Suddenly I See
by Dobes77
Summary: Beca has split with Jesse after 10 years. She head to Ireland to stay with her Gran. She befriends a unhappy married redhead called Chloe who has three children. Where will the story take them. Bechloe endgame.
1. Chapter 1

Suddenly I see.

'Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Dublin' I shifted awkwardly in my seat. I couldn't wait to get to my grandma's house. This had been one long plane journey. It hadn't been helped by the fact I had gone 24 hours with no sleep before even boarding at LAX, not to mention the 10hour flight I had just been on. I needed sleep. I had completely struggled to sleep on this flight and I wasn't even sure why. I couldn't wait to spend the month with my Grandma. I hadn't seen her in so long.

I had broken up with Jesse after 10 years together. We had been separated for just over 12months, to cope with our break up I had thrown myself into work and suffered a burn out. I mean we just became best friends and we both admitted our relationship had ran its course. Doesn't make it easier though. So, after a complete burn out, and being admitted to hospital with exhaustion I decided to take a month off from everything and go to visit my Gran. She doesn't live in Dublin so I still have a 45minute drive to deal with, she lives in the most beautiful little place called Blessington in County Wicklow. It is a far cry from LA but I couldn't wait! Fresh air, mountains, a stunning coast line, no clubs, no press. Bliss.

I hit myself up with a hire car, an after a about hours' drive I pulled up outside. The cottage next to the village pub had been renovated and looked amazing. That placed had been left for years, Gran had said it had been bought but wow it looked amazing. I turned the engine off. There was nothing but silence, I smiled to myself and opened the car door, pulled my luggage out and walked up the path. As I got to the door looking half dead, I heard an American accent. 'Hiya are you Beca?' I did not want small talk conversation, I wanted to get in and see my gran before sleeping for a week. I turned to the side, just there over the wall stood the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Where did that thought come from? Jesus. Erm answer her this silence is getting weird. 'erm yeah, I am looking for my Gran.' Before I knew it the red head was making her way towards the wall separating the cottages. 'She told me to look out for you, she said to give you this key and said she will be back by 7pm she had some errands to run. I am Chloe by the way.' Her smile was beaming and I didn't want to be rude but I was so tired. 'Oh thanks, nice to meet you Chloe, without wanting to be super rude do you mind if I enter my Grans, just I've not slept for near 30 hours and I feel like death.' I gave her a small smile. She chuckled 'Of course not, I figured you would be shattered so when Grace said she wouldn't be here when you arrived, I just made up a few bits for you,' She picked up this little box and handed it to me. 'Erm thanks, I will grab a shower, eat this and then sleep for 7 days.' I laughed and gave her a small wink. She laughed back, 'If you need anything just give me a shout, hopefully see you around Grace has told me so much about you.'

'Oh lord, whatever she has said it isn't true!' she laughed 'I already know it is. Now go get some sleep' I nodded and as she turned away I entered my grans, placed my case down and opened my box the redhead had given me. Inside was a small tub of soup, some homemade bread and a piece of Irish teacake and a miniature bottle of whiskey. A small smile came across my face. How cute was she to do this for me? Somebody she didn't even know. An I had been such a grumpy arse. Metal note do some baking while you are here Mitchell and take it round.

I took my stuff to the spare room, the room I used to spend all my summer holidays. Not much had changed, I kind of liked that though. I felt home. I ran the bath water and striped out of my travel clothes. God it felt good to be back here. I couldn't wait to see Gran. I had missed her so much. This break u had killed me emotionally. Jesse had always been there for 10years and now even though we spoke regular it wasn't the same. I didn't miss him so much as my partner but my god did I miss him as my best friend. I opened my iPod, Tom Odell. Perfect. I immersed myself into the bathtub and switched off.

Before I knew it I heard the door go. That voice the way she shouted my name, that Irish accent it made my insides feel warm and fussy. 'Rebeca I am back, sorry I wasn't here love, you ok?' I jumped out of the bath, threw my dressing gown around my shrivelled-up skin and dashed down the stairs like a child on Christmas morning. As I entered the kitchen there she was. I nearly hit her for six with such a massive hug. 'Gran, I have missed you so much' she flung her arms around me. I began to sob my heart out. She held me, stroked my hair, she never said anything other than to let me know how much she loves me. After several minutes, she pushed us apart. Her hands cupped my face. 'oh Rebeca, my beautiful girl. You have been through it but you will get there that I promise, however you must start talking. Have you told Jesse you are here?' I nodded and made my way over to the desk top where the food from Chloe was resting. I heated the soup. 'Where did you pick that up?' Indicating to the soup, bread, cake and whiskey. I smiled, 'Chloe gave it to me. She seems lovely.'

'Oh, she is a utter sweet heart, that redhead. She is from Florida. She moved here 10 years ago with her husband. His name is Tom, they moved in about a year ago, they gutted that house, it is so beautiful inside. She has three gorgeous little children too they are always in and out of here.' My Gran let out a little chuckle. Hearing here laugh in such a way made my heart warm it was nice for Gran to have youngsters in her house. All 4 of her grandchildren were spread around the world and after my Grandad passed I wondered how she would cope, but she has surprised us all with how well she is doing two years on. I couldn't believe Chloe had three children though that really surprised me. 'How old are her children? She never mentioned them before or Tom' I was dripping my bread in to my soup and it tasted amazing. 'Well her eldest is a young girl called Siobhan she is 8, then there is little Patrick he is 7 and as cheeky as they come, and then the little one is 3 she is called Niamh she is a character that one.' My Gran was full of smiles telling me about them. I finished my soup and placed the dishes in the sink. 'As for their dad, well he is an utter idiot. I tell Chloe she needs to throw him overboard all the time. Horrible man.' I picked my whiskey up, and cuddled up to my Gran. I kissed her on the cheek and gave her a big smile ' I have missed you so much.'

'Missed you more kiddo, so come on spill, what's going on in that mind of yours, there is plenty more whiskey to go so let it all out.' I sighed an before I had chance to say anything there was a knock at the door. Gran stood up and walked over to answer it, 'Well come on in little one, is it that time already?' I heard a little Irish voice 'Yes Granny Gracey Milk and talk time' the next minute the cutest little boy walked in. He stood dead in his tracks when his stunning green eyes caught mine.

'Granny is this Rebeca?' he had curly blonde hair that he had tucked behind his ears and he was wearing a set of Batman Pjs. 'It certainly is Patrick go and say hi.' Next minute this little guy waked over to me, held his little hand out. 'Hello Rebeca, I am Patrick. I am 7 years old and live next door. Your Gran is the best. '

'Why hello Patrick, lovely to meet you, and she certainly is, is she getting you milk and biscuits?'

He looked at me and nodded with a big smile on his face. 'Yes, we have it quick as mummy will be here in a minute to get me.' The door popped open, there stood Chloe, with Siobhan and Niamh.

'Grace it I only us, thought I would come and pick Patrick up before he eats you out of house and home.' Niamh looked like a mini version of Chloe, red hair, dimples, bluest eyes and such a beautiful smile. Siobhan was tall, with curly red hair to her shoulders, green eyes and she was very slim and very shy.

'Oh behave Chloe I wouldn't be a evening time without a visit from my faves now would it. Milk and biscuits all round?' 'yes yes yes yes yes please shouted Patrick, a yes from Niamh and a small nod from Siobhan.

Chloe sat opposite me, 'Sorry about this. We have become slightly accustomed to visiting Grace before we head off to bed when their dad is on night shifts.' I watched the children interacting with Gran it reminded me of when I was a child. It was pretty magic to watch.

Chloe was wearing some grey sweatpants and a navy superdry hoodie, her hair was wavy and fell to her shoulders. 'No need to apologise, they clearly make my Gran happy.'

'Can I get you anything? Whiskey, tea, coffee?' I stood up and headed towards the kitchen side. 'Erm I would love a tea. Just milk please.' She smiled at me and weirdly my stomach flipped. Like actually full on flipped, what the hell was that. While I was making tea I watched my Gran with the children it was super cute how they took turns to tell her about their day.

I popped Chloe's tea down on the side. 'So sorry to hear about you and your partner, your Gran mentioned it in passing one day, she got a little upset as she was worried about you. I think she has used me as a little bit of a sounding board for her concern for you, however if you want to tell me to back off then no offence taken.' I have no idea why but I wasn't even annoyed. 'no, no it is completely fine. I Just realised that actually he didnt give me fire in my tummy anymore and I didn't want to waste any more time with the wrong person if you get what I mean? He felt the same and it has been so emotional, but I don't have any regrets. He is with somebody new and so happy, its great to see that smile on his face again, it had been missing for too long.'

Chloe stayed very quiet. She gave out a small sigh, 'I wish I was brave enough to do that. 10 years, three children and no spark. That's me and my husband Tom. I think we have outgrown each other. He has had several affairs and I have taken him back for the children, but you just described what is important and that is each other being happy.' She paused, realising what she had said and to who ' One day me and the children can be free that's the hope. She took the last sip of her drink. 'sorry about that, you didn't need to hear that. Right tiddly winks come on Granny Grace has to get ready for bed too. Say good night and to Rebeca too.' I stood up and coughed, 'Its just Beca. Nice to meet you all and thank you for making my Gran smile so much. Chloe while I am here if you want to talk I am here, ears open no judgement.' I smiled at her and she smiled back as she bent down to pick Niamh up, 'Thanks Bec, how about a coffee tomorrow?' My Gran entered with Patrick in tow and Siobhan was stood by the front door. 'bye Beca' Patrick shouted and he put his hand up for a high five. I pushed my hand up against his, 'High Five dude' he chuckled and ran to the door to Siobhan.

'Thank you, Grace, and Bec just give me a knock about 11am and we can grab that coffee' we shared a smile 'can we make it like 1pm?' she let out a little laugh 'Of course' and with that they pelted my gran with kisses and hugs before leaving.

Silence was golden.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The front door shut and my gran let out a small held in breath. 'those kids melt my heart Rebeca' I stood up from my chair collected the cups me and Chloe had used and popped them in to the sink. 'So you and Chloe are meeting up tomorrow?' I started to walk out of the kitchen before responding 'yeah we are going to grab a coffee I think, she seems really nice. No idea how she manages them 3 though' I let out a small giggle as I sat down in front of the fire. 'Well she certainly gets no help from that Thomas. He is useless. She is a primary school teacher you know. Very clever, plays guitar and piano, she just took time out for her own family. She did say she was thinking of going back to work, but I don't think he wants her too.'

I took a deep breath in. I had only known Chloe for a few hours but I was confused. She made me feel things that were not anything I had felt before. I felt a little for her from what she said before. It seemed like she was willing to sacrifice her own happiness for her children's. An I am not sure I understand that. 'so, Mitchell, spill. What has been going through that mind of yours.' She sat next to me and held out her arms. 'Where do I even start Gran' she held me tight 'well the beginning is always a good start sweet heart.'

My phone woke me up. I opened my eyes and realised I was on the sofa wrapped up in a massive blanket. There was a note on the table next to my mobile. 'You fell asleep on me, just so you know, I am so proud of you Rebeca, chase your dreams, trust your gut instinct and most of all relax here, your heart needs repairing as much as your mind. This is Chloe's number, message her, she needs a good friend just like you. I have gone to run a few errands. Love you always. Gran'

I smiled. My gran really was the best. I looked at my phone and there was a message from Jesse.

'Hey Weirdo, hope you got to Grace's house safely. Have a wonderful time you deserve it. Don't be a stranger. Xx'

I rubbed my eyes and stretched out. It was just after 8.30am. What the hell. I never woke this early specially after such little sleep. Jetlag is a bitch. Last night had been a tough one with Gran everything I had been holding in for 12months tumbled out. As painful and as hard as it had been god did I feel better for it today. I felt more like me. The pressure had gone. I opened my phone up and messaged Jesse back. 'Hey, yeah got here fine, just tired, Gran says hello and she hopes you are well, said you still owe her a bottle of bourbon. Ha. I am staying here for about a month. Il arrange coffee when I get back. Take it easy. Beca xx'

I had a fare few social media messages, I wanted some radio silence but I didn't want to let followers down. So, figured I would put a message out today and another in a few weeks.

I stood up and walked to the patio of my Grans garden. It looked out on to beautiful open fields. I took a picture as I sat with my coffee. I posted it to my accounts titled 'emerald isle' I then placed my accounts on silent. I sat back on the deck chair, it was so peaceful. Well it was. I started to hear raised voices it sounded like Chloe and what I am assuming is Thomas.

'Chloe, we have talked about this, you going back to work is not an option until Niamh is in her first year. Who will be here for her, where will she go while you swan back to that place'

'Tom, I have every right to want to go back, I am not just here to look after our children and cook and clean for you and put up with your verbal put downs and crap, I have a brain'

'Well use it and understand you aren't going back to work, end of. Now get Siobhan and Patrick off to school, I am off to bed.'

Gran was right he sounded like a total dick. He made my blood boil.

'I picked my note up off Gran and text Chloe 'Hiya Chloe, its Beca. My gran left me your number. Coffee? 9.30? xx'

Siobhan, Patrick come on pick your bags up, let's go go go. Niamh sweetie come on we must drop the guys at school. I did my usual leaving the house check list. Got the kids in the car and started the car up. What I wanted to do was slap that idiot across the face, he made my blood boil. However, the girls and Patrick didn't need to see or hear that, just wait till he gets up. The radio was playing No more sad songs by Little Mix oh the irony. Siobhan was really quiet more than normal on the car journey, Patrick was keeping Niamh entertained. He adored her.

'You ok mum?' Siobhan looked at me, 'Yeah of course baby girl, why would I not be?' she looked up at me, with such sad eyes. 'I heard what dad said, he wasn't very nice to you' My heart broke. Right there in that moment my beautiful little girl grew up. I want to cry and my eyes glazed over. I took a deep breath. 'Siobhan baby, I am absolutely fine, Daddy has been working all night he was just tired, you know how grumpy he can be with no sleep. Don't worry about me and your dad, he drives me mad at times but he is a fab dad to you, Patrick and Niamh' I smiled at her and placed my hand on her knee. We pulled up at the school. I stopped the car and my phone beeped. Siobhan and Patrick jumped out. I helped Niamh get out of her car seat. I gave Siobhan a hug and kiss, 'When daddy is at work tonight and the others have gone to bed, me and you can have hot chocolates and watch a film in bed if you like?' A massive smile came across her face. 'I'd love that mum' I ruffled Patricks hair as he ran passed me to his friends. I then walked Niamh to her nursery that was at the side of building.

I bend down gave her a kiss and she ran off 'Bye Mum, love you' I laughed and Keeley one of the staff members took Niamh's bag and coat off me. 'hey Keeley, is there any chance Niamh can stay for a full day today? Il pick her up at 3.30? il pay the difference.'

'Yeah no problems Mrs McCarthy, I will add it to the account. See you at 3.30'

I walked away and figured I would go home shower, pick up my guitar and spend the day by the reservoir. I couldn't bare to be anywhere near that idiot husband of mine.

I looked at my phone as I jumped in the car and the message was from an unknown number. As I read it a big smile came across my face.

I Sent a quick message back 'Hiya Beca, did think you would be up this early. Ha. 9.30 sounds great. I have just dropped the children off, heading home for a shower and to get changed. Instead of coffee you fancy grabbing some bits for lunch and heading to the reservoir? Was going to take my guitar up there? If not coffee is great too. Clo xx'

I had been out of the shower about 20minutes and was currently straightening my hair trying to make myself look half alive. My phone beeped, flashed up message from Red. I smiled and swiped my phone open. What was going on with me, why was I feeling giddy about receiving a message from a girl, not only that but a girl that I have met 1 day previous.

I typed a message back. 'Sounds perfect to me. Just give me a shout when you are ready J Xx'

I heard Chloe's car arrive back, I threw my navy ripped skinny jeans on, my grey billy Joel t-shirt and my mustard yellow Toms. I had a grey hoodie too for the just in case. I left my hair down and added a few bracelets and rings. Sprayed some perfume and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.

I walked in, look at the state of the house and thought fuck it. He can sort it. I walked in to our bedroom and pulled my black jeans out along with a white V-neck -t-shirt, and a distressed denim shirt. I jumped in the shower, got out sorted myself out just as I was leaving the room 'Where you off too?' I rolled my eyes while I was stood on the landing. 'I am off for coffee with Graces grand-daughter next door. Problem?' I heard him moving around. 'No problem but did you need to shower and put so much effort in if it is just coffee?'

I sighed. 'I am hardly dressed for a full on night out am i. jeans a tshirt and a shirt. Jesus. If you hadn't of cheated so much you wouldn't be so paranoid'

The door flung open, 'where is our Niamh?'

'she is in nursery till 3.30. after this morning, I fancied a day by myself. Then Beca messaged and asked if I would like to go for coffee as Grace had given her my number. Feel free to join us if you want.' I walked down the stairs, grabbed my keys 'You are a joke Chloe, a fucking Joke, I am not even worried about you seeing anybody else, they wouldn't want you. Body isn't what it used to be babe. As he slammed the bedroom door.'

I was so angry with him I couldn't help but rise to him. 'that's right slam the door you bastard and my body isn't what it used to be because I have had 3 fucking children. Not that you would even know you had children, you certainly weren't thinking about them when you were shagging that Kelly were you, fuck off.'

I took a deep breath put my sunglasses on and walked up the path to Graces.

I heard a knock on the door and I have no idea why but my stomach felt like there was a million butterflies having a party in it. What is this. It is just Chloe, you don't even know her and she is a woman. I took a deep breath and grabbed my bag, hoodie and water off the side. I opened the door and Chloe looked beautiful. She looked what? Jesus head calm down and quit making me feel weird.

'Morning you ok?' I giggled 'Yeah as good as I can be off not much sleep, my head feels a bit fuzzy, jet lag and all that jazz. Kids all ok?'

'I can imagine, an yeah eldest two in school and my baby is in nursery until 3.30. So I have to pick them all up then, you ok to come with me to get them on the way back?'

'yeah of course, Patrick intrigues me ha ha'

As we got in the car, I looked up and noticed a guy in the upstairs window of Chloe's home. He just stared at me.

I put my sunglasses on and turned to Chloe. 'Your guy not happy you are coming out? He is giving me some looks from the window' i seen Chloes face drop, she seemed embarrassed. Shit I shouldn't have said anything. Her phone beeped for a message. 'I am so sorry he did that, he is a little shall we say idiotic at times, so I apologise if he has caused you any offence.' I pressed play on the music system in her car while she read her message. Chainsmokers- something just like this came on.

Tom: Enjoy your time with that dyke from next door, she doesn't seem your usual type.

Chloe: Tom just stop, she isn't even gay and last time I checked me and you were married, go to sleep. Sleep makes you a better person. See you later xx

'Sorry about that.' Chloe smiled and started the car up. We were on our way. Three songs later and a discussion of where in the states we were both from and we had arrived. It was funny really, she had no idea I was a music producer, Gran never really spoke about what I did. When people asked what I did she just said I was a musician.

We reached a flat area with the most amazing view. I throw a blanket down and we unpacked the bits we gathered from the shop down. It was so peaceful.

'It is a bit different to LA hey.' Chloe was unzipping her guitar case. 'Grace said you are a musician so what instruments do you play?'

I liked that Chloe didn't know who I was, well she did she was spending time with me, Beca Mitchell the individual not Beca Mitchell music producer. However, I didn't want to create something that stemmed from a lie.

'Well I wouldn't really say musician, I song write and produce music really.'

'Omg really, that is so cool. Next you will be telling me you write for the stars and have a ton of awards' she was chuckling away to herself.

'Well enough about my job, I am on holiday, what you going to play me?' she looked at me, keeping eye contact, her eyes were stunning I could look in to the all-day…Mitchell get a grip. She laughed.

'I am not sure you may of heard this one, it was out a few years ago, however I have only been practising it for a little while but I love it.'

She started picking away, I could see she was feeling a little embarrassed I mean who wouldn't she hardly knew me. I opened my bag and pulled out my drawing pad. I began to draw her. She stopped playing. 'What you are doing?' I placed my pencil down and looked up at Chloe. It was weird I felt like a school child, yet I was 28 and about to sound like an idiot. 'well we haven't known each other, long, right? Several hours really. An I know how private and personal playing music can be especially when it is only in front of just one person. So I figured as we were sharing something personal I would sketch you so to not make you feel as nervous, that way we can both share the weirdness together. What you think? She picked up my pencil and handed it back to me, before picking her guitar up and smiling. 'you really are Graces granddaughter'

The guitar started up again, I knew the song, I had been on work experience in the studio where it had been recorded, about 11years ago. Watching KT Tunstall with her producer made me want to be one. She had musically blown my mind and over the years we have caught up many a time. Sketching Chloe wasn't easy she was so beautiful and her voice was stunning, I found it difficult to concentrate, but I didn't want it to not capture everything in her at that moment. She was looking out across the reservoir and rarely gave any eye contact as she sang away

'Cause I'm under the weather  
Just like the world  
So sorry for being so bold  
When I turn out the light  
You're out of sight  
Although I know that I'm not alone  
Feels like home  
Feels like home

You say you feel like a natural person  
You haven't got nothing to hide  
So why do you feel imperfection  
Cut like a sword in your side?

'Cause you're under the weather  
Just like the world  
So sorry for being so bold  
When I turn out the light  
You're out of sight  
Although I…

She went quiet, put the guitar down and took a sip of water from her bottle.

'That was beautiful by the way. Kate would be impressed.' She looked up. 'Kate?'

'Yeah Kate Tunstall, she wrote it right? And Steve O was a producer on the album. She is a pretty awesome musician, especially in the studio, she knows what she wants.'

Chloe moved a little closer to me. 'you have met KT Tunstall?' I put my pencil down. 'yeah erm I have known her for a few years, I worked on her latest album, well I supported her to produce it. '

'WHAT….seriously? jesus you really are famous.'

'Woahhhhhh I aint famous well not from having worked with Kate but I have worked with a few lesser talented yet more famous singers and had more press from that.'

'Spill….' I laughed 'ok ok, il talk to you about music if you play a few more tracks until I finish this sketch…. '

'Deal, you know what Beca, I woke up this morning and my day started off pretty shit, thank you for making it awesome. ' she smiled and picked up her guitar.

I didn't know why but I knew trouble was going to come my way.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chloe had picked her way through another two tracks, Fast Car by Tracy Chapman and Just My Imagination by The Cranberries. She had done amazing versions of both songs and had currently started playing a song I hadn't heard before. I had been finishing the sketch off, however there was something about this song, it was like she had forgotten I was there, lost herself in the lyrics. It was beautiful and it made me want to cry, she was so vulnerable.

I continued to look at her, the slight breeze blowing her hair close to her face. It was hard to believe she had three children a husband and a home she looked so peaceful

'It's too easy to say that nothing feels right  
I can make some lame excuse  
Say I'll be better tonight  
I can let you go on thinking, that it's something you've done  
But it's nothing between us  
There's no guilty one

But there are sometimes, there's no way to explain  
And there's no rhyme or reason for the way that I'm feeling this pain  
I just get so emotional, so emotional  
When there's no way off the floor and there's no-one else's door to lay the blame

Keep my eyes closed, my tears weren't meant to be seen  
I'm fragile like a small bird caught in the wind  
And I can't bear to pretend anymore  
Too anyone  
Its just one of those days and there's no guilty one

But sometimes there's no way to explain and there's no rhyme or reason for the way that I'm feeling this  
Pain  
I just get so emotional so emotional  
When there's no way off the floor and there's no-one else's door to lay the blame

But there are sometimes there's no way to explain  
And there's rhyme or reason for the way that I'm feeling this pain  
I just get so emotional so emotional when there's no way off the floor and there's on one elses door to  
Lay the blame

And there's sometimes there's no way to explain and there's no rhyme or reason for the way that I'm  
Feeling this pain'

Chloe wiped away a tear and took a deep breath.

'Chloe, you ok?'

'Yeah Beca I am fine, sorry I got a little lost then, forgot how much I love playing that song.'

I looked over at Chloe making eye contact with the emotional redhead. 'did you write it? She looked at me and smiled. 'no I don't have those talents, it's a song called so emotional by an artist called Alex Parks, she only did one album and that was it she disappeared, I love the album though.' I smiled, 'so long as you are ok, I know this is a bit out there as you don't really know me but my ears are always open Chlo.'

She looked over while grabbing her water bottle. 'I know and thank you. Right where is this sketch.' I looked down at what was in front of me, I added finishing touches and handed it to her. 'Wow Beca your art work is amazing. Pass me the pencil please, I want to write on this for you.'

'No no Chloe its for you. I couldn't possibly keep it.' She was scribbling on the font of the picture. She had a huge smile on her face has she handed it back. The bottom of the sketch she had written 'it's all yours, Chloe x' So when you go back to LA and you are having a day of it, you can look at this and think about this day'

I looked down and smiled, 'so what do you have to remind you of this day then?' Chloe looked at me 'i won't need a reminder, il never forget it.' I felt my cheeks go slightly red, this was so weird, I had never had feelings around women ever, but my god there was something with Chloe I couldn't work out, it was like I had known her my whole life. I knew it would bring me a whole load of trouble but I didn't care.

I opened the shopping bag that had our lunch in and I helped myself to some fruit. 'so how did you end up in Ireland? Chloe sighed 'well that's a story 'she started laughing.

'Well I have time' as I started eating at the strawberries we had picked.

'Well I met Thomas in the states at college. He was born in Ireland but moved to florida with his family when he was young. We were friends at first and then one night we were both pretty drunk and one thing led to another, not that I remember much. We started dating and after about 6 week I found out I was pregnant. It was a massive shock! Well my family were not impressed by my pregnancy, and Thomas's grandparents had become unwell so his parents were returning to Ireland to look after them. Thomas did want me to be alone and pregnant so he asked me to go with him to Ireland and him and his family would look after us. So I packed up my stuff and followed him here. Unfortunately, though after being here for two weeks I had a miscarriage. He was so sweet though, he was such a fantastic pillar of support and always made sure I was ok, even offered for me to go back the states.'

Chloe went quiet, that must have been so tough for her. She took a sip of water and turned to me 'Well you would have thought we would of been more careful when it came to pregnancy. However,18 months later my period was late and I found myself pregnant with Siobhan. Once again this wasn't planned, however I put it down to me and Thomas being destined to have children. At this point, Thomas had a job working in finance and had become quite savvy with money. I had been to college and before I was to give birth I completed my music qualification alongside my PGCE. Well Siobhan was born an as soon as she was placed in my arms my whole world changed. Thomas had always been so important to me, he was all I had, however the moment my eyes met Siobhan's all of that changed, she was the most important little thing in my life.

I won't lie being a first-time mum so young was not easy, and me and Thomas had our fair share of fights and disagreements, however the making up was always awesome. That awesome I fell pregnant with Patrick, I couldn't believe it. Thomas to be fair was so supportive and we decided we needed a bigger home. His grandparents had given him money before they had passed and he had invested it. He used that money to buy the house we had before this one. Patrick was born and I fell in love, he has such a cheeky smile and his beautiful blue eyes, I lost myself. As he and Siobhan were so close in age it was easier with two, Siobhan was a pretty quiet baby and as she grew up she was always shy and sensitive. Patrick on the other hand was just wanting to be involved in everything. Siobhan was so patient with him though. Thomas had also started working a shift pattern in his job due t there being different sellers operating at various times. So me Siobhan and Patrick made quite a tight team especially when he was on nights. We got married 5years ago. His proposal was so sweet as he got the kid involved.'

Chloe let out a sly smile as she remembered the moment. She let out a sigh. 'we got married and then for some reason after our first anniversary things changed between us. We fought more, and didn't make up as much, he worked more and had less time for the children. Explaining that to them was hard. Even though I had made some friends I was not close enough with them to confide in them. I started to feel very alone. Thomas and the children were my world and for some reason it was changing.'

Chloe ran her hands through her hair and sighed. Her posture changed and she became pretty sad.

'Hey Chlo you don't have to carry on you know, you don't have to tell me anything you don't want too.'

'Beca, I have never spoken to anybody about this, and I have no idea why I feel I can talk to you about this but if I do get some of it out I think I may lose the plot.'

She closed her eyes and I placed my hand on hers. 'Ok well you throw it all out there and I will listen, I wont judge or pass comment, I will just listen.'

I couldn't believe I was about to spill all this heartache to Beca, a total stranger really. There was something about her though. Like I had always known her, it was strange but so comforting. I felt her warm hand on top of mine as she gave me reassurance.

'well one morning he came home later than normal. When I questioned him on it he was acting a bit cagey, so when he went for a shower I went through his phone, I know I know I shouldn't of however I found all these messages on his phone from this women, turns out he had slept with her, he had however wrote what happened should never of happened I have a wife and two children I am sorry it cannot happen again. I was devastated. I confronted him he went off on one, I went off on one and it was proper shit. His parents took care of Siobhan and Patrick while me and Thomas went away for two weeks to sort ourselves out. An we did as hard as it was I didn't want to lose him and after a ton of soul searching we both agreed we had neglected each other. We spent weeks and months making it up to each other and a week after Patricks 4th Birthday I found out I was pregnant. I was devastated to be honest, bless our Niamh she wasn't planned either and I had been on the pill, caught out by taking antibiotics. I told Thomas and he flipped, said he hadn't wanted anymore children but not like there was anything we could do now. So them pretty much after Niamh was born everything changed again and it had been pretty similar ever since. I found out he was sleeping with a woman who worked in the city and I packed mine and the children's bags and he begged me to stay so like an idiot I did and now I have three children, no career no real family or friends except your Gran, a husband who I know is sleeping around, he can be aggressive, controlling and a shit to the child

ren but I have no idea what to do and I often find myself so lonely that it's embarrassing. Soooooo that's me.'

I couldn't believe what I had just heard. While Choe had been talking i had chomped my way through half the bag of food we had bought to stop myself from losing it. I was in shock how on earth could you cheat on Chloe, like how? How could you hurt her?

I looked across at her, 'well Chlo I dont even know what to say really and I certainly won't do the whole leave him business, you already know that but it isn't easy and you have Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh to think about and as much as it would be better for them not to be in that environment it isn't so easy to go, plus you guys have history, you are married, you have a home. It was hard enough when I decided I didn't want to be with Jesse after 10 years at least we didn't have children. I mean I ended up in hospital I was so distressed by it all. I knew I didn't love him in the way I should anymore but it broke my heart breaking his, so I have no idea how you even get up and crack on every day and seem so happy.'

Chloe took a deep breath. 'I do it for my children I can't have them see me upset, I don't want them worrying. However, this morning Siobhan asked me if I was ok as she had heard what her dad had said to me. That broke my heart. So, I know I need to sort this and before she starts to fully understand, that's why I want to get back to work. If I am earning I can save money slowly for savings so I can rent a place and get out. I wouldn't move from here though. I know he will cause murder, but I don't want the children to not have their dad regardless.'

'Well it sounds to me like you have a plan, and from what you have told me I have no doubt you will do what is best for you and the kids. I am around for a month before I head back, I'm not working on anything and I have no plans so if you need any help then just ask. Its what friends are for right?'

I am not one for hugs, however when Chloe leant over and threw her arms around me I placed my arms around her and just held her. It didn't make me feel uneasy if anything it felt right. I rolled my eyes, what was going on! I was losing my mind I knew I was. 'Thank You Beca, It's nice to have a friend round here.'

After what was a linger hug we parted. I looked at my watch and smirked. 'Chlo, how about one last song before we go pick the children up?'

'ok what you go planned? I cant play that much.'

'Don't worry I have this one sorted, pass me your guitar.'

'I'm growing like a seed  
Rain's been falling on me  
I've been covered and cold  
I've been shrouded in doubt

My heart is on a wire  
Sitting pretty like a bird  
But the hunter is out  
And the eagle has heard the word'

Chloe smiled at me and began to sing the chorus with me.

That I feel  
Feel it all  
Yes I can feel  
Feel it all

'I'm looking to the sky  
And I'll be listening to the stars  
And maybe thinking of you  
And wondering where you are'

At this point Chloe began to sing with me again, her voice was perfect, and this sounded awesome.

Do you know what you've done for me?  
You made my branches grow  
Now they can play with the wind  
And they can carry the snow

And they can feel, feel it all  
Yes they can feel, feel it all

So take what you want  
And leave what you don't need  
And I'll go looking for you  
You keep your eye out for me

'Cause our heart is on a wire  
Sitting pretty like a bird  
But the hunter is hunting  
And the eagle is us

And we can feel, feel it all  
Yes we can feel, feel it all  
Oh we can feel, it all  
Yes we can feel, it all'

I put the guitar down, looked across at my new 'friend' she had the biggest smile on her face, 'come on lets go and get my rabble I am sure they will want to see Grace' She gave out a giggle. 'really?'

'Yeah Bec my children adore her, every day before bed they go around and tell her about their day, Siobhan loves to read Grace stories, Though Thomas is on nights tonight so told her when Patrick and Niamh are in bed me and her will have Hot Chocolates and watch a movie in bed, So will probably be a quick visit to Grace tonight.'

'I am sure she won't mind, we will probably put some music on and have a few whiskeys, while she counsels me'

We both started laughing and headed back to the car walking in silence both thinking about the past few hours.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

We arrived back at the car and as we were driving back, Chloe's phone kept ringing with Thomas flashing up. Chloe was ignoring it. 'you not going to get that?' she looked at me, 'No. After this morning he is lucky I am returning home. He can wait' I bit my lip, note to self don't get involved.

She looked over at me as we pulled up at the school, she shut her eyes as her phone started going off again. 'sorry beca, I didn't mean to sound so short with you, just dread what I am off home too. Be back in a minute'

I took the opportunity to ring Gran. 'Why hello my beautiful grandchild, where have you been all day?' I chuckled, 'I am still with Chloe we went up the reservoir and took a picnic ad her guitar I have had a top day, just at the school with her and then be back. Want me to pick anything up for tea?'

'Well Beca it sounds like you have enjoyed yourself, how about we go out for tea tonight? There is a pub in the town, West Wicklow House, thought we could enjoy tea and a few drinks?'

'Gran that sounds fab, I can't wait. Will be back in about 15 minutes'

As I hit my phone Patrick jumped in the car, 'Its you!' he shouted in his adorable Irish accent.

'it is indeed young man!' he threw his bag on to the floor and clicked his belt in. 'What you doing in our car? And why is your voice funny?' I turned around to look at him just as Niamh was climbing in to her seat 'mummy I have had the best day, I did painting and played with sand and water and when I get home I hope daddy isn't so noisy.' Siobhan clipped Niamh in and sat down, she did her own belt and under her breath I heard her say 'I hope dad isn't in.'

Patrick shouted out 'You never answered my question, why are you in our car?' I started laughing and Chloe turned around 'Patrick McCarthy you were brought up not dragged, Manners. An me and Beca have been out at the reservoir today that is why she is in the car.'

Siobhan was giggling in the back. 'ha get told Patrick' Niamh 'Yeah Patrick get told' she started laughing placing her little hands to her mouth. Patrick folded his arms and was frowning.

Chloe started the car up and we were on our way back. 'Hey Patrick my voice is funny because I live in Los Angeles in America' He kept quiet. Niamh piped up 'My mummy is from America, she lived by Mickey Mouse.' Siobhan replied with 'No Niamh mum is from Florida, where its sunny all the time, and where Disneyland is but we wouldn't know coz dad won't let us go there'

'what is there in that Los place you live Beca?' shouted Patrick.

Chloe looked at me and rolled her eyes 'Well in LA for short we make a lot of films, and it is where Hollywood is.'

'Can you show us some pictures I don't know what it is like, an I like pictures,'

'I tell you what, one night when you come to see Grace I will show you pictures of my house and where I live ok?'

All three replied to me 'Yeah that's cool' at that moment we arrived at the house. All the kids got out and they all ran past me. 'thanks for a lovely day Chloe, hope you have a nice evening and if you need me just drop us a message.'

'Thanks, Beca I had a lovely day too. I best go and see Mr Sunshine himself. I'll drop you a message'

With that she lent in and gave me a hug. I didn't want to let go strangely, I didn't normally do hugs.

With that Chloe went up her drive way and I entered my Grans. As I entered the living room and sat down I wondered what Chloe had walked in to.

'Right kids, upstairs, uniforms off, wash your hands and then you can have a snack' I walked in to the kitchen a picked up some apples. I began to cut them up and place slices on plates. Thomas walked through the door, 'I am not going to work for the rest of the week.' I looked at him confused, as he never took time off, also my stomach sank, a week with him at home, I wanted to cry. 'Look Clo, I am sorry about this morning I was out of order, I realise that. In fact, I have been out of order for a few weeks. I spoke with mum and dad and they are going to come have the kids for a few days. I have booked us a few days away so we can talk and fix us.'

I stood in shock as he moved closer to me. Him being this close to me was unusual. We hadn't shared a real kiss in months and we hadn't of had sex for at least 3months, so I was feeling a little uncomfortable, he must have sensed it surely. I wasn't happy about leaving the children at all either. I never left them. Nor did I want too. I didn't even want to fix this anymore, and it was like he was this different guy from this morning, it made no sense 'Oh right ok, erm when and where?' Tom placed his hands on my waist, and leant in, whispering into my ear, tomorrow afternoon and we come back 4 days later, we are off to Barcelona.

'Barcelona! Tom that is miles away, you should have asked, I don't want to be that far away from the children.' At this point I really wanted him to move away from me, he was too close and I felt like I was drowning. 'Come on Clo it will be good for us, we can have some us time, get back to where we were, I mean we haven't even had sex for months, I miss it. Then he attempted to kiss me, as he did I moved backwards without realising. Tom looked at me with Angry eyes, at that point, thankfully Patrick and Niamh came running in. Tom looked at me, 'we will carry this on later' and he walked outside. I didn't want to go away, just me and him the thought made me so anxious. 'Shit'

I picked up my phone and pulled up my messages from Beca, I don't know why but I needed to speak with her. So, I started typing.

'Hey You, thank you for a perfect day, tom has taken the week off. He has booked for us to go Barcelona tomorrow. Four days, says he wants to fix us. I don't want to be away from the kids. Hope you and Grace are having a nice evening. Clo xxx'

Gran and I were sat in the pub enjoying our meal. We were talking about her day as our food arrived. I had just started tucking in to mine when my phone went off. I glanced at it seeing it was Chloe. I opened it, read the message and for some reason my stomach flipped and I was hit with this feeling I have never had before, I really didn't want her to go away with Thomas, but who the hell was I, and I'd known her 48 hours. What was going on. Keep it cool Mitchell.

'Everything ok Beca?' Gran looked at me, while taking a sip of her wine.

Yeah it is Chloe, she said Thomas is taking her away for a few days, doesn't look like she wants to go though. They really are in a mess, I feel for her. I mean as hard as it was for me breaking up with Jesse at least we didn't have children.

I typed a quick message back. 'Hey Clo, thank you for a perfect day more like. I can't remember the last time I enjoy something so much. I guess he is trying? Maybe see what happens. You have loved him for so long, one last try to see how you feel before making the decision? Yeah me and Grace are enjoying ourselves, currently stuffing my face with Mac and Cheese. Hope you and the kids are ok xxx'

I placed my phone back down as my Gran looked at me. 'You and Chloe seem to have hit off in a short space of time.' She raised her eyebrows at me.

'What do you mean by that?' Gran shrugged her shoulders. 'It is weird though feels like I have always known her. I've never had that before, odd really.' I took a sip of my wine and continued with eating my food.

My gran smiled, 'well sometimes people appear in your life for a reason. Even if you don't know why.'

So Gran I said, who is William and why does he keep messaging you? I gave her a cheeky smile and she blushed. 'William is a friend of mine, he knew your grandad for years. He likes Books and we enjoy going to the book club together and dancing too.'

I looked at Gran and placed my hand on top of hers on the table, I think it is great you have William to do those things with. I hope I get to meet him. Grandad would like that he is making you smile.

Gran looked at me, 'your grandad would be very proud of you, young lady, you remind me so much of him and your mum god rest her soul.'

The sheer mention of my mum at times just made me feel like I couldn't breathe. I missed her so much, they say the good ones die young, that is certainly true of my mum.

I am going to get another drink Gran and excused myself, I was stood at the bar when my phone went off.

'Beca, I am so unsure of giving him that chance. I feel so confused about everything. Just want my children to be safe and happy. Anything I want comes after that! He just tried to kiss me after telling me he misses having sex with me. I mean WTF…. Sorry to message you. Xx'

I sat at my breakfast bar after I sent that message to Beca. I ran my hands through my hair and sat watching my beautiful children playing and doing homework. They filled my house with laughter and love. I am so proud of them. What was I putting them through?

Beca picked her phone up and glanced across the message she had received from Chloe. For some reason, she suddenly felt this rush of emotions, she didn't know if it was jealousy of Thomas being that close to Chloe or whether it was anger for basically just wanting to get his way with her.

All that she knew was that for some unknown reason she felt she needed to protect Chloe and to be there for her. Beca typed a reply.

' what is confusing you? If I were to say money is no option to anything and you can do what you wish what would you choose? Would it be a life with Thomas and your children or would if be something totally different? Never apologise. Told you that's what friends are for. Xx'

So Gran what desserts does this place do? Beca smiled at Grace who rolled her eyes, while handing the menu to Beca. 'Rebeca, I have no idea where you put it all!'

Chloe's phone vibrated on the sofa. She quickly read the message Beca had sent and her stomach dropped. The answer, it would be away from Thomas. Chloe message back 'I don't love Thomas anymore. I want the children and I to have our own place our own adventure Xx'

I bathed Patrick and Niamh got them ready for bed and read stories. Patrick asked why we were weren't going to see Granny Grace. 'We can't tonight buddy she has go in to the town with Beca for her tea in the pub.' Thomas approached the door 'however tomorrow your real Grandad and Granny are coming to stay with you while me and mummy go away for a few days. That ok?' Patrick frowned and I stared at Thomas. 'Mummy I don't want you to not be here, I will miss you, you are always here even when granny and grandad come.'

I pulled Patrick in for a hug 'Its ok buddy everything will be ok, I promise as I ruffled his hair and gave him a kiss' Thomas moved closer to Patrick, 'I have asked granny to take you to get your hair cut tomorrow and then for ice cream, so that will be good, right?' I starred up at Thomas with anger boiling through me. Patrick started screaming 'I don't want my hair cut, I don't want to go mummy please don't get my hair cut please please' Thomas snapped at him 'Pat you cant have your hair like that you are a boy and its longer than your little sisters. Patrick was crying so hard he couldn't breathe. My heart broke seeing my little boy so upset. 'Thomas, can you leave please while I calm our son down, an just so you know he is not having his hair cut and I am not going away with you.' Thomas stormed out and slammed Patricks door. I cuddled, and kissed him telling him all the perfect things I loved about him until he fell asleep.

I then came down the stairs and I made hot chocolates, walked in to the living room and sat with Siobhan on the sofa. 'Dad went out, he was really mad' I looked down at Siobhan and grabbed her in tight for a big cuddle. 'I know he isn't happy with mummy, but do not worry about that he will cool off later.' I kissed the top of her head 'I love you all the world Siobhan, you are so special, I am very proud of the young person you are. Never change. 'So what film we watching?' Siobhan picked 13 going on 30. The film had been playing around 30 minutes when Siobhan paused the film and looked at me. 'mum can I ask you a question?' I put my drink down. 'of course, you can, go for it.'

Siobhan took a little breath in 'Are you in love with dad? And does he make you happy, because if he doesn't it is ok you know. You deserve to be happy and the only time I have seen you super smiley is over the past two days with your new friend Beca. I don't think dad is happy either. I know I am not or Patrick he says dad is mean. An Being mean is not nice and Dad never says or does things for you.' She looked up at me and wiped my tears from my face. I hadn't realised I had started to cry.

'Siobhan my beautiful baby girl, when did you become so grown up. I won't lie to you, Me and dad are a little unhappy but we have been together a very long time and we are going to see if we can fix things. I love your dad very much and he does you, Patrick and Niamh. Whatever happens between me and your dad none of it is every anything to do with You, Patrick or Niamh do you understand?' I gave her such a big hug and held her tight.

I hadn't looked at my phone for an hour or so as it had been charging. Bec had messaged me back. I opened it up and it simply read-'You can do anything you want, be happy. If you are happy your children will thrive, its hard but you have me and Grace. Xx'

This made me feel warm inside, she really was the sweetheart Grace had said she was.

Siobhan cuddled in to me as we watched the rest of the film together and fell asleep on the sofa. I was woken by a crashing sound coming from the front of the house.

I jumped up and went to the front door. Thomas stood there the most drunk I have seen him, stood behind him were Grace and Beca.

Thomas looked at me 'Clo lets go away, let's forget all this crap, let's get back to what we used to be like before all of this.' He pointed to the house. I rolled my eyes 'Thomas get in an to bed.'

At this point Thomas walked up close to Chloe 'Thought you'd never ask' he gave Chloe a wink and attempted to kiss her. Chloe pushed him away with some force 'Oi get off me and get to bed, you at times Thomas are a disgrace. Just so you know you will be going Barcelona by yourself. You are so not the guy I fell in love with' Thomas stood leaning on the sideboard. He looked at Chloe 'Well you know what you aint the girl I fell in love with either, you don't even let me near you, no wonder I went somewhere else.' Chloe took in a deep breath. She looked at Grace.

Grace moved towards Beca. 'Rebeca, tell Chloe to get the children and that she can stay at mine for the evening, I am not taking no for an answer. You support her and leave Thomas to me.'

Beca moved forward, she took Chloe's hand in hers and walked her into the living room.

Siobhan was sat eyes wide open on the sofa. She caught Beca's eyeline. Beca dropped Chloe's hand and moved towards Siobhan. She knelt in front of her. Siobhan was crying. Beca wiped her tears from her face. 'Siobhan do you think you could go and wake your brother and sister and get them to come down stairs for me please? Thought be good idea if we all stayed at Graces.'

Siobhan nodded to Beca and left the room to get her brother and sister.

I walked over to Chloe. 'Chloe you and the children are going to spend the night at Graces ok? Siobhan has gone to get them. You ok?' Beca did something she never did with people she didn't know, she took a breath and pulled Chloe into a hug. 'Beca, I cant do this anymore, im tired of fighting and tired of not feeling like I am enough.' Beca felt a tear land on her neck from Chloe. She pulled away as she heard Graces voice boom out of the kitchen.

Choe jumped as Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh ran towards her. Patrick held Chloe's hand.

They all heard Grace. 'Thomas I suggest before you lose your family and everything you have worked for, that you quit this one person pitty party, stop behaving like a total idiot and you let Chloe take the children to mine and you sleep all of this off. Then tomorrow, me and Beca will mind the children while you and your wife sort all of this out properly. Now get to bed' She came through the door. 'Right girls and little ones, get off to mine. There is hot chocolate in the cupboard and there is baked cookies in the drawer.' She gave the children massive smiles and hugs.

Gran gave me a wink as I walked passed her. I looked up in her direction 'Will you be ok Gran?' She let out a laugh 'of course I will be alright he can just about breath, Chloe love be here tomorrow for 10am your husband has some apologises for you' Chloe just looked up and smiled 'Thank You Grace'

I held Chloe's hand until we got into Grans. 'right you sort the hot chocolates out Chloe and me and Siobhan will sort our sleeping out.'

Me and Siobhan got some bed sheets and using some of the chair we managed to get the space to look like a tent inside. 'Wow Beca its like we are camping' Siobhan seemed so excited she looked at me 'Thank you, you know what's ace, my mum has smiled more since she became friends with you that I have ever seen her. Its well cool, she will love this tent.'

Niamh came running in shouting 'WOW camping in the house, I want to lie here. ' Niamh parked herself inside the makeshift tent as the others arrived. Patrick ran and jumped into it, 'this is awesome, wow, mum look a tent!' Chloe smiled and looked at me while mouthing 'Thank You'

'Right my beautiful children lets get comfy, drink our hot chocolate and then' Chloe went quiet as she looked at her children as they all looked back looking so innocent I jumped in before she became upset 'Well I thought we could watch inside out, that always seems pretty cool and I have never seen it,'

Siobhan looked at me and at the same time as Chloe shouted 'WHAT! You have never seen it?' I started laughing, 'erm no, didn't realise I was the law.' Niamh looked at me 'You have to see it. It is the best' I picked Niamh up and placed her on my knee 'well it must be then if you say it is' I am not natural with children at all but I could tell Chloe really needed this. They hit play on the dvd. Before I knew it, there are 3 fast asleep children and Chloe was just staring at the screen. 'You ok Chloe, daft question I know' Chloe moved a little closer to me, she looked up at me 'Beca I know this will sound so bizarre so feel free to say no. Will you hold me? I looked in to her eyes. 'Fuck' I thought. This was against everything I did, I never found this stuff comfortable, but how could I say no. 'Of course, come here. She moved into me and although the film hadn't finished I turned it off. Just mild lighting was turned on and the place looked awesome. Chloe never said anything, she just stayed where she was, she fell asleep about 3am, She looked so peaceful. I moved away and let them sleep together. I left Chloe a note saying I would be on the sofa. I didn't think it was right I encroached on their space, especially now and considering I didn't know them that long.

I climbed on the sofa and text my Gran. 'Here's me coming over for a break, somehow that isn't happening, you ok? I am just about to get my head down. Beca xx' my phone beeped and my gran replied. 'All safe and sound the idiot is fast asleep, that is what I am going to do, you should too. Everything happens for a reason Rebeca, J Sleep tight. Xx'

I smiled and placed my head on the pillow, tomorrow was going to be a emotional one for Chloe and the Children.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

'Hello, Chloe, Thomas you guys up' Sofia and Ron walked into the living room.

They both looked confused. 'why hello Grace, how are you? What are you doing here?' I stood up and looked at Sofia and Ron and wasn't sure if they knew what had been going on.

'I am not quite sure how to say this, but I am here and Chloe and the children are next door. Thomas had a drunken night and things got out of hand.' Ron looked at Grace 'let's get the kettle on, I assume my son is in not fit state still?' Sofia sat down 'Grace be honest, just tell us what's going on. Chloe ok? The children?'

I sat at the table, drinks made. 'well it would appear Thomas and Chloe haven't been very happy for some time. I think the two affairs Thomas has had just cut too deep with her, I mean the first one I think she got her head around but the second.' I noticed the looks on their faces and Sofia had a tear down her face. She looked at me 'Affairs? Thomas? When?' I closed my eyes 'Shit'

I bit my lip and looked at Sofia. 'I won't go into detail but Thomas had two affairs, one lasted 6months before Chloe found out and the other was 3months. They worked them out, however Chloe was never the same. Neither was Thomas. His relationship with her is non-existent and he has quite a fractured relationship with the children. Especially Siobhan she doesn't like to be around him. He started drinking quite a lot and being very derogatory to Chloe an I think Siobhan has picked up on this. So yesterday I gather they had a disagreement in the morning. Chloe wouldn't go into detail. Then last night she explained that she didn't wish to go away with him after he caused Patrick to be so upset and distressed about his hair cut that she told Thomas to get stuffed. She told him she didn't want to be so far away from the children and she would of preferred to book something so she knew where she was off too, anyhow a row went off and then Thomas hit town got very drunk and then me and Beca my granddaughter had to help Thomas get in, when we did well it all kicked off. Chloe became very distressed. That is why I am here and she is in mine. She is due back at 10am to talk with him.' Sofia and Ron looked so in shock. Sofia looked at him 'Ron we need to sort him out, poor Chloe, I think you should go and see her, she has always spoken with you, and I think my boy needs to hear some hard truths from his mother, I think if you speak with him he may explode' Ron stood up, kissed his wife on the top of the head. 'Grace do you have your key for next door or should I just ring?'

I stood up and handed him my key. 'knock first then this it will let you in.'

Ron walked along the gravel path to the front door. He knocked twice loudly, Beca appeared at the door unaware of who this man was. Ron looked right at her. 'you must be Beca, Graces Granddaughter? I am Ron, Thomas's dad. I have just spoke with your gran she told me I could find Chloe here, can I speak to her please?'

I moved away from the door and invited him in. 'chloe is asleep in the living room with the kids, il go and get her.' Ron nodded and sat down at the table. 'Beca, try not to wake the children and if they do wake could you take care of them until I have spoken with Chloe please?'

I nodded back nervously, 'Of course'

I walked in to the living room they all looked so peaceful and cute. I knelt towards Chloe. I placed my hand on her shoulder as quietly saying her name. she started to stir. 'chloe, Ron is here says he wants to talk to you.' She sat up rubbing her eyes and letting out a small yawn. 'oh great, il be through in a sec.' she didn't sound too impressed. With that I waked back in to the living area and put the kettle on. Moments later Chloe came out. She looked so adorable, Jesus Mitchell sort it. I took my coffee and left the room. I sat in the conservatory looking out on to the endless countryside. I hope their conversation goes ok, not sure Chloe can take much more. I heard he talk to Ron, so I put my headphones on so I didn't pry.

'Hiya Ron.' I gave him a big hug and he held me so tight. 'Oh Chloe love you ok, I heard what has been going on. I am so sorry for Thomas's behaviour.' I started to well up and could feel a huge waterfall behind my eyes. Ron had always been like a dad to me, he was great and I adored him. I couldn't help it everything over the past two years tumbled out and I just sobbed.

After about 2 hours, Ron looked at me and sighed, 'Chloe love what do you want to do, if I said you can have anything what would it be? An be honest' I was fiddling with the bottom of my top and I bit my lip before taking a deep breath and sighing. 'as much as this hurts me to say Ron, I want my own place with the children, I want to remember who I am, I want to go back to work and more than anything I want to feel worth something. I adore Thomas have done for years and years, but the day he cheated on me something changed, and I never had the courage to do anything about it, and I didn't want to lose everything, you are all the family I have. ' I felt so many tears falling down my face. 'I am sorry that it isn't anything else' Ron looked at me wiping his own tears from his face. He placed his hands on either side of my face 'Chloe you will always always be out family, I am so so sorry for my sons behaviour, but if that is what you want then please be honest with Thomas and go and do it. We will still always be here for you and our grandchildren and il make sure Thomas rebuilds his relationship with his children in the right way. Don't stay with him if you don't love him in that way anymore, your children will never thank you. I am very proud of you Chloe.'

I couldn't breathe I was crying that much, Ron had his arms wrapped round me tight as he kissed the top of my head. I could hear noises from the next room. I smiled as I heard Patrick shouting 'WOW you are rich' Ron and I stood up, 'right I am going back next door, come through when you are ready ok.' I smiled at him 'Thank You, I will be about ten minutes' Ron managed to get by without the children seeing him which I think was a good thing.

I walked into the conservatory. Beca was sat there with Patrick, Siobhan and Niamh. They were all looking at her ipad laughing asking a lot of questions.

'mum!' shouted Patrick 'Beca is rich, she has a very very big house' I walked up to him gave him a big squeeze, 'really?' I looked at Beca 'Well no I am not rich but I do have a lovely home even if I do say so myself.' Siobhan started laughing 'Mum she isn't just rich she is like mega rich! She knows Katy Perry!' Beca rolled her eyes and smiled. 'Beca can I have a quick word in the kitchen?'

I walked toward the door. Beca followed behind.

I turned around and took a deep breath. 'I am going to see Thomas in a minute, to tell him I want a divorce. I love him but not in the way I should do and it is hurting my children. If I ask Grace to come back in would you and her be able to look after the kids for me?' Beca looked at me and placed her hand in mine, the weird thing was I felt like a surge of electricity as she did. It was very strange. Either way I felt calm about what I was about to do and wasn't scared. I was so heartbroken but I knew it needed to be done.

I looked at Chloe as I continued to hold her hand. I didn't want to let go, what was all that about?! 'Of course, we will, stupid question I know, but you ok?' Chloe wiped a tear away. 'I will be, I just don't want the children to be messed up. Ron said he is going to take Thomas on the trip to Barcelona, to sort him out and get him some headspace. I don't want to hate him. I have loved him for so long and he and his family along with Grace are all I have. I just want us all to be happy and that will only happen if we are apart.' I dropped her hand and pulled her in to a hug, all of this was so not me, I didn't do touching but I just wanted to hold her so she knew it would be ok. 'Chloe, everything will work out I know it will. Now I am sure your children have a million questions to still ask me! So I will get back to them and you get off. Tonight, if you want to just light a fire outside and play some music I will pick up some kindling and some wine.'

She placed her hand on my left shoulder and kissed me on the cheek, that sounds perfect.' I smiled at her 'that's what friends are for' She popped into the conservatory gave out some mum hugs and smothered each of her children in kisses before telling them how much she loved them. She then glanced at what they had been looking at on my ipad. she explained she was off to talk to daddy. As she left and walked past me, she turned around 'by the way, you live in a mansion.' I giggled and shouted back 'I wish' She smiled and left.

I walked into the kitchen made up some drinks, got myself a coffee and walked back to what felt like a press conference. I had never been around children by myself especially not three all at once. However, there was something so nice about being in their company. I could see why Jesse had wanted us to have children, I just never thought it was something I ever wanted. However, seeing how Chloe was with them all and knowing all their little traits and just seeing something in her eyes when she was around them made me realise being a mum must be pretty magic.

I was thrown out of my thoughts by Niamh 'Bec-a, do you have any friends who have a pool? If you do would they let me go swimming?' Patrick started laughing 'Niamh we would have to get on a plane to go' Siobhan giggled, 'Yeah and we have never been on one, what is it like?'

I took a sip of my coffee 'Well it's a bit boring to be honest, though you get to watch lots of tv, eat loads of food and sleep.' Patrick looked at me 'that's ace' before flicking back through my Ipad.

I wondered how Chloe was getting on, just as Gran came through the door. 'right whats all this giggling? And why am I not part of it?' Gran walked passed me and gave me a kiss on the cheek before nearly being rugby tackled by Chloe's little brood. 'granny Grace!'

As I walked up the gravel path to my house, mine and Thomas's home, what we had worked so hard for, I couldn't help but feel sorrow. As entered I saw Ron who immediate stood up and gave me a reassuring hug, Sofia stood up and wiped a tear from my cheek, she gave me such a hug and a kiss on my cheek. As she moved away Thomas was sat at the table looking like a ghost of himself.

I walked over to him as I got closer to him, he stood up and our arms wrapped around each other and I just sobbed as did he. He kept saying 'Chloe I am so sorry, I am so sorry for hurting you so much' At this point I pulled away, I hadn't noticed that Ron and Sofia had left. He looked so empty and so sad, like the most vulnerable I had ever seen him.

'Chloe, before you say anything I want you to know that, I am so sorry for everything I have put you through, I am so sorry for kissing other women and for even having sex with the two I have and for doing that and then coming home to you, I was so selfish and so scared. I guess I behaved like a absolute idiot in the hope you would tell me you didn't want to be with me anymore. I always knew there would be a point when I wasn't good enough anymore, and the older our children got the more scared I became that you would find somebody better and you would leave, then I became so unhappy, and everything spiralled and before I knew It I was drunk and the thought of just having something where there was no emotion took over and then I just couldn't get enough of it, I felt free.'

He took a deep breath 'not that I ever felt trapped, I just knew when our relationship lost its physical side that a apart of us was dying. I started seeing you not as my beautiful wife but as my beautiful best friend and I knew everything I always thought would happen was on its way, I just accelerated it to lessen the pain. Well that didn't work and I hurt you and our children while turning into a monster.'

I wiped my eyes from tears. 'Thomas you aren't a monster, I haven't been perfect either, I never had a thought that I would ever not be you wife, I have never looked at anybody else the whole time we have been together and so I wish you would of talked to me back then and I could of reassured you so none of this needed to happen. However I think we both know this is not working for either of us anymore, or our children. I don't want to argue and fight with you, despite what you think of yourself, you are not some horror person, don't get me wrong you have hurt me but i will deal with that in my own way. I want you to remain my best friend but that will take time. What I don't want is for our break up to affect our children. They are innocent and they don't deserve that. I don't want to be those parents who slate each other and who make their children choose, I want them to see how much we love them. Siobhan already has opinions that's to things she's heard us saying. I will always always love you, you have made my life amazing and I want you to be happy. An I want to be happy too.'

We held each other and cried so much. 'Dad said he is comin away with me, so I can have sometime away. When I come back do you want to sit down and sort everything out? I mean I will move into mum and dads for a little while and get my head sorted before I find somewhere to live, I don't want the children to move.' I looked up at him and I think the emotion got the better of me and we shared a kiss, it was a different type of kiss, it felt strange like it was the last time. I pulled away 'Thank you' he looked at me took a deep breath wiped his eyes 'Love you always Chlo, what shall we tell the children?' The two of us fell silent. This shit just got real. 'I think we tell them together, let's be really honest with them. Do you mind if we do it when I get back, just don't want them to see me like this when we tell them' I could totally see what he meant 'I agree, Now go and get yourself sorted to catch your flight, Please let me know you got there safe'

We stood up and held each other for such a long time. All I could hear over the back fence was laughing from our children. 'Thomas you hear them laughing?' he swallowed hard 'yeah they are amazing, we did a good job right? It wasn't easy but I would change any of it, having children with you was a dream. Now go have a good day with them and I will see you when I get back.' He kissed me on the head. 'you not coming to see them before you leave?' He looked at me full of sadness in his eyes. 'no Chloe they don't need to see me like this, they need their dad back not this person. I will spend time with them when I get back. Maybe they could come stay with me, mum and dad for a few days?' As much as not seeing my children killed me I knew he needed that, I knew they needed that. 'of course, I think that sounds like a great idea.' He walked towards the stairs, 'thank you'

'I am going to have a shower and go back next door is that ok?' he looked back 'Chloe you can do what you like, you are a free woman, not that you ever needed my permission anyway, give them a hug and kiss for me. I will make a drink while you are getting sorted then so I am not in your way'

With that I walked upstairs and entered the shower room. I stood naked and the water cascaded all over me, I couldn't cry anymore I was cried out. What was strange though was I kept thinking of hearing the children laugh and hearing Beca laughing I wanted tonight to come quicker, just me and her music, camp fire and wine, I was excited. This was so wrong, what even was it, why did she make me feel like I wasn't alone. These thoughts have me up the wall.

I got myself sorted, dressed and headed out of the door, it was a weird feeling walking out feeling like a ton of pressure had been lifted. As I had left I had seen Sofia and Ron and she said while Ron and Thomas were away she would organise for some decorators to come into her house and sort it so the children had two bed rooms for staying and that they would be comfortable and safe while they rebuilt their relationship with Thomas. We had hugged and said I would see them in a few days.

I walked in to Grace's and I could hear Grace on the piano and Beca and the children singing. 'Hey you lot, what is going on?'

My stomach flipped, I wasn't expecting Chloe back here until tonight. What even was this stomach flip about? She looked different. Shit she didn't have her rings on.

'Chloe I was wondering If I could take these three off your hands today? What do you think kids, a granny grace day? Should we kick mummy and Beca out of the way for the day?'

Me and Chloe looked at each other as all three shouted 'Yes' I thought Niamh and Patrick were going to have a heart attack from being so excited! I looked at Chloe and smiled 'that ok with you? Il have to grab a shower before we go anywhere? If you want to that is?' Chloe walked to make a drink, 'yeah sounds great I will have a drink and catch up with the kids while you get ready, do you fancy going to Dublin for the afternoon? Would that be ok Grace? Just feel like getting out for a bit.'

Gran looked at me and Chloe, 'you two go and do whatever you like me and Siobhan have these monkey under control, don't we? Siobhan looked and giggled 'yep, but where is dad mum?'

I walked off to the bathroom to get ready as Chloe moved to sit next to Siobhan.

'well dad has been a little tired recently so Grandad is taking Dad on holiday for a few days to make him feel better is that ok?' Siobhan squeezed me so hard. 'I love you mum' I pulled her in closer. 'not as much as I love you'

We spent the next half an hour so looking at all of Beca's pictures and Grace filled me in on how successful Beca actually was, but how she didn't like people knowing, but she didn't think she would mind her telling me. I couldn't believe it when she was telling me, I mean after the other day I knew she must have been good but wow she was stupidly famous in the music background, An here was me Chloe no job.

At that moment Beca walked in she was wearing some washed out navy ripped skinny jeans a grey loose t-shirt and a black biker jacket. Her hair was down and she was putting some black boots on. My stomach suddenly felt like there was a zoo in there. What was that an why did it keep happening when Beca was around? I looked up and caught Grace in eye contact, she smiled and continued to colour in with Niamh. I smiled back placed my cup in the sink and walked towards Beca. 'Ready?'

'Indeed, your car or mine Bec?' she placed her hair behind her ear and smiled, 'I ordered an uber, hope you don't mind? Just thought that way if we wanted to have a drink we could? But we can take the car if you prefer?'

Grace shouted out before I had chance to reply 'That sounds like a bloody good idea! And uber if back too' I laughed at Grace and looked at Beca 'Isn't it stupidly expensive though even just one way?' Patrick shouted to me 'Mum it doesn't matter Beca is rich, shes got loads of money' We all laughed. Beca bent down so she was at Patricks height, 'young man I am not rich not at all, Infact you are richer than me. Shall I tell you why?' Patrick nodded. 'Well you see sometimes being rich doesn't involve having money. You have two sisters yes?' Patrick nodded 'You also have a beautiful, funny, clever, caring mum who loves you right?' Patrick nodded again with a quizzical look on his face. While Chloe tried to hide how red she just felt her face go 'well I don't have any of that' Beca explained, I have my Gran and a house in America and that is it. I would sell my house right now if it meant I could have what you do.' So, having a little bit of money and a big house doesn't mean I am rich. Patrick stood there thinking, he looked at Me, Grace, his sisters and then back at Beca. 'but you have us too now, so does that mean you are super rich? Wow.' Beca shook her head and laughed 'You Patrick melt my stoney heart' and gave his hair a ruffle.

'Chloe you ready? Ive a message to say the car is here.' I walked over to Gran while Chloe was saying bye to the kids. 'Have a wonderful time Rebeca' and Gran winked at me. 'I am sure we will Grace' Chloe piped in.

We jumped in the back of the Uber and Chloe looked at me, 'Thank You for this, I don't think I could of coped if I'd of stayed in. Thomas and I are going to speak to the children when he gets back.'

I placed my hand on Chloe's thigh. 'Come on lets focus on enjoying today, you have time later to reflect right? Plus your smile is much more attractive than your frown'. Jesus fucking Christ what did I just say? Out loud! Omg omg, I just moved my hand and looked out the window without looking back at Chloe. However, I felt a bolt of electricity go through me as her hand touched mine, she placed it back to where It had been resting. I looked up 'For the record and to even things out, your smile is better than your frown too' she smiled and I went red. 'erm thanks'

The rest of the journey we sat in a comfortable silence. I needed to speak to Gran about this weird vibe rush type thing I was getting around Chloe is was messing with my head.

We were dropped off on O'Connell street and decided that coffee and some food was a must. We grabbed a table at The Bakehouse and chatted about anything and everything, from childhood to work, families etc. We spent some time going around the shops and Chloe bought a Tee and some perfume. I have no idea why but when she asked if I minded if she popped into Victoria Secrets as she needed some new pjs I suddenly became really shy. As we walked around I picked up some underwear and Chloe did the same, It felt really strange though as all I could think about was how amazing she would look in it. I mean what is going on. As we walked out Chloe linked her arm in mine. 'do you fancy just going to a few bars and having some drinks? I still fancy the fire tonight if you still fancy it?' I swallowed hard 'yeah that sounds awesome' she smiled at me and pushed into my shoulders 'Come on lets be tourists and hit temple barr and get robbed for drinks' we both started laughing and hit the nearest bar.

Beca had gone off to the toilet and I had reordered drinks, I was already feeling a bit tipsy but really needed this. Especially as I had just received a message from Thomas to say he had arrived safely. I needed these drinks everything had been great since we arrived in the city until we had hit Victoria secrets and then Beca had become really shy. I mean she bought a few really nice pieces of underwear which I am sure would look amazing on her, as that thought passed through my head so did a urge that I hadn't felt for a very long time, an it scared me, shit, why did I want t see Beca in her underwear? What was that even about and why did this keep happening, these thoughts about her. Really I had only known her a few days and already felt like I had known her all my life. It was so easy so comfortable, funny. I was interrupted from my thoughts as Beca returned. 'Omg Red no more drinks I will be so drunk, I wont be able to light this fire.' We sat laughing and became so relaxed around each other the more alcohol that hit our veins. I looked at my phone and seen it was 11pm. We had been out for some time and Gran had txt saying she hoped we were having a great time but she was off to bed.

'Beca ring our uber I want to go back to the fire' I laughed and arranged for us to be picked up.

We were singing most of the way back n the car, laughing and talking utter rubbish about music. When we arrived back at Grans we grabbed the whiskey and firelighters and sat on the porch. I lit the fire and Chloe grabbed a few throws. We had got changed in to our pjs. Chloe took a sip of her whiskey and was looking at me intently. 'Whats going on in that head of yours Clo?' she smiled and moved a little forward, 'why did you become really quiet in Victoria Secrets today? Its like you changed why?' I took a massive mouthful of my whiskey. Looked at her and thought Fuck. 'Erm I don't remember' she looked at me and laughed 'bullshit Beca I will keep bringing it up until you say something.' Chloe had moved closer to me 'Tell me' she whispered into my ear and I wanted to explode, I started to panic and I could feel it getting the better of me. 'Chloe it doesn't matter ok, maybe I just needed a minute'

Beca stood up and walked over to the fence, she was looking out onto the countryside. She picked up Grace's guitar and started to strum a tune. I figured what it was instantly. She started to sing, she had her back to me…

'It isn't very difficult to see why  
You are the way you are  
Doesn't take a genius to realize  
That life is sometimes hard  
It's gonna take time  
But you'll just have to wait  
You're gonna be fine  
But in the meantime

Come over here lady  
Let me wipe your tears away  
Come a little nearer baby  
Cause you'll heal over  
Heal over  
Heal over someday

And I don't wanna hear you tell yourself  
That these feelings are in the past  
You know it doesn't mean they're off the shelf  
Because pain is built to last  
Everybody sails alone  
But we can travel side by side  
Even if you fail  
You know that no one really minds

Come over here lady  
Let me wipe your tears away  
Come a little nearer baby  
Cause you'll heal over  
Heal over  
Heal over someday

Don't hold on but don't let go  
I know it's so hard  
You've got to try to trust yourself  
I know it's so hard, so hard

Come over here lady  
Let me wipe your tears away  
Come a little nearer baby  
Cause you'll heal over  
Heal over  
Heal over someday

Yeah you're gonna heal over..

As she played the last note, she turned around. She looked at me and bit her lip. 'I am going to go to bed, I think I have drank too much and don't want to make a tit of myself, more than I already have. I stood up and walked towards her before she had the chance to get near to the conservatory door and back in to the house. As I got closer to her she seemed to panic. 'Beca just come here for a minute, please.' She was looking at the floor. 'Beca look at me' She looked up. At that moment I have no idea why but I just wanted to kiss her I mean who was I kidding I ahd wanted to kiss her pretty much since the night I met her, it was insane and I had never liked women before but I wanted too. I leaned in and I pulled her closer to me, I placed my hand in her hair and tucked it behind her ear, I then rubbed my thumb along her cheek before I allowed my lips to touch hers and we kissed. It was the gentlest kiss I ever have had, as I pulled away she looked at me and lent into me and we kissed again. It was insane the electricity that went through my body like what on earth have I been missing out on, what was this, literally my marriage broke down this morning and here I am kissing the neighbours granddaughter hours after.

I pulled away from Chloe's kiss and I smiled at her. 'shit I am so sorry Chloe I took total advantage, you and Thomas only broke up this morning and here's me just messing everything up, I am sorry just forget about it. I am going to head to bed. I am sorry.' As I approached the doors I looked around and Chloe was running her fingers across her lips. 'Beca what if I didn't want you to say sorry and what if I liked it. What if I wanted you to come back so we could erm do that again.'


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I stood at the conservatory doors. I took a deep breath and turned around and walked back towards Chloe. I have never felt so scared so excited so confused in my whole life. She never took her gaze off me. I had no idea what I was going to do, I knew what I wanted to do but I knew I couldn't. I took Chloe's hand and we sat on the swing bench, the fire was crackling away, the glow lighting up Chloe's face in such a way that I found myself staring at how beautiful she was. I took a deep breath and began to fiddle with my hands. 'Chloe, that was the most beautiful kiss I have ever had, and I could easily lean in to you right now and do that all over again. However, I don't think I would want to stop. That wouldn't be right. I respect you too much. You are not in the right place and neither am I, I have no idea what is going on. I have known you a few days and it is like I have known you my whole life, It is like I am drunk on you, I feel like a teenager with a crush. I have never found women attractive and I can't stop thinking about you in a way that a friend shouldn't and that isn't right. Whatever this is between us well if it is to be then it will happen in the right way and it won't be fuelled by whiskey'

I looked up, Chloe had a tear falling down her face. Shit what have I done? Mitchell, you are an idiot.

'Beca, thank you. Thank you for your honesty. Thank You for not taking advantage. I feel the same way, you have me all over the place, I feel like I am 14 again, I just want to be around you. I have no idea where my head is at but I just know in the few days I have spent around you have been the best few days I have had in years. I mean Jesus today my entire world is about to change as is my children's yet all I can think about is the fact that, I want to feel your touch, hear your voice, to look into your eyes, my god listen to me it's so cringe like. Sorry' I placed my hands into my hair and took a deep breath.

Beca placed her hands-on mine, she was shaking, she entwined my hands in hers on the top of my thighs. She smiled, 'Let's not complicate this, don't apologise for your feelings and I won't apologise about mine. Let's always talk, even if it is embarrassing, let's make sure we talk about what we are feeling. We can take each day as it comes, for now, its stupidly late, we need sleep and I am sure Gran and your three will have us up early. '

I smiled at Beca, she was right. 'ok, but I really want to sleep out here under these amazing stars, just makes me feel alive.' I stood up as did she, I placed the swing cushion on the floor near the fire and grabbed a throw and some cushions. I lay down. Before I knew it Beca lay next to me, she turned so we were facing each other. She bit her lip, and placed a piece of my hair behind my ear. 'I know I have just spent the past few moments talking about not over complicating things, but would you mind if I kissed you, goodnight?' I giggled, and became a little shy. 'I would really like that' I bit my lip and my stomach was in bits as I felt Beca's lips touch mine, it was the sweetest most gentle kiss I have ever had. I smiled mid kiss as did she. It was like I had just had my first kiss all over again. She pulled away and as I opened my eyes she was looking at me with such a shy smile on her face. 'your eyes are so blue' I found myself telling her. She chuckled and replied with 'your eyes are so blue too' I smirked and took her hand. 'This should have been the worst day of my life. However, it has ended up being the start of a new chapter. Thank You, and good night' I squeezed her hand 'sweet dreams Clo'

I closed my eyes and I don't remember falling asleep. I woke up due to feeling cold, I looked at my phone and it was 5.30am. No need body clock no need. I looked across from me as Chloe stirred, I placed the throw over her as I got up. Jesus my head was pounding. Chloe looked so cute all snuggled up. I ran my hands through my hair thinking back to last night. What on earth happened. My anxiety went through the roof, as I replayed it all in my head. I needed some head space. I don't know what made me do it but I crouched down and kissed the top of her head. Her shampoo smelt so sweet. It made me smile as I breathed her in. It was weird just doing that started to calm my mind. I stood up and walked back into Grans. I walked into the kitchen and near jumped out of my skin as Gran was stood there. She handed me a coffee. She looked at me. 'so anything to share Rebeca?' I swallowed hard. 'Erm nope, other than I feel like I have been hit by a bus, bloody whiskey.' Gran looked at me, and ushered me to take a seat in the conservatory. 'Rebeca you are an awful liar, plus I just saw you kiss Chloe on the head before you headed in, explain'

I took a deep breath. How on earth was I going to say what I needed too. I had been with Jesse for so long, never had female partners, omg I still don't have a female partner, what if Gran didn't understand. I sat there with all this whizzing around my mind. 'Rebeca, talk to me, whatever you tell me is ok you know.' I took a sip of my coffee and bit my lip. 'I have no idea how or why but I have all these mad feelings for Chloe, from the second I met her this cheesy big firework went off and I haven't been able to concentrate since. Yesterday we were having an amazing time and then all these thoughts came in to my head and I went quiet, she asked me about it last night. I told her how I felt and we shared a kiss. I instantly apologised for over stepping the mark. I walked away, feeling like such an idiot. However, turns out Chloe wanted to tell me a few things too. She has been feeling the same way as me Gran and what am I going to do?'

Gran put her drink down. 'Firstly, come here so I can hug you' Gran held me so tight. 'Rebeca there is nothing you can do about feelings my beautiful girl. However, both you and Chloe have lots of things to deal with. You are both coming out of long term Marriages. Her more recent than you and then she has children to organise too. The only advice I will give you is to take each day as it comes, talk to each other all the time and be honest. I mean your lives are so different. You have just over 3 weeks here until you go back home, you came to relax so do that. Don't spend your time here fretting about something only the universe can control.'

'I love you Gran, so much. Thank You, for being you.' My gran kissed the top of my head 'No love thank you for being you, now go to bed. I cannot deal with you when you have had less than 8 hours.' Gran gave me a sly smirk and I walked up the stairs. As I walked towards my room I peeped in on the children to see they were ok. They all looked so cute sharing a double bed but all with different covers. I climbed in to bed and for a little while just replayed my kisses with Chloe over and over in my head. I pulled my phone out and text Jesse.

Beca-Hey weirdo, hope you are ok. Something has happened here. It's so inappropriate to talk with you about it but I feel like you are the only one I can. I kissed a girl….xx

Before I could put my headphones on, my phone vibrated.

Jesse- Wow Bec, did you like it? If you need some inspiration Katy Perry did too, she liked it btw. It isn't inappropriate, an if it made you happy and you felt butterflies that's all that matters, right? xx

I smiled, he really was awesome.

Beca-I guess me and Katy Perry have something in common then. I did, more than I realised. Feel like a school kid with a crush. However not dwelling on it. She only split from her husband yesterday and she has three children. Nothing is ever easy. Ha. Xx

Jesse- JESUS, Bec what the hell, ha, I'm guessing you kissed her after she left him and not before? Either way, so what if there is a ton of stuff in the way, if it is meant to be it will be worth it all. Don't waste time, time is precious, grab what you want and roll with it. Be happy. If you need me I am here. Xx

On that note I closed my eyes, with a smile on my face.

I woke up feeling something falling on my face, the bright light was hurting my eyes, jesus am I outside? I looked around realising I had been asleep on the decking and that on my face was rain. My god, as I stood up my head began to pound, then the realisation of last night caught up with me. I closed my eyes, bit my lip and found myself smiling like an idiot. However where was Beca? I felt my stomach drop, what if she regretted our kiss? Oh my god Chloe never mind Beca what about the husband you just broke up with, your three children, everything was all about to change and all that is going around my head is her. I picked the throws and cushions up and headed into the house. As I entered the conservatory Grace was sat there with the paper and a cup of tea. 'morning Chloe, you ok, want a coffee?' I looked at her and smiled 'erm Yeah please, have you seen Beca? I mean I think she fell asleep outside too, but she isn't around.'

Grace had her back to me, 'Yeah Beca has gone to her room love about an hour ago. Don't worry she doesn't regret your kisses, she was just cold and tired.' Grace turned around smiled at my utterly shocked face an handed me my drink. She gestured to the sofa. 'take a seat Chloe love, Beca told me everything, and I will tell you what I told her. 'Take each day as it comes, always talk and be honest. I think you both have so many things you need to do before anything happens between you, if it does. Don't forget she will return to LA in just over three weeks and you need to focus on you and your children. Then and only then is my granddaughter worth a shot.'

Everything Grace said made perfect sense. I knew it did, I mean the thought of Beca going back the states really threw me. Patrick entered the conservatory. 'mum can I have a drink please, and can we go and do something fun today, it is Saturday, can Beca come too.' I walked into the kitchen 'Patrick you don't want much do you little man. I smiled at him. How about we go on a trip to the zoo in the city?' Patrick ran at me and hugged my legs 'mum that would be so ace, Yesssss, I am going to tell the girls. 'I walked back to Grace 'well I think he is happy with that! As soon as the girls are up il take them back next door and give you and Bec sometime together.'

'it is ok Chloe there is no rush. Within minutes Siobhan and Niamh ran in 'mum we really going the zoo? Is Beca coming too?' Siobhan looked so happy, however when I told her Beca wouldn't be joining us that it was just me, her, Patrick and Niamh she seemed a little disappointed, but happy all the same. 'right kids say thank you and goodbye to Grace and let's get home so we can sort our clothes out.' I collected all their items, gave Grace a kiss on the cheek and Thanked her. We all piled out the house and back to our own. I needed this day with my children, it was us four versus the world now and I need them to know how perfect and loved they are.

I woke up, turned over to see it was 2pm. My god had I really slept that long? I could hear voices downstairs. I jumped in the shower threw on some boy fit ripped jeans and my hoodie. As I was walked down the stairs I checked my phone to see three messages from Chloe. I smiled as I opened them. The first was sent this morning.

07.45 Clo- Hey you, hope this doesn't wake you. Just wanted to say Thank You for yesterday, the evening was perfect J Grace told me you didn't regret our kiss, when I woke and you were not there I thought you may have regretted it. Off to the zoo with the children today. Have a wonderful day. Xx

11.00 Clo-You ok? You fancy coming around tonight? Xx

13.50 Chlo-Hey You, don't feel like you must come around, I don't want you thinking you have too. Spend your night with Grace. We can catch up tomorrow instead. Xx

I shook my head as I read them, I could tell Chloe was starting to panic that I hadn't replied. As I entered the living room Gran and this very dapper looking older guy were about to leave it. 'well nice to see you today young lady, this is William, William this is Rebeca.' He shook my hand and smiled at me 'Lovely to meet you Rebeca, would you mind if I borrowed your lovely Gran to go dancing this evening?' I gave him and gran a look and then with a big smile 'Not at all William get out of here! Enjoy!' With that Gran gave me a hug 'Don't wait up' she shouted as she walked out the door. 'don't worry Rebeca il have her back at a reasonable hour.' I chuckled and the door shut.

I picked up my phone and called Chloe. 'Hey you, everything ok?' I began to make a coffee, 'yeah everything is ok, sorry I didn't reply I have erm only just woke up. How's the zoo?'

'what you only just woke up? The day is half way through ha ha'

'oh an here was me saying I'll come round tonight but I think I'll stay in now and erm wash my hair.'

'Whatever, Patrick said if you don't come around then he will water bomb you' ha ha

'well you tell Patrick he best have helpers because he would never win water bombing me 1 v 1, what time do you want me? Chloe smirked I could tell even though she was on the phone

'say 7.30ish? kids are normally in bed by 9pm and maybe we could put some music on an you could tell me a bit about this job you have.'

'Sounds like a plan, and just throwing it out there, anytime would have been my thought to that question too. Dirty Bird. see you in a bit'

Soon as I got off the phone I shot Chloe a message.

14.50 Beca-Can't wait to see you later. Xx

I read Beca's message and tried to calm down, this teenager type feeling around her needs to go away. I was broken out of my thoughts by Siobhan 'Mum where is your wedding ring?'


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I looked down into Siobhan's eyes, they were so beautiful and innocent, I knew she had a fractured relationship with Thomas but he loved her so much, right now though she was giving me a look that spelt out tell me the truth. I took a breath. 'how about we enjoy the rest of our day and when Patrick and Niamh go to bed me and you can talk? I promise I will answer any questions honestly ok?' I leant down and gave her a kiss on the top of the head. 'ok, can it just be us, nobody else?' I smiled down at her 'of course beautiful girl' we left the zoo not long after that and played around in Phoenix Park for around a hour. I was sat on a bench just watching all three playing away and I was taking some more pictures. I opened my messages and sent a photo to Thomas of the children at the zoo laughing and told him they missed him. A small tear fell down my face as I did so. My mind drifted away thinking about him. I felt so sad what had happened to us and how could I be finding somebody else attractive, how could I have kissed somebody so soon, what was I doing. Niamh came running over crying 'mummy mummy Patrick hit me hard in my arm, its sore, I want daddy, mummy I want daddy.' Niamh had always been a daddys girl I wiped her tears from her face, kissed her arm better. 'niamh daddy is on holiday with grandad, but should we see if he wants to facetime us before bed? Niamh gave me a massive smile 'yes yes yes' Patrick and Siobhan came walking over, 'Patrick, tonight you are not having any video games, how many times do I tell you to not hit your little sister.' Patrick looked at me with such an angry face. 'I didn't even do anything, she is a wimp'

I started to walk back towards the car 'Anymore talk like that from you and you will have no video games all week.' He was walking behind me 'Like I care anyway' Siobhan turned around 'Patrick shut up, you do every bodies head in' I took a deep breath in 'Right all of you be quiet otherwise we wont get any pizza on the way home.

We arrived home and everybody ran in, both Niamh and Patrick had fallen asleep on the way back but they had soon woken up when we stopped for pizza. I walked into the house, dumped all our stuff on the kitchen table. Siobhan went off to have a shower while I gave Niamh a bath ad Patrick played with his Lego before he had a shower too. I looked at my phone and I had a message from Beca and one from Thomas.

Thomas-Hey Clo, thank you so much for the picture the children look like they had a blast, facetime would be great say 7.30? hope you are ok. Xx

It was nearly 7.30 so I did not read the message from Beca and I got all the children together with the ipad and we called Thomas. I left the children to it, Patrick and Niamh were so talkative with him yet Siobhan barely said anything to him. I was organising the kitchen and remembered the message from Beca.

Beca- Hey You, what time do you want me? Xx'

I bit my lip I wanted so much to see her but talking with Siobhan was so much more important. Shit,

I sent a reply.

Chloe- Hey Bec, so sorry I will have to cancel tonight, something has cropped up with Siobhan. Sorry xx

I had been out around the local village, enjoyed a coffee and a walk around part of the reservoir. I had returned and did some baking. I was currently checking on some work emails. My phone vibrated and I smiles as I saw Chloe's name appear. I read her message and was gutted. I had spent all day waiting to see her and now I wasn't going too. I stood up and went and poured a whiskey. I had no idea why I was so moody about it, she was going through a tough time and what right did I have to be so moody about her cancelling. At this moment Gran walked in, I had heard her belly laughing outside, an then I heard her say goodnight to William.

'What's tickled you?' I said as I took a sip of my drink. 'that Patrick next door, shouting me from his bedroom window. He told me he isn't allowed any video games for a whole week, said his mum was mean an can he come live here' We were both laughing. 'yeah her certainly is something Gran' Gran put her bag down and poured herself a whiskey. 'Yeah, he is, Chloe must be up the wall, so why are you drowning your sorrows?'

I walked out on to the decking. 'I am not drowning anything.'

'Oh, moody and drinking somebody is annoyed.' I didn't want to tell Gran why I was upset, she would of give me a speech, and I knew I was being ridiculous but I had no idea why. I was frustrated with myself.

'I looked at some work emails, and I shouldn't of that's all. I baked some bread and biscuits help yourself'

Well, my moody gran child, you shouldn't have looked at any work stuff and I am off to have a bath before I read my book.'

I picked up my guitar and just sat strumming some chords, didn't know what I wanted to play.

My phone vibrated. Chloe.

The children had said goodbyes to Thomas and he told them he would see them Monday after school. I read Niamh a story and could hear Patrick shouting. I finished Niamh's book and kissed her goodnight. 'I can't wait for daddy to get back mummy I miss him' This broke my heart she was going to take this break up hard. I walked across the landing to see Patrick stood on his drawers shouting out of the window. 'Patrick get down right now. What are you doing?' he huffed and puffed as he got down. 'I was just talking to Grace and William. I told her I wanted to stay there.' I grabbed hold of him and gave him a big squeeze 'Oh Patrick you do know I love the bones of you, don't change, you give me such a headache but I wouldn't change you for the world!' He was giggling and looked at me 'I love you mum' before giving me a big kiss. 'love you more little man, now sleep'

I walked downstairs to talk with Siobhan but she was fast asleep in the chair, she looked so peaceful. I placed a throw over her and headed for a shower. I let the water fall over me and I had so many thoughts running through my head. I thought it was going to explode.

I threw a loose fitting grey tee on and some shorts, picked my phone up and messaged Beca.

I picked my phone up to read Chloe's message.

Chloe- Hey Bec, change of plan again…kids! Ha. Fancy a coffee? Xx

My face lit up and those damn butterflies popped out.

I stood up, shouted to gran that I was popping next door and left. I knocked on the door of Chloe's and within a few minutes she opened the door and greeted me with the biggest smile. 'hey come in, she had a glass of wine in her hand and looked as beautiful as id seen her. She had candles on and the house smelt like vanilla. 'Kids all in bed?' she opened the door to the living room and showed me Siobhan fast asleep. 'she wanted to talk to me tonight about why I wasn't wearing my wedding ring, I didn't want to lie so said we could talk tonight but I came down from putting the others in bed and she was fast asleep bless her. Here come and sit in my snug.'

I walked through the kitchen, and the patio doors opened out on to a covered space where there were beanbags and a wood burner. 'Chloe this house is so nice' there were pictures everywhere of the children and of her and Thomas. There was a canvas of them on their wedding day. She looked stunning and so happy. My stomach panged with guilt, I shouldn't be feeling this way towards her I should be trying to support her to work this out with Thomas.

'what is going through your head Mitchell?' I jumped out of my thoughts 'erm nothing, where this coffee?' Chloe smiled and handed me a glass of wine. 'I ran out, and I thought we were going to be honest, so spit it out.' I sat down took a sip of wine and bit my bottom lip.

'right if I am honest, then I don't want you to think I am weird or crazy. So today when you cancelled me coming around, I was gutted. I then became really frustrated with myself for being so gutted because it's not like we had made plans to do anything specific, then I was stroppy with Gran. Then when I walked in here I can see all of these photos and I mean your wedding photo my god you look so stunning and so happy an I shouldn't be putting all my focus on my feelings or whatever it is I have for you on to you I should be supporting you to fix things with Thomas and that what your children need not..' my rant was cut off by Chloe's lips on mine. We shared a short gentle kiss, she pulled away. 'Beca, you are not weird or crazy but you are talking utter shite.' She smiled and learnt in to kiss me, she ran her tongue along my bottom lip and before I knew it our kiss deepened. Her hands had moved to either side of my hips and I had my hands on either side of her face. This kiss had something behind it, it was passionate. I pulled away. 'Chlo, we need to stop' I swallowed hard 'Otherwise I will want more and that isn't appropriate' Chloe was looking at me with such a smile. She took a sip of her wine 'Beca, I had similar thoughts today and I even cried at the park watching the children.

Tonight, though as I watched Siobhan sleep I knew what I was doing was right for me and my children. I love Thomas probably more than he knows but I am not in love with him, Jesus he never made me feel anything like you do when he kissed me, even in the early days. I have no idea what you do but It's like being around you isn't enough, I must touch you, I mean I want too. My head is messed up by it all but I don't care. I want to see what happens, where we end up, I can't wait to make out with you, for you to touch me, I mean you turn me on in a way I didn't even know anybody could and it scares the shit out of me. I know we have to take it slow and there is so much happening but…' I pulled her towards me and kissed her, she pulled away and I smiled. 'it is a good job I am not a guy Chloe Beale otherwise I would struggle with you not seeing what you do to me.'

Chloe winked at me, 'Well what exactly do you mean Mitchell?'

I took a massive sip of my wine. 'You don't need me to explain, and neither of us are ready for that right now' She smiled 'Well you can't miss what you haven't been having can you?' she sighed. 'Can I ask you a really private question Bec?' I had no idea where this was going but it couldn't be that bad right? 'erm yeah sure' Chloe took a sip of her wine and was now sat next to me on one of the beanbags. 'when was the last time you had sex? I'm not prying so please tell me to mind my own, but it's been so long for me, that until you popped up It hadn't even registered that I was missing it, I mean is that even normal?' I didn't mean to but I laughed, the thought of Chloe even imaging me and her having sex was ridiculous, laughable in facet. 'Chloe sorry for laughing I didn't mean to its just never did I think I would be having conversations like this with you, I have never really talked to anybody about things like this. I mean before I met Jesse I had been with another guy and then there was Jesse and the first 2years we couldn't get enough of each other however we were not big experimenters. An I guess after 5 years we became more like friends, we still had sex but like once every two weeks or something poor like that. I would get frustrated at times but sex stopped being about each other and more about who came first and then that would always be him an so It erm resulted in erm, god this is embarrassing, me sorting myself out really.' God the shame. Chloe put her hand on the top of my leg. She winked at me 'Well I would never of had you down as a sort yourself out type of girl. I mean I have slept with another guy before Thomas, but me and him were pretty much relentless when it came to sex, there isn't much I haven't tried, some of it really was not what it was made out to be. However then after the first two kids it slackened off a bit and I think that's why he went elsewhere really, he has a high sex drive and I think he just needed that contact, I mean when I found out he had been with somebody else, I completely freaked out and my self-esteem nosedived and I don't think I really got over that you know? I mean we would have sex but that is exactly what it was, and so I would pretend I was on my period or that I was too tired, so I know his second affair was down to me really.'

I put my glass down on the floor, and stood up. 'Chloe stand up'

'Bec, what? Why?' I walked across to her speaker system and connected my phone. There was no way I could listen to any more of this horse shit. She was blaming herself for him cheating and clearly had some hang ups. The last thing I wanted her to feel even as a current friend and nothing more was that she wasn't attractive or deserving of somebody looking at her in that way. So, I hit my playlist up and hit play, thinking about your love by Skipworth and Turner started ringing out. Chloe looked at me laughing 'Beca what on earth is this? I began doing some awful dancing looked over at Chloe 'Dancing you joining me?' I winked at her. Granted I was making a damn fool of myself and I was so embarrassed but I wanted to see her smile so making an idiot of myself was a small price to pay. She took my hands and I pulled her close as our hips swayed to the beat, I would then move her away and she would spin around while I held her hand before I pulled her back in. She couldn't stop laughing. 'Bec you are so funny, where did you even come from' I pulled her in close 'Maine' she burst out laughing 'You certainly are Graces Granddaughter, you are so weird' I placed a piece of her hair that had fallen behind her ear and leant in. I whispered, 'But you like me right?' I pulled away as Chloe bit her lip. 'I am just going to check on Siobhan' I sat down as Chloe left the room. Jesus this was insane I had never felt so comfortable with anybody before, it was so strange, every now and again I had a freak out moment I mean, I'd never been with a girl before, an after the conversation we just had I think I am pretty much a virgin in comparison to Chloe, suddenly, I felt freaked out.

I could hear talking as Chloe walked into the kitchen with a very sleepy looking Siobhan. 'Il make you a drink now babe and do you still want to talk?' Siobhan looked over at me then back at her mum. 'hey Siobhan I was about to go anyway, Gran needs me to help with her crosswords' I smiled at her and as I walked towards the door 'hey Chloe I will catch you around yeah?'

I walked out and back to Grans. As I entered the porch I received a txt from Chloe.

Chloe-If you are still up when Siobhan has gone to bed feel free to come back around ok. Xx

I smiled at my phone and walked on the Grans decking where she was sat reading her book.

'so smiler please tell me your moodiness has lifted?' she didn't look up from her book. I poured a whiskey and sat down. 'oh just listening to some music'

Gran turned a page, 'oh you sure it was nothing to do with the beautiful redhead next door? I was thinking about having this place decorated and thought while you were here you could help me?'

'yeah Gran that sounds awesome, you know Iove that stuff, what you thinking?'

I sent Jesse a txt. After my conversation with Chloe I had been thinking about him and our sex life an wanted to ask him about it.

Bec- Hey weirdo, I know this is out of the blue and totally inappropriate, and maybe we should have had this discussion long ago, but I need to know. Did I satisfy you when it came to our sex life? Be honest. Xx

I sat with Siobhan. She looked nervous. 'right my beautiful girl ask away' Siobhan took a deep breath. 'why are you not wearing your rings mum?'

I held Siobhan's hand. 'well the other morning when me and Daddy talked we decided that as much as we love each other, we are not in love with each other anymore and it would be better for us all if Daddy moved out.' I waited for a few moments for the information to sink in. Siobhan looked up and she had tears in her eyes. 'ok, is dad ok? Where is he going to live, where are we going to live? When will we see him? Am I ok to still live with you? Are you ok?' I just hugged her so tight. I cried too. 'Beautiful of course you can still live with me, Mummy is staying in this house. Daddy is a little bit poorly and that's why he hasn't been so nice, but granny and grandad are going to look after him, and he is going to stay with them for a little while. When daddy is back on Monday he is going to come home and we are all going to talk together. You can see Daddy as much as you want. None of this has anything to do with you ok. It is ok to be sad, it's scary I know that and it is scary for mummy and daddy too. We just want you, Patrick and Niamh to be happy and to know you are loved by us so so much. Daddy wants t say he is sorry for being mean too.'

I wiped the tears from Siobhan's face and peppered her in kisses, I love you so much Siobhan and I am so proud of everything you do. You are beautiful and a perfect sister to Patrick and Niamh. Anything at all you want to ask me and dad ever then just ask us we will be as honest as we can ok.'

She nodded at me. 'mum will you stay in my bed with me tonight?' my little girl was still my little girl and she was feeling scared, I hated what we were doing but I also hated what me and Thomas had become. 'Of course. You go up and I will lock up down here and be up in a minute ok?'

Siobhan went off up the stairs. I turned the lights off and headed to bed.

I was looking online at interiors for Grans place for the most part she had said no to practically everything I had showed her. My phone vibrated twice.

Jesse-Hey Bec, erm about your question, I never had any complains, you were always and still are attractive and erm I always enjoyed those moments with you. Everything ok?

I message him back.

Beca-Thanks, if you had the chance would there, of been anything you would tried differently of changed? Xx

I looked at my other message which was from Chloe.

Chloe- This one asked me to stay with her tonight, sweet dreams Bec, xxx

It was a photo of Chloe and Siobhan tucked up in bed. It was so cute.

Beca- Chlo, I don't think you could look anymore cute, hope Siobhan is ok and you are too. Sweet dreams xx

Gran looked over at me. 'you are busy on the messages this evening. 'yeah I am taking to Jesse. I had some things I wanted to ask him'

Me and Gran stuck a film on and not long after midnight Gran went off to bed. I couldn't sleep though and Jesse hadn't messaged me back yet, and it bothered me.

I was nervous, I mean what if one day it got to the point where me and Chloe were about to become intimate with each other, omg I can't believe I am even thinking this way. I just don't feel confident enough, I felt like I was a virgin all over again. I pulled up google. I had seen several porn sites many years ago and I knew it didn't do anything for me, but I also knew it wouldn't give me an idea of what I should be doing, as it was so over rated an unrealistic. I hit up a series called the L-word. My eyes were opened just in the first two episodes. I got sucked into the storyline too. I was about to watch the third episode and my phone vibrated.

Jesse- Beca, I dunno what's going on but trust me when I tell you, that the only regret I have is that I didn't make love to you more often. Xx

This reply made my heart feel heavy.

Bec- Hey, Thanks Jesse and don't have regrets, if we hadn't of had what we did you would never been so happy now. Xx

Few moments later, my phone went off again. Chloe.

Chloe- Hey You, you awake? Xx

I smiled and typed back.

Beca- Yep can't sleep currently watching a tv show called The L-word. How come you are up? Xx

Chloe- I can't sleep, keep thinking about you. I am sorry. I know it has only been like coming up for 4 days since we met and it is all so mad, but right now I wish you were here. Sorry. Xx

I shut down my laptop and I headed to bed. Once I was in bed, I face-timed Chloe.

She answered and looked so cute, she was in what I think is her bed and she had just a pure white duvet covering her and her hair was hanging loosely 'Hey, I look a mess what you doing facetiming?'

'Behave, you look just as good as you always do, and you said you wished I was there so I thought this was a good compromise. That way you can talk away and eventually fall asleep. Right?' I gave her a cheeky grin. 'you Mitchell are going to get me into lots of trouble, anyhow what's the l-word show?' Oh great now how was I going to explain this.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

'trouble me how?' she started laughing, 'never mind that what's this l-word all about? Is it worth a watch? Thomas's mum is coming tomorrow, she is taking the kids out for a few hours. So fancy showing me an episode?'

Why did I think Facetime was a good idea? I couldn't hide the expression on my face.

'Oh that is good least you get some time to yourself, she taking them anywhere nice?'

Chloe started laughing, 'Bec you completely swerved my questions, do I need to just google this L-word? Or you going to explain it to me? I know your embarrassed I can see it in your face.'

I placed my hands over my face 'Omg it's just a tv show from years ago about a group of Lesbians who live in LA. Nowt big' I looked up and Chloe was holding her iPad, before I knew she was like oh yeah there are clips on YouTube il have a look, what episode you on'

I started to have a small heart attack. 'omg Chloe don't, seriously it's not that good anyway, il tell you about it tomorrow' she smirked and I could hear a clip playing. I wanted to totally die. So much so I ended the facetime call. What the fuck. Shit. I needed to get a grip of this. At the same time my god did I want Chloe badly. All this sex talk and awakening so to speak was waking up a side of me I never knew was there. Chloe was calling me back. I didn't answer. She rang three times followed by a message.

Chloe-Bec answer my call, that show looks hot. I didn't mean to embarrass you, I thought we were going to be honest about things, and I think it is important we are so please just call me back. I miss your little face xx

I dialled her back. She was looking at the camera, 'hey, thanks, I didn't mean to upset you. Forgive me?' she winked at me. 'don't apologise, it was me being an idiot. Just with the conversation we were having before about sex and experience when I got back it played on my mind that you have been more adventurous than me and if this thing between us was to go to a different level, oh my god I can't believe I am even saying this, then I just didn't want to not know what to do if that makes sense? So I came across this show and thought it may help. Shameful I know.'

Chloe looked right at me. 'Bec do me a favour, hang up and come over.' She had this look about her that I knew I wasn't to argue. 'Just come in the door will be unlocked il be in the snug.'

'Chloe its like near 2am lets just go sleep.'

'Beca you have 5minutes to get here. Bye' with that she hung up.

Shit, I wish I hadn't said anything now. I got out of bed threw a black vest on and some grey sweat pants. I ran a brush through my hair and headed out. I walked into next door and made my way to the snug, There were a few candles lit, the fire was on and the ipad was on the top of this little table in front of a few bean bags and a throw. 'Hey, glad you made it' Chloe said kissing me on my cheek, before guiding me to sit down. 'I made you a drink. I thought we could maybe watch a few episodes together, I mean I have no idea about any of this either. It is all as new to me as it is you, so let's just get embarrassed, together right?' She took hold of my hand 'plus Bec when we do get to the stage where we want to take this next step, I want us to be totally ready, not feeling nervous. We have nothing to be nervous about ok. It is just me and you and if we don't talk about things especially intimate things then we may as well stop before we start, right?' I smiled at her, I mean how did she make everything seem so simple and relaxed. This was unlike anything I was used too.

'ok, you are right, thank you' She pulled me in for a hug. I seriously don't think she was prepared for some of the scenes that were about to play out. The fact she was turning me on these days in a way that just confused me more than I already was. I was having thoughts about her that I really should curb, I mean how at any point did I think that watching some of these scenes with her wishing that was us would be easy to manage? Oh boy.

So we sat and watched the 3rd and 4th episodes which showed Tina and Bette trying for a child. Chloe turned to me. 'Bec, how come you never had children with Jesse? An it sounds crazy but watching that scene then was so full of love an I wish my children had been conceived like that I mean I had no meaning behind falling pregnant other than wanting to come at the time and it being an accident. An seeing that just made me think how beautiful it was.' She looked at me and seemed keen on my response. I mean how was I going to say oh we didn't have children because I didn't want them.

'erm me and Jesse didn't have children because I fell pregnant not long after we got married, however I had a miscarriage and after that I decided I didn't want to go through that again so I told Jesse I didn't want children after that. Selfish really. I never talked about it either and Jesse knew not to push me. I feel bad now for him, however I am glad we didn't because it was just easier'

Chloe had squeezed my hand I knew she understood as she had lost a child, she told me at the reservoir and then she just stared at the screen. I knew what was going through her head. I didn't want children yet she had three where did that leave us. I knew I had to reassure her.

'Clo, your children are amazing, like total mini versions of you, just because I didn't want any of my own doesn't mean I don't like children. I just couldn't bare letting a child of mine down again like I already had.' I started to feel upset and emotional, 'I should go' I stood up and walked towards the door. 'Beca..; Before I knew it Chloe was pressed up against me and looked deep into my eyes before kissing me, her hands ran through my hair and I wanted nothing more than for this to go to another place but I knew It couldn't. My lips rested on hers and I smiled. 'I am off home Clo because I need a cold shower and you need sleep' she laughed at me 'you would never let your child down Bec, always know that.' With that she leant in and we shared a gentle kiss at the door before I left.

I got back to Grans and sat on the sofa and found myself thinking about the little boy I had lost. I messaged Jesse.

Bec- Hey sorry for the randomness today, I am just sorting through some stuff. I hope you have children with Hannah. You will make an amazing dad one day. Xx

With that I pulled the throw off the sofa and closed my eyes.

I shut the door behind Beca and walked back into the snug. Turned everything off and went to bed.

I woke up about 3hours later as Niamh climbed onto my bed. 'mummy, I want some breakfast' I opened one eye, I was so tired but I knew with the kids gone all day I could catch up on some lost hours. I climbed out of bed and walked into the kitchen. 'Shall we make pancakes?' Niamh got so excited she ran upstairs to get Patrick. I laughed. Those two had such a love hate relationship. I hit play on my system and Wham- Wake me up before you go came blasting out. I couldn't help but laugh and began dancing around the kitchen. Niamh and Patrick came in and I could hear their giggles. I picked up the wooden spoon and started using it as a microphone as I danced around with them. Siobhan entered what must of looked like chaos. Niamh went running over to her and held her two hands 'Come on and dance Siobhan.' I pulled out my phone and started to record us. I hadn't heard the kids laughing that much for ages. 'right let's pick a song each. 'Siobhan come on it's your turn, Patrick then you and then last it's you Niamh'

Siobhan hit play Beep Beep by Little Mix- Her and Niamh took the wooden spoon and were singing away 'Come on mum films us' I crouched down with them as we sung away while Patrick drank some milk. 'this is for girls' Siobhan shouted over to him 'whatever Patrick I have seen you dancing to my little mix music' they all started laughing. I pinched Patricks cheeks 'I still love you Patrick even if you love little mix' he started laughing 'shut up mum, it's my turn now, Yesssss'

He ran over and the next minute Swalla by Jason Derulo came on. I could not stop laughin he was giving it loads like he was some sort of dancer, Siobhan had tears coming down her face. He was shaking his little arse all over the place while wearing his boxers and his vest. Niamh was trying to copy him and she was clapping to the rhythm of the music. I was snap chat recording him, god he was funny when the track stopped he stood with his arms folded like he was some performer.

I gave him such a big hug 'Patrick, where did you learn the moves kid?' he looked at me and went I watch youtube mum and copy, I would love to be a break dancer, like in diversity' I chuckled why did I not know this? 'well how about I see if there are any classes you could go too?' He ran off and jumped 'Yessssssssss, that would be the best mum'

Right Niamh your go, lets pick a song sweetie, 'That one mum please' I looked down, oh lord. 'are you sure?' She hit play before I had chance to change her mind. 'Patrick quick its our song' Siobhan shook her head and started to get things ready for making pancakes as Swish Swish by Katy Perry rang out. The funniest thing was the dance they were doing, I hit record on my phone, Patrick was trying to rap ha ha ha. I wanted a song to send to Thomas I knew it would really make him laugh.

'Well that was fantastic let's pick one we can send to dad?' I put my hands on the top of Siobhan's shoulders and kissed the top of her head, 'what do you think Siobhan?' she smiled 'yeah what about that one he always has on in the car? I started laughing. Thomas was obsessed with The Killers Mr Brightside, I don't think there was a day he didn't listen to it. 'ok then, lets go into the snug and set up our little band and we can pretend we are doing it in concert. Patrick do you think you could be as cool as Brendan Flowers?' Patrick grabbed the spoon, 'yeah I think so. I will get changed, Siobhan will you be the drummer, Niamh is too little, she is better at guitar' an off he went.

He came back down with his school pants on a white school shirt and a tie of his dads around his neck. 'ready, lets do this'

I placed the ipad on its stand so it could record while we were all in the video. 'this is for you dad' Siobhan shouted and the track kicked in. She was using the xbox drum set from Thomas's game and Niamh used the keyboard and I had been given the guitar. The kids looked amazing and Patrick was everything a front man should be, my heart swelled so much. They gave it loads, and they all knew the words. In that moment as I looked at all the laughing they were doing ad how cute they looked I was so proud of what me and Thomas had done. Our children were amazing. As the song came to an end Patrick threw his spoon down and they all shouted, 'we love you dad.'

I wiped a tear from my cheek, they had been so distant from him for such a long time, but it just showed you that the love they had for him was still there and I knew that would help him. I sent him the video via WhatsApp. We cracked on listening to music while we made pancakes and before I knew it Sofia arrived. I had set the children's clothes out and they were all getting ready. The place looked like a bomb had gone off. 'How are you?' I kept myself busy cleaning up 'yeah I am ok thank you, just sad really, as much as I know it is the right thing to do it's still hard. Siobhan knows she asked me and I didn't want to lie. Thomas knows I told him, she had lots of questions and got a bit upset but we are going to talk to them all tomorrow night when he gets back. They made him a video this morning.' I showed Sofia and she could not stop laughing. 'oh my god I bet Thomas loved that! You any plans today while I have these lot?'

I put some washing in, 'erm not really probably get the house in some sort of order before thomas gets back tomorrow, need to get some shopping and maybe go for a coffee with Beca, Graces granddaughter.' Next minute the kids all came down, Niamh shouted up 'where we off to Gran?' she picked Nimah up 'well I thought we could go to Tayto Park' before Sofia could even finish what she was saying the children started screaming 'yesssssssss' with that they all pilled out of the house. Sofia gave me a long hug 'use this time to relax, I will help you tidy up later. You deserve the break'

I walked back in and tidied up the kitchen I couldn't leave it the way it was. Beds were all changed uniforms all ironed for tomorrow. I messaged Beca.

Chloe- Afternoon You, the door is open if you fancy a coffee. Xx

I continued tidying up the living room while singing and dancing along to slow hands by Niall Horan. Beca hadn't txt back yet so figured I would finish my house work.

I had woken up about 11am, Gran had made sure I was awake. I told her I would take her Paint shopping, she said she wanted a new kitchen so would I go with her to look. I had a shower and put my skinny denim jeans on, and my blue and white striped fitted shirt tucked in and I had thrown on my navy fitted jacket. I had my hair down and had put my boots on. 'ready Gran?' she looked up at me 'bloody hell where do you think you are going? Have you invited Chloe and not told me?' I stood there 'Erm no I haven't but I can if you want?' she started laughing 'Well you look very smart for DIY shopping, and you can if you like love, I saw all the kids heading off before. Though she is probably going to catch up on her sleep. I mean if I was up until 4am with the neighbour's granddaughter then I would be having a few midday naps.' Gran looked at me and winked. 'well go on then go and ask her, she probably has better taste than you anyway.' I walked towards the door 'whatever Gran'

I walked up the path and opened the door, as I walked in to Chloe's I could hear music, as I got closer to the living room. The song playing was Niall Horan-Slow Hands. I nearly died. Chloe was wearing denim ripped shorts, and a black bra under a very white shirt with the first few buttons undone. Her hair was all pinned up and she was moving very well to the beat, her hips had me lip biting for sure, and her voice as she sang along just had me froze. She turned around and screamed. 'OMG Bec you gave me a damn heart attack' I bit down on my lip and swallowed hard as the song continued and she walked up to me wearing a big grin, while dancing in a seductive way, she started singing as she placed her hands on my shoulders and ran them down my chest, gripping the lapels on my jacket. I was struggling to breathe. She moved her hands down my chest resting them on the waist band of my jeans. 'Got me now and I can't say no, wanna be with you all alone, take me home, take me home, Fingertips puttin' on a show, Can't you tell that I want you, baby, yeah?'

She smirked and I didn't know where to look. God I had never been so turned on in my life. I swallowed hard as I watched her giggle at the fact I couldn't get my words out. She turned away from me and had her back up against my front and she was putting her hips to good use. I couldn't help what came next, as the song was nearing the end I placed my hands on her hips, spun her round and pushed her up against the table, I lifted her so she was sat on top of it and I stood in between her legs. My hands roaming up the side of her shirt as I kissed her neck, she let out a soft moan before I kissed her passionately. I whispered into her ear as I felt her hands in my back pocket 'You will be the death of me, I have never wanted anybody more than I do you right now' With that we began kissing and Cloe was smiling into the kiss. 'You calling me a tease Mitchell, because I think you will find that you walked in to my home and was watching me. People have been arrested for less.' She winked, and pulled away. 'right erm I came around, because I am off out with Gran and she wanted to know if you want to come.' Chloe smirked 'I'd love to come' I went bright red and she laughed so hard, 'sorry I couldn't resist, il get changed be down in a min'

I went outside to where Gran was sat in her car waiting. I climbed in the front of the car. 'I am guessing I don't want to know why your face is so red Rebeca?' I turned the radio up. I instantly laughed as Chloe jumped in the back with her black ripped jeans and a white tee, with her black bra straps showing. Her hair was tied up and she had red lipsticks on. 'hey Grace, how are you?' as my gran was about to reply the radio started playing Slow hands. I could feel myself going bright red. I went to turn it off, Chloe jumps in 'awww Becs don't I love this song.' Omg Chloe were you trying to kill me. 'Beca turn it up for Chloe, and I am good thanks love. I want to get a new kitchen fitted and have the place decorated thought you could help me, along with this one! When she has calmed down from whatever has just gone on in your house.' I spun my head round from looking out window 'Erm just so you know Gran nothing happened in the house.' Gran looked at Chloe, then me 'Rebeca your face says otherwise, so does hers.' I could hear Chloe giggle and she started singing 'there aint no stopping your plans with those slow hands.' I could see Gran looking at my now super red face. I pulled my phone out.

Beca- There is no need, Chloe, such a tease. If you don't tone this down I will not make it through today. My Gran is right here! Xx

I was flicking through some work emails while, gran and chloe were talking kitchens and colour schemes. My phone vibrated.

Chloe- Chill out babes, if your faces gets any redder your gran will think ive already been screaming your name. xx

I opened my message, Wtf. I could hear Chloe laughing. Thankfully we arrived at the DIY store, as we walked in my phone starting ringing, it was James my assistant. 'Hiya James everything ok?'

'Bec, you are only like a 90min flight away from London while at your Grans aren't you?'

I indicated to Chloe and Gran that I would catch up with them.

'Yeah James why?'

'Its just the guy producing the new Little Mix album and the girls have had a fall out and they have binned him off so thought you may want to swoop in and erm save the day.'

'is that code for you have said you will do it?'

'erm no I said I would ask you, but think about how good that would be? They must have it done within the next 7months. I mean you could stay in London and then fly back to Dublin for a few days a week. A working vacation?'

I laughed, 'sounds like you have this planned out, however I don't want to be in London really, I don't mind the odd few weeks but Find me somewhere in Dublin and it's a deal.'

'Il get back to you by 5pm and let you know, and what the schedule will be. Enjoy the rest of your day'

Well so much for a month off. Well I best find myself somewhere to stay in the city, producing an album is none stop even a commute of 40minutes there an back is too much. I found Gran and Chloe looking at kitchens. 'everything ok Rebeca?' I walked to the side of Gran. 'Yeah looks like I have a new work project coming up. It should be in London but I am hoping to get it based in Dublin, was too good to give up really. So much for a month off'

Gran looked at me with concern. As did Chloe. 'so how long is the project? When does it start And I assume you will be looking for somewhere in the city to stay?'

I was looking at tiles, and didn't look up as I spoke. 'Well it starts immediately really, I will have to probably go to London within the next few days and it will probably last about 7months, and yeah I am going to look for an apartment'

Gran looked at me and then at Chloe.

'can't you just stay with Grace?' Gran looked at Chloe. 'Chloe love I have been around her before when she is producing and I don't fancy it again. It is very intense for her and the hours are up the wall. For me to continue to love her she needs her own space, isn't that right?'

I started laughing, 'totally Gran but less about me and more about this damn kitchen!'

We spent the next few hours going through unique designs, colours etc. We had enjoyed lunch together, but I had noticed Chloe had become a little quiet. We arrived back at the house.

'right guys thanks for today I have had a lovely time, best get in and prepare for the mob returning. Thomas is back tomorrow too, can't say I am looking forward to that, but I know it has to be done.'I gave Beca and Grace a hug and a kiss and headed into the house.

As I walked into Grans my phone went off it was James. 'Hiya James, everything sorted?'

'yeah Beca I have sent you over a schedule and an email with all relevant information and contact details. I need you to come to London Wednesday for a meeting, so thought you may want to fly over Tuesday? We have hired time at Westland studios in Dublin to complete the project. You want me sort you an apartment out or you doing that yourself? I will sort flights and a hotel for tues and Wednesday.'

Cheers James, if you could sort London out for me and let me know and meet me there, then il sort Dublin out. Cheers James, take it easy.'

Gran was currently putting tester colours up around the place. I heard a car pull up outside and could see three very tired children.

I messaged Chloe.

Beca-Hey you, everything ok? Can I come around later, thought you may like to help me pick a place to stay in Dublin? Xx

I got back in the house, poured a glass of wine and sat down, my thoughts filled with this morning and I was becoming anxious about as of tomorrow, then what was going to happen now Beca was working? I heard Sofia's car pull up and before I knew it my little troops came in. I don't think I have ever seen them look so tired.

'hey you three, you had a good time?' Niamh walked up to me 'Mummy I want to go to sleep Granny Sofia had me doing so much walking. I think my legs are broke.' I picked her up and gave her kisses, come on little one. Siobhan, Patrick you both ok?' Siobhan dumped her back and gave me a hug 'Mum I am going to have a shower and then read my book in bed, I am really tired.' I gave her a kiss on the head 'Mum loves you so much' with that Siobhan walked up the stairs. 'Patrick will you have a shower after your sister please?' he walked up to me holding his jumper and his bag. 'yeah mum.'

'Guys do not forget to thank Granny for your day out.' An unison 'Thank You' echoed down the stairs. Sofia gave me a hug, said the children had a brilliant time and that she would see me tomorrow. With that she left.

I bathed Niamh and read her a story, I heard Patrick in the shower and I checked in on him and Siobhan both were flat out. I gave them kisses and headed downstairs.

I hit the ipad up and thought I would watch some more of this L-Word. I had my phone on charge so hadn't noticed Beca's message. A scene came on that was very detailed and I found myself thinking of Beca and what could of happened this morning. Without realising my hand had made it inside my underwear. I could feel how wet the thought of being with Beca had made me. For the first time in a very long time I needed to release some of the sexual tension I was feeling. I moved my fingers around my clit slowly before making faster circles, I could feel a building in my stomach. I had been so long since I had felt this, all I could see was Beca with her head between my thighs and my hands in her hair begging her not to stop. Within a few moments I found myself at the height of an orgasm and my god had I missed that. My body shuddered and my chest was heaving. I had ended up in this state just by the sheer thought of her. I can only imagine what effect she would have on me if she did touch me.

After a few moments of calming down, I poured myself another wine and picked my phone up. I saw her message and replied.

Choe- Yeah Bec, come round whenever you like, kids are all in bed and I was watching some Lword. The door is open.

I felt my phone vibrate and smiled seeing it was Chloe, Gran was asleep in her chair. I left her a note and headed next door. I slowly walked in to find chloe putting a War on Drugs album on.

I walked up to her, and placed my hands around her waist. 'hey' she turned around and kissed my cheek. 'hey to you too'

She poured me a drink and we sat down. 'you were a bit quiet before when Gran was driving back everything ok?'

Chloe looked down at her hands. 'yeah I am just anxious about tomorrow and then I know it sounds selfish but I was thinking about you going back to work and what that means and I am pretty sexually frustrated. So quite a few things going on.'

I moved closer to her. 'tomorrow was never going to be easy, you are closing a chapter with somebody you have loved for over 10years, who you have moved countries with, have had children with, you have had your homes and you have grown with each other. You are not just sad for you but you are worried for your children and what will happen. It is all change. As for me going back to work, you don't have to worry about that, it will be a good thing. We have only spent several days together and we have become so connected but I am excited about what is to come. I want you and the children to be together, to get through this together. I don't want to be in the way of that, and I want to be able to take you on a date and for the world to know I am. I want to be able to surprise you and to spend quality time with you, I want to understand all the tiniest things about you, we don't have to rush any of this, I know I am normally in LA and that is my home but for the next 7 months I will be 40minutes away.' I wiped a few tears away that had fell on to Chloe's cheeks. I leaned forward and kissed her. I placed my forehead on hers. We were looking into one another's eyes. 'chloe I know we have been quite flirty with each other and we both know there is a massive elephant in the room, but one day that will melt away when we get to make love to one another, but for now how about we focus on the children and helping them through this and when Thomas has the children you come and stay with me in the city and we can look into what you need to do to get back in to work and we can use that time as time for us, to go on dates without other people and their prying eyes. What do you think?'

Chloe looked at me. 'Beca, thank you. I think that sounds perfect and I think that you are one of a kind. An I am excited about what will happen, even if it gets tough lets always talk, lets always be honest. I understand it isn't as easy as just dating me it's me and three other people. An I appreciate everything you are doing for me and them.' At that point we kissed and both smiled as we broke away. I sat back into the corner of the sofa and Chloe snuggled into me as I turned my laptop on and went through apartments for sale. I wanted Chloe to have an input, with everything going on I wanted her to feel relaxed when she came to stay, somewhere she could be chloe and not mum. After around 2hours of looking I found one, and emailed the letting agency. 'right I am going to let you get some sleep, your eyes look so heavy and you have a busy day tomorrow. If you need anything at all just call, even if it is just to talk or you just want a hug. Promise me you will.'

Chloe looked up at me. 'I promise.' With that she leaned in and we kissed. 'you are pretty magic you know.' I smiled 'Not as magic as you' I walked to the door holding her hand. As I stepped outside I turned around and held her hands in mine. I lent in and kissed her gently on the cheek. 'good night Chloe' I didn't want to let go of her touch an as I did to walk down the path I felt something missing already. I looked back as she was stood halfway behind the door watching me, she was so beautiful.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

My alarm went off. I hit my phone to turn it off and saw I had a message from Thomas. My stomach churned. I wasn't looking forward to today.

Thomas- Hey Chloe, me and dad landed an hour ago. I have a GP appointment at 10am and then thought I would come home and we could sort things out before picking the children up. The video they made me had me crying. Thank You so much. See you about 11

I lay there just thinking. Everything was about to change. Not sure I am even ready.

I got up and woke the children up while I went down stairs to make packed lunches. First up was Niamh. She pulled her box of coco pops out of the cupboard and proceeded to get her bowl out of the cupboard. 'mum can you help me with my milk please.' I got it out and shouted the other two. 'mum is daddy back soon, I miss him.' I looked at her little face with chocolate milk in the corners of her mouth. 'yes beautiful, he is going to be with mummy picking you up from school tonight.'

She looked up at me 'Really mum, yessssssssss I hope he got me a present, I am going to ask him to read me a story tonight for bed.'

Patrick and Siobhan came walking through and before I knew it there was a full on argument about peanut butter, toast and jam. All I could hear was he did this she did that, tell him to shut up tell her to stop it. I couldn't handle it not today. 'RIGHT ALL OF YOU JUST SHHHH' I never like to raise my voice but I had no choice. 'eat your breakfast and get ready for school. Me and your dad are picking you all up today after school. So Patrick do not have me having to come into the school because you have been misbehaving.'

Patrick looked down 'okkkkkkkkk' Within the next 30 minutes everybody was shipped out to school. I got everybody in the car and I was walking around the driver's side there was a note taped to the door. I frowned and looked around to see if I could see who had put it there. I stood there and opened it up. Inside was a piece of card and a few red, what looked like rose petals. I pulled the card out.

'When the flower blossoms, the bee will come,

B xx'

I couldn't stop smiling. I kept the envelope and placed it down the side of the car door. The kids were singing away and talking about what presents their dad will have picked them up. I sure hope he had. I drove on auto pilot and knew that Siobhan kept looking at me. As we pulled up at school she looked at me. 'mum you ok?' I looked at her beautiful innocent face. 'I am absolutely fine sweetheart, now go and have a good day, will you walk your sister in for me please? I gave her a kiss.

The car doors all slammed shut. I turned the radio off. Silence. I sat there taking that in and pulled my phone out.

Chloe- Bec, Thank You, made me smile so much. Xx Hope you have a good day, I am meeting Thomas at 11. Just dropped the children off and heading home. Can I pop in? xx

I wound the window down and started the engine up, driving back home in a total world of my own.

I woke up to the sound of my message tone. I read the message from Chloe and it made me smile. I typed back.

Beca- Of course you can pop in, I am in my room. The door is open come up. Gran has headed to Williams for the day. Xx

I go out of bed so I could brush my teeth. I didn't not need morning breath. I climbed back into bed and I heard the door close. Chloe knocked on the door. 'Becs are you decent?' I couldn't help myself I shouted back 'only on Sundays' I heard her giggle and she walked in. She had black sweat pants on and a grey hoodie with her hair tied up with a cap on. 'morning sunshine, I picked you up an Americano.' She handed it over with a wink. She sat on the end of the bed. 'So, Thomas is coming at 11, right? You had any thoughts about anything? You think he may be funny with you?' Chloe took a sip of her Coffee. 'No I don't think he will be funny, there is just so much to sort out isn't there. I mean I know it's early but even in the coming months how will I fund a divorce? Just so many questions. I mean Niamh is going to be heart broken.'

I could see the tension and worry seeping into Chloe. I put my coffee on the bedside table and sat up in bed. 'Chlo, come here' I put my arm out and she moved up the bed. I held her tight. 'it will all work out, its just very emotional. An its ok to be upset, disappointed etc, god I felt like such a failure when I split with Jesse. I was embarrassed that I couldn't make it work. If you need anything at all just ask me or Gran ok?'

'Thanks Becs' she then kissed my hand that draped over her. 'you any plans for today?'

'Other than planning for going to London tomorrow no. I will read up on my schedule and I need to go and check that apartment out too.' Chloe was playing with my hand, running her fingers over my nails and palms. 'you need a ride the airport tomorrow?'

'You know what that would be awesome, thanks. I have to be there for 11am as my meeting is 2pm.'

'No Problems, I best get going, Thomas will be here in a minute.' She stood up, pulled her hoodie down and looked at me. She looked so sad. I got up out of the bed and walked towards the bedroom door. I kissed her on the cheek, 'come here' I got my perfume bottle and held her wrist out. 'If it gets too much, take a smell of this on your hoodie and know I am around. Ok'

She looked at me 'you really are the cutest person ever, I will message you later, good luck with the apartment.' With that she was gone. I headed to the shower, best keep myself busy. I felt this sensation in my stomach too, surely it wasn't jealously?

I walked into the house and sat down at the kitchen table. I heard the door open and in walked Thomas. My stomach dropped. 'Hey' he looked at me and walked over I stood up and he gave me a big hug. 'Hey Chloe, I never thought we would end up here. You ok?'

I took a deep breath while he was still holding me. So, predictable still wearing his Paco Rabanne 1 million. That fragrance had once been such a comfort, now it evoked every other emotion possible other than being safe.

We pulled apart and Thomas made a drink and pulled out a file full of paperwork.

'I hope you don't mind. However, when I was away with dad he helped me organise somethings about the house and visiting for the children.

I have some paperwork here that means that you and the children can have the house, however if you sell the house the money legally must be split between Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh.

I looked at him 'Okay that is a brilliant idea. So do we continue to pay the mortgage between us?

I was thinking as I am completely aware that you haven't been working and I don't want you to fret about anything. So until you get a job then I will continue to pay everything. Then once you are up and working I wondered if you could then go halves with me for mortgage and bills, and we class that as maintenance? I will place 100 euros for each child in their bank each month for anything they made need. What do you think?

I nodded 'Thomas I think it is very amicable. Thank you.'

He looked at me he was still so lost, the Thomas I knew was not to be found in his eyes.

'ok well could you look over these then and give me them back tomorrow please?'

'of course,'

'Now custody. I was thinking we ask the children what they would like to do? Chloe its going to be so different for them and I don't want them to end up as weekend children, living out of bags.'

I sat quietly for a minute. 'I think that is a good idea too. I don't want our children to ever feel like they can't talk to dad about mum and vice versa.'

'I will come buy at the weekend with Mum and dad to move all of my things out. I was thinking with the children school breaking up for a week on Friday for two weeks that maybe I could have them for the two weeks and take them camping with Mum and Dad. Il understand if you don't want to be apart from them for that long. I just want to build my relationship with them.'

I started to panic, I had never spent that long without seeing the children. 'erm can I let you know about that tomorrow?' he looked at me of course.

'I have deposited half our savings from before you had Niamh in to your account. Here is a receipt of the transfer.'

He really had thought of everything. At times, it seemed quite a cold conversation. It was everything we had together just being split in two.

'I notice you don't have your wedding ring on? I took mine off too, it was a strange feeling. I have kept it. I would like to give it to Patrick when he is older. I want him to know how much I was in love with you.'

I started to cry, and I couldn't stop. 'Thomas, I am so sorry,' I said as I sobbed into his embrace.

'oh Chloe, you have nothing to say sorry for, my god you have been and always will be a total dream and I have no doubt some guy in the future will treat you the way I should of. I am so sorry for the heart ache I have caused you.'

'Thomas the things you gave to me and the children you created with me, the laughs, the memories far oh weigh and misery. I just want you to be happy.'

We sorted other loose ends up too and I helped him pack some of his belongings up. We were laughing so much at photos we came across, we cried some more and then it was pretty much time to get the children.

I walked in to the snug just before we left and for a moment I took a deep breath in of my hoodie smelling Beca instantly. Which relaxed me for what I was about to do. I pulled my phone out.

Chloe-How is the apartment hunt going? Xx

With that me and Thomas headed for the car, as we walked down the path, Beca was walking up hers. She looked hot. Jesus, calm down. She was wearing Navy blue pin stripe suit pants, a light blue fitted shirt and heels with her hair down and blowing gently in the wind. She gave me and Thomas a smile and walked in. 'how long is she staying with Grace.' I looked across the seat in the car 'erm she is moving to the city in a few weeks and she is producing some music tracks. '

He put his sunglasses on, 'oh right good luck affording a place in the city. She does talk then?'

This really angered me, he had no idea how amazing she was and how that only hours early she had been holding me. I couldn't help but bite back. 'she does but maybe she didn't take to kindly to being called a Lesbian, when she has been separated from her husband for 12 months after 10years of marriage, an she come here as she had a breakdown.' I pretend to rub my nose but I just needed to smell her.

'woah alright Chloe didn't ask for her life story, just making a comment.'

I put the radio on. We remained silent all the way to the school.

I walked back into Grans, pulled a beer out of the fridge and sat in her dining room. She had a piano in there. I sat on the stool and my fingers felt the cold of the keys. I had such a fire in my stomach about seeing Chloe with Thomas. I mean what was that even about, I knew they were over but just seeing her with him just didn't sit right with me at all. I had never had this emotion before and it unsettled me. I couldn't wait to tell her I had found an apartment and to be able to take her to see it.

I began to play Crescent Moon by KT Tunstall, I loved how playing this just focused my thoughts and calmed me down. I was hoping that this project with work would take my mind off what is the biggest teenage crush known to man.

Me and Thomas sat in the car, he placed his hand on mine. 'you ok?'

I continued to look out of the window. 'yeah, you?'

At that moment Siobhan and Patrick arrived at the car and got in. 'hey dad, Siobhan let forward and gave him a kiss, he kissed her back, you have a good day?' she sat down in her seat 'yeah I just finished sports so I am all hot, we played Gaelic Football, I love it, I have been picked in the team next week.' I looked at her with such pride 'Siobhan baby that is fantastic. Well done.' Patrick piped up 'Yeah well mum said she's going to get me dance classes dad. So I can be like in diversity' Thomas started laughing 'well I look forward to your shows Pat.' Thomas got out the car and went to collect Niamh. As he walked around the corner holding her she looked so happy. Once we were in the car, radio went on and the children were asking Thomas lots of questions about his holiday.

My phone vibrated a few times while it was in the cup holder. Thomas looked over, 'Somebody is popular' I looked back 'yeah probably my twitter feed.' As we entered the house I told the children to get changed and to come and sit down in the snug. I closed the door on the bathroom and pulled my phone out.

Beca- Hey Chlo, hope you are ok. Thinking about you. Xx I bought an apartment I have sent some pictures over. Pick up the keys next week. I was undecided on whether to rent or buy. Ended up buying. Cannot wait to take you to see it. Xx

I smiled and once I saw the pictures I couldn't believe it, the place was stunning it must of cost her a small fortune.

Chloe-I am ok thank you, just about to talk to the children. Your apartment is stunning I cannot wait for you to show me round ;-) xx

I walked into the snug. We all sat down. I looked at Thomas, he had Niamh sitting on his knee. 'Mummy and Daddy have something very important that we need to tell you. So we need you to listen. First mummy and daddy love you all so much, you are the best things in our lives. However today mummy and daddy have been talking because we have been making each other very sad, and we haven't been very good friends to each other which is not very nice, as we just want each other to be happy. So after a big talk,' I was going to cry so I stopped to catch my breath, I didn't want them seeing me upset.' Thomas took my hand 'So mummy and me decided that we would be better friends if Daddy lived with Granny and Grandad and you all stayed here with mummy. We don't want you to be upset, because you will still see mummy and daddy every day. Niamh starting sobbing and clinging to Thomas, Patrick went very quiet and Siobhan cuddled in to me and cried. I looked at Patrick. 'hey little man come here.' He walked over to me and I covered him in kisses.

After a few minutes, Thomas manged to calm Niamh down. Patrick sat there and looked at his dad ' Does it mean that we will stay with you at weeknds dad, like shaun at school does with his dad?'

Thomas looked at him, 'well Patrick me and mummy thought you, Siobhan and Niamh would like to tell us how we see you, so I will explain all the options and then mummy is going to pick us up a big pizza and when she gets back you three can tell us what would make you the most happy.'

Niamh looked up, he eyes all red. 'daddy if you have your own house will me and Niamh get another bedroom.?' Thomas and Siobhan started laughing. 'yeah of course beautiful' she walked over to Siobhan. 'wow that will be cool'

I stood up and grabbed my car keys. I got in the car, and I sobbed my heart out. I picked up my phone and dialled Beca. I could hardly breath.

'Chloe, Chloe are you ok? Where are you? Try to calm down you can hardly breathe. Where are you.?'

I managed to get a few words out. 'On my way to pizza 2000'

'Right pull over where you are now and calm down, I am on my way.'

I jumped in my car and sped off. I spotted her car and pulled up behind, I jumped out and knocked on the driver's window. I walked around and opened the passenger door. Once in I took her hands. 'Hey I am here its ok.' She had taken her cap off and her hair was all in her face along with her tears. I moved her hair out of her face and wiped her tears away he eyes were so big looking right at me. 'Beca that was so horrible, Patrick went so quiet, Niamh was sobbing and screaming Siobhan was holding on to me crying too. We have hurt our children so much. 'hey hey less of that you and Thomas are amazing parents and you will make sure Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh want for nothing, you are them and could love them anymore if you tried. You haven't hurt them. Everything will be ok. I brought Chloe closer to me and I kissed her gently on the lips, it tasted salty due to her tears.

'let's go and order the pizza and get some fresh air and then get you back ok? Then when Thomas leaves tonight I will come around and we can sleep under the stars. Ok.'

I smiled. 'That sounds nice, Thank You, you could show me photos of your place too.'

'Exactly, so come on let's get this pizza sorted.'

We ordered the food and went back to the car. 'Beca, thank you.'

'Anytime you know that, message me later ok, il be waiting' I gave her a kiss on the cheek and drove off.

I arrived back with the pizza as I walked in I could hear laughter. It made me smile.

Niamh came running out, 'Mummy Is back' before I had chance to put the pizza down I was swamped by all three of them. 'Hey kids watch the pizza' I laughed. Patrick went and got plates and we all sat in the snug with our drinks and pizza.

'right mummy, are we ready to see what plan our amazing children have come up with?'

I had a mouthful of pizza so I nodded. Thomas nudged Patrick. 'Go on little man'

'Well Siobhan told us there are 4 weeks in every month. So we thought it would be good if we stayed with you mummy for a week, then daddy for a week, then you mummy and then daddy, but we would like to have joint birthday parties and a joint Christmas.' I small part of me died. However, they seemed very happy with this. Niamh walked over to me 'Mummy when we stay at daddy's for a week, we were thinking we could face time you before we went to bed, that way we all see each other every day.' She hung her arms around my neck and gave me kisses. Siobhan came over to me and kissed me too. Patrick hung back. He was worrying me. We spend the next few hours playing games, singing and laughing. Me and Thomas put them to bed and once back downstairs he said he was going to go and he would pop round tomorrow. We hugged at the door, and held each other. This was it. It was all over. Thomas looked at me 'Chloe, I wouldn't of wanted to do any of this with anybody else, Thank You for loving me, for believing in me and for gifting me with 3 utterly beautiful perfect children.' He cried as he walked down the path. He turned around, 'Chloe' I wiped my tears away. 'yeah' he stood there for a moment. 'Never be afraid to be loved and more so never be afraid to fall madly in love.' He blew me a kiss and got in his car.

I shut the door and headed for the shower. I broke my heart crying. I put my pjs on and headed downstairs, I poured a massive glass of wine and sat in the snug. I pulled my phone out.

Chloe- Wine? Xx

I was sat with Gran, she was telling me about her day with William. They had spent time with his family and had afternoon tea. He said she could stay with him while the work in the house was happening. I had told her about Chloe being so upset and I had gone through what I would be up to for the next two weeks.

My phone vibrated, I smiled and stood up.

'is that Chloe giving you the all clear? Just be careful. I know Chloe is sweet but she is so emotionally vulnerable right now, I just don't want you getting hurt.'

I bent down and kissed gran on the cheek. 'don't worry gran, I won't'

I walked into Chloe's and found her in the snug. 'hey, you ok?' I sat next to her on the sofa. She took my hand in hers and kissed it 'Yeah I am just so tired. I don't want you to think I am being rude but I don't want to talk about it. I want you to tell me about your place' I smiled 'ok, well this is it.'

I pulled up the pictures on my phone. 'obviously I want to make it more me, so going to get a decorator in to sort it out in the next two weeks. What do you think?'

'I am thinking it must of cost you a million at least.' I started laughing no not quite that much. But it has cost enough. It's an investment, right? '

'Its erm definitely that, my god I will feel so out of place in there.'

Beca laughed, 'behave yourself, there we will get time away from the world. Our space it will be so magic, I wanted the penthouse so we could sleep under that stars and not be looked at.'

'You are too cute Mitchell. Well me and Thomas are doing alternate weeks with the children so il have them a week, he will have them a week then me then him. The kids decided that what they wanted, so guess I can come an stalk you more than I thought.' She gave me a smile. 'Not that I have got my head around that at all. The thought of not seeing them for two weeks each months makes me feel very sick'

Beca stood up. She placed her iphone by the speaker. 'Stand up and come here.' Chloe had small white fairy lights around the wood work of the snug and Beca had tuned the other lights off, it looked very romantic. As I got closer to Beca she pressed play on her phone. Mississippi by Train started to play. As she placed her hands around my waist. She rested her head on mine. 'dance with me.' In that moment, she genuinely took my breath away. My heart was racing. I found myself just swaying along with her hips, we didn't break our stance. It was like we were in our own little world, I felt a big weight from today leave me, it was replaced with a zoo of butterflies, I was a blank canvas now, and I knew things would be hard but if for every tough moment there was a moment like this then it would all be worth it.

The song finished and neither of us moved, we just breathed each other in. I could feel Beca's heartbeat against my chest. Sunday Morning by Maroon 5 started playing and we continued to dance, this time however she moved me in and out of her body through twirls. I kept giggling. 'Your smile is beautiful you know' Beca leaned in and caught the corner of my lips with hers, it was a very subtle kiss. As the song finished we sat down and snuggled up on the sofa watching an episode of the L-Word. We got though 20 minutes of it and I noticed Chloe was fast asleep in me. I manged to get myself off the sofa. I wrapped her up in a blanket. Kissed her on the top of her head. I took her keys locked the door and posted them through. I had left a pebble I had picked up from the reservoir the other day, I had forgotten to give it her but when I put my hand in my pocket I felt it. So I left it resting on the top of her chest with a note. 'I saw this and thought of you xx'


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I woke up to Siobhan shouting my name. I was in the snug with a blanket over me. I looked around to see where Beca was. It was then I noticed a pebble on me with a note. I smiled. That girl is so cute.

'Siobhan baby I am in here.' I stood up and walked into the kitchen, Siobhan and Niamh were making breakfast but Patrick was nowhere to be seen. 'where is your brother?' the girls looked up, 'no idea'

I walked up the stairs and into Patricks room. He wasn't in his room. I walked into mine and there he was on my side of the bed holding on to my hoodie. I took a picture, he looked so cute. I climbed on the bed next to him. 'Patrick baby it is mummy you going to get up for school?' I was stroking my hands through his hair, he turned over and cuddled into me. 'mummy do I have to go to school I don't feel well.' I looked down and hm and placed my hand on his head. 'you don't have a temperature' he snuggled in more 'please mummy I want to stay in bed.' It really wasn't like Patrick. Ok buddy il just ring granny grace and see if she can watch you while I take the girls.' Patrick rolled over, 'can you ask Beca to come?' I ruffled his hair, 'you like her?' he smiled 'yeah, she listens to me an she is funny' I pulled the duvet over him and walked downstairs as the girls past me on the stairs.

'girls I am just popping next door for two minutes to ask Beca a question ok?'

I walked up the path and knocked on the door, Beca opened it wearing a Batman t-shirt and a pair of Girls boxer shorts. She was squinting at the bright light. 'Hey, you ok?'

'Yeah I am sorry to ask but Patrick is unwell and I need to get the girls to school could you or Grace just watch him for me? Though he did specifically ask for you!' I giggled. Beca looked at me with a wtf expression 'really?' I nodded 'yep really!'

'ok give me a 10minutes and I will be over! You still ok to give me a lift the airport?'

'yeah Of course Becs. When I have dropped the girls off I will get back, see if your gran can watch over Patrick and I'll take you. Do you need picking up tomorrow?'

'It's all good it will be real late so I'll get gran to get me, Thanks though!'

With that I headed off home, I needed a shower before I took the girls. Once out I threw my ripped stone jeans and my grey chunky jumper on and my black boots. I dried my hair and left it down. Patrick was sleeping in my bed still. There was a knock on the bedroom door.

Beca popped her head around the door. 'Hey, you ok?'

'hey, yeah I will be back in about 30mns that ok?' Beca looked at me. 'Can I have a quick word before you go?' she pointed to the en suite. She shut the door behind her. 'Bec what's up?' she smiled and placed her hands on my waist. She leaned in and whispered in my ear 'nothing is up just want to kiss you, with that I felt her tongue run along my bottom lip. Before I knew it, we were caught up in a very passionate kiss. I pulled away, I was a little out of breath. 'wow' Bec looked at me an smiled. 'wow, back at you, you erm suit that jumper very much' I giggled 'just like you suit your girly boxers' I winked at her as I walked back in to my room.

'il be back in about 30, make sure the kettle is on, when I get back! Any problems ring me!' I walked out the room and head down to the girls.

Chloe left the room and I was stood in the doorway of her en suite. I looked over to her bed, Patrick looked so small and innocent lying in such a big bed, the fact he was hugging his mum's hoodie was super cute. I walked over and sat on the end of the bed. Her room has light grey walls and pure white bedding. She had one wall that was covered in polaroid pictures it looked amazing. She had little fairy lights entwined around the headboard. She had some candles dotted around too, cotton fresh fragrance. It was a very clean, relaxed room. Very Chloe.

Suddenly Patrick shot up out of bed, breathless shouting 'mum, mum' I moved closer to him, 'Patrick its ok mate, it's me Beca, your mum has taken your sisters to school, you ok?' He started crying and grabbed hold of me, so tight. 'hey hey, come on what's the matter, I played with his hair while he tried to calm down. 'Patrick, you ok?' he looked at me 'I had a bad dream' I cuddled him 'What happened in your dream?' he scrunched his eyes tight. Then opened them. 'I had a dream that mummy didn't want me anymore and she made me stay with Dad all the time.' My heart broke for him. 'well that was a silly dream wasn't it, your mummy would never leave you, would she? She loves you all the world and a little bit more, you are her little man. She told me you are a brilliant dancer, is that true?' He went all shy. 'I like dancing its cool, I like music too'

'Can I tell you a secret Patrick?'

'Yeah I am the best at keeping secrets'

'well I am going to meet Little Mix later, and they are going to work with me, so If you look after mummy and do the things she asks you then I will see if you can meet the girls'

'WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW' he screamed, 'really?'

'yeah really, but you can't tell anybody ok?' With that I heard the front door open and talking, sounded like my Gran and Chloe. 'I promise Beca I won't tell'

The bedroom door opened and Chloe looked at me 'You ready? Everything ok? Your Gran is on her way up so that I can grab breakfast with you before you go'

Chloe looked at Patrick 'hey little man you ok? She jumped on the bed and cuddled him so tight. 'yeah mummy I am ok, am I staying with Granny Grace?'

'yeah just while mummy takes Beca to the airport so she can go to work, she is back tomorrow night though!'

'Ok, Beca don't forget to ask them for me!' his little face was lit up, I smiled and lent in 'Of course I won't!' I winked at him and he chuckled.

'right Beca lets go, Patrick see you in a few hours mummy loves you all the world' Beca looked at me 'an a little bit more, isn't that right Chloe?' I looked at her quizicle, 'of course' Patrick snuggled into Chloe's hoodie with a big smile.

Me and Beca walked into Graces. 'Bec, what was all that about?'

'When you took the girls to school he woke up screaming for you, had a bad dream. Said he dreamt you didn't want him anymore and he had to stay with his dad all the time. So I told him that was silly and that you loved him all the world and a little bit more.'

She pushed the door open into Grace's 'you are something else Mitchell, I will have some time with him when I get back an make sure he is ok. I erm need some advice. Yesterday, Thomas asked could he take the children away on Friday for two weeks. I said I would think about it. I have never had a week away from any of them, never mind two weeks. I want to say no, you can have them for a week but two is too much, but am I being fair?'

She was leaning back on the kitchen counter. 'of course, you are being fair, he should understand that. Surely.' Chloe looked genuinely worried about telling him no, she sighed 'I could do with a holiday myself, it's been so long, and not having any money with three kids is a night mare. I mean Thomas said yesterday he will support me and the children with things until I get sorted with a job, but I hate that he feels the need to do that.'

She looked so sad. 'just an idea, and I will have to check my schedule but erm if he takes them for a week then we could always go to mine for a week?' Chloe frowned, 'Becs we would never all fit in your apartment. The toaster popped up startling us both. I pulled the pop tarts out trying not to burn myself. 'no not my apartment my place in LA.'

'What!, Becs could never afford that the fights themselves are ridiculous, nice idea though' Chloe sighed. 'Clo, you don't need anything, I will sort it all out, I have like a zillion air miles we can use for you and the children. You won't need anything when you are there.'

Chloe has a mouthful of pop tart, she swallows quick, burning her lip in the process. 'Becs that's too much. We would need spends, etc'

I walked up the her and placed my hands on her waist. 'Clo, all you need to do is pack and bring your passports. I am Not taking No for an answer, and I am clearing that week in my diary, Little Mix can wait. You and the children will need some time to relax with everything that's going on. Gran can come too, lord knows the last time she came to mine'

Chloe lent in and kissed me. She smiled 'come on or you will miss your flight.'

I looked up, 'so is that a yes?' I winked at her. 'it's a let me think about it, does your face always get you what you want?' I bit down on my lip, Chloe remained very close to me. 'not my face no' I let out a cheeky laugh. Then leant in and kissed Chloe passionately.

I became so lost in Beca's kiss, all thoughts through my head were how much I wanted her in so many ways. I still couldn't figure any of this out. Where were all these feelings coming from, it was so hard not being able to talk about it to anybody else too but more to the point how had we not ended up in bed together, the tension was unreal at times. I would find myself so turned on it hurt, yet when that happened she was hardly making any effort. This girl had me hook line sinker. Yet I hardly knew her. I pulled away from the kiss. 'come on airport' she smirked into my lips. 'This elephant in the room is sure hard to forget, right?' I swallowed hard, bit my lip and whispered into Becs ear 'Airport' I walked towards the door and opened the car up. It was real sunny and I placed my sunglasses on and hit play on my mp3. Music started to fill the car, 'Nowhere to run' by Martha Reeves and The Vandellas. I turned it up as Beca jumped in the passenger seat. 'What a track, she looked across with such a smile, her sunglasses on and started singing in to her water bottle.

Next up, 'Suddenly I See' by KT Tunstall came blasting through the speakers. Beca started laughing. Looked over, 'what's so funny?' she looked and bit her lip as she started to belt out the track.

'You can see she's a beautiful girl

She's a beautiful girl

And everything around her is a silver pool of light

The people who surround her feel the benefit of it

It makes you calm

She holds you captivated in her palm…' I felt myself going red. An found myself joining in as we both hit the chorus.

The track finished, Beca placed her hand on my leg 'the irony of that track' she said with a wink.

I laughed. The rest of the journey consisted of us singing at the top of our voices, she certainly knew how to make me chuckle. Her voice was so beautiful too. I pulled up at the drop off point. She looked at me as she unclipped her seatbelt 'you be ok?'

'Yeah Becs I will be fine, I am going to tell Thomas he can't have the children for two weeks and see what happens. Tonight, when everyone is in bed I am going to just read my book and relax. Make sure you have an exciting time with the Little Mix girls. An I will see you tomorrow at some point.'

Beca squeezed the top of my leg, my insides went off like a firework. 'I will message you when I get there. Make sure you do relax tonight and I will take you for lunch tomorrow.'

With that Beca left the car and walked in to the airport. Suddenly, the car felt a very lonely place. I called up Thomas and asked him to meet me at home.

I arrived back to find Grace in the kitchen making a drink. 'hiya Chloe love, Beca get off ok?'

'yeah she said she will drop us a message when she gets there, how has Patrick been?'

Grace placed a black tea in front of me. 'he has fallen back asleep love' I sighed and sat down on the sofa. 'Everything ok love? How you are holding up?' I looked down. 'Honestly Grace my head is such a mess. An I should not discuss any of it with you really especially as most of it is Beca related.' Grace looked over at me 'Chloe love I know my Rebeca, and I know for a fact you two are trying to keep things off limits, mainly because that's what I told you both to do. An I really meant it. However, I am not blind, I know you are having your little rendezvous, and what you get up to in those is none of my business however, if what you have becomes common knowledge right now just think of the implications, your relationship with the children, Thomas and his parents are so important just try to keep things calm. It has only been just a week. Trust me you need more than a week to get to know my Beca properly. Even I am not privy to some things with her, as after her mum died she stopped talking about feelings etc. Hence why when her marriage broke down she never told me.'

I took a sip of my tea 'I know Grace and I am so afraid about how much of my head she has taken up, it is like she is some legal high that I can't get enough of. An I know she should of, but she has and I don't know what to do.' At that point, there was a knock at the door. It was Thomas.

'I will be on my way love, we can finish our chat later.' With that she kissed me on the cheek and left through the front door.

'You wanted me?' Thomas said as he stood in the hallway. 'erm yeah I wat to talk to you about the children's holiday, I don't really want to spend more than a week away from them, so I cannot grant 2weeks I am sorry it would kill me.'

He didn't look very happy 'Clo this is so stupid, they will be with me mum an dad.' I swallowed 'I know but I have never been away from them for that long and I am not about to start now. So, you can have them from this Friday until the following Friday, as I want to take them away myself.'

'How are you going to take them away? With what money, as I am not paying. An If that is the case where you going? We may as well all go together instead of a week here then, a week there. Let's just do a two-week holiday and mum and dad can come too. Makes sense.'

'No way Thomas, I am not going on a two-week holiday with you your mum, dad and the children. We have just told them we have separated. How would that then look, they would be so confused. Plus, I want a holiday with them.'

'Chloe where are you even going to take them? where are you getting the money from? Last time I checked I paid for everything?'

He was stood there with this stupid smug look on his face, for a second I got distracted as my phone lit up with Beca ringing. Shit I so wanted to answer but I didn't want Thomas to see my face when i heard her voice. 'you not getting that?' I picked my mobile up and answered, 'Hiya Beca, everything ok?'

I could tell by Chloe's voice that Thomas must have been there. 'yeah just wanted to say I have landed safe. I can tell you are busy so I will call you later.'

'Okey dokey no problem see you soon' with that I put the phone down. I felt so cold putting the phone down like that on Beca. 'so, where are you going with our children.'

Without thinking I turned around and snapped 'Los Angeles.' Thomas frowned at me 'oh yeah Chloe, you Won the lottery or something? You couldn't afford it'. Those comments were really getting on my nerves. 'Beca is taking us to see her house in the hills there. We are going for a week with the children and it is all on her. So that's another reason you are not having the children for two weeks. Anyway, I didn't think we were going to argue with each other?' He stood by the back door and turned around. 'you mean to say some lesbian from the states has known you a week is taking you and my children to LA and she is paying? What's in it for her? Seriously Chloe, don't tell me'

'You are meant to say, 'oh how fantastic the children will love that how kind.'

'never going to happen Chloe, she is after something in return, have you been with her?'

'WHAT? No I have not BEEN with her. Sometimes Thomas I have no idea who you are. You are so jackal and Hyde. I will see you Friday morning, now get out.'

'Charming this getting kicked out of your own house.'

'As soon as I have a Job Thomas I am moving me and the Children out of here somewhere else and we can sell the house. 50/50 split and that way you cannot use any of this I am paying for you its my house bollocks. An by the way she isn't a lesbian' He gave me this look, and I didn't like it. I slammed the door shut. He has some mental health issues I am sure of it. I mean who was that as it wasn't the Thomas that was here the other day. I called his dad.

So, I made it to the studio, caught up with the girls which was great however I had been informed I had several things I needed to organise before I could leave. I knew I wasn't going to make my flight, so I cancelled it and re booked for in a few days' time. I would have to go shopping for some clothes and stuff and I needed to contact Chloe and Gran, and I needed a hotel.

I picked up few bits and arrived at a holiday inn just near the O2, I wasn't bothered about staying somewhere that was going to cost a fortune because they could charge what they wanted. A holiday inn was good bye me. I opened the door to my room, looked at the clock. It was 8pm. Shit I need to ring gran.

'Hello Beca, you ok? I have been waiting for your call'

'yeah Gran I am ok, I don't need you to pick me up, I must stay for a few days unfortunately, you know how it can be. So, I should be back Wednesday or Thursday. I have had to go buy some clothes and stuff as I didn't have anything with me, everything ok there?'

'Oh Beca you are joking, what a nightmare love, you ok? You sound tired?'

'Yeah Gran it is, but I have told them that we can start to plan things next week, but the week after that I want it off as I want to go back to LA and I want you, Chloe and the children to come with me. They need a break, so do you and I am not taking no for an answer, bring William if you like too. You aren't paying for anything either. While you are away the guys will re-do your kitchen, and decorate. An I am shattered going to have a shower and an early night.'

'Rebeca you cannot just dictate things like that to me honey'

'erm you are my Gran and I just did, let me show you my place in LA its new and enjoy a break away. You always give me what I need and I want to do the same back.'

'okey okey I will speak with William and does Thomas know Chloe is going away with the children? Infact does Chloe know she is going away?'

'excellent, an she hasn't said yes in a roundabout way yet but she will, she needs it.'

'well I would check before anything else is sorted, and go from there. For now, though get yourself to bed and have a good sleep. I love you'

'love you more Gran'

With that the phone went down and I hit the shower. Once I was out I just put a dressing gown on and I ordered some room service. I messaged Chloe as I sat back on the bed.

I spent a good hour on the phone to Thomas's dad about his behaviour and my concerns. He understood and said he would speak with him and from now on for me to just go through him and not Thomas himself. He said he would pick and drop off the children and not Thomas. I spent some time with Patrick and he told me about his nightmare. We watched some Step Up movies as he loves them before we had to get Niamh and Siobhan. I hadn't heard from Beca, but figured she was mad busy and she would message when she could. I picked up the girls who were so chatty and giddy I swear they had been fed sugar all day.

Once they were all in I started to make tea with them. They loved it when we all cooked together. We were making our own Pizzas and then the girls said they wanted to go for a walk around the reservoir. We did that and spent time skimming stones and laughing. We took some great pictures of the four of us. I sent one to Beca telling her we were having a blast. The biggest laugh was when Niamh lost her footing and fell in a puddle soaking herself. She was not impressed sitting in the car with no clothes on wrapped up in my coat. Once we were back in it was bath time and then we sat downstairs drinking hot chocolate.

As we all sat snuggled up, I thought I best explain their Grandad picking them up and the holidays.

'Today Daddy came round, and him and mummy had a disagreement, but it is all ok now, but it means that when you stay with daddy, Grandad will pick you up from here and then drop you off. Ok? And on Friday Grandad will be picking you all up from school as Grandad, Granny and Daddy are taking you away for the week on holiday.' They all went quiet. Niamh 'mummy where are we going on our holiday and are we going on a big plane?' I wiped the chocolate from around her mouth. 'I have no idea Niamh as soon as I know I will let you know ok?' she looked to Siobhan 'will you make sandcastles with me Siobhan?' Siobhan smiled, 'yeah of course, or we could bury Patrick when he is sleeping' they started laughing. Siobhan looked at me 'mum what are you going to do when we are away?' I swallowed hard. I hadn't thought about it, what was I going to do?

'well I thought I would help Beca move in to her new house in the city and get ready and pack for our holiday.'

Siobhan looked at me confused 'you and Beca are going on holiday?'

I smiled 'yeah we are and Grace, You, Niamh and Patrick. When you get from holidays with Daddy, you are coming away with Mummy. Beca said that we can all go to her house in Los Angeles in America and stay for a week and she will show us all around, what do you think?'

Well I have never seen anything like it the kids were screaming and jumping up and down. I had recorded them on the sly it was so amazing to see. They were so happy!

Niamh looked across at her brother and sister, 'come on, lets go and plan' with that they all headed off upstairs. They gave me hugs and kisses on the way past. Patrick hugged me 'mum you are the best'

I smiled and stared to tidy up. It was about 9pm and I hadn't heard from Beca still. I made a drink and sat down, just as I did, my phone lit up.

Beca- Hey You, hope you had a good day? I won't be back tonight too much stuff to get done. Will probably be about Wednesday or Thursday I will be back now. Gutted. Let me know when you are free and I will skype you. Bec xx

I was gutted, proper gutted. I hit reply.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I was lying on my bed, stomach full of my lasagne. Room service was the best at times.

Chloe-Hey, yeah today was good I sent you a photo and I have a video of when I told the children about going to see your house for the week. They went crazy. Ring whenever you like I am just listening to music while I read. Clo xx

Before I knew it Beca was there on the screen in front of me. She only had a dressing gown on and it certainly brought a smile to my face.

'Hey, so you are coming to mine now then?' she smirked.

I rolled my eyes 'An you said ring not facetime, and how could I resist LA right?' she laughed. 'you ok you look a little tired?' I took a sip of my wine. 'I had a war of words with Thomas today. He is such an idiot at times. So much so by the end of the conversation I had kicked him out the house. Before that though he had kicked off that I wouldn't let him have the children for two weeks and he flipped when I said that we were going to yours. So I told him once I have a job I am going to rent my own place for me and the kids and I want that house sold and we can split it 50/50. He isn't even coming to pick the children up or drop them off his dad is. I rang him after Thomas left and said I wasn't having his miss hit behaviour. So just worrying about finding somewhere I can afford etc. Just not prepared to put up with all his crap. Sorry for my rant.'

I looked at her, Clo had no idea how beautiful she was, 'Well that certainly taught him to mess with you didn't it!' I winked at Chloe and she gave me a big smile.

'well I am hoping the holiday and extra time with his family will help. His dad said the doctor has put him on medication. Reckons he has had a breakdown. I feel for him, but can't help but feel a bit mad. I mean he cheated twice yet I find myself feeling sorry for him. I mean that isn't right. Anyhow enough about me, how was work?'

I sighed, 'well it was busy! And loud, those girls are such a bunch. I genuinely had a laugh with them though and some of their new tracks will be instant hits I have no doubt. Oh I forgot to ask, are you free next Saturday? Just Kate messaged me to say she knew I was over this way and she is playing a Gig at liverpool academy and wondered if I wanted to go and meet up, so thought if you were free you could come too?' I took a sip of my coffee.

Chloe frowned. 'Kate who?'

'oh shit yeah sorry, KT Tunstall.'

The look on Chloe's face was epic, 'hang on a minute, you are asking me to join you at KT Tunstall gig in Liverpool and to hang out with KT? Are you for real? Seriously.'

I couldn't help but laugh at how much Chloe had reacted.

'OMG chill out haha it is no biggy, so I am guessing it is a yes then?'

'Hell yeah it is a yes!' Chloe screamed!

'Well Chlo do me a favour, when we go this gig, do not scream like this. I will die, Kate is just Kate.'

'Beca, seriously who are you? Right name me 5 people you have worked with see if I know them, I mean if I put your name in google what will come up?'

'woah woah woah do not be putting my name in to google. You can ask me a million questions, just don't google me.' Chloe looked at me and smirked while running her hands through her hair.

'ok, 5 people you have worked with and 5 things that nobody knows about you.'

'You drive a hard bargain…ok. 5 people I have worked with are Kate obvs, Little Mix, Katy Perry, James Bay and Coldplay. 5 things about me…I hated my arm hair so much I have waxed them that much I hardly have any. I sobbed my heart out watching Inside Out. My mum died when I was 8 and I have an unhealthy obsession with Pop Tarts. Well, that's me…erm I do believe you owe me 5 things about you.'

I couldn't believe Beca had worked with those people no wonder she has such a house. Jesus Grace had never said. I couldn't believe it. Her five things were super cute though, except her mum passing away. That must have been so hard. I decided it was best to fangirl on the inside about who she had worked with an thought I would just play on the 5 things.

'5 Things about me, well, I am not actually a red head…. I am a natural blonde. I love to glow stick, I have battled with an eating disorder since I was a teen. My middle name is Anne, and I hate spiders.'

I couldn't believe it….'you are a not a redhead? Seriously?'

Chloe was laughing so hard. 'nope Becs I am a blonde I just dye it. I dyed it red once an I liked it, so carried on doing so. It's weird when I go back to blonde, don't feel like me. Anyway, where on earth are you up to with this L-word, I swear I can't keep up with these women! An no way would that Shane be coming anywhere near me!'

'woah woah woah don't be changing the subject…I expect to see blonde photos sent to my phone in the next 2minutes. As for your eating disorder you ok? I don't want to be a patronising idiot when asking like. An glow sticking? What is that?'

I had noticed Chloe had become quiet shy, 'I will send you one over in a minute, I have always been blonde when I had the children as you can't dye your hair, soon as I have had the children I have gone straight back red. I erm suffered with bulimia from when I was 14 until well, erm it is ongoing, I go through periods and I have structured coping mechanisms. It's all lame really, I should get a grip. An glow sticking is awesome Youtube it, On that happy note I am going to bid you good night. I am shattered and you will need sleep.'

I didn't want to answer any more questions about my eating I had been great recently and hadn't had any meltdowns so I needed to keep it that way. Talking didn't help me it made it all worse really, so I tended to just ask for support from my GP. Also I didn't want Beca to think I was a freak with self-confidence issues. Even though that is what I am.

'ok Chloe take it easy and have a good sleep, I'll message you. I should be home to later than Thursday. I can't wait for us to go to Liverpool this weekend'

I blew her a kiss 'night Beca, and I can't wait either, its well exciting!' with that we hung up. I cried, why did I tell her about my eating disorder, I am such an idiot, she is so going to think I am a basket case I cried into my pillow.

Once Chloe hung up I sat there looking at her picture she had sent with the Children. She amazed me, how strong was she? Why did I have to ask her about her eating disorder? I am such an idiot, I mean she never asked about mum, she could of but she didn't. There goes me straight to the point asking about her eating. As soon as I asked I knew she would put the phone down, what have I done.

I typed a message. Then I sat stomach churning waiting for a response.

-Beca: Hey Chlo, I am so sorry I asked you questions, I should never have pushed you on what you had said. I am so sorry. You are so beautiful, an I cannot wait to get back to run my hand through your gorgeous red hair, to feel how soft your skin is and to feel your lips against mine when we kiss. You have no idea what meeting you has done to me. You are perfect. Sweet dreams xx

I read Becs message through my teary eyes and my heart swelled. I had so over reacted, this woman was unreal. I typed a message back.

Chloe- Hey Becs, you don't have to apologise, it was my fault I opened up and then got scared you would think I was some sort of basket case. Don't apologise for anything there is no need. I cannot wait to smell your perfume on your neck and to stare into those stunning eyes of yours, you have my head in a spin. Rebeca my almost lover, I will meet you for a pop tart in your dreams. Xx

I saw Chloe was typing, as soon as the message came through this feeling of warmth spread through me as I read it, then the second the 'my almost lover' went through my mind I felt a massive explosion in fact I have no idea to describe what I felt. What I did know was that I had never felt it before. Two sleeps and I would be back, they better go fast.

It was finally Thursday morning. I had packed all my stuff up and had two weeks before everything started back in Dublin. So, I had the weekend in Liverpool planned and then next week to move into my place in Dublin, then a week back home and then back to start work. My diary was crazy busy. However, in less than 4 hours I could catch up with Gran, pick up the keys to my apartment and most of all catch up with Chloe and the children. I had hardly spoken to her since the other night. I had explained and was hoping she understood. However, she hadn't replied to my message last night, or my morning one. It wasn't like her, I picked everything up scanned the room and headed to reception to check out. As I jumped in the taxi my phone lit up.

Gran-Beca what time is your flight landing? Chloe wants to pick you up, however her phone has broken so she can't message you.

A sense of relief washed over me as I read the message. At least knew I hadn't upset her.

I typed a quick message back

Rebeca-Ace, Can you tell Clo my flight lands at 14.40ish. See you then Gran. I missed you xxx

I grabbed a coffee in departures put my headphones on and watched the world go by.

'Chloe, Beca said she gets in around 14.40' I picked up my bag. 'are the children going to Thomas tonight or tomorrow?'

Chloe was putting dishes in the dishwasher and tidying up the kitchen from breakfast. 'awww ok thanks Grace, she ok? And no I have them tonight, our last night. I am stressing out about it to be honest. I have never been away from them.' I sat at the kitchen table. I closed my eyes.

'Beca is fine, as for the children they will be with their dad and grandparents they will be fine. Time to have a break love and enjoy yourself. Now I am going for lunch with William so I pick the children up while you go and get Beca ok?'

I looked up at Grace. I took a deep breath. 'thank you'

Grace placed her hand on my shoulder 'Not a problem' at that moment there was loud banging heard from outside.

'what on earth is that' Chloe said as she headed to the window at the front of the house. There stood a guy with a van hammering a for sale sound into her garden.

Chloe flew out of the door. 'You have got to be kidding me'

'Excuse me, erm what are you doing? This house isn't for sale?'

This small young guy looked down at his papers and then back at me. 'erm it is I am afraid. Went on my list this morning.' With that he got back in his car and off he went.

I was burning with anger on the inside. I Walked back into the house poor Grace as I ranted at her.

'I cannot believe him, I am going to kill him. Who does he think he is.' I was stomping round the kitchen. Grace took her jacket off and sat down.

'chloe, love sit down a minute.' With that I started to sob. 'this isn't just his house Grace, it is half mine, how has he even done that?'

Grace was so calm. 'Chloe call him up and calmly ask him if he is aware of it?

With that I picked my phone up and called him.

'Thomas, have you put the house up for sale? An if so, you have not had my permission.'

'Hiya Chlo, and I do have permission because I own 55% and you 45% remember?'

I felt sick to the pit of my stomach. 'even so Thomas our children are here. It's their home you can't just do this without telling them. 'look Chloe, you said you wanted your own place, this makes it possible. 'yeah, I also said I need a job, in case you forgot you would not let me get one. Even if I get my own place how am I going to afford to bloody live there. You are just an arsehole.' With that I put the phone down.

Gran- Hey Beca, not sure if you have taken off yet, but there is a situation with Chloe. Thomas has put the house up for sale without asking her. So, when she picks you up be aware she is very emotional. Xx

'Grace what am I going to do?' I started sobbing.

'firstly, you are going to go upstairs, wash your face, re-apply your make up. Spray your perfume and then you are going to go and pick my beautiful granddaughter up from the airport. I will pick the children up and we can come back and have a big tea together before they leave tomorrow. Then when they have gone to bed, me, you and Beca are going to crack the bloody drinks open and will do some house and job hunting. This will all be ok. Think of the children. If they see mum flapping and being stressed out they will worry. You don't want that right? Plus, you are going away for the night tomorrow, with my granddaughter who I have no doubt will have surprises in store for you. She is behaving like a love sick puppy around you, so as much as I want you two to take your time figuring out what your feelings are about, I also think you just need to switch off and let her spoil you. An if she doesn't I will whip her in to touch.'

I wiped my tears away and laughed. 'Grace, am so glad I met you, thank you for everything you do for me and the children.' With that I gave her such a hug.

'I am off to see William before I pick the children up, be safe and let me know when you have Beca.'

'I will do, do you think we could do something with that sign so the children don't see it yet?'

I looked over at Grace who opened the cupboard under the sink, she pulled out a bin bag. 'leave that with me'

I chuckled and walked up the stairs.

I was stunned when I got the message from Gran and went immediately online and there was the house. Only a picture of the outside. And a guide price of 325euros, which was about 370 dollars. I couldn't imagine what Chloe was feeling and didn't want to message her, especially if she was going to be driving. I didn't want her to be distracted and upset behind the wheel. I knew I was going to fix the problem though.

I rang Jesse.

'Hey Becs you ok?'

'Yeah Jes I am ok thanks but I have a bit of a favour to ask?'

'wouldn't expect anything else Mitchell.' He was laughing.

'oi quit it. Well there is this house up for sale next to Gran and I want to buy it but don't want the owners to know it is me who is buying it. So, figured you could sort it for me? You know how to do all that an I don't, I am rubbish at things like that. Also I don't want the current occupiers to move out.'

I heard Jesse laugh.

'what is so funny?'

'erm doesn't happen to be the house of that girl you have been crushing on does it?'

I went quiet, I had been rumbled. 'erm no, anyway can you sort it?'

'whatever Beca, I will believe you millions wouldn't. Yeah leave it with me.'

'Thanks, you are the best. See you next week. I am coming back for a week, with Gran, erm Chloe and her children. A holiday. Figured they may need one'

'wow Becs you really are girl crushing aren't you! Look forward to meeting her'

'Shut it. And see you next week.'

With that I boarded the plane. The flight was just over an hour. So, I put my headphones on an relaxed off into the world of London Grammar.

I looked in the mirror a million times before jumping In the car and heading to the airport. I was so excited to see Beca. Yes I had only known her just over a week, but I hadn't seen her for 3 days and it had felt like part of me was missing. I mean how does that even happen? I had been with Thomas nearly every day for ten years, we were married, had children together, grew up together and I wasn't missing him like this. I mean my tummy was like it was full of butterflies as I started the engine. It was raining and all a bit miserable. 'Holding you' by Great good fine ok started playing through the speakers. I couldn't help but smile. I heard my phone go off with a few messages, figured I would pick them up as I got to the airport. It was about a 40min drive and the traffic was all good. I enjoyed the drive to be honest. Singing along to the music on my ipod really chilled me out. Grace was right I needed to focus on making everything ok for the children. Me and Thomas made them a promise of being friends and I needed to keep that for them regardless of what he did.

I pulled into the pick up point at the airport and pulled my phone out.

Beca-Just landed I am grabbing a coffee il get you one too. See you in a min xx

The smile that radiated from my face reading this was just not normal. Those butterflies had come back with vengeance. Next message.

Thomas-Sorry about the house Clo, I was angry and upset with what you said. I will withdraw it off the market.

This made me even more angry. I don't think so Thomas you can sell that bloody house and I will make it without you.

Chloe- Thomas, don't worry about it. Don't take it off the market. It needs to be done so what's the point prolonging it. I am sure I will pick up a job no problem. So let's sell up and sort the finance out.

As I hit send, there was a tap on the window. My stomach flipped like never before. There stood Beca. Hair down and wavy. She had a navy-blue jumper on and a light brown leather jacket on. Her smile was so big. 'you going to open the door or what red? She winked. In that moment i came alive. Jumped out the car and ran the other side. I smiled at her as I took the two coffee's out of her hand. 'Hey.'

'Hey to you too.' Beca opened the car boot and placed her case inside. 'Clo, ready?'

She walked back passed me and ran her hand along the bottom of my back, before picking up her coffee off me. As she did that she leant in and kissed me softly on the cheek, 'You smell nice'

I swallowed hard and felt my face go a little red. I climbed into the car and placed my coffee in the cup holder. As I started the engine 'magic' by Coldplay came on. Internally I was like shit. The lyrics in this. Great.

'Oh I love this track Chlo. Chris Martin is such a nice guy. An this is a beautiful track, good choice.'

As I climbed into Chloe's car something was a little different. Not in a bad way though. It was like there was even more electricity between us. I needed to take her on a date. I mean how are we going to get through staying in a hotel in Liverpool together. Jesus, when right now I wanted nothing more than her to drive us back and to take her to my place. It wasn't that I wanted Chloe, I needed her. To feel her touch, her breath on me, her eyes meeting mine, to take the smell of her perfume in, to feel her tongue with mine. I rolled my eyes. Stop it Beca stop. I bit my lip and turned to Chloe.

'Chlo.'

'Yeah Beca, you want me to change my playlist I know my music taste is a bit off the wall.' Chloe went to change the tracks. I placed my hand on top of hers. 'Leave the music, its good. You know tomorrow?' We were stopped at the traffic lights as she turned to me. 'yeah, god I cannot wait. I have never been to Liverpool, I hear it is awesome though. Can we do the Beatles tour?'

I smiled across at her conscious of the lights changing 'Good, and of course we can, I have one condition though?' the lights changed and as Chloe drove she looked at me 'ok, what is the condition?'

Suddenly i became so nervous. My throat went all dry and I found myself playing with the edge of my jumper. I felt Chloe's hand reach out to mine. I looked up 'I wondered if after the Beatles tour you would like to come on a date with me?' Oh shit. There it was it was now out there.

Chloe turned the music down. The car went very quiet. I swear I could hear my own heart beating so loud. 'Beca, I would love to go on a date with you.' All of a sudden, the two of us became so giddy. 'Awesome, I can't wait.'

With that Chloe hit the volume button and 'feels' by Calvin Harris started blasting out. 'neither can I' Chloe's phone started ringing 'Thomas' Chloe sighed. She used her hands free 'Hey Thomas.'

'Chloe, you sure about this house thing, I mean I am so sorry for what I did but I was just pissed that you were taking our children to the states yet I was paying all bills and shit. A obviously you hardly know that Beca, I mean what if something happens while you are over there with her and you need to get back you won't be able too.'

Chloe whispered 'sorry' to me. Not that she needed too. I took hold of her hand. I ran my thumb over her knuckles.

'Thomas. Trust me, I may not have known Beca for that long, however she is Grace's granddaughter and I know that me and the children will be fine over in LA for a week. I know you are angry but I am angry with you. You were so lovely that evening when we told the children what would happen when we separated. An that was the Thomas that I knew. But this horrible vindictive Thomas is not somebody I want my children around. So if I have any more of this utter bull shit from you while we are sorting the house out then I will go through the courts in regard to the children. Do you understand?'

'Chloe there is no fucking need for that.'

'I think there is so stop being such a dick. No if you don't mind I have plans with our children before you take them away for the week tomorrow. Bye.'

With that I hung up and pulled into my drive. I looked at Beca, 'sorry about that, he is just being such an idiot.'

I stepped out of the car and took my case. 'I know he is. It wont be forever. I am just goin to put this in Grans and then should I come over? Gran said something about helping you house and job hunt tonight?'

'yeah bless her she said when the children are in bed we can try to get me a job and a house. I mean I have no idea how I will do that but hey. I will catch you in a minute?'

I could see the worry on Chloe's face over the house. I just didn't want to tell her she didn't have to worry, as I was buying the house and I was giving her the keys when I got them. However, I also did not want her to know it was me that bought it.

'Actually Chloe can you come into Grans for a minute.'

'yeah sure Becs.'

I pushed the door open as I dragged my case through and Chloe followed behind. As she shut the door. I turned around and placed my hands on her hips before pushing her back into the door.

My heart was beating so fast I leant in 'Chloe if I don't kiss you I am going to explode' I placed her hair behind her ear and before I knew it our lips were clashing with each other. My stomach just went insane. I ran my tongue across her bottom lip and she allowed my tongue to meet hers. Before I knew it Chloe had taken my jacket off and I had my hands on her bare skin just above her waist. I desperately wanted to lift her top up but I knew I needed to stop. I pulled away just as Chloe ran her hand across the waist band of my jeans. I gave out a moan that clearly made her aware how much I wanted that and more. Breathless I tried to talk 'Chlo, we have to stop.' She pressed her forehead against mine 'you Mitchell are such a tease.' She winked, pulled her jumper down and opened the door 'ready?' I bit my lip, took a deep breath and gave chloe eye contact 'I was born ready' Chloe started laughing. 'I hope you realise you cant just wine and dine me tomorrow and think that represents a first date? An don't think because I have been watching L-Word episodes that you can get me a drink and do a shane and have me screaming your name by the end of the night. Never going to happen, I take my time to get to know you properly.'

'Don't worry Chlo, you wont be screaming my name the same night as our date. However tonight when you are in bed alone I think you maybe tempted too, based on how turned on you are right now.' With that Chloe went bright red and hit me in the arm. 'whatever Becs'


	12. Chapter 12

I giggled as I closed the door and followed Chloe up her path. She entered the house and all you heard was Niamh. 'Mummy, Mummy Mummy guess what guess what?' she threw herself at Chloe who scooped her up in her arms spun her around and gave her a big kiss. 'we are going on holiday tomorrow aren't we, Daddy told Patrick we are going to see Mickey Mouse. And that is right by where you lived when you were little, are you coming now too?' Chloe looked at me with such sadness in her eyes. She took a deep breath 'when did daddy tell you that?' Niamh climbed down and looked up at her mum 'before. He rang us on skype to tell us, with granny and grandad. We are going on a big plane. Are you coming mummy?' I could see Chloe just wanted to cry. 'no beautiful little girl I am not coming. Mummy has things she needs to do.' Niamh looked really disappointed. 'Right Niamh mummy needs to use the bathroom, show Beca when Grace is.' With that she walked upstairs. I knew she had gone so the children didn't see her upset. That guy really was a dick.

'Hey Gran.' My Gran was currently doing some painting with Siobhan and Patrick was being Patrick dancing to the music they had on. 'Oh come here Beca' with that Gran gave me such a tight hug. 'how was work?' at that point Patrick noticed I had walked in. Within seconds he was shouting across the room above the music. 'BECA did you see them? Did you tell them I love them?' A smile filled my face, I forgot I had a surprise for them. 'I did Patrick do you think you could tidy up and make a den in the snug and I will show you a surprise?' He jumped up so excited 'I am on it! Siobhan come on, clean up!' I looked across at Siobhan. She caught me eyeline. I smiled and asked her so come over. 'Siobhan do you think you could keep your mum upstairs for the next 30minutes?'

She nodded. 'yes Beca' I gave her a high five 'thanks Siobhan, now get to it'

With that she ran up the stairs. I looked over at Gran 'You heard they are off to the states then?' I took a deep breath 'yeah Chloe is crushed, she has gone upstairs, swear that guy is an idiot. Best make tonight magic with the children then.

Gran, Niamh and Patrick helped me turn the snug in to this perfect little space, we made some tents, had fair lights and candles lit. I had ordered Pizza and I had set up the ipad so you could show it on the flat screen. We had popcorn, Wine, Soda and crisps. Patrick sat down in the den 'Beca you are the coolest, I wish you lived here all the time.' Niamh quickly followed 'yeah that would be the best, can you live here now?' Gran looked at me and gave me a wink. 'Right I am off to get mummy remember what to do when she comes down ok?' They both nodded.

Jesus, I had never felt comfortable with children, I was always awkward but I knew Chloe needed this, she needed to know she was enough and that her children adored her. I walked up the stairs to see Chloe sat on her bed with Siobhan snuggled into her side while she went through baby photographs.

'Hey, you two. We were wondering if you could come downstairs, we have a surprise for you.' Siobhan looked at me and I winked and smiled. As Chloe took Siobhan's hand and walked down the stairs.

As Chloe entered the snug area, Patrick held up some papers in his hand, the first one read 'my mum Is the best because she always makes me happy' Niamh held hers out 'I love my mummy, she makes the best pancakes' Patrick swapped his and it now read 'my mum makes everything better' Niamh popped up 'I love dancing and singing with mummy she makes me smile.' Patrick shouted, 'my mum is so lucky to have a son like me!' Everyone started laughing as Chloe wiped away tears that had escaped her. Siobhan looked at Chloe. 'my mum is always there' with that all three held up posters that read My mum is my hero' at this point Chloe was sat down on a bean bag with her three children wrapped around her. I swallowed hard and Gran walked next to me and placed her hand on my shoulder. She whispered, 'So when did you fall so easily?' I looked at Gran. I frowned ' I haven't fell for anybody.' Gran chuckled 'who are you kidding.' At that point the doorbell rang and I heard Patrick scream 'PIZZA' next thing her came bombing around.

We sorted the Pizza out and everybody was sat back in the snug. 'right is everybody ready for this?'

'Yes' shouted Patrick. I hit play and sat by Gran, while Chloe was surrounded by the Children. The Little Mix girls appeared on the screen. 'Hiya Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh. Beca tells us you are big fans, and of course you too Chloe.' The children were sat star struck. 'so Beca told us that you like dancing round to our songs when you are making tea together. So we thought we could sing you a few songs tonight?'

First up- Salute- The girls sang their hearts out and the kids were singing and dancing along. Niamh Saluting was very funny. Chloe's giggle was too cute. An Patrick loved shouting out 'attention!'

Second up-Black Magic 'The Little Mix girls shouted out Siobhan we heard this next one is your favourite!' As soon as it kicked in the singing became so loud the chorus was being blasted out as they all danced in their pjs.

Third Up-Move 'Patrick you ready it is your turn to show us your moves! 'with that Patrick went for it. He near knocked himself out. Chloe was laughing so hard. Gran was laughing too. She looked over and indicated she was heading home as she had a long day. I gave her a hug and kiss and told her I would see her in the morning. That song finished and Patrick was buzzing. He looked so happy.

The girls came back on the screen. They were sat down and I tried to look away. I was sat with them on the camera. 'Right this song Beca is joining us and playing piano. Secretly get her to teach you, she is magic, but for now, let your ears in for a treat.

With that Beca on the screen started to play the piano. As the girls started singing to the lyrics and Chloe watched on. She was hooked. The unplugged version was stunning. Beca playing the piano was beautiful. She was so talented. As they got to the end of the song, Beca began to sing along with them too. Her voice as she sang had me captivated.

'I'd tell her to speak up, tell her to shout out

Talk a bit louder, be a bit prouder

Tell her she's beautiful, wonderful

Everything she doesn't see

You gotta speak up, you gotta shout out

And know that right here, right now

You can be beautiful, wonderful

Anything you wanna be

Little me'

As the song ended all the girl's high fived and turned to the camera. 'well guys enjoy your pizza and hopefully we get to meet you on our tour they all blew kisses to the screen!' The film finished. Patrick turned around to Beca and ran at her 'you are the best Beca!' Beca started to laugh as she held on to him. Niamh was so giddy and Siobhan looked at me and mouthed 'wow' I was doing my best to hold my tears in. I swallowed hard.

I stole a slice of pizza and as it was half eaten in my mouth I shouted 'Hey, Chloe I erm need to get back next door, I have somethings to sort for tomorrow. Enjoy the rest of the evening and I will see you in the morning. Patrick, Siobhan, Niamh have a fantastic trip with your Dad and I will see you when you get back!'

As I walked towards the front door I could feel Chloe walking behind me. As I stepped outside I heard her call my name. I turned around. She took hold of both my hands. 'Thank You, you are so beautiful' She pulled me in closer to her and gave me the biggest hug. She just held me for a little while before pulling back and gently kissing my cheek. You are perfect Mitchell' I smirked and pulled away, 'that's you.' She gave me a wink and i walked down the drive way. I closed the door and my phone beeped.

Beca- Fancy staying in Liverpool for another night? Come back Sunday instead of Saturday? Xx

I smiled, a warm rush went through my blood. I couldn't think of anything else I wanted more.

I typed a response.

Chloe- I think that would be perfect, guess it means I can take you on a second date then?

I left my phone on the side charging as I sat back down with the children who were rerunning the Little Mix film. I looked at them and couldn't believe they wouldn't be around for a week. I know I need to get used to this but part of my feels like it is about to die.

I sat with Gran on the decking, we had the fire pit on the go and a glass of whiskey each.

'Rebeca, can I ask you a question and I want you to be honest?'

'Yeah of course'

'Have you and Chloe become more than friends?'

I took a sip of my drink 'Nope, we have kissed a lot. I will say that but nothing more. I have asked her out on a date Saturday evening. However, I have booked an apartment for us to stay in while we are there and she will have her own room. I didn't want it to be weird.'

She put her glass down 'What you did for her and the children today was beautiful. That sounds a good idea, Don't rush the physical side of things, it is something so new to you both, get to know each other and the rest will come naturally. Where you off on your date?'

Jesus as if me and my Gran were having this discussion. I felt myself go red. I was so anxious of being intimate with Chloe on any level that even the conversation was making me nervous.

'erm well I thought I would take her for a meal in The Vincent and then there is an 80s night at the bombed-out church so figured it would be really cool to go there. We are going to stay till the Sunday now though. I mean we have KT Tunstall to go to on Friday evening too'

'Ahhhh that sounds like a nice weekend, you both need it! Make sure you have a few drinks in the Cavern, go during the day it's much better than of a night.'

'Thanks Gran, and yeah I think we do to be honest. I will place it on my list.'

We spent the next 2 hours talking about all different things and I really enjoyed it. I was making my way to bed and picked my phone up and saw Chloe's message. I typed a reply.

Beca- Oh you think I will grant you a second date? Xx

Within moments I received a reply

Chloe- Of course, I mean i have an ace up my sleeve, I am sure you can be easily persuaded.

I giggled. She was probably right.

Beca- Is that so …. Do explain. Xx

I jumped in the shower quick and climbed in to bed. I put my headphones on and picked up my phone.

Chloe- *PICTURE MESSAGE* see I told you. Easily persuaded. Xx

HOLY COW I couldn't believe my eyes. Chloe was stood in front of her mirror, in nothing but a black lace lingerie set with white spots on it. Her hair was down and she was biting her lip. How was I going to get through this weekend?! I wanted her so badly but I knew Gran was right. I also knew I was so nervous, it was like the build up to losing my virginity all over again.

Beca-Fuck. I think you should wear that on our second date *wink* xx Be ready for about 10am tomorrow. Our Flight is just after 12 so we should land in Liverpool just before 1pm. Xx

I was laughing away to myself when I received Beca's message back.

I replied and threw my pjs on before heading to bed.

My alarm went off, I didn't need it to really Niamh had jumped on my bed shouting about going to see mickey mouse. She was so excited about going to Florida. I felt sick in my stomach because in just over an hour I wouldn't see them for a week. I had never had this since I had them.

'come on trouble lets get you some breakfast before you wake the world up. Niamh started giggling. As we walked down the stairs Siobhan flowed behind and then Patrick. I sored breakfast out they all put their uniforms on and took their cases down stairs. Thomas's dad was picking them up this morning. 'Right you three all ready? Grandad has just pulled up.'

I got three shouts of yes. With that he knocked on the door. Before I knew it, I was walking with him down on the drive with my three children and their suitcases, I hated every second of this. 'right guys have the most amazing time, be good for daddy, gran and grandad ok? I expect skype calls ok? I gave them all a big hug and peppered them in kisses. Mummy loves you all so so so much' with that they all got in the car absolutely hyped up for their trip. I walked back in to the house and I cried my heart out.

I was distracted by a banging on the door. I opened it and there was a little lady stood there holding a big bunch of flowers. They were stunning. 'Hiya I have these for Chloe?' I was taken a back I hadn't received flowers for years. 'erm yeah that's me' she looked at me and smiled. 'thank You, enjoy the rest of your day.

With that I walked back in the house, there was a hand-written note.

Chlo,

They will be back before you know it. B xx

Seriously this girl was too cute for her own good. The excitement started to build for being away with her in a place that nobody knew them.

I woke up and stumbled around until I got a coffee. I ensured I had everything I needed and threw my jeans and my hoodie on. I tied my hair up and said goodbye to gran before throwing my stuff in the car.

Gran walked in to the hall way as I was leaving, Beca- Be careful ok. An remember what I said.

I gave her a massive hug. I will Gran. See you Sunday evening.

I walked to the car throwing my cases in the car and Chloe walked down the path.

She had dark denim jeans on and a lighter denim shirt. She had a pair of Timberland on and her hair was down. She looked so cute.

'you Mitchell are the cutest. Those flowers are beautiful.'

I smiled and could see she must have been crying as her eyes were red.

'I thought you may need a pick me up. You ok?'

She sat in the front of the car and turned to me. 'I will be'

With that I hit play on my playlist as we drove their airport. I knew Clo would need this time to process the children being away. So I had some pretty chilled out tracks on. War on Drugs was just perfect.

I placed my hand on to Chloe's thigh as she was in deep thought out of the window.

'You ok Clo?'

'Yeah sorry I was just thinking about the children. It feels really weird.'

'Well I am sure it isn't as weird as my conversation with Gran last night. I started to laugh would you believe she started discussing us having sex.'

At that moment Chloe's head shot round 'what?'

Exactly. That was my response. I just told her that we weren't at that point and that I was feeling very nervous about that.

'Hold on a minute. Your Gran asked you if we were having sex? An you are feeling nervous about us being intimate?'

Shit why did I say that to her!

'yeah Chlo, she asked if we were sleeping together and I explained we weren't and she said its best to wait for us to really get to know each other.'

'No way go Grace, anyway you never replied…you are nervous? How comes?'

I took a deep breath and I knew I needed to be honest.

'Chloe, I have never felt the way I do about you with anybody else before. These rushes I get through my blood, the butterflies the smiles I cannot stop the wanting to be with you or be in contact with you has just got me in a spin. You make me so nervous but in a good way, I have never wanted to be more intimate with anybody, the idea that it isn't sex, it will be something much more, like another level to a potential relationship and I have no idea what to do, I have no experience with being with a woman especially one I find ridiculously attractive. What if I get everything so wrong and you are just like oh what a let-down, god I even know you would never say that but oh I don't know I guess I am nervous I will get it wrong.

Chloe placed her hand on my thigh. 'Beca I feel exactly the same way, my god since I met you my whole life has changed, I mean my marriage is over, I need to find a house my children are away without me for the first time. An I have got feelings for a woman and that is so alien to me, but I would want to change that. You make me feel like no matter what happens everything is ok, you respect me, my god I would of allowed you to have sex with me after the first few days of meeting you, there is just this attraction I feel that I can't even put into words. I have never been with a woman before, I have been watching the L-word for tips. I understand exactly what you mean about it not being sex as I feel the same thing, but what I do know is that when it happens it happens, so let's stop saying it's too early or it's not right yet etc, when the time is right and both of us feel it then it will happen. It doesn't have to be perfect because perfect isn't real, real feelings are what matter right?'

As we drove into the airport car park I pulled into a space, turned the engine off and looked at her. Chlo, Thank You, for being so amazing. I placed my forehead on hers and we rubbed noses before we shared a very gentle kiss. 'come on, we have a flight to catch Mitchell.'

We pulled our cases through the airport and checked in.

We grabbed a coffee and some food before boarding the plane.

'Bec where are we staying?

'surprise, I have a guy picking us up at the airport, we can check in and then Kate she is doing a sound check about 4pm and then asked if we wanted to grab something light to eat? Figured we could then get changed and head out to the gig?'

'Whoa….having food with KT Tunstall? You for real?

'Yeah I am for real!' I chuckled 'Chloe she is just like me and you'

'no you have no idea how much her music has got me through so many good and bad things in my life, she has been my outlet for like 12/13 years. This is huge. When I have had relapses with eating I have always used KT's lyrics to get me through.'

Chloe went quiet.

'Hey, it is ok, I know her, we don't have to have food we can just meet her at the concert it is ok. Whatever you want to do is good by me.'

Chloe looked at me nervously 'Can I think about it?' I picked her hand up and laced her fingers between mine. 'Of course, you can'

Our flight didn't take long at all, we had both been listening to music. Figure Chlo could use the time to think. Once we landed and headed outside to be picked up it was clear that the weather in Ireland was nothing like Liverpool. There was bright sunshine and clear blue skies.

'Bec you could of said it was going to be pure sunshine'

'Chloe do you think if I knew that I would have a hoodie on?! Erm no!' both girls gave out a laugh. Beca's phone started ringing.

'ok Dave no worries see you in a sec.'

It felt so weird being somewhere else without Thomas, without the children. I couldn't remember the last time that happened. It felt good to be just Chloe but then I would feel guilty about the children.

'Chlo, Dave is here, come on we have places to go things to do!'

Dave seemed a great guy, chatty giving us advice on places to drink, eat and have fun. He was full of humour and knowledge. After about 20minutes we arrived on a cobbled street and our apartment was on the top floor of the building. I tipped Dave and Thanked Him.

I walked into reception and picked up the key. 'Come on Chloe'

Chloe had been quite quiet since the flight but I didn't want to push anything so I just carried on as normal. I knew at some point she would talk.

I opened the door to the apartment. It was stunning, full panel glass all the way around the view out on to the dock and the Mersey was to die for. Chloe stood there in awe.

'wow Beca this place is amazing, look at the view, I never realised how stunning Liverpool is.

I walked up behind her and placed my hands around her waist while resting my head on her shoulder. I kissed her shoulder gently and smiled at me. 'So what is our plan then?' Chloe looked at me. 'well you want to do a tour right? So why don't we grab a tea and head out, find a bus and go on that.'

'Yeah that sounds great. Where is our room?' I took Chloe's hands in mine and lead her to the open plan kitchen. 'I will show you in a minute, come here first and get a glass, I have a toast for us.' Chloe smiled and allowed me to fill her glass with Prosecco. I lifted my glass in the air 'To the future, may it start here' with that I took a sip of my drink and guided Chloe towards the other room.

'Right I didn't want you to think I was over stepping the mark by getting just one room. So, you have a choice you can either have your own room or you can share it is completely up to you, I wanted you to have the choice instead of just being told.'

Chloe turned around to pop her glass down on the nearby sideboard. 'Beca, you think of everything, you are amazing but all honesty I would really like to share that space with you, to hold you as you sleep, to wake up with you next to me. I have been wondering what that would feel like and now I will get to know. So long as that is ok with you?' I moved in close to her placed my hands on her waist an kissed her passionately on the lips. Chloe pulled away.

'also you best ring Kate and tell her we will see her in a few hours. I think late lunch will be great.'

I smiled into a kiss, 'however for now, get your cute butt outside we have a tour to jump on' On that note as we walked out the door Chloe laced her hand in mine. I loved it. I think this weekend is going to be just what we needed. I was excited, really excited, butterflies and everything, I was loving how we were walking round Liverpool and nobody had any idea who we were or that we were more than friends.


	13. Chapter 13

We walked along the dock front to the Liverbuildings. We booked two hop on hop off tickets for a city tour and headed up on to the top deck. The weather was amazing and the city seemed more like a village in comparison to LA.

Chloe pulled her phone out a few times, I think she was waiting on a message from Tom to say the children were all ok.

'Hey, Chloe let's get a selfie'! I said with a smile, holding my phone out in front of us. We had never taken a picture of us together. I snapped away and we had a giggle as we hit a few bumps in the road and the photo turned out awful and blurred. I took one last one and as I hit the button I kissed chloe on the cheek. 'What was that for Becs?' I raised my eyebrows at her cautions smile. 'because I could' I smirked back. 'let me see the state of those photos Mitchell.' We flicked through them laughing. The one of me kissing Chlo on the cheek had come out perfect. The sunlight was hitting her face through her red hair. She looked at me 'send me that one please' I sent the photo across to her as we sat back listening to the tour guide. I placed my arm around her shoulder. She looked up and glanced across at me, flashing me the biggest smile. God how did she turn me to total mush.

We spent around a hour on the bus taking photos listening to history and the odd Beatles track. I messaged Kate too. I had explained Chloe was pretty shy and so she said she would finish sound check and we could catch up over a tea instead of food. As we stepped off the bus and headed to the Philharmonic Hall, Chloe received phone call through WhatsApp. 'Hey Bec, it's Thomas's Dad just let me get this.' All I could hear was 'Mummmmmmmmy' that was so Niamh. 'Hey baby you ok?' Chloe seemed so excited to hear from Niamh and they hadn't even left for the states yet. 'mummy grandad said to tell you we will ring you when we get to Micky's house ok? Siobhan is getting ice cream with Granny, Patrick is with dad getting us some pizza for our tea. I wish you were with us mum.' I could see that comment break a small piece of Chloe's heart. I put my hand into hers, staying out of camera shot. She squeezed my hand gently. 'I wish I was with you too, but you are all going to have such a brilliant time, I promise! I want to see lots of pictures ok?'

Niamh became distracted as Chloe heard Thomas's voice. 'mummy I have to go daddy is back, I love you the moon and back' Niamh blew kisses as chloe shouted back 'Love you all the stars in the night sky my little angel.' With that the phone went off.

Chloe had tears streaming down her face. 'hey hey come on come here' I pulled her into such a tight embrace.

'Beca, I don't know how I am going to do this and not see them every day, they are my world.'

I ran my hand through her hair 'I know Chloe I know, you will though because they will get to see who their real mum is now and not the mum that hid behind Thomas. Siobhan will love seeing this new independent side to you, it will help her too.'

We pulled apart and sat on a nearby bench watching the world go by. 'Sorry about that.'

I looked across at Chloe 'please don't ever apologise for you emotions when you are with me. You are going through some huge changes and that will take its toll. Just talk to me'

Chloe stood up and held her hand out. 'come on don't we have a sound check to attend.'

I stood up and smiled at her, kissed her on the cheek and gave her a cheeky wink. 'so excited about meeting Kate?'

Chloe looked at me. 'excited. I am so damn nervous!' I smiled, Chloe was so cute and I could see how much this was going to mean to her. We crossed over the road to the theatre doors. A middle age woman with quite a mellow Liverpool accent opened the door. 'can I help you ladies?'

'Yeah erm my name is Beca Mitchell, Kate Tunstall is expecting us.' She looked down on her clip board. 'Ahhhh yes follow me' Chloe let go of my hand and placed her hands inside her pockets. I could tell she was nervous and I thought it would be best to let her get through this by herself. I knew how much Kates music meant to her.

We walked down a series of corridors and entered the side of the stage. Kate was stood on stage with a few band members. She was playing 'Invisible Empire' even though it was a check I didn't want to disturb her, plus hearing her and her guitar singing this song in to an empty hall was pretty awesome. Chloe stood behind me. I could feel her watching Kate so intently. She was quietly singing along too. Too cute. Kate finished up and I shouted 'oi Scottish' with that she spun around 'omg Beca fab to see you, how's things, and who is this? Chloe?' I was engulfed into a massive hug. 'Kate everything is great, well due to me and Jess breaking up I threw everything into work and had a bit of a breakdown! So, had hoped to take a break and went to Ireland to stay with gran. However, work came calling producing some tracks with the Little Mix girls, which is something different. An then I met this one, Chloe meet Kate, Chloe lives next door gran and is totes your biggest fan. I winked and Chloe went so red.

'Well it is lovely to meet you Chloe.'

I couldn't believe it KT Tunstall was right before my eyes and I couldn't get my words out.

Kate could sense this I mean anybody could. She Shouted Beca 'Hey Becs pick up that guitar and play us a few chords of Hard Girls' I looked across at Beca, she picked up the guitar next to her, she looked over and whispered, 'You ok?' I gave her a nod and I leant against the pillar on the stage.

Before I was ready the music started to infiltrate the theatre. The acoustics were amazing. Seeing Beca playing and singing along with KT was awesome. She looked so at home, so beautiful, her interactions with KT were so natural, she had such a massive smile on her face, and KT could clearly see what I could. KT shouted out 'that's enough Mitchell. Stop stealing my limelight'. They both laughed. KT looked across 'So Chloe, I normally do a new cover each night on tour fancy picking the one for tonight? no pressure!' with that she gave me a wink. 'erm hold me now by the Thompson twins maybe? I love that song.' KT looked across at Beca 'Jeeez, pick an easy one Chloe!' with that she laughed as did Beca.

I felt so nervous and it was weird too because KT didn't know that me and Beca were anything other than friends. After a few more tracks being bellowed out between the pair, I had relaxed a little more. 'right you two some of us have a show to do tonight, so if you get back here Bec for about 8ish? I have you both reserved seats on row 7. I know how much you hate front row Mitchell.'

Beca laughed 'Nice one Tunstall, catch you in a bit.' KT walked over to me. 'Chloe, it was lovely to meet you, look after this nutter, she doesn't like people to know but she is a gem and a genius to work with, keep her close. Listen out for Stoppin' The love tonight, I have a message for you.' I smiled nervously 'Erm ok, an it was lovely to meet you too. Beca never really talks music, so to know she is a genius means I will have to do some digging.' With that I laughed as did KT.

Beca walked behind me as we left the stage door. 'What did kate say to you then?' I took Beca's hand an as I did a huge rush ran through my body. I had missed her touch. 'oh just telling me to listen out for the cover track and that you are a musical genius!' Beca went a shade of pink. 'oh I don't think so. It is just my job. Anyhow should we head back the apartment for a few hours? Grab a rest and a shower before the gig?' I smiled, 'that sounds perfect.'

We arrived back and I threw myself on the sofa. 'oh god I am soooooo having a power nap.'

Beca looked really cute on the sofa sprawled out. I wanted to ask her to come and lie down with me but for some reason I had become so nervous that I just stood looking at her in a bit of a daze'

'Chlo, you ok, you look in a world of your own'

I swallowed hard. I bit the bottom of my lip and I ran my hand through my hair. 'erm this may sound like a stupid request but I wondered if you would come lie with me in the master room?' My heart was banging against my chest so much so I could hear it.

Beca sat up and walked over to me. She placed her hand in mine without saying a word and walked me to the master room. Once in there she walked over to the bed, turned around an gestured for me to sit on the edge of the mattress. I did and looked up at her. She for once stood over me, an as she looked down at me she leant in and kissed me. It was so gentle. She pulled away looking so deep into my eyes. 'Clo I would love nothing more than to lie next to you. However, before we do, I think we should get comfy, I mean I certainly do not want to be lying next to you in these clothes.'

I became so conscious of my body and about Beca seeing it. Jesus Thomas was the only person to have seen my body in person for the past million years and I had three children. I had always been stressed and anxious about my body image. I mean I wasn't a super model, I know I had sent Beca a picture but you can filter them and a picture is nothing in comparison to in the flesh. What if she saw my million imperfections, scars, stretch marks, my tummy from the 3 children. The list was endless.

What Beca did next took me by complete surprise.

She moved a few metres away from me, but stood directly in my eye line.

'Chloe, I have been stupidly anxious about my body since I was the age of 6. I have loved it, hated it loved it and hated it. At times, I have wished to have somebody else's body, skin tone, hair style etc. I wish I didn't have these'. At this point Beca took her top off and her bottoms and was stood in front of me with nothing but her underwear on. Which may I add was hot. She was wearing a pure white bra and pure white girlie boxers. She had pointed to lots of very small white marks on her skin. 'These are scars from self-injuring.' I couldn't believe she was stood there all vulnerable.

She pointed to quite a big scar on the top of her thigh. 'This one I dislike the most. I did this when I lost mine and Jesse baby. I couldnt cope and I knew I needed to release the pain somehow. Beca wiped a small tear from her face. I stood up off the bed and walked over to her. I placed my hands on either side of her shoulders and moved them down her arms. My touch was light and gentle. I want to really feel her but in an unsexual way. I placed kisses along her collar bone and ran my fingers downwards of her stomach to her hips. I continued to place light kisses on each part of her skin that I could. I ended up on my knees in front of her as I kissed her stomach.

'Chlo, stand up' I could feel such electricity rushing through me. Beca said this so softly that it didn't even feel like a demand. I was now standing and Bec rested her forehead on mine. She raised her hands to the buttons on my shirt and as she began to unbutton them she closed her eyes an on occasion rubbed her nose to mine. Within moments I could feel Becs finger tips on my stomach. She kept them here for a moment and kissed me on the lips so slowly and gentle. Her hands moved to my shoulders at which point she gently knocked my shirt off and it fell to the floor. Beca opened her eyes and allowed her hands and finger tips to roam over my skin. She placed her hands on either side of my hips and kissed my shoulders and neck. I wanted to be as exposed to her as she had to me so I moved my own hands down to my button on my jeans. I felt Becas hand on mine 'you don't have to take these off you know.' I whispered, 'I know but I want to.' With that I removed my jeans.

Beca pulled me close so parts of our bodies were touching bare skin touching. An I had never felt anything like it in my life I thought I was going to explode. I knew this was not going to lead to sex and nor did I want it too. It was much more than that. It was about loving our bodies and being bare and honest with each other.

Right now I can feel Chlo's warm skin up against mine and it is like a hundred thousand fireworks have gone off. I hated that she had felt so body conscious around me and I wanted nothing more than for her to know how beautiful she was. I knew this could easily overspill into something more, but we both knew what we were doing right now was being intimate and being honest and affectionate, this was more important than sex for both of us.

I placed my chin on Chlo's shoulder and began to sing so softly as our hips mirrored one another's movements.

'It's not the pale moon that excites me

That thrills and delights me, oh no

It's just the nearness of you

It isn't your sweet conversation

That brings this sensation, oh no

It's just the nearness of you

When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me

All my wildest dreams came true

I need no soft lights to enchant me

If you'll only grant me the right

To hold you ever so tight

And to feel in the night the nearness of you'

As Beca stopped singing she pulled away so she was looking into my eyes. I had tears forming and as I looked at her she did too. 'Bec, I erm have never had anything like this with anybody before, you have me so emotional but not in a bad way, I feel alive, and you just make me feel so many things,'

Bec broke off my sentence 'Chlo I have never had moment like this with anybody else either, I just know that you have me feeling like I can take on the world and it is like electricity when I am around you.' We were both smiling so wide. I took Beca's hand and we lay on out sides on the bed looking at each other. I placed a stray hair behind Becs ear. 'what is your biggest fear?' she rolled on to her back and let out a sigh. 'My biggest fear is that I will end up alone. That I have all these awesome things and all this money and that I will have nobody to enjoy it with. You?'

I trailed my fingers over Beca's stomach making random patterns. 'My biggest fear is failing my children and not being a good role model for them I guess,'

'Chlo that will never happen and you already are' with that she shot around on her side and kissed me. 'An Bec, you wont be alone, ever of that I am sure.' We had a pretty long make out session but neither of us attempted anything other than kissing and the odd touch up. 'Come on Red time to get showered and ready you can go first!' And she gave me a wink'

I got out of the shower and placed my ipod on to get ready. 'Pumped up Kids was blasting out as I stood in the bedroom in my navy lace French knickers and matching navy lace bra. I was stood near the mirror casually drying my hair when Beca walked in and stopped dead. She looked over 'My lord you trying to give me a heart attack?' I frowned at her 'what I am only drying my hair.' Bec raised her eyebrows at me yeah in that underwear. Just erm wow.' I gave off a little laugh and carried on. I had brought a navy tight fitting dress that came just above my knee, it had black and grey sequins on the arms. But it wasn't overly dressy. I had a silver bag and a metal looking effect pair of shoes. Beca picked stuff from her case and went back into the bathroom. She returned a few moment later and hit next on the ipod. She was stood there in these tight black Calvin Klein shorts and matching bra. The shorts waistband was pure white with black writing on she looked so sexy and I could feel myself staring at her through the mirror. I began doing my makeup and she started drying her hair, I could hear the ipod track in the background, 'With every heart beat' by Robyn. I found myself humming along and me and Bec kept passing glances at one another. Something had changed after this afternoon, like a anxiety had lifted, and we both seemed so relaxed with each other but in a completely different way.

I stepped into my dress, 'Hey could you zip this up for me please Beca?' Her eyes went so wide when she looked up. 'erm sure, that dress looks erm stunning on you.' I bit my lip and pulled Beca in 'Not as good as that set looks on you right now.' I turned her around and tried to hide my ever reddening cheeks. I zipped her up. Her dress just hugged her in all the right places. I found myself placing my arms around her waist. 'dressed Mitchell'

I laughed as I threw my black suit trousers on along with a royal blue floating type shirt and a black fitted jacket. I had my hair down, subtle make up but red lipstick for a change. 'Chloe you ready?' I walked towards her and placed my hands on to her hips moving her against the counter, I kiss her passionately. 'Wow that was erm a very good kiss Mitchell, you took my breath away a bit there.'

'Chlo you have been taking my breath away since I set eyes on you' shit I didn't mean to say that out loud. Chloe bit down on her lip and I thought I may die, she looked so hot an all I could think was about what she had on beneath that dress, this was going to be a long night. 'lets get going becs'. With that they left the apartment and jumped in a taxi.


	14. Chapter 14

We were in the taxi about 5 minutes. The taxi driver had been quite chatty and asked what we had been up too. I informed him of having been around the city etc but that tomorrow we were going to check out some museums. Chloe had remained quiet though. I placed my hand on the top of her leg. 'Hey you ok?' she looked up at me 'Of course, sorry was just thinking about the children'

We pulled up outside The Philharmonic and walked in. 'Bec, you fancy a drink before we find our seats?' Beca nodded and we walked towards the bar. I felt her place her hand on the bottom of my back, It sent my stomach in to knots. I order two glasses of wine and we stood taking the atmosphere in. The place was buzzing and we could hear the support act about to start up. 'Fancy giving them ago?' I looked at Beca and took her hand. We were shown to our seats. We were the last two end seats. I smiled as I sat down. Kate knew me well. Me and Chloe sat down, our eyes focused on this young blonde playing guitar on stage.

Her voice was captivating. It was like there were only us in the room with her.

'Give me something real  
Something to hold on  
Give me something you've got  
To make us strong  
I'll be waiting, I'll be waiting to come home  
I'll be saving, I'll be saving what we own

Look in your eyes  
For a little while  
Let me read your mind  
If you read mine  
Cause I keep falling, I'm still falling for your love  
I keep falling, falling in to your world

With every love, every kiss  
Every time we touch lips  
My love always his  
Every time till we miss  
Every love, every cry  
Every time till we die  
Every love, every look,  
In your bright blue eyes

It's something we can't say  
It's just the way we feel  
We'll be hiding in secrets  
Till they reveal  
Cause I keep falling, I'm still falling for your love  
I keep falling, falling in to your world

With every love, every kiss  
Every time we touch lips  
My love always his  
Every time till we miss  
Every love, every cry  
Every time till we die  
Every love, every look,  
In your bright blue eyes

In your bright, in your bright blue eyes  
In your bright, in your bright blue eyes  
In your bright, in your bright blue eyes  
Every love, every look  
In your bright blue eyes'

The audience clapping broke my thoughts. I had completely lost myself in that track. Chloe looked at me and leaned in. She whispered, 'lost yourself there Mitchell'

I ran my hands through my hair. 'Yeah guess I could relate to the song.' I winked at Chloe. 'Oh is that right?' I nodded 'of course'

The next 35 minutes we were treated to a beautiful act. Nina Nesbitt, I placed her name in my phone. I wanted to hear more from her. Her last track of her set, was stunning.

As she sang the chorus for the first time, I looked across at Chloe who had been looking across at me. It was funny as we both looked away quick like we had been busted.

The song continued,

So I'll keep running into the rain  
Heart first, Head second, I'm away  
I'll keep running, Running away  
With my heart there  
For you to take

So make me fall in love  
Even if I get hurt  
I'll be the only fool in the world  
Just make me fall in love  
In love, In love, In love  
In love, In love, In love  
In love, In love, In love  
Just make me fall in love

At this point I felt Bec's hand reach for mine. She entwined our fingers in to one another's. She lifted this hand up close to her lips and gently kissed our joint fist. It was the most beautiful thing to do, she could sense I had become emotional and it was her way of making sure I was ok.

Sometimes I think  
I think too much  
My mind is ticking like a clock that never stops  
All these things you do,  
Well they are more than enough  
I've got something to prove  
And I'm feeling in luck

So I'll keep running into the rain  
Heart first, Head second, I'm away  
I'll keep running into the rain  
With my heart there  
For you to take

So make me fall in love  
Even if I get hurt  
I'll be the only fool in the world  
Just make me fall in love

In love, In love, In love,  
In love, In love, In love,  
In love, In love, In love  
Just make me fall in love.

Nina got a standing ovation, she had been fantastic. I leant over to Chloe and kissed her gently on the cheek. 'I am glad I got to meet you and I cannot wait to get to know you better'

Beca was by far the cutest person I had ever come across. I mean I had been with Thomas for so long and I had become used to disappointment but Beca just made it seem at times like I was in a rom-com. I couldn't believe anybody could be this sweet and so in tune.

Beca left to get some drinks before KT came on. She returned and we were sat in anticipation. It was mad to think we had spent several hours today with the artist we were about to watch. I was interested to see what message she had for me. The gig started and KT was amazing, and so funny, she certainly knows how to work an audience.

KT engages with crowd 'Liverpool this is my last song, however it isn't as if you clap loudly enough when I leave the stage il come back on for a few'. The audience laughs. 'So is there anybody in the audience that has bought a ticket for a friend? an If so have you have been wanting to make out with that person for days, weeks, months or maybe even years but you haven't? and now you have this spare ticket and you are thinking right this is the night. Then first I commend you, second, Get the fuck on with it, it is nearly the end of the show. You need to make a move. And this is an excellent song for such behaviour. Good Luck' I felt myself go red. That was my message. I needed Beca to know I wanted her, well that I wanted to date her, I know she knew I was into her but I needed her to know how serious I was about us. We had only known each other a very short space of time and this was all new to the pair of us but I knew I wanted more, I wanted Beca. KT was right. I needed to get the fuck on with it.

At that moment KT started hitting a beat on her guitar.

So you think it's funny  
That you keep calling me all of the time every day  
Oh, honey, don't want to be following  
And falling behind if you're gonna be walking away  
And I don't know why I wouldn't follow

You got me looking up even when I'm falling down  
You got me crawling out of my skin  
You got me wondering why I am underneath this big old sky  
Stopping the loving getting in

Now you say it's easy  
That you been falling for all of my charm  
And getting lost in my smile  
Never ceases to amaze me  
When I'm pinching my arm  
And I still do it with style  
And now I hope you'll be with me tomorrow

You got me looking up even when I'm falling down  
You got me crawling out of my skin  
You got me wondering why I am underneath this big old sky  
Stopping the loving getting in

The song finished and the crowd was giving it all it had to show their appreciation. Beca was no different. Friend or no friend she was showing her love for KT and the gig she had just given everybody. She was amazing. I sat there for a moment weighing up my options.

I turned to Beca. I leant in as I took hold of her hand. 'Beca can we go back to the apartment'

Beca looked at me in disbelief. 'erm could we at least wait until after the encore Chloe, I told Kate I would see her after for a little while, and thought we could for a few drinks around the city.'

I swallowed hard. An looked into Beca's eyes 'please could you take me back. Now.'

Beca looked gutted. 'Sure Chloe, il sort us a taxi, you ok?'

I looked at her, I mean how was I going to tell her that the reason I wanted to go back was because I wanted to make out with her, I wanted to feel her skin on mine, I wanted her to know what her touch did to me and I wanted her, in fact I needed her.

As I walked out of the door of the venue into the warm night air, the streets were busy and there were people everywhere. I could see the worry and sadness in Beca's face. I took her hand and started to walk fast towards the side of the theatre. 'Chloe the taxi is going to be here any minute what is going on? Stop!' By that point I had pulled Beca around and pushed her gently up against the wall. I leant in and began kissing her so gently but full of passion, her hands sat on my waist, my hands were running through her hair, I moved them down her slides slowly before reaching her the top of her trousers, I pulled her shirt out so my fingers could run across her bare skin. I heard her gasp at my touch, I smiled as I leant in to another kiss.

Beca pulled away 'Chloe, what is going on, I thought you wanted to go back, I thought something was wrong.' I leant down and whispered into her ear 'There is nothing wrong Mitchell, I just need to feel your skin on mine and I don't fancy stripping to my underwear in the theatre.' I pulled away and gave Beca a cheeky wink before walking towards the waiting taxi.

I followed Chloe towards the taxi thinking about what just happened. Did Chloe really mean what I thought she did? An if she did what changed when we watched KT for her to want to do that now. We had been so close this afternoon but hadn't. What was so different now, and oh my god, what if I just don't have a clue. I was pulled out of my thoughts 'Beca hurry up, and focus, taxi now.'

'Yeah sorry Chlo, sorry right there.' I jumped in the taxi and remained very quiet. I mean was I reading this right. I sat holding my own hands looking out the window as my stomach churned inside at an incredible rate.

I sat in the taxi and It was so quiet. I was watching Beca internalising what I had said. I was shit scared too, and I mean this could of happened this morning but we were both clear it wasn't going to happen and now I was breaking that. Shit what if she really wasn't ready. Shit what If I am not ready. At that moment, I felt Beca's hand entwine with mine. I looked up, I took a breath and ran my tongue along the bottom of my lip. 'You ok?'

Beca smiled lifted my hand up and pressed a gentle kiss. Before she could say anything, the taxi pulled up at the apartment building. Our hands separated and even though it was only for a moment I missed Beca's touch. I stepped out of the car and made my way towards her on the other side. My stomach began to do flips. Nervous but excited flips.

As I entered the building and we stood in the lift. It was quiet I swear Chloe must have been able to see my heart beats through my chest, I know I could. I had never had such mix feelings. I couldn't wait to feel Chloe completely but I couldn't help but be nervous. What was this going to mean?' at that moment the doors opened and we both nervously headed to the apartment door.

I pushed the key card in and we entered the apartment. The atmosphere between us was filled with such nervous energy. 'Bec do you want a glass of wine or a beer?' I took my shoes off and shouted, 'beer please' I walked over to the sound system and I hit play. Fleetwood Mac echoed through the living area, Landslide. I took my jacket off and walked towards Chloe. She handed me my beer 'I love this song!' At this moment Chloe started to sing along. I put my beer bottle to my mouth and took a mouthful

Chloe had like me taken her shoes off, she had walked over to the giant windows and stood looking out across the river while continuing to sing, she looked so beautiful. At that point I knew, this was right she was right and whatever happened tonight happened tonight. I turned the lights out and the apartment went dark but as the curtains were all open the city lights created a dim yellow glow through the room. I walked towards her, placed my hands around her waist from behind and placed my chin on her shoulder. 'Dance with me Chlo?' she turned around, as she did I took her wine glass from her hand and placed it on the table.

I felt Beca's hands around my waist and within moments I could feel her breath on my shoulder. She asked me to dance and I couldn't think of anything more I would have wanted to do in that moment. I placed my arms around her neck as she continued to have her hands on my waist. She pulled me close. We danced in silence it was perfect. As the song ended I pulled away from Beca. 'Bec I am sorry if I may of scared you before or worried you, I don't want you to feel pressure I have never wanted that and I am sorry if you have felt that' Beca cut my ramblings off with a kiss. She pulled away 'Chloe sometimes you just need to shut up' she giggled, 'Oi I was thinking about..' and before I got chance to finish Beca was kissing me passionately yet gentle. She pulled away 'No more talking' and she winked. Fleetwood Mac still filled the air 'Gypsy'

I grabbed Chloe by the arm and began to twirl her around as I sang out loud. She was laughing so much 'Beca you are..' I cut her off with a kiss before pulling away 'I did warn you no talking' she let out a loud giggle, I could tell she had been trying to suppress it but failed. We continued to dance as I sang along. As the song ended, Songbird began. I pulled Chloe close and began to kiss her, I placed kisses on her lips and her neck moving her hair behind her ears as I did so.

I ran my hands down her shoulders and arms. I could sense how nervous she was. I stood back and began to undo the buttons on my shirt. As I did I never left Chloe's eye gaze. I removed my shirt and took hold of Chloe's hands, I placed them on my waist. With that she trailed her fingers over my skin and I thought I was going to explode, it was different to this morning. She placed her hand to the side of her dress and unzipped it. She stepped out of it and I watched on in awe at how beautiful she was. She stood there like she had before in that sexy underwear and we kissed as I ran my hands over her stomach and arms. I sat on the bed and pulled Chloe with me. We were lying down our arms and legs entwined. We made out so much, I couldn't get enough of her kisses.

After about 10minutes of some of the best kissing I have ever had, I pushed myself up and was kneeling in front of Chloe, she moved so she was straddling me. I swallowed hard. We continued to kiss and out hands moved all over one another's bodies. Before I knew it Chloe pushed my backwards and was now on top of me. We continued to kiss, while I rand m hands through Chloe's hair and she ran her hands over my skin. Chloe began to place kisses all over my body. Her mouth reached my breasts which were still covered by my bra. 'Beca is this ok?' I replied 'this is more than ok.' Within moments Chloe had pushed my bra cup down and I felt her tongue on my nipple. I thought I was going to burst, I couldn't believe what I was feeling. Chloe did the same on the other breast before coming back to my lips to kiss me. I had never been so turned on in my life. Chloe pulled away and peppered my stomach in kisses. She continued lower until she reached the waist line on my girlie boxers. She ran her hands over the outside of my boxers and this caused me to let out a moan. She began to place small kisses on the inside of my thghs. She pulled away.

'Bec is this ok? Am I ok?' I looked at her 'Chlo it is amazing, you are amazing' with that she smiled and placed her hands on the elastic of my boxers and slowly pulled them down. I felt her pause.

'Chloe if you want to stop that is ok, I promise.' With that Chloe removed my boxers and ran her hands up and down my naked body. Before I knew it, she had settled herself between my legs and was running her tongue along the inside of my leg. 'Bec erm' I knew what she was thinking and I cut her off before she had chance to answer. 'Chloe I want to feel your tongue, I take that back I need to feel your tongue' Nothing could of prepared me for the next 10minutes. Feeling Chloe's tongue running slow circles around my clit was just unreal. I was so wet, and Chloe continued to do this and then run her tongue up and down. I found myself panting the feeling was incredible. Chloe looked up at me, 'Bec i…'

Chloe whatever it is do it, with that I felt two of Chloe's finger fit inside me. I let out such a moan. It felt so good. 'oh my god Chloe' she continued to move her two fingers gently in and out mixing it up with the odd flick of the tongue. 'Chlo, go faster' she looked at me, 'you sure?' I lifted my hips a little, 'yeah' with that Chloe began to move fingers in and out quickly. I could feel tingles in my feet and a build-up in my tummy. I was about to come for the first time in 18months an I couldn't hold it off any longer. With that, my breathing became laboured 'Chlo I'm going to come. With that Chloe pushed her two fingers deep inside me an placed her tongue on my clit, within seconds I came. 'chloeee oh shit that was' Chloe cut me off with a kiss. I could taste me, she smiled into the kiss as she slowly continued to move her two fingers in and out of me very slowly. Allowing me to embrace my full orgasm. On calming down, Chloe removed her fingers and kissed me, while she lay on top of me between her legs. I ran my fingers through her hair. 'Wow Chlo, you sure you never done that before? I have never come so hard'

Chlo smiled as she leant into a kiss, 'nope never' she smiled 'you ok? I didn't hurt you in any way did i?' I placed my hands on her shoulders and rolled her over on to her back. I was leaning over her face 'Didn't hurt me at all the total opposite actually. An I am more than ok' I placed gentle kisses along her jaw line and down her neck. My hands reached her bra, as I was about to pull the cup down Chloe leaned forward placed her hands behind her back and un clasped her bra before throwing it to the floor.

I was still replaying what I had just done with Beca in my head. Watching her come, tasting her and being able to feel that come down inside her on my fingers was by far the best sexual experience I have had to date.

Beca was placing soft kisses down my neck line and before I knew it her tongue was on my nipple as she used it to draw circles, I let out a moan as her other hand reach out for my other breast. Beca pulled away 'You ok?' I licked my lower lip, 'absolutely fine' with that she ran her tongue down my stomach, she placed kisses around my scar from my caesarean, and she ran her tongue along the utside of my underwear. 'oh god' I ran my hands through Beca's hair. I was so wet, Beca must of realised and next minute my underwear was moved to the side an I felt Beca's tongue run up and down before circling my clit. I let out a moan, my god this felt amazing and I needed her. She continued to roam her tongue around while having her hands on my breasts. I felt my hips moving in rhythm with her tongue. Her pace increased and her tongue was driving me to distraction, before I knew it I felt a finger inside me. 'oh my god Bec' it felt so good to have her inside me, she must of felt my ever growing need and I felt a second finger push inside me. My hips continued to move up and down as her fingers moved in and out of me at pace. I could start to feel a tightening in my stomach I knew I wasn't too far from coming and coming hard. 'Beca don't stop' as I held her head above my clit 'I am going to come so badly' Beca began to moved her fingers in and out of me with more purpose it was a little rougher and faster but it wanted it I felt my walls clench around Beca's fingers and I let out a deep moan. 'Shit, omg Beca oh my god I am coming, don't stop' Beca twisted her fingers and I came so hard, my body was shaking. I could feel sweat dripping down my body.

'Omg Beca, you sure you haven't done this before? Stop stop!' I giggled as Beca kept letting her tongue ride over my now very swollen sensitive clit. Beca moved for a moment to allow me to sit up against the bedhead. With that she the straddled me wrapping her legs around me. We spent the next few minutes In silence kissing each other and smiling in-between. I felt on fire and the more we kissed the more I wanted to feel her again.

My legs were wrapped around Chloe and our naked bodies were radiating with heat, sweat and fulfilment. Hearing and feeling Chloe climax because of me was not only a massive turn on but god it felt good. It was without doubt the best orgasm and sexual experience I had. I mean don't get me wrong over 10years me and Jesse had tried anything and everything really, but this with chloe had been something I had never felt, the level of intimacy was unbelievable. I felt so connected to her. I just wanted more, and the more I thought about what I just felt and saw the more I wanted to feel her again.

Beca pulled out of our kiss and moved my hair out of my face. She placed her hands on either side of my face. 'Chlo, you are so beautiful, your body is just on point, I don't think I would ever tire of looking and touching your skin or feeling your lips.' With that I placed my hands on Beca's hips as her legs were still around my waist. 'Bec just moved back a touch' as she did I felt her clit connect with mine. Her eyes opened wide as I began to rock into her. Even I did not know what to expect I had never experienced this before but I knew that feeling Beca's clit on mine slowly moving together was something I wanted more of, it felt so different yet I felt so turned on and so connected, I slowly increased my rocking pace and Beca rocked her hips at the same time. Neither of us spoke. We kept our eyes on each other as our clits glided across one another, until after a few minutes when I could start to feel myself about to come for a second time that evening 'Beca come with me?' I said breathlessly.

I didn't reply to Chloe I just increased my pace with my hips 'Tell me, when you are nearly there'

I had one hand on the bed to keep my balance and Chloe had a hand on my shoulder blade and the other on my bum cheek which was lifting and pushing me closer as I moved my hips at a much faster pace, I was using the headboard to push back on with my feet as the pace increased. My breathing became faster and I groaned in pleasure with each roll of my hips against her. Chloe was becoming red in the face and her eyes remained on mine, within moments the two if us were frantic in rocking our hips and clashing together I wanted to hear Chloe come as much as she did me. With a last roll of my hips 'Beca I am going to' 'Me too' with that we kissed and moaned into each other's mouths as we hit orgasm at the same time, I flung my arms around her neck as she wrapped her arms around my back holding me tight. My mind was utterly blown, we continued to roll our hips slowly against one another as our chests heaved up and down, sweat ran down our bodies 'Wow, Beca…'

I sensed a waver in Chloe's voice. I lifted her head 'Chloe you ok?' she had a tear rolling down her cheek, despite the overwhelming feeling of euphoria I had just felt, I had an immediate sick churn in my stomach. Shit she regrets it, we should never have done this fuck.

I had never felt an orgasm like that in my life, I had never felt so physically and emotionally connected with anybody like this before and as my body began to come down from such a high, I felt tears form in my eyes. I mean what was I crying for, I was ecstatic. I could see Beca was internalising and I was ruining this moment. 'Beca I have never felt so physically and emotionally connected to somebody, I am so overwhelmed in a good way, you just gave me two of the best orgasms of m life and my head and body are like fuck.' I wiped my tear away and began to giggle. Beca looked relived.

'Well Chloe I could say the same for you, guess those L-Word episodes paid off?' I started laughing and slapped her arm. 'Come shower with me' I bit my bottom lip and got up off the bed, I pulled her off with me. I hit the shower and warm water began to cascade down. My senses were all over the place but as me and Beca stood under the shower together letting the water fall over us and lathering soap gently across each other, I looked at her as her eyes were closed as she allowed the water to flow over her face 'Damn Mitchell I am going to fall so hard for you'

As me and Chloe stepped out of the shower, we both kissed and were drying each other while taking in the others body, I had spent most of the day admiring Chloe's body and skin and yet I would still come across another part that was beautiful. We climbed in to bed, both facing each other with our legs and arms entwined. We chatted a little about our day and Chloe had received a massage to say the children had arrived safe and sound in Florida. She closed her eyes as I played with her hair. I took a deep breath. 'I am so falling for you, red' I whispered as I kissed on the head and closed my eyes.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I hadn't fallen asleep until around 3am. My eyes were open and as I looked to see the time the clock was showing it was 10am. Beca was snuggled into me and had her arms around my waist. I lay there for a around 5mins, just thinking of last night. I had never had sex like that, obviously but never had sex that was so meaningful, or mind blowing. Beca was so attentive and the way her touch made me feel, I had never been as turned on, I need to stop replaying how beautifully perfect it was because just thinking about it was making me want to experience that all over again.

Back to reality, I tried to move her arms gently so I could get out of bed. Nature called and I was so hungry. As I began to move Beca murmured in my ear. 'what are you doing?' I whispered, 'I need the toilet and some food, you see this hot woman had me working up a sweat last night and I need to build my energy levels.' I felt Beca smirk in to my shoulder. 'Well whoever she is, tell her she's a lucky woman.'

I chuckled as Beca released me from her arms, not before kissing my neck though. I stood up out of bed and picked up my pj shorts and a vest top. I heard a small 'Booooooooooooo' come from the bed. I walked back over to the bed, climbed on the mattress until I was straddling her over the duvet 'an here was me thinking I was going to make some food, come back to bed and have a re-run of last night but if you are just going to sulk then I'll get dressed and we can go out.' I winked at Beca 'decisions yours' with that I climbed off the bed and walked into the kitchen. 'okey okey, il have a coffee while you're up' I shouted back 'You are pushing your luck'

As Chloe left the room for the kitchen I lay there replaying last night. Chloe was insanely beautiful, and her body was perfect. I have never had sex have such feeling and meaning. There was such a connection between us and last night il be honest my mind was blown. Thinking about even being able to potentially have sex with Chloe again was enough for me to start getting hot and bothered. I could hear her singing in the kitchen but couldn't quite make it out.

I stepped out of bed and threw my batman t-shirt on and some lounge pants. I walked towards the door way, I stood leaning on the frame as Chloe danced and sang around to Christine and The Queens Tiled. She was singing the French version. I was mesmerised, and completely lost myself watching her. I was brought out of my own little world by my phone. Chloe looked over to the door. 'you going to get that or just stare at me?' she let out a small laugh as she placed a coffee on the side. 'Hey Kate, yeah sorry about that, Chloe had an emergency. Erm hang on. Chlo Kate said she is guessing you got her message?' Chloe had such a smile on her face. 'yeah tell her I got it loud and clear and thanks' I had a very puzzled look on my face. 'Hey Kate, she said she got it loud and clear and to thank you' I heard kate's laugh 'Awesome, don't worry about making the after show last night now, sure you had your own, I'll catch up with you in LA'

'Yeah, no worries I am back there for a week next week with Chloe, her children and my gran. So, if you are about then will catch up. An, my own after show? What?'

'No worries Bec, peace out.' With that the phone went down. 'Weird' I picked up my coffee.

'So what is the plan?' Bec looked at me 'I need food Chlo I am full on starving. She smirked. 'Come on then dressed and out. Then how about we then come back and make plans for the rest of the day?' As I walked towards the bedroom I shouted back 'That sounds good, you heard anymore form the children?'

I threw my hoodie and sweat pants on and walked into the bathroom as Chloe entered the bedroom. She also threw a hoodie on and some boyfriend fit jeans. She tied her hair up in a messy bun. She picked up her phone. 'Nothing but it is about 6am there right so I imagine they are fast asleep.' Her eyes always looked so sad, I knew she was missing them so much. I walked over to her and placed my hands on her waist. 'Hey they will be missing you just as much you know. I have no idea what it feels like for you, so I won't insult you by saying anything other than I am here.' With that I kissed the top of Chloe's head and pulled her in to a hug. We stayed there for several minutes. 'Chlo, let's get food before I eat you' Chloe pulled away 'Is that a promise Mitchell?' and she started laughing. I could feel my face going red. 'Low blow, points to you!' she laughed and we hit the city. We went to this very small artisan coffee shop. There was about 5 tables and it was like we were sitting in somebodies living room. We ordered and sat down. There were some art magazines on the table and some very relaxed music playing. I found that I just could not stop smiling, I felt like a total idiot.

Last night was still whizzing round in my head. When Beca hugged me this morning I felt myself melting into her touch. Like she just knew what I needed. We were sat in this funky little coffee place called Cow and Co and I kept catching her looking at me followed up with a smirk, like she was trying to hide a smile. Our hands were entwined which each other on the table. 'So what do you have planned for our date this evening?'

'That would be telling! But I think you will like it.'

'I am sure I will. I was thinking last night, about the house being up for sale and about me needing a job and I know I can teach and that would be easy to go back too, it is what I wanted to go back too. However, I have this little niggle in my head to look at nursing courses.'

'My lord when did you think of all that? And I think you would make an amazing nurse. Do you have to go back to uni?'

'I was thinking about it all after you fell asleep. My mind was racing and I was thinking about how much has changed in such a short space of time. I figured if I could get a few hours tutoring that would work flexibility around uni and the children. I mean the week they are with Thomas I could tutor nearly every night. I know it will be hard to juggle everything the week I have them but I want them to know their mum didn't give up on a dream and that if you work hard you can get where you need to be, if that makes sense.'

'It makes perfect sense. If you need any support let me know I can babysit and so can Gran.'

'Thanks, to be honest everything is so up in the air what with the house on the market too, not sure I can even think about that right now.' I put my coffee down on the table and placed my hand on top of Chloe's. 'so don't then. What is the point in worrying about something that you cannot control. What it happens deal with it then but before any of that we have the next week together, to go on dates, spend time with each other and to have a complete laugh right?'

Chloe looked across 'How are you always so right Mitchell'

'well the big guy upstairs loves a trier!' we both laughed, finished our drinks and left the coffee place. We had a leisurely walk back to the apartment. Stopping en route to pick up some baking ingredients for some biscuits. I had noticed baking items in the apartment so figured it would be something nice to do together.

We walked into the apartment and I put the oven on low to warm up.

Chloe put her playlist on as I began to sort the ingredients out.

I opened my playlist while Beca was faffing around with baking stuff. I was really in the mood for some Rat Pack music, I thought it was perfect for our baking session. As Frank Sinatra's voice filled the quiet cool air. Beca looked up over the counter. She was wearing such a massive smile. I walked over to her as she handed me a coffee a cup 'Just make it one for my baby and one for the road' she winked. I took the cup from her as I did I kissed her cheek.

'what do you want me to do?' well I have this bit under control but could you put some flour on the surface please ready for when this dough is ready. Chloe was singing along 'Coz I've got you under my skin…as I finished with the flour, the kettle boiled I danced across and filled up Beca's cup. She was so involved making the mixture up she hadn't seen me. She looked so cute concentrating.

Suddenly, she placed the mixing bowl down and began singing along to 'That's Amore' I could not stop laughing. She placed her hand out 'care to dance with me?' I took her hands as we danced round the kitchen like utter idiots laughing while singing as Dean Martin voice was drowned out by Beca and me' As the song came to an end she pulled me in and went to kiss me. As she did I dragged my hand across the flour on the surface and rubbed it in the side of her face. I could not stop laughing as she threw a handful of flour back at me. In what felt like the longest minute ever we both stood looking at each other waiting to see what the other was going to do. I moved quickly an as I ran passed I threw up a ton of flour up at Bec, as Me and my shadow started through the speaker. 'omg red, you are dead, I couldn't stop laughing as I wiped my face, I currently resembled Casper's The Ghosts sister.

'Chloe, you are so dead. I picked up an egg. If I were you I would come over here and apologise.'

She bit on her lip 'Or what?'

I began to walk towards her singing as I did 'clocks don't chime.'

'what a surprise' Chloe began to move towards me.

'they ring a ding ding' I was within touching distance and she somehow shot right passed me back towards the kitchen picking up the other egg of the side.

'Evens Mitchell' she said with such a laugh. 'Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!'

Beca looked at me laughing so much. 'Omg you are so funny Chlo, I call a truce, eggs down and come here, we have baking to do.'

Beca placed the egg she had in her hands on the side board and I placed mine on the table in front of the mixing bowl. She walked back to where the pastry was in the bowl. And emptied it ut on to the once flour dusted surface. The place looked a mess. We were a mess.

I don't even know how she did it but within seconds I had raw egg dripping down my face from my hair and all I could hear was her laughing as she sand along to 'I did it my way'

'You Beca Mitchell are a shit' she was using a wooden spoon to sing into.

I so wanted to be in a mood with her but I just couldn't, I had a plan though. I didn't look at her after that as I walked over to my phone and turned the music off. 'I will be in the shower' I walked past her and into the bathroom smirking to myself. Two can play this game Becs and I was just about to throw you out the water.

I ran the shower, took my clothes off, stepped in and washed the egg from my hair. I wondered whether she would come in. She hadn't so far. Hair washed I stepped out, leaving the water still running. I wrapped a towel around me and hit play on my play list as I walked to the kitchen. The water was dripping off me. I stood in the door way. Beca was tidying up looking very apologetic.

Marvin Gaye 'Lets get on started playing and Beca looked over 'Chlo I am sorry…I erm'

I walked towards her and placed my index finger on her lips 'Shhhhh, we are all sensitive people with so much to give…' With that I dropped my towel to the floor, turned around and headed to the door. I was smirking so much as I knew Beca was stood in shock. As I crossed in to the corridor I turned around 'Let's get it on…' with that I beckoned Bec by lifting my index finger I continued to sing and as sang Bec was stood to the spot. I began to walk back towards her, she didn't take her eyes off me the whole time. As I continued to sing I now had my hands on Beca's waist I pulled her top up, she put her arms in the air as I pulled it off. She had flour all over her bra and her hair was a shade of grey from it all. I ran my hands across her toned stomach. She leaned in and kissed me. Slow at first but then more passionately. She pulled away, catching her breath. I took her hand and led her to the bathroom. I spun her around and pushed her up against the outside of the shower screen. It was a full length double walk in shower so the warm water running meant the glass panel was warm on her exposed back. I knelt in front of her. I placed several kisses on her stomach and her hips before running my tongue along her waist band on her pants. I placed my index and middle fingers on either hand on either side of her pants. As I did this I pulled them and her girlie boxers down. Before she had chance to step out of them I began to place gentle kisses on the inside of her thighs which due to the moans coming from her mouth she was enjoying. I stood up as she stepped out of her trousers. She unclipped her bra as I pulled her into the shower.

As I entered the shower behind Chloe I couldn't believe making biscuits had turned in to this. It was hot I mean she was hot. We were kissing as the water cascaded off us. My hands wanted to touch her so much but every time I tried to touch her she would take my hands and move them away. 'nope nope nope Mitchell, hands off rule. 'Chloe please my hands want to feel you' I began to kiss her neck. She moved slightly away from me and whispered in my ear 'it's a no touch zone this' as she winked and motioned at her body. 'think of it as payback for the egg' with that she leant across me so our bodies were naked, wet and flush against each other and then she whispered in my ear, 'come on we have biscuits to make, right? You can see more of this tonight, if you make decent biscuits for me' with that she turned the water off. Stepped out of the shower and left me standing naked wet and full of frustration. She turned back as I was stepping out. 'I am not sure after seeing you like that now I will be able to keep my hands off you on our date tonight. For now, though, hurry up you have biscuits to bake me.' She winked and left for the bedroom. Wow she was so confident at times yet she is so vulnerable. I looked into the steamed up mirror and wiped it before looking in to it 'get your shit together Mitchell you have a long day ahead to deal with this frustration.


	16. upload issues

Hiya guys please accept my apologise for an upload confusion. For some reason when posted a chapter for suddenly i see it turned up in can i have moment instead.

hopefully it has been rectified it now.

I will have an update for can i have a moment soon. i started writing it when my friend passed away and it gave me focus. i have found going back to it difficult but i will finish what i started.


	17. Chapter 17

As I walked back into the Kitchen area I could hear voices, Irish ones. I mean don't get me wrong Chlo had a twang which was very sexy indeed yet Siobhan, Niamh and Patrick had very thick accents. I could hear Chloe laughing so hearty. Siobhan 'where are ya mum? That not our house?'

I know beautiful I am in Liverpool, Beca was visiting a friend and asked if I wanted to come too. What is Patrick shouting?'

'Oh he is asking if you will get him a Liverpool football top, I miss you mum, I wish you were here.' Siobhan's voice went very quiet.

'hey baby don't cry, I am right here you can see me right? You can hear me? And before you know it you will be home and we can have massive cuddles cant we? But Daddy will be so sad if he thinks you are miserable being with him. An you have lots of things to explore too.'

I could see Chloe was trying so hard not to cry.

'I know mum, but he isn't you. He always spends more time with Niamh and Patrick, I think sometimes he doesn't like me.'

Hearing my beautiful amazing daughter tell me that she doesn't think her dad doesn't like her broke my heart. I wanted to scoop her up out of the screen in front of me and tell her how magic and perfect she was.

Siobhan, your daddy adores you, tonight when the others go to bed ask him about the day you were born. Get him to tell you the story, then you will understand how much your daddy loves you ok.'

'Ok mum, I best go Patrick wants to talk to you. I love you. 6 sleeps.'

'Siobhan mum loves you to the moon and back and more. 6 sleeps then me and you can have a girly night. We can watch a musical and sing along while we have hot chocolates and our cookies, ok?'

'Can we watch Funny Girl?'

'Baby we can watch whatever you like!'

'Bye mum'

With that Patrick appeared 'why you in Liverpool mum, and I want the red kit and can I have number 10 on it please? Pretty please?

'hello to you too Patrick, an only if you behave yourself for dad ok? What you been up to?

'ok, I promise. It's weird not being with you mum. Dad doesn't dance,' at this point Patrick put his hand to the side of his mouth like he didn't want anybody to hear what he was saying. 'Sometimes dad is boring.' I let out a little giggle. 'yeah but you will be doing so many cool things this week.'

'yeah but I want to go to Becas house more mum, it is like a palace, it is huge. When I get home can you get me dance lessons please? Dad said no. Nut I really want too.' Thomas was beginning to get on my nerves. 'of course, I will book you some of?'

'Yesssssssssss thanks mum. I better go as we have to get ready to go out. I love you and tell Beca I said helloooooooooooo'

'I will buddy I love you too so much.' With that it went quiet I could hear Thomas talking with Niamh. Within minutes she appeared. 'mummy I miss you! While I was on the plane I watched a film like what you and Siobhan do, it was this one', before i could say anything my youngest daughter still in her pjs started prancing around the room she was in. singing 'I wannabe be like you, I wannabe like you…' She was pretending to be an orangutan, while singing away. Before I knew it Patrick joined in.

I looked up to see Bec watching me from the door. I beckoned her with my hand to come and see what I was watching.

I walked over to Chloe and stood behind her, just as Niamh and Patrick bent over shaking their bums to the ipad that Siobhan now had control of.' I couldn't stop laughing. After about 5mintes Chloe told the children to go and get ready for their day. That she misses them millions and that she cannot wait for them to come home. Before she turned the phone off, all Beca heard was all three children shouting her name. 'Hey guys hope you are all having a good time see you when you get back to mum yeah?' with that Chloe was blowing a million kisses to them. Then it went all quiet. Chloe took a deep breath. God I miss them, Siobhan nearly killed me, I adore that little girl how could she be feeling like that.

I felt Becs hands on my shoulders. She began to massage me, I started to feel the tension release as she did so. She started to sing. Her voice was so soft

'She's got a smile that it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything

Was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I stared too long

I'd probably break down and cry

Sweet child o' mine

Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain

I'd hate to look into those eyes

And see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place

Where as a child I'd hide

And pray for the thunder and the rain

To quietly pass me by

Sweet child o' mine

Sweet love of mine

As Bec finished she kissed the top of my head. I turned around wiping tears from my face. 'You are just so perfect. Come on lets make these biscuits.' I stood up walked towards the kitchen and as I walked passed Beca I placed a sweet kiss on her nose.

Me and Chloe spent the next 2hours baking and decorating our biscuits. We made them as emoji's which was funny and we sent pictures to Siobhan on her ipad. She thought they were ace and wanted to make them when she came home.

It was 6 O'clock and I had organised for me and Chlo to go to the Vincent for our tea but I had recently seen that there was an outdoor showing of Moulin Rouge at the Bombed-Out Church. You could take your own blankets, drink and food. It looked an awesome place and perfect for our proper first date.

Chloe was stood in the bedroom in her underwear. She had these very cute French white knickers and this white lace bra. I walked up behind her placing my arms on her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder. 'what you after?' she asked me with a wink. 'nothing, just wear something you will be warm in, we maybe outside for a little while.'

'I thought we were going for a meal and then for drinks?'

'well that was the original plan but what we are doing now is so much better'

With that Chloe put on some navy skinny jeans and a red and navy plaid shirt. She was tying up her black chuck2 converse when she could hear Beca talking on the phone 'Hey Gran, you ok? House ok? Yeh we are having a great time just out to the bombed-out church an Yeah Kate was awesome last night. She says hi by the way!' Gran was laughing. Yeah I have, do not go mad, I had Jesse get on to that for me. He knows what to do. He said he cant wait to see you next week. Will do, if you need me just ring love you. With that Beca put the phone down and turned round. 'wow, you even look hot in plaid.'

'never mind staring get dressed!'

I threw my skinny jeans on and a black vest tee with a grey blazer. I had black boots on and my hair down. I put some subtle make up and walked in to the kitchen. 'Ready?'

'indeed, you look erm very nice'

'why thank you, you don't look so bad yourself.'

'Come on, I figured we could walk, it says it is about 20minutes, what do you think?'

'I think it sounds like a plan so long as we can get a hot chocolate on the way?'

'of course' I had arranged with the venue for them to pic up some food, wine and blankets for me and I had made a donation to the site to help keep it open.

We held hands as we walked through the city, we talked about the children and about what it was like being a mum, and as hard as I found that conversation I was happy we were able to talk about it and I don't know why but talking to Chlo about it was easy.

'Do you think you would have any more children?' Chloe looked at me with a glance, You know what I would. I adore being a mum it is amazing.'

'what about you, do you think you will try again Becs?'

'no. I couldn't bare the worrying, that something would go wrong. Besides, if this date goes well tonight at some point in the future I will have three children whizzing around my brain to not miss what I don't have. If that makes sense.'

Chloe squoze my hand 'totally.' On that note we had arrived. 'omg Bec you have to be kidding me? This places is amazing.' We walked in and there were picnic blankets spread everywhere and you could see little lights where they would come on when it got darker. 'Alright ladies can I help you, I am Jack?'

'Hiya Jack, I have a blanket reserved so to speak, under Mitchell.'

'ahhhhh yes, sound stuff it is just over here. I am guessing you have been here before?'

'no, neither of us.' I couldn't help but look at the building. It was stunning.

As we arrived in front of our blanket couldn't believe it. We were in a corner with a perfect few, there was breads, oils, meats, cheeses and a bottle of the good stuff'

'beca, this is erm amazing'

'glad you like it, sit down lets get the drinks on the go.'

I was taking pictures and Siobhan messaged me. 'dad really does love me doesn't he?'

I message her back 'Yes my beautiful girl, more than you will ever understand. xx

'everything ok?' I looked up at Beca, 'Yeah everything is perfect.

For the next few hours we ate drank, cuddled, sang and I even cried. I loved Moulin Rouge but watching it like this was awesome. It made me feel all warm inside, and I had such an urge to tell Beca I was falling for her and I was shit scared that she may not be falling at the same rate as me.

We walked slowly back to the apartment about midnight, the city lights lighting up Chlo face and hair. She was so unaware I was faling for her, I was shit scared I was falling for her. I was so wanting to tell her too, but I couldn't bring myself.

'Bec, can we take a walk to the dock? It just looks so pretty at night'

'yeah of course.' We headed in that direction and just took in the sounds and smells of the river, the bustle of the bars and the breeze on our faces. As we walked past the Tate art gallery I noticed some of the railing had padlocks on them. 'omg Becs love locks, how awesome'

'love what?' The sheer word love coming out of Chloe's mouth had my stomach in knots.

'locks, so when you are in love you buy a lock have it engraved or written on and you lock it on here together and throw the key in to the river, and it seals your love'

'That is pretty cute like'

'I'd so have one, I think they are fab.'

An without thinking my big fat mouth opened and this came tumbling out 'Well ive no doubt yo wil have one sooner than you think'

'is that so?' My stomach did the biggest swirl I have ever known when Beca said that.

Oh shit what have I done I am a total muppet.

'erm yeah it is' Oh sod this I just need to tell her 'Chloe, I erm don't want you to freak out even though I am super freaking out but I erm I am erm well I think I am er no I know that I am erm' Looked up at Chloe. She took my hands in hers. 'Breathe, Beca, I feel the same. An I am also scared, it is ok though.' With that we shared a kiss. 'what about the children, I don't want them to be as confused as me, Chloe.'

'the children don't need to know anything right now. Even we don't know anything, we are just going with the flow and that flow right now would like to take us back to the apartment. Beca, take me back and make love to me.

So that is exactly what I did.

After 3 hours of exploring each other, I was exhausted. Chloe had truly tired me out. Tonight felt different to last night, we were a lot more relaxed with each other, we talked about what we liked and what we would like to try. ' I was lying there looking at Beca, you do realise you have like woken up a sexual beast.' I was laughing 'I mean it Bec I had stopped having physical contact, I was ashamed of my body. I mean sometimes I am like I look shit I am ugly, my mind then takes over and because I didn't feel people found me attractive but then you came along and its like my sex drive has gone through the roof. I cannot get enough of you.'

I smiled back at her 'my lord its only me.'

'yeah you who is so going to blow my mind when we return back to mine. For now though I need sleep. ' we held each other and I was thinking about our last day and what we could do. With that I felt myself drifting off.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I woke up around 11am I moved over to find Chloe but she wasn't there. Just a note on the inside of ripped cake box.

Bec's,

You looked so beautiful, I didn't want to wake you. After last night, I think you deserved a lie in. I have popped to the shopping area to pick a few bits up for the children. Needed some head space too, Thomas messaged to say an offer has been made on the house, he has accepted L

Txt me when you wake,

Clo xxx

I took a deep breath, picked my phone and rang Gran.

'an to what do I owe this phone call?'

'Gran, erm this house, that I have bought of Chlo's how am I going to tell her it is me without her going off?'

The line went quiet. 'well my beautiful grand-daughter I think I need to pop the kettle on and you need to tell me the truth. I want to know everything that is going on in your head and your heart. An there is no point with all this we are taking it as it happens stuff, I know you have slept together, and now you are all fluffy in your head, so is hiding something the right things to do?.'

'Jesus'

'no your gran.'

'Ha Gran not funny'

'Beca I have known you from your first breath, there isn't much you keep from me, so spill and then I will advise, then you can decide what you want to do.'

'ok well I have never felt things for anybody, like what I do for her, I can't even describe it, like as soon as I see her, hear her, see her name, smell her perfume, feel her touch I just get lost in this place, I have never felt so nervous yet so at home around somebody, the first time we kissed I thought my stomach was going to spin out of me and that my heart was beating a million times faster. An I didn't want it to stop and I haven't wanted it to stop since. I have tried and tried to be rational but it is like I am under this spell. Then when we were here and we slept together it wasn't anything like any physical interaction I have had before, it wasn't sex it was something much more on a level I didn't think existed. An I have never felt so at one with somebody, it is like she has this spell.' I let out this big breath.

'Ok Rebeca, I think it is a word and it begins with L, and as much as I would like you not to be just yet, you cannot help it, when it happens beautiful girl it happens.'

'Shit, if this is the L word why did I never have this with Jesse?'

'Bec, you loved Jesse and I have no doubt you fell in love with him, but I always felt something was missing in your eyes with him, I didn't doubt your relationship with him but you always seemed to be waiting for something extra. An I have seen you with Clo, it is like you have an electricity running through you, like a charge.'

As Gran was saying that I could feel myself smiling and I could feel a warm feeling run through my blood.

'Gran, I am in love with Chloe, aren't i? holy crap.'

'indeed, you are, and I think you are on the front row of one hell of a rollercoaster!'

'what do you mean?' I had gone from feeling warm to feeling nervous within a few seconds. I waited for Grans response.

'you know I love you and I want you to be happy and I have no doubt you will have that with Chloe, however when I kept saying about taking time it was because, she is fragile emotionally, she has been with Thomas a very long time, they have been through so much as a couple and as individuals. They have three children. Yes, she maybe, happy to have separated but we both know it isn't that easy, it is like grieving, right? Re-finding yourself, But you have to understand that she may one day in the future be your everything but her children will always be her everything if you understand me?'

'Yeah I know that and I understand, I mean that's why I am just focusing on the now, at some point I will have to return home for good, not like she can follow me right?' Shit was I setting myself up for a massive fall? I went quiet.

Gran could sense this and the drop in my tone. 'Beca, tell me one thing you adore about Chlo.'

I felt a smile across my face as I thought about Chlo. 'the way she just wants to be around me for just being me'

'Ok, so if she just wants to be around you for just being you, she will understand the house and if it is meant to be you will work everything out. Tell her about the house, you will know when the right time is. For now enjoy your last day in Liverpool and I will see you tomorrow for a few whiskeys.'

'Thanks Gran, see you tomorrow.'

'love you Rebeca, always have and I always will'

'Love you too Gran'

I swiped my phone and opened my messages.

Beca: I am up, you ok? Xxx

I could see Chlo typing, so I waited for her reply before I got up.

Clo: Hey You, you sleep ok? I am picking up coffee and I will be on my way back, I'll be about 10mins xxx

I dragged myself out of bed and headed to the shower. I put my music on as I stepped in letting the warm water cascade over me. Vienna by Billy Joel was playing, an I got completely lost in the moment singing along at the top of my voice. I loved this song so much. I t reminded me of my mum. She used to play his music all the time, I liked playing it in the shower sometimes, as the warmth of the water felt like she was engulfing me in an embrace even though she wasn't around. I missed her so much, cancer was a bitch.

I was brought out of my little world as the track changed. I left the shower and threw some boyfriend jeans on and a blue v neck tee and a grey zip up. I left my hair loose as I headed to the kitchen. I placed some pop tarts in the toaster and found myself singing to Bruno mars just the way you are. I heard the door open and Chloe walked in, two coffee's and several shopping bags in hand.

'Hey' I smiled. She dropped her bags and walked over to me 'Hey, great track.' She kissed my cheek and took my hand, before placing her other hand on my waist and we began to dance. 'when I see your face, there's not a thing I would change…' Chloe sang into my ear. I smirked and could feel myself go red. 'This is a nice surprise Clo'

'well if you cannot dance with a beautiful girl when just the way you are is on then when can you?' I smirked 'charmer' Clo started laughing as always Mitchell.

We separated as the song finished. 'You ok?' we were sat on the sofa with our coffee. 'you know what Becs this morning when Thomas messaged me I wasn't I was so emotional and I just needed some space. Then I was walking around thinking actually this is it, the chance for everything to change, I mean I have no damn Idea what I will do to find a place and to afford it but I will because my children need me too. It is just sad, Thomas said the guy that has bought it said there is no rush for me to move out as he will only rent it out anyway. So I guess that isn't too bad.'

'will he not let you rent it off him?'

'you know what Becs never even thought to ask, that would be perfect, I could use my half of the money to fund rent until I get a job. I mean would save me having to uproot the children. I will have to ask Thomas for his contact details. Thanks'

Chloe leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. This was awkward.

'So what shall we do for our last day Becs?'

'well I thought we could hit the museums like we said we were going too, especially the Tate gallery that looks cool.'

'sounds like a plan to me babe.' My stomach just flipped. Chloe just called me babe. Wow.

We headed out and had a fantastic day, we pretty much played tourists, took more selfies than ever needed. We sent random messages to Siobhan and she did the same back of her, Niamh and Patrick, we had lunch in a cute little pub which was pirate themed. We had a walk around the dock, jumped on the ferry for a river cruise and by 7pm the two of us were ready to stick our pjs on and chill out. We picked up some prosecco, chocolate, ice cream and other bits and bobs and headed back.

Once back in the apartment, we were stood in our room about to change into our pjs. 'Bec random I know but, fancy sharing a shower?'

'That sounds awesome to me, like I could ever say no to such an invite'

We stepped into the shower and allowed our hands to wonder across each other, we shared several kisses and then once we were out we snuggled up on the sofa. I was sat with my back up against the arm of the sofa and Chlo was lying in between my legs. She had picked a movie from the pile of DVDs next to the tv. We were currently watching Amelie. To be honest I did love this movie. I found myself playing with her hair and I didn't want to go back, I love the little bubble we had created here. Chlo paused the movie. 'Bec, what you are thinking?'

She caught me off guard. 'erm nothing I was watching this with you.'

'Bec, you so were not, you have been in a world of your own for the past 30mins. So spill'

'Ok guess I just don't wat this to end, being here in this bubble of me and you'

'Aww you big softie. I know what you mean though' she leant forward and kissed me. Before I knew it, our kisses went from being gentle and soft to being passionate, Chloe had moved so she was straddling me. She pulled away, 'I bought something for us today, I want to show you.' I smiled 'is that so?' Clo climbed off me and headed to one of the bags she had brought back in with her earlier that day. She opened one before pulling another bag out. She bit down on her lip as I watched her intently. She began to walk back over to me and gave me a black bag. I opened it for it to show a small neon vibrator. I looked up to Chlo who seemed to be kneeling nervously on the floor next to me, waiting for my reaction.

'my fingers not enough for you hey?' I smirked as Chloe jumped to quash my words.

'OMG Beca no, that's not what, I mean from the other night when we talked I thought I would surprise you for our last night here I didn't me to, my god you..'

I shut clo up by kissing her. I pulled away 'Chlo I was joking, chill out.' She hit my arm

'no need, that was mean' I was laughing 'so you going to just sulk at me now or you going to show me what you want me to do with this?'

With that Chlo smirked, I stood up off the sofa, took Chloe's hand in mine and lead her to the bedroom.

I placed the bag on the bedside table, and pulled Clo into me. I moved her hair to one side, I trailed kissed down her neck to her collar bone and ran my hands up her vest top. She didn't have a bra on and when my hand glided across her breasts she gave out a small moan. I pulled her vest top up, she lifted her arms up as I lifted it over her head. I threw it on the floor and gently pushed her back on to the bed. I stood between her legs and leant forward and we kissed, I pulled away and proceeded to run my tongue across her breasts placing kisses also. I trailed kisses down her toned stomach until I reached her pj shorts waistband. I pulled at this and Chloe quickly lifted her hips so I could remove them. This revealed chlo's lace French knickers, they were hot. I looked up at her, her piercing blue eyes meeting mine. I oved back up the bed so I was lying with my front pressed up to her back and began to kiss her passionately. I placed my hand on the front of her French knickers and I could feel how much she wanted me already, it was such a turn on. I placed my hand inside the waist band. 'chlo you are so wet' I slightly bit down on the lobe of her ear, before reconnecting our lips. Her tongue and mine fought for dominance, I began to move my fingers along her folds feeling how wet she was, she gave out a low moan as my fingers circled her clit. I did this at various speeds for several minutes before removing her knickers and placing my tongue between her leg. As my tongue teased her clit I could feel her body squirming and she had her hands in my hair pushing my tongue harder on to her. I pulled away and picked the vibrator off the side.

I slowly teased her entrance with the tip and she moaned loudly. 'Beca, make me cum, I need you' Hearing this was all I needed. I placed myself on my side so my front was pressed into her back. As I kissed Chlo passionately I pushed the tip of the vibrator inside Chloe, it went it easily due to how wet and turned on Chloe was. As I hit the button for vibrations I began to move the vibrator slowly in and out of Chloe.

Holy fuck did this feel good, Beca was pushed up behind me and she had the vibrator I bought inside me she was moving it in and out of me with such ease as I was so turned on and it felt so good. She was so attentive as she continued to kiss me as she push and pulled the vibrator, in and out of me. I knew it wasn't going to take me much longer before I came and I knew I would come so hard. I pulled away from her kiss. 'Babe make me come, I want you to do that harder and faster' Bec did exactly as I said and my god my eyes were rolling in my head. I could feel the knot building inside. Beca began to hit me harder and within moment I could feel myself about to come, my face and neck were going red, I was shaking and tense and as I came real hard Beca baby I am coming 'Holy fuck, Beca, Beca she ignored my plas for her to stop and continued to push the vibrator in and out of me which made me come again in quick succession. 'Omg omg Becs' I came harder and my whole body felt the ripple effect that was coming from deep inside me. Beca left the vibrator inside me as she ran her hands through my hair and kissed me. I could feel the smug smile on her face as she kissed me and I could feel the beads of sweat running down my face. As she pulled away from me she slowly pulled the vibrator out of me, which caused me to whither beneath her touch.

She placed the vibrator on the bedside table. She was knealing on the bed, she pulled her tee off, lay down lifted her hips and removed her jeans. She then lay on top of me between my legs and kissed me 'You are amazing Chlo, and so damn beautiful.' I rolled Beca over, 'an you are sexy as Mitchell' she smirked at me, you need glasses.

I was laying on top of Chloe and she slowly rolled me over undoing my bra before she did. She began to pepper kisses down my torso and had her hands on my breasts teasing my nipples as she did so. 'chlo, I want to feel your tongue in me' Chloe moved down the bed as I lifted my hips to remove my underwear. Within a few moments I could feel her tongue running up and down my folds which were so wet. 'Beca I want to use the Vibrator on you too is that ok?' I bit down on my lip 'yes please' I wiped it and before I placed it deep inside Beca I teased her clit with my tongue, to the point she was desperate to feel the vibrator. She wasn't far from reaching climax and I knew if I hit her hard and fast she would come so fast and so hard. So that is exactly what I did. I moved the vibrator in and out of her so fast and within moments she was screaming. 'Chloe, fuck fuck, Chloe stop stop' I felt Beca come hard on the vibrator her body was shaking, she had beads of sweat over her and she was lying there motionless. 'you ok I asked her?'

'Ok? You are asking me that after what you just put my body through. Wow.' Chloe smiled, 'worth the money then?'

I pulled her in so I could feel her naked body on mine. I placed my hands in her hair and could feel her intensely looking at me. 'worth the money, id say so, that was the most intense orgasm of my life. Wow.'

We lay there in each other's arms for nearly an hour kissing, talking about the little things we liked about each other bodies. I pointed out to Beca some freckles she had in places that were cute. She told me how much she found my hips sexy. Are fingers drew patterns on the skin of another, we laughed about previous sex nightmares we had with Exs and about losing our virginity 'Beca, I am kind nervous about when we go back tomorrow.'

I looked into her eyes 'ok, h ow come?'

Well this has been so amazing but I know when we get back you will have to sort your apartment and start work in the next two weeks and I will have the children, the move, and a job to find. What if we don't get time that is just us? I mean not having daily love making moments will suck but I have an imagination and can use flash backs to get me through I guess' I chuckled. 'Chloe, I was thinking you would come help me with my apartment while the children were still away and then obviously we are off to L.A and gran is coming too so she can baby sit the odd night. Then we can think about what happens after that.'

Chloe took a deep breath. 'Bec I need to tell you something because if I don't I am going to explode but I don't want to scare you or frighten you off'

'Hey hey hey, Chlo nothing you could say to me would scare me or frighten me ok? So whatever it is just tell me.'

Chloe rolled over on her back as I lay on my side with my left arm propping my head up. I was looking at her like really looking at her and her facial features and My stomach was in knots and my heart was racing I had no idea what Chloe was going to say but I knew I was falling and she was so beautiful, I hated that she was nervous to tell me something, I was brought out of my little world 'Beca I think, in fact scrap that, I know, no actually right, scrap that too, ithinkiamfallingforyou.'

Chloe said the last bit so fast and without a breath I had no idea what she had said.

'What?' Chloe sighed. I placed my hand in hers and pulled her gently towards me so she was now on her side and we were looking at each other. 'Chlo, take your time and repeat to me what you just said. I didn't hear you as you spoke so fast, I am not going to leave your side whatever it is as I am naked, and this bed is far too comfy for me to want to move ok?'

Chloe laughed 'Sorry I feel like such a teenager, right take two.'

I smiled and squeezed her hand. Chloe looked down at the bed sheet before opening her mouth. 'The thing is Becs, I am falling for you, and the more time I spend with you the harder I am falling and its hardly been any time at all and my head and heart are so up the wall and I..' with that I was cut off by Becs lips on mine, she pulled me in for such a passionate kiss, I completely lost my breath. I pulled away and she was there staring back at me. 'Chlo, I am completely falling for you too and I didn't want to freak you out or put pressure on you'

What I felt in that moment as Beca said those words back to me was unlike anything I had felt before, there was a sense of relief too. Beca was falling for me as much as I was falling for her, wow. With that my mobile started to ring 'shit I best throw some clothes on it will be the kids on skype!' we were both laughing away 'go on you get dressed and il tidy up from our sexscapade' Chloe was laughing as she threw her shorts and vest top back on. 'hey Chloe you may want to brush your hair' I winked 'oh fuck yeah, tho hopefully the children have no idea what the just fucked look is!' the two of us burst our laughing as her phone began to ring again. 'Hey,Siobhan you ok baby?'


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 15

Chloe and I spent around 20minutes on skype with the children, before saying goodbye. She put the phone down as I handed her a glass of wine. She took it off me but remind silent. 'something is not right with my baby Beca, I am really worried about her. She has never been a clingy, emotional kid, she is so independent and headstrong. Do you mind if I ring Thomas?'

'of course, I don't mind, I am just going to read this article in the magazine anyway.'

I walked off to the bedroom, and called him. 'Chlo, what's up?'

'I am really worried about Siobhan, something isn't right with her, she seems really clingy and emotional all the time and its only been a few days since she went.'

'oh so its my fault?'

'oh Thomas I never said that and I really don't want to fight or argue I am just worried about her'

'that worried that you are on a city break with Beca, you guys hooking up now? You have that glow about you.'

'what are you even talking about? And I am not ringing you to talk about me or you I am concerned about Siobhan. Also, I want the details for the guy buying the house, I want to speak to him about renting it'

'your after-sex glow Chlo, I know it and you are showing it. Siobhan is fine, plus mum is here so she would have noticed if anything was up. His name is Mr Swanson, I'll message you his number, but how you going to afford that?'

'Omg Thomas you have no idea, and I am not showing any after sex glow as in case you hadn't noticed I haven't had sex in near 4months as I have been with you. Not that my sex life is anything to do with you anymore and I would prefer it if you didn't get so personal in our conversation. It's inappropriate especially when I am worried about our daughter. An I can use my money from the sale of the house to tide me over until I find a new place. Il call your mum and speak to her about Siobhan. Enjoy your holiday' with that I put the phone down. I sent his mum a message, just explaining I was worried something wasn't right.

Within seconds Thomas's mum was calling. I picked it up 'Hey Chloe my love, you ok?'

I don't know why, well I do because Thomas's mum had always felt like a mum to me but at hearing her voice I just started crying. 'I am so worried about Siobhan, she is like 8 years old and she has become so clingy and emotional, she doesn't seem to be having an enjoyable time at all. Is she ok?'

'Oh Chloe love don't cry, she is absolutely fine, she is just finding you and Thomas breaking up hard. They all are, she is just very sensitive like her mum and is just worried about you more than anything. She is worrying you won't have money and that because you will have to work that she won't see you as much. An unfortunately she has heard her dad say awful things to you which I can only apologise for and so her opinion of him is not great right now and to be honest I do not blame her. Plus I think Patrick is annoying her more than normal, he is very hyped.' I laughed. 'he always is, and well just let her know she can ring me any time at all or message me and I will answer straight away. You don't need to apologise for Thomas either, he is a grown man, he can take accountability.'

'Chloe, I heard him before talking to you about Rebeca, an just for the record even if you are on a romantic break and there is something between you both grab it with both hands, I am heartbroken you and Thomas have split but you were both so unhappy, please go and re-find yourself and fall madly in love again at some point, you deserve that tenfold.'

'Yeah he was pretty intense before. I won't lie there is some feelings there but it's all pretty crazy and I have no idea where it has come from or what I am going to do about it. I have only ever really known Thomas and so everything is just hard. I am not on a romantic break, Beca has a friend playing a gig and figured I could do with the break. I am heading home tomorrow morning, and I need to ring the guy that has placed an offer in on the house. There is so much for me to organise and sort out. Plus, I am taking the children back to the states next week with me, Beca and her Gran, so I need to sort all that too. Just all a bit stressed and emotional, Can, we please always remain in touch I don't think I could bare to lose you.'

'As I said before just find yourself, learn to love yourself again. I will always be here for you, you are like my own daughter, and if Thomas ever gets too much then you let me know I will sort him out. I love you Chloe, now go and finish your wine and I will get Siobhan to ring you tomorrow.'

'I love you too, so so much. Thank you, give the kids kisses for me. Xxx'

I put the phone down and lay on the bed. My head and heart had never been so messed up so confused and I had never been so emotional before. I was having the time of my life with this girl who was just perfect yet I was about to return home to an empty house, and deal with the prospect of finding a job and starting to pack up. I made a big sigh. I needed hug. I walked back into the living space and sat down next to Beca before she could say anything I snuggled in to her so hard. She placed her arms around me and just held me. She never said anything. I think she knew I didn't want to talk.

We spent the next hour in silence watching tv, I was pretty zoned out and I could tell by this point Beca wanted to say something. I ran my hands through my hair and stood up.

'Chlo you ok?' she had been so quiet since she came back in off the phone and I didn't want to say anything until she was ready to talk.

I didn't want to go back tomorrow as I knew things would go back to not being in this bubble. However, I knew in a few days we would be in the states but that was all of us and something so new to me.

'Beca, when we get back, I need to ring this Swanson guy to see if I can stay in the house and I need to decide what I am doing and I need to sort things for the kids.'

My stomach hit the floor, shit was she saying that she didn't want me around? Fuck.

'yeah I figured you would have lots to go through, do you want me to back off? Let you get things sorted? Il cancel the flights and stuff next week, I don't want you to feel pressured about anything and I know everything going on is causing you to be so stressed out and I don't want to add to that.' Before I could finish what I was saying I felt Chloe's lips on mine, she began kissing me. It was such a passionate kiss, moments later she pulled away taking a breath.

'I definitely don't want that' I swallowed hard and smiled, relief washed over my body.

'I just don't think I will be able to help you as much at your place as I thought I would, that is all.'

'Ok, that is sound, to be fair there is not much for me to do, and I kind of need to talk to you about LA.' I became quite shy, 'You see I am pretty well known over there, for the work I have done, an there maybe some interest in me at the airport. So I was wondering if you would mind going through with Gran and I will go through separately and then meet you at my place? I just don't want you or the children getting freaked out, the paparazzi kinda don't care so long as they get a picture.'

I sat there looking at this girl next door type in front of me and couldn't believe what she was saying. 'are you serious?'

'Unfortunately, so, I have had people follow me in the supermarket, ikea, cinema. Resturants etc and I don't want you and the children to go through it, it's scary. I mean some guys are proper nice, some are not.'

'Woah so you are shit hot famous then?'

I hated that question. I didn't see myself as famous, never had. I was just me. However, I guess to Chloe I was shit hot famous. 'well possibly, however I don't buy into it. I like to keep myself to myself. I don't buy super expensive things and I don't have a cleaner or people that do things for me. I mean I have a manager and I have a mate Alex he's like my best friend and he comes with me to events etc an checks in on my place when I am not there but I don't have an entourage.'

'Alex? You haven't mentioned him before?'

'Yeah Alex is well Alex haha super gay and a super geek like me. He is like the peanut butter to my jelly. He is away himself at the minute in some far-out island chilling out after putting up with my sorry ass for the last 18 months. Bless him, we used to live together too so he is my go too, my BFF when he hears about you he will freak out haha'

'why?'

'He has said since he met me that one day I would find a woman that would turn me'

We both laughed. 'So, what do you wanna do next week? Il be at the apartment till Wednesday, back Thursday morning to Grans and then off to L.A Saturday morning. Fancy a date night at my place on Wed and then you can come back with me Thursday morning?'

I had wondered over to the kitchen to make a drink. 'Yeah that sounds great. I am so excited about seeing the children and seeing your place! Will Alex be back while we are there?'

'Ace, and to be honest I am not sure, if he is il know about it. Haha'

I made my drink and motioned to Becs I was off to bed, I was so tired. She followed me through a few moments later and we looked back at pictures we had taken while here and had a low key make out session before falling asleep.

The past 5 days had gone so fast, we were about to board the plane at the airport, I felt whole again having my children back and me and Becs had a perfect date night at hers. I had decided that I wanted to be a midwife and had been writing my applications off for the new in take of students and I had conversation with Mr Swanson who said I could stay in the house indefinitely as he was only going to use it to rent out anyway. That was such a relief, I managed to get a job at the local nursery where Niamh attended which really helped, so I was starting that when I got back from L.A. While we were in LA, Thomas was moving his stuff out so it really was a new start when we were to get back. I sat on the plane and looked across at my children, who were all next to each other and I swear my heart could of burst. I loved them so much and was so glad to have them back with me.

I was sat next to Gran on the flight, she passed me back my passport. 'you might want to keep that safe Rebeca Swanson' I frowned, 'You nearly gave it to Chloe, she would have been like swanson?'

'Oh shit Gran thanks! I completely forgot!'

I hated that I hadn't said anything to Chlo about the house, I figured I would tell her once we got to mine. Chloe was sat just across from me. I placed my arm out across the walkway and brushed her hand. She turned around quickly and gave me a wink.

'you ok?'

'Yeah Becs I am good, looking forward to seeing your place. To be honest I think the kids will be asleep within the hour they are shattered, that country hike we went on yesterday has knackered them out. Think even tired me out, I will put my music on and read my book I think'

'I know my legs are sore today to be fair, an good shout, I am going to put Orange is the New Black on I have some catching up to do!'

Before I knew it we had landed. I had gone through what would happen when we landed with Chloe and Gran and that I would meet them back at my place.

Walking through arrivals was busy as always and to be fair there were only a few paps around nothing major. I made my way through and jumped in a car that was waiting for me. Within about a hour I arrived at home. I jumped out the car and headed inside. I had been in around 15 minutes when Gran, Chlo and the kids walked in. Gran had a key.

All I heard was Patrick 'mum I knew it! Beca is famous, she has a palace. WOW'

I could hear Chlo laughing.

'Hey guys, you all ok? Welcome to my house! Rules are, the only place that is a no-go area is my bedroom. Gran will tell you even she isn't allowed in there.'

Chloe looked at me and bit down on her lip, giving me the look of really?

'Right Beca where shall I put all this stuff?'

'I figured the kids could share this room, it has a double bed in it and I had 2 camp beds put in there too. Figured Siobhan might like the big bed to herself.'

Siobhan looked at me 'thanks, Mum where are you sleeping?'

I looked at Chloe, I wanted to share a bed with her so bad but I knew that wasn't going to be possible. 'I thought maybe your mum might like my room and I will sleep down here, with Gran in the spare room.'

Siobhan looked at us. 'Mum can you sleep in out room with us?'

Chloe looked over at me while Gran was moving passed to the spare room. 'of course, I can stay with you guys! Be like a big sleep over and Beca you can keep your bed!'

'so long as you are all sure? each room has a bathroom and shower so help yourselves.'

By the time everybody was settled it was around 10pm. I had put the fire on outside, Gran had a few Whiskey's poured out and Chloe had showered and put the kids to bed. She came outside in shorts and a vest top picking up a drink as she sat down.

'So what do you two have planned this week then? I was thinking if you want me to babysit one night so you can spend some time together I will just let me know.'

'Thanks Gran, I thought I would take the guys t Knott's Soak City, Legoland and Universal Studio etc. 'Oh take Patrick to Santa Monica Broadwalk he will love skating down there' I chuckled 'yeah he would Gran'

'Siobhan will enjoy that too' said Cho.

'Right well just let me know when you want some time together and I will sort the children out, but for now this one needs her bed, that whiskey is good stuff Beca!'

I chuckled as she walked by as if she had lived here all her life. Chloe stood up and walked over to the wooden railing and looked out on to LA. 'Beca this place is amazing, you must think my place is a right state.'

I poured another drink 'are you joking? I love your place it is so much greater than this! Don't get me wrong I love this place and L.A but where you are it is so peaceful and it grounds me, you can lose yourself here. Easily.' I placed my arms around Chlo's waist and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.

She swallowed hard. 'I am hating not being able to touch or kiss you. Today when Siobhan was insistent I slept with them part of me was gutted, and then I felt so guilty for feeling that way, I just wanted to be close to you, even if the night time was all we got.'

I knew exactly what she meant. 'come with me.' I took Chlo's hand and lead her up the wooden spiral staircase up to my room. My room was the only one upstairs. Just off from my room was a small office a walk-in wardrobe and I had a double all glass shower. There was a small balcony with sliding doors so you could sit and watch the sunset or rise. I had a king size bed just so I could get lost in it. As we entered I closed the door. I lead her to the bed and my stomach was like a washing machine as I did so. I sat next to her on the bed and placed my hand on her face, I smiled at her, she looked so beautiful as the moonlight hit her face, I moved in and we kissed slowly, sensually, she leaned back into my pillows, as our hands moved across each others bare skin under our clothes. We kissed like this for some time breaking to just look at each other in between. I rolled from my side on to my back.

'Chlo has Siobhan been ok since she got back? Just she seems to be a little distant towards me' Chlo ran her fingers through my hair 'I am glad you said that, I thought that too. I hope Thomas hasn't been mouthing off in front of her. Maybe we could spend some time with her just us when Patrick and Niamh have gone to bed tomorrow night?'

'Yeah what if I ask Gran to mind Patrick and Niamh tomorrow and we take Siobhan to the Last Book Shop she will love it in there, in fact you will want to move in! then we could go for pizza and come back? An then you guys can do something together and I will take Gran the movies.'

Chloe kissed me, 'That sounds perfect. I will ask her if she has heard him and i don't want to lie to her but nor do I want to confirm anything to her, she is 8 her head and heart will be so messed up and it will be all my fault. I cant bare it.'

'Hey, it isn't your fault. Look I am completely happy for us to be us when nobody else is around and if that means I only get to be with you like this for 20 minutes a week, then that will be the best 20minutes of my week ok? They come first. Always. Chloe they are little people, your little people and I am not going to get jealous of that. So, let Siobhan be a child, if that means it takes six months for her to engage with me properly again then It takes six months ok. Now give me a kiss and go and get in to bed so you are there when she wakes ok.'

Wow where did this girl come from. Even Thomas had never been like that towards his own children, yet Beca hardly knew them yet she was concerned about them. I leant in to her and we made out, it began to get a little heated, when Becs pulled away. She bit her lip and ran her thumb across the bottom of mine. 'as much as I want to make love to you right now, it isn't right, well it so is right but the kids are downstairs, so is Gran. I would hate for any of them to hear us or to walk in on us.' With that she kissed my neck before pulling away.

'seriously Mitchell you are something else. I am so glad a I met you.' With that she stood up and I walked her to my bedroom door, we kissed and she left. I puffed out the air in my cheeks and put the shower on. I needed a cold one and fast.

I walked into my room for the week to see the children fast asleep, I heard the shower running upstairs and smiled to myself. I got into bed and pulled my phone out. I txt Beca, 'hope that is a cold one, need one myself ;-) night and thank you for being you. Xxx'


	20. Chapter 20

I woke up to a ton of laughter, as I stirred I could hear Sorry by Justin Bieber, I picked up my phone to see it was around 9.30am I mean what is this time? However, the laughter made me want to get up and investigate. As I got out of bed and made my way to the stairs I could hear Patrick 'Niamh you are getting it all wrong, like this. Siobhan come on join in' I heard Gran laughing 'Patrick where do you get your energy from its so early?'

'I have a healthy breakfast and fruit juice' his response. I chuckled to myself as I heard Siobhan 'or you are just a drama queen'

Chloe, 'Siobhan don't be mean, he loves his dancing just like you like your singing.'

It was mad as I stood at the top of the stairs listening, my house had never felt so full.

I walked into the kitchen to see, Gran stood by the sink filling the kettle, Siobhan was stood up putting clothes on Niamh's doll, Niamh was watching her sister intently while eating toast. Patrick was dancing round in his boxer shorts along with Chloe. She had hold of his hands and was laughing as he wiggled his hips to Cheap Thrills by Sia

'Erm good morning' I ran my hand through my hair and smiled. 'I swear you can smell when coffee is on the go Rebeca' I smiled at Gran 'well you know the drill gran' we laughed, Niamh ran over to me and hugged my leg 'look at my doll that Siobhan did for me'

I crouched down to Niamh's level and took hold of her doll. 'wow she looks very pretty in this outfit, Siobhan must have a good eye for fashion'

'she does she is the best' I looked over to Siobhan who smiled and looked down at her Ipad. I stood up and felt Patrick's hand 'watch this Beca, me and mum have been practising'. He pressed skip on Chlo's phone which was blasting the music. Run DMC- It's like that started. He and Chloe started to do some made up routine, I could see Chloe wanted to die with embarrassment but this was important to Patrick so she was giving it her all. I got my phone out and started recording it, to which Chloe shouted out 'no recording please you have no permission' me and gran were laughing so much. Niamh started trying to copy her mum and Siobhan had gone outside on to the balcony away from the fun. As she did this Chloe looked over to me, with such a sadness. I followed Siobhan. 'god it is all a bit mad in there for me, you ok?'

Siobhan didn't look up from her ipad. 'I thought we could go to the water park today, what do you think?' nothing. Great I was crap with kids at the best of times, but I knew I needed to try. Or at least be honest.

'Siobhan can I ask you something important? You can be as honest as you like, I wont tell anybody your answer either.'

She looked up at me. 'shoot'

I was more nervous of this 8 year old girl than I had been of anything else my whole life.

'Have I don't something to upset you? Just you seem upset whenever I am around.'

She looked at me and I could see she didn't want to answer. She walked over to the wooden railing 'dad said that it is you that made mum not want to be his wife anymore and that's why he has to leave. Now I maybe 8 but I know that this was all dads fault. He kissed other girls and that made mum very sad. I could see that mum never smiled with dad, an then you came to graces and mum smiles like all the time. I get scared that dad wont like me if I like you too.'

My heart broke. Wow this poor girl wanted her dad to like her that much she was choosing to dislike me. 'It is good to know your mum has been smiling. That makes me happy. Thank you for being honest with me too. Just so you know for the future…I like you. You are very pretty, clever, funny and so kind. You are so like your mum. So if one day you want to be friends then I will be cool with that'

'Beca can I ask you a question?'

'Shoot'

'how did you get famous'

I smiled, 'well when I was your age, my mum and dad separated, like yours. My dad moved away and I never heard or saw him again, he wasn't very nice and so my mum didn't want him around me. So then it was always me and my mum and she was amazing she did everything with me. But she got poorly and she died when I was 13 and so then it was always me and Gran, mum had always said I was good at music and one day somebody would notice. So I worked really hard, and then one day she was right somebody did notice me and they liked what I did. I have to work very hard to keep these wonderful things but everything I do, I do for my mum.'

'I am sorry your mum died.'

'Hey you two what's up?'

'Hey Chlo, an nothing we were just talking about maybe going the water park'

Chloe looked at me like she knew I was lying but she walked up behind Siobhan and tickled her to the point where she was screaming mum get off please while laughing hard.

'Beca there is coffee here for you, an pop tarts if you get here before Patrick.

Siobhan shouted loud 'don't let Patrick have them he will go crazy hypo!'

'Don't worry Siobhan he would have to fight me for them'

At this point Patrick ran right at me and was trying to fight with me, everybody was laughing I picked him up and threw him on the sofa. 'I don't think so little dude'

'wait till we are in the water Park Beca I will get you'

'doubtful dude doubtful'

'right kids go get your swim stuff sorted.'

'Hey Bec, was Siobhan ok with you outside before?'

'Yeah she was good, don't worry, she just asked how I got famous'

Everybody was running around getting things ready to head out. My phone rang 'Hey Alex'

'don't hey Alex me, spill Mitchell and fast.'

'Spill what?'

'you know what. I saw Jesse at the airport he told me you have hooked up with some redhead Irish chick and you've even bought a house I mean what the hell, details. Now'

'I can't give you details now, I am busy, about to go to the water park.'

'What! The water park, you at the water park, you haven't been there in forever, an who you there with?'

'Well the American/Irish redhead and her children and Gran'

'wooooah wooooah woooooah, she has children? How many? and oh yessss Grace is over? Why didn't you message me? I fully expect an invite for coffee tomorrow.'

'Chill Alex, she has three children yes, and they are awesome. Yeah Grace is over, you mind if we don't meet tomorrow, mums anniversary. We can do day after?'

'Did you just say kids were awesome? Dude this girl must be good in bed. She has you under a spell, an yeah of course, you doing something with Grace?'

'Nar just going to be tourists with Chloe and the kids. Mum is with me all the time, but me and Gran are going to have a few drinks for her in the evening.'

'Well, gimme a txt and il see you'

I put the phone down an looked up Chlo was stood in the doorway. 'hey, you been stood there long?'

She looked at me as she leant on the door frame 'nope' she popped the P.

'Jesse is downstairs, he seems nice, he is with Grace on the balcony, said he wanted a quick word, he sounded familiar when he spoke. No idea why though!'

'ahhhh ok il be down in a second.' Shit! What if she figured out he was Mr Swanson!

'Can I come in for a second?'

'Erm yeah of course.' Chloe closed the door and placed her hands on my hips, she leant in and kissed me.

I pulled away 'what did I do to deserve that?'

She smiled, for just being you, cannot wait to see you in your swimming attire!

I giggled back 'likewise' and gave her a wink.

'right let's go see what the ex hubby wants!'

As we walked in to the kitchen Jesse spun around, 'Hey Ex-wifey' I rolled my eyes at him 'Hey ex hubby' we laughed. 'Becs I just need to ask you something. In private.'

'Erm yeah no problems, join me on the balcony?' as we walked out Chloe and Gran started to sort the children out ready for the water park.

'I just have some paperwork for the house I need you to sign. You may want to tell your redhead though as these go to the owner of the current property and I am assuming her ex husband is going to know you.'

'Oh great. I will tell her later, don't want to spoil today. Could you send them off late tonight? Gives me a chance to tell her?'

'yeah of course'

I signed the contract and handed it back to him. 'Beca, it is erm so nice to see you happy, she is certainly doing something right, that smirk seems permanent. It suits you'

I felt a pang of guilt, I still adored Jesse and I wouldn't have swapped any of my moments in life with him. Guess I felt guilty it didn't work.

'thanks, its super early but she is pretty awesome, so are the children. How are you and the new Mrs Swanson?'

Jesse laughed, 'Not so much Mrs Swanson Becs, and we are really good thank you, I erm have something to tell you though.' He became a little sheepish. 'Jess, looking at the floor like you are 12 and shy doesn't really work on me, what do you have to tell me?'

'erm Rachel and me are erm pregnant'

I don't know why, but I felt cold. I couldn't speak. I stood by the wooden rail and looked out across LA. I had stood on this exact balcony, many years ago and held a pregnancy test, telling him he was going to be a dad. Yet that wasn't to be, however he he was telling me and he should be excited and I should be for him, however it felt strange.

I needed him to know I was happy for him, so I took a deep breath. 'Wow Jess that is awesome news! I bet you are so excited.'

'Thanks Beca, yeah I am but a little nervous too. I still think about..'

I cut him off 'Me too but it wasn't to be and now you get to do this with Rachel and everything will be fine. And you will make a perfect dad.'

'Thanks, I erm best get going, have an enjoyable day at the water park.' We gave one another a hug and he left.

I stayed out on the balcony.

'Rebecca'

It was Gran, 'you ok? Jesse told me his news'

A tear fell down my face, I wiped it away took a deep breath. 'yeah Gran I am fine, everybody ready? Il just throw my sweat pants on. Il be two mins.'

I walked up in to my room.

'Grace is Bec ok?'

'she will be Chloe love, Jesse's girlfriend is pregnant and he has just told Rebeca, obviously because the two of them lost a child he was nervous of upsetting her with his news. She isn't one for showing emotion at the best of times so I would just leave her until she talks to you. I have found that is the best option.'

'oh right, you sure she will still want to come with us today?'

With that Beca came down the stairs. 'right guys who's going in what cars?

'well I figured Me and You could go in your car and Chloe and the children could follow?'

'Awesome, we sorted food out and stuff? Where are the kids?'

'erm Becs, everything is sorted and the kids are in the hire car you got. So wil meet you there.'

'ok cool, right come on Gran lets go'

So, the day at the water park went really well. Beca, Chloe and the children had a ball, I could tell Beca was doing her whole don't ask me if I am ok vibe, Chloe was doing a I wish Beca would talk to me and the Kids were having a ball, Siobhan was still very stand offish with Beca but I could see Beca was trying. Patrick didn't leave Beca's side, that sweet boy seems to adore her. I did stand back at times and watch them all, considering they hadn't known each other long something worked between them. They had settled in roles with each other and with the children. It was like they had always been together. Considering my Rebeca was so awkward around children most of the time, which I still put down to her loss, she had taken to Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh like they were in her life from the start.

The drive home had been pretty quiet, I knew Beca was thinking about Jesse and I knew more than anything she was thinking about who she was going to tell Chloe about the house.

As we entered the house and everybody was messing around and running about I called out 'right everybody, stop where you are on the spot. Right, kids tonight is a kids and Granny Grace night. I am going to make us some popcorn, smores and hot chocolate and Rebeca Is going to show us how to use Netflix so we can watch movies. Rebeca, I thought you could show Chloe that little night café you love so much?'

'Hey Gran, that sounds cool an everything, but you sure?'

'never been surer, now get changed an go'

'erm thanks Grace.'

With that Beca and Chloe headed to their respected rooms to change.

The children were with me in the kitchen getting our snacks together, when I heard the door to the room Chloe was staying in bang shut with force. It made us all jump, I heard footsteps and then heard the door to Beca's room fling open.

'Hey Chloe, jesus open the door…'

She looked pissed off and had something behind her back. She raised her voice at me and started throwing her arms in the air.

'when were you going to tell me? Or were you going to just hope I never found out or hear it from fucking Thomas. Shit. I don't need your hand outs, I mean fuck look at this place! This life you have here, it is nothing like mine. I didn't need your help before and I don't need it now, I mean you know how much I hate liars, so do me a favour, I am not going to ruin this trip for my children they have been through enough, but let me make this clear. Whatever…this was, it is no more, ok n more.'

I never even got the chance to speak as she walked out as quick as she walked in. I didn't even know how to react. I just stood there looking at my passport that she had flung on the bed. 'Fuck'

I headed down the stairs, an out through the front door, jumped in my car shut the door and screamed at the top of my voice.

I heard Beca walk down the stairs and I heard her leave. Fuck. There was a knock on the door. Siobhan came in, I was trying so hard not to cry. 'mum you ok? I heard you shouting'

I pulled her in for a hug, 'yeah baby I am ok, just got a headache'

'Mum I might be 8 but I heard you shout, like at dad, and when you have a headache you go to sleep.'

'Siobhan baby don't grow up too early, go and join Patrick and Niamh and I will be down in 10minutes to join you as Beca had to go to work.' With that kissed her on the top of her head as she walked out.

My phone vibrated with a message,

Beca: Can we talk when the children have gone to bed? Please? Xx

I typed out a quick message while wiping away tears.

I had drove to my studio, swiped in and found myself just sitting at my desk. My phone vibrated.

Chloe: I don't want to hear excuses, I have had a life time of them. I don't want to shed tears anymore over anybody. All that matters to me right now is my children.

I sat and I sobbed and I called Jesse. He didn't answer.

I came out of my room and entered the kitchen. Grace was sat with the children on the sofa. She stood up, 'Chloe, love let me sort you a hot chocolate.'

'Did you know?' Chloe stood at the kitchen side. Her eyes red. 'The truth Chloe love, yes I did and today she was going to tell you, she was so scared. When she heard what Thomas had planned she wanted to help but she knew you would of said no, but she has lived through a divorce she knows how horrible it is and she knows what it is like for your dad to not give a damn'

'what and I don't know what that is like? Grace, I don't have either one of my parents, I moved to a new country, I have just split with my husband the only family I have. Now I no longer have that, an she thinks she can swan in with all her money and her romantic shit and everything will be ok?'

'Let me just stop you there Chloe love. Beca didn't swan in with her money and last time I checked you had both been engulfed with emotions for each other, this was never one sided. I am not doubting for a second you haven't had a rough time of it. However, nothing that my granddaughter has done has been for her own benefit or to make you feel inferior. I have never seen her as happy in her whole life as she is when she is around you. She bought that house so that you wouldn't have to worry, that you could stay in the house you and your children call home and that you could use your money to fund your education and to support you to do whatever you need so that you wouldn't be stressed and you could be you, with or without being around my Rebeca. Today she had to take the news that her ex-husband is having a baby with somebody else when she lost their child, tomorrow is the anniversary of her mother's death and for the first time since that happened she has chosen not to get absolutely wasted on whiskey and sob down the phone to me for hours and hours. Tomorrow she was planning to spend the evening with you and Siobhan because those plans changed tonight. So yes you may be feeling upset and hurt but do you really want to mess this up when all she wants to do is to be there?'

I handed the cup of hot chocolate to Chloe.

'thanks, an erm I am sorry. I didn't mean to…'

'Chloe no need for sorry, just go and find my granddaughter and talk to her, you want her in your life right?'

'Yeah of course I do'

'well after what you said to her upstairs, I doubt she thinks that right now, the address for her studio is this, and there is a security pass in the drawer by the door.'

I picked up the piece of paper Grace had written on and I gave the children kisses.

I opened a bottle of whiskey out of my drawer and I hit the playlist I have on my ipod for my mum. I made it a few years back, they said at counselling it would help. So I had a ton of songs on there that reminded me of her. The first one out of the speakers was 'T-Rex Get It On' boy did I blast that. It reminded me of being in the car with mum when we were going on a road trip to blow the cobwebs away as she would say.

I didn't message Beca to say I was on my way, I had already fucked stuff up without listening to her and so I drove to her studio and had picked up whiskey on the way. I pulled up outside and swiped the pass and the doors opened. It was such an awesome space, there were pictures up of artists I assume Beca had worked with and then there were pictures of Beca and her mum with her Gran, they were in black and white and were so beautiful. There were several office doors and another corridor. There was a studio map on the wall. I walked down the corridor and opened the door to my right. As I opened it I could hear Tiny Dancer being played, it wasn't Elton john and it sounded like it was just a version on the piano, I was beautiful.

I listened to a few tracks and had several more shots of whiskey, I turned the music off and headed over to the piano. I placed my whiskey glass on top of the piano and began to let my fingers hit the ivory keys. I began to play mums favourite song. Tiny Dancer by Elton John. It was the first song I learnt on the piano and I learnt it for my mum. I loved playing this, I always lost myself in it.

As I walked in further to the room I could see Beca sat at the piano, the voice I could hear was her, she sounded so beautiful I didn't want to disturb her. I had no idea she could play piano quite as perfect note for note. It brought me to tears, It was my favourite song I wanted to sing along but I knew she wound hear me.

I finished the song and brought myself back in to the room. I could feel tears pouring down my face. I whispered 'Mum I so wish you were here, everything is always fucked up, Chloe has told me to leave her alone, I mean the one person that has ever made me feel alive, an her kids are awesome, they make me feel like I am complete. I know they aren't mine but I couldn't do that right like most things, I mean I don't blame my child for not wanting to make it here. I am happy that Jesse is going to be a dad but it also makes me sad. An now due to being a total idiot I am back to just having all this stuff but not anything I want. Why do I find it so hard to feel and so hard to get it right.'

I had stood and heard everything Beca had said, my heart broke.

I swallowed hard. I took a mouthful of whiskey, bit my lip, and I started to sing Crazy for you by Madonna.

Suddenly, I could hear this voice, I wiped my eyes quick. That was Chloe. She was singing Crazy for You and slowly started to walk over to me. How did she know where I was and the lyrics in this song made my stomach go wild, my eyes were welling up. As she continued to sing she took my hand and placed it on her chest. She used her other hand to wipe my tears. She got to the end of the song. She was crying too and sniffling. 'Beca I am so sorry, I never meant those things I said, I was angry and upset and i…'

'Chloe its ok its ok I am sorry too, I should of spoke to you about it, I just wanted you and the kids to be ok.'

Before I could say anything else I felt Chloe's lips on mine, it was such a messy kiss what with tears and sniffles but I had never had a kiss mean so much. Chloe broke away 'that song Tiny Dancer its my favourite and you sand it perfect.'

'Really? It was my mums favourite too. Coincidental, maybe she was sending you to me?'


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

After a few glasses of whiskey each me and Beca found ourselves lying on our sides looking at each other on the floor of her studio. It had hit midnight. Beca had gone quiet. 'you ok?'

'Yeah just thinking about how my Gran has done just what my mum would have done and bashed our heads together. It must be hard for her not having her daughter'

Chloe ran her fingers through my hair. 'yeah it must but I imagine having you around helps'

'I am not always around though, am i? I am off in LA living the dream…'

Chloe moved closer to me 'But you are here, now right? An she loves having you around she was so excited when you said you were coming over, she talks about you all the time.'

Beca smiled at me. 'Do you ever wish you spoke with your parents?'

'To be honest, I kind of wished I had kept in contact more or at least tried, However, after the first few times of trying I would get so upset and Thomas in the end stepped in and said enough was enough. I sent them pictures of the children when they were born and I sent them cards at Christmas etc but I never received anything back. I do think about them all the time though. It's sad really.' I felt a tear run down my face. I wiped it away quickly.

'What about your dad you ever hear from him? And tell me what your mum was like.'

'well my dad is just that my dad. I haven't seen him since he left. I mean he has tried several times to get in touch but only since my name appeared in magazines etc. So I never engaged with him. I don't need him and I have never missed him to be honest. As for my mum she was my best friend. We did everything together. There are a few pictures of her in the corridor. I like to have her around, I even have a bottle of her favourite perfume in my drawer for the days I miss her the most, just a smell of that and it is like she is next to me. Gran says I look like her all the time. Mum made me listen to music constantly, I don't think there is much I haven't heard, she had us playing instruments together making up our own melodies, we would go on road trips like Thelma and Louise style! We would make our own movie cinema and watch old black and white classics and musicals. Jesse used to try to get me to watch movies all the time but it wasn't the same. We would pick a book and do book reviews. We would bake and throw parties, She always helped me with my school work and my god did she make me laugh. My favourite thing to do with her was to have her comb through my hair when I had just got out of the bath. We would always do this when we watched a film at night and before I went to bed. I miss that. I miss the trivial things. It's cute really, as I see you doing some of the things with the kids that my mum did with me. Makes my heart swell. Then the Big C came and that was that'

Listening to Beca talk like that about her mum in the way she did I knew was special and It may never happen again. She certainly didn't find talking easy, but I was hopeful that one day that would change. However, for now, I knew that was all I was getting tonight.

'How you feeling about Jesse, Grace said his Girlfriend is pregnant?'

'I was hurt and freaked out this morning when he told me, but I have no right to be, he hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves to be so happy. I mean what if everything went wonderful with me and you, I would have 3 children enriching my life and then if we had our own child then it would be the same for him. I will forever hold mine and his child dear to me and know that our child was created in love and lost in love but neither of us will ever forget. He will make a fantastic dad'

Hearing Beca talk about our future and potentially increasing the number of children between us made me feel warm inside. I mean I know that is something so far away but the fact she was thinking that far forward was special.

'Bec, I think that is such a sweet way to look at it. An I am sure you will be his number one babysitter!' She smiled at me, and took my hand in hers 'Right up, you owe me a dance before we head back. I am pretty sure Gran will be waiting up wanting the gossip'

I walked over to this massive music catalogue….as I flicked through it I felt Beca come behind me, her chin resting on my shoulder. I heard and felt her sigh. 'I know, this one.' She turned me around before I got chance to see it.

The unmistakable vocals of Melanie C started to come through the speakers.

'Somebody said in a book I read

Love turns on like a light in your head

When it does you can't see why

Just hold on tight and go for a ride'

It was such a beautiful song and as Beca held me close and we swayed in time with each other she whispered the lyrics into my ear.

'Life can change in a second or two

That's how I felt when I saw you

All I need is honesty

Tell me Baby….

Do I, do I,

Do I feel like someone you could love?'

I knew Beca wasn't just singing she was asking the question, and I knew the answer.

'Grace can I ask you a question'

'Of course, you can Siobhan, an what are you doing up so late?'

'I couldn't sleep, I am waiting for mum to come back.'

'Come here, let's get some milk and cookies.'

I walked with Siobhan into the kitchen she picked out some cookies and I got her a glass of milk. She walked back into the living area and sat on the sofa. She took a big gulp of milk and put her glass down, before wiping her face with the sleeve of her pj top.

'Grace, when mummy and Beca were arguing today one of them said whatever this is I cant do it anymore…or something like that. What did they mean and why have they felt out?I know I have been mean to Beca but dad said that…'

'Siobhan beautiful girl, do not worry about what your dad has said about my Beca. Trust me when I tell you she is one of the nicest if not thee nicest person in the world. She has loved getting to know you Patrick and Niamh. Please don't dislike her, trust me let her be your friend she will surprise you. I do not know why they were upset with each other but I am sure that they will have sorted it all out by the time you wake up in the morning.'

Siobhan took a bite of her cookie. 'if you have been married to a boy like mummy with daddy, can you then go out with somebody else? That is the same as you?'

Damn you Rebeca and Chloe, you should be here answering this.

'what do you mean by the same as you?'

'well like could mummy go out with Beca, or would they just have to be best friends, coz daddy said that he and mummy don't live together now because of Beca, but I don't understand'

'Well mummy could go out with Beca yes if she wanted too and if Bec wanted that too or they can just be best friends, but if you go out with somebody often they are your best friend. An Your daddy and mummy don't live together anymore because they fell out of love. You don't need to worry about that until you are older. Just know that Mummy is happier, even if you will be staying with daddy at times because she will miss you when you are there. We can get mummy to talk to you about this tomorrow if you like and with Patrick and Niamh?'

'yeah I think that will be good. Can I stay here with you till mummy comes back?'

I looked down at her little tired confused eyes. How could I refuse. 'of course, you can, get the blanket and lets have a cuddle.' I scooped her up into the side of me and we put Matilda on. I txt Beca.

Me and Chloe had called an Uber and were on our way back, when I felt my phone vibrate, I had missed messages off Alex and Jesse and then just off Gran.

Gran: You ok? are coming home tonight? I have a very confused and unsettled Siobhan xx

I opened the message up and my stomach went sick. This poor kid. Everything she had said to me earlier too. I knew I couldn't tell Chlo what she had told me but I didn't want her feeling so confused, she was just a kid.

'Becs everything ok?'

'Yeah its just Gran asking if we are ok.'

'I've been thinking later today as obviously its early hours of the morning, me and the kids will go do some exploring and I think you and your Gran should have some time with each other. Then in the evening we could all do something together?'

'You sure? I think my friend Alex may pop by later tonight Jesse might too, if that's ok?'

'That sounds a lovely way to spend the evening. What if me and the kids pick up some BBQ stuff on our travels?'

''Yeah that sounds great il sort you some money out.'

As the Uber dropped us outside the house I pulled Chloe to one side and kissed her gently, 'Chlo thank you, for listening to me and for giving me a chance. I am sorry I did what I did with the house, I..'

With that Chloe lent forward and kissed me gently she pulled back and looked straight into my eyes. 'thank you for making everything safe for me and my children. I will never forget that. Ever.'

We walked into the house to find Gran on the sofa with the end of matilda on the tv and Siobhan fast asleep snuggled into her.

'about time you two. Everything ok?'

Chloe smiled at gran and then at me. 'perfect. Thank you for having the children grace, Siobhan ok?'

'Lets get her into bed, and then I will fill you in.'

Chloe walked over to her scooping Siobhan up into her arms 'Hey beautiful baby girl mummy is back, come on lets get you to bed.' As Siobhan stirred Chloe peppered her with kisses.

'I will be back out in a second.'

Gran looked over at me, 'Beca, that little girl is so confused. I think you and Chloe need to really sit down and think about what the future may look like for you both. I mean when we get back home and you go back to work and Chloe's separation goes through she will be working and going to uni. I mean have you even decided what you will do when you must come back here to LA to your home? I know I am sounding harsh but I just want you both to understand it isn't just your feelings it is the children's too. They must come first'

I poured myself a glass of whiskey and walked towards the balcony. 'I know Gran, don't you think I have all of those questions going around my head all the time. An I know you want me and Chloe to work, but right now pointing out the obvious every two minutes isn't helping.'

'on that note Rebeca I suggest you get some sleep, being rude doesn't suit you'

I downed my whiskey and slammed the glass on the side 'for fucks sake' I ran my fingers through my hair and grabbed a throw from the living room, I sat outside locking the door on the way out. I needed to be on my own before I upset anyone else.

As I walked in to the living room after placing Siobhan in bed Grace was walking towards me. 'If I were you Chlo love I would turn around and go to bed, Our Beca has locked herself outside. Leave her there or you will get worse than I did.'

Grace walked past me placing her hand on my arm. 'Grace, is she ok?'

'She will be, she thinks I was having a go at her, I wasn't but I want you two to realise that those three in there are confused. I think you and Bec need to think about what happens when you get back, and what will you do when she must come back here to LA, you and the children coming here is not an option, so she has a lot to think about. So, do you. I am a mum too don't forget and I just don't want anyone's heart to ache especially hers, it has been broken enough, so has yours and Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh's.'

I hugged Grace. 'I know, I love you Grace so much I will do my best so her heart doesn't hurt.'

I walked up to the doors for the balcony. 'Hey you having a private party or can anybody join?'

'Clo, you should prob go to bed, I just wanna be on my own, I've just upset my gran today of all fucking days and I don't want to upset you either…again'

'Well you best open the door then, otherwise I will be really upset Mitchell, because shutting me out is helpful right?'

'Clo, seriously go to bed.'

With that I walked over to the other sofa picked up a cushion and the other throw and set it down on the floor I lay down on the floor with my head near the door. I could still see Beca from where I was lying. 'well if that is what you want, I guess I will see how comfy this flooring is'

It remained quiet for a few moments. 'Clo you cant sleep there, please just go upstairs.'

'Bec, I am not going anywhere until you open that door or at least tell me what is going on in your head. I am just going to throw a few things out to you and then if you decide to open the door great if you don't I will get on a plane tomorrow with the children and go home.

Firstly, we just spent half the night talking and we were ok with everything and now its all up the wall, if me and you are being serious then maybe we need to just be fucking serious. Yes, I have just split from my husband and the father of my children, and randomly I have fallen for a woman, not just any woman but you. Am I scared hold shit yes I am, but I wouldn't want to be scared with anybody else. Let's do this properly, in the morning let's get the kids together and lets just tell them the truth. It is completely against everything we have said the past few weeks but I am just fed up of these niggly type arguments.

I want to be your girlfriend, and if that means at times our relationship has to be long distance, then we will make it work. Of that I am sure. So, stop being an idiot open this door and kiss me before I go outside climb the fence and slap you.'

I heard a laugh from the other side.

'Am waiting Rebeca'

'You really want to be my girlfriend and you really want to tell the children, Siobhan hates me and I don't want them..'

'Bec, I am not carrying this conversation on, open the damn door.'

With that Bec stood up and opened the door 'Clo I don't want…'

I was cut off by the most passionate kiss I had ever had.

I pulled away catching my breath. 'Chloe I don't want to tell the children here. Can we tell them when we get back to Ireland. I want them to be in a place they feel safe when we speak to them. I think doing here will not help.'

I leaned forward. 'Bec I think that is a perfect idea and very thoughtful. Come and sit with me on the sofa, we can talk.' We spent the next two hours laughing at the ridiculous plans we had talked about and without much notice Bec had fallen asleep on me. The way she was snuggled into me I knew if I tried to get up she would wake, so I just leant into her and before I knew it I had fallen asleep too.

I was woken up by lots of laughing, it sounded like it was very much little people laughing. I went to move but realised that Chloe was asleep still snuggled in to my side. As I opened one eye I could see Patrick and Siobhan sat on the other sofa opposite giggling away with each other. 'What are you two laughing at?' I whispered. 'Mummy has fallen asleep on you and she is snoring, and you were too, an before she held your hand' at this point the two of them were proper laughing. 'is that so? Maybe she was having good dreams. I didn't do anything silly did i?' they both laughed 'No' Patrick said. 'can we wake mum up we want pancakes!' I moved ever so slowly so I didn't wake Chloe, 'How about we make them for mummy? An should we go and buy her some nice flowers?'

Siobhan looked at me and smiled 'yeah mum would like that, come on Patrick lets get dressed. Can we get Grace some too?'

'I think that would be a lovely idea, well thought of Siobhan.'

I checked on Niamh and she was playing on the balcony with her dolls. 'Hey Niamh you want to come the shops?' she ran at me 'yes yes yes can we get treats?'

I picked her up and gave her a big squeeze. I walked in to the spare room and helped them to all get dressed. We left a note and piled into my car. After about a hour we were on our way back. The girls had picked bunches of flowers and Patrick had decided for breakfast we were having blueberries pancakes with fresh strawberries.

As we were driving back Siobhan turned to me 'Beca, are you my mums best friend?' I wasn't sure how to answer it because I hoped that one day I would be I mean I wanted her to be my girlfriend more than anything yet I wasn't even sure I had secured best friends rights with Clo yet.

' you know Siobhan, I don't think I am your mums best friend, and as much as I would like to be I think that her best friend has to know her the best, so I would say that you would be best for that job. I think you are your mums best friend.'

Siobhan looked at me very serious 'Granny Grace said that often you can go out with your best friend and I cant go out with mummy because she is my mummy. Maybe you could and you could be her special best friend?'

My stomach flipped. Shit. How was I going to answer that.

Patrick shouted from the back of the car 'Beca do you like our mum?'

Oh lord I was being ambushed by some children about their mum and my intentions. I was not prepared for this.

'erm Patrick of course I like your mum, she is my friend.'

'Noooooooooo like do you like her? He started giggling, because when she held your hand before you smiled lots and lots'

Oh my lord I could feel my face going red. 'right enough of this silly talk, you mum is my friend not my best friend just my friend'

We pulled up to the house and the children all go out the car and carried the shopping between them while I picked the flowers up out of my boot.

We walked in and Gran and Chlo were at the kitchen table. Niamh went running over 'Mummy, Beca said she likes you' and she started to giggle, as did Siobhan and Patrick.

I went bright red. Chloe looked over to Niamh 'well it is a good job she is my best friend then isn't it?' Niamh looked at her 'no Siobhan is your best friend, that is what Beca said.'

Oh dear god. Was there anything they were not going to tell Chlo.

'well Siobhan is just as much my best friend as you and Patrick and Beca is a special friend'

Niamh smiled wide 'Yeah because she makes you have the biggest smile'

Chloe and Gran looked over at me. I felt my insides melt. 'Right Gran these flowers are from me, I am so sorry for upsetting you last night, I was rude and out of order I love you so much and I am sorry.'

Siobhan carried some sunflowers over to Chloe 'mummy we got you these because you are our sunshine and me, Patrick and Niamh love you lots. Thank you for being the best mum ever.' With that the children gave Chloe a big hug and Gran pulled me in for a big squeeze 'you are a soppy git, but I love you my beautiful granddaughter.'

'right lets get some music on kids we have pancakes to make….Chop chop Mums and Grans need breakfast'

Patrick shouted out 'so do sons and little boys.'


	22. Chapter 22

After completely stuffing our faces, I began tidying up the kitchen with Gran. Chloe had taken the children out for the day. Alex said he was popping by around 6 and Jesse said he would pop by around then also. I had sent a txt out to kt she was back at her place so thought I would see if she fancied joining us for some food and she had said she wouldn't miss it.

'Gran, you fancy going for a drive around the hills and to grab a coffee watching the world go buy? i know today proper sucks for the pair of us and I hate how much I miss mum, especially now, I don't think I have ever wanted her to hold me as much as I have the past 2years. An I know I always tend to spend today getting drunk but I want to change that and make today more about our awesome memories of mum and how she was perfect and kinda celebrate how lucky we were instead of it being so upsetting. I thought maybe when we get back to yours we could buy a blossom tree for the garden and tie a few of mum's things to it like a tree of memories.'

Gran had tears in her eyes. 'Rebeca, I think that sounds like a beautiful idea. I miss your mum more than you could know, that pain it hurts so bad and I miss hearing her voice and seeing her face, but your eyes and smile are just like copies of hers and I am so very very proud of you and the person you have become. She would be so impressed by you.

We shared such a long hug. I pulled away, right come on lets get sorted and get out in the fresh air. As we sat in the car I hit my playlist that I listened to when I missed mum the most.

Gran smiled across at me, 'so this is what plays in those headphones of yours!' I smiled 'only when I am having a mum and Daughter moment.' At that point we both started to sing along to 'young hearts run free….' The windows were down and the sun was beating down on us. I knew mum would of never have wanted to leave here. 'Gran, what do you think mum would of thought about me and Chloe?' Gran placed her hand on mine on the gear stick. 'Beca all your mum ever wanted from the day you were born was for you to be happy. So are you happy?' I pulled up at the little coffee place on the roadside. 'Yeah I am, I certainly didn't think when I came over to you all of this would unfold. I am glad it has though I have learnt so much about who I am and what I want and where I want to go'

'well my child then that is all that matters, just don't think I will be babysitting all the time I have a life you know! And sort your stubborn side out, Chloe won't tolerate it. Neither will I, tired, stressed or not, it doesn't suit you. Moodiness always has but stubborn that isn't good. Now you getting these coffee's in or you fleecing an old lady of her pension?' I started laughing 'alright calm down, guessing you want the usual'

'Of course, why change the habit of a life time!'

I had decided to take the children out for the day, Los Angeles Zoo was around 20minutes away so we headed there with our picnic.

As we walked around taking photographs and looking at all the animals the children were super excited. They did not shut up with a million and one questions about all manner of things! Niamh shouted out when looking at a selfie we had taken 'Mummy send that to Beca she will laugh' At that point Patrick came running over 'MUM! Guess what you can do?' I wrapped him up in my arms 'what my favourite boy what can you do?'

'We can hold some of the animals over here, even a MASSIVE snake!'

Oh jesus a snake I thought! They better not want me to touch that! –'where is Siobhan?'

'I am here mum, I was behind Niamh she dropped her doll. And Patrick I don't want to hold a snake, no way. Gross'

I laughed as Patrick interacted with Niamh 'Siobhan can I tell you a secret?' 'Sure mum'

'I really don't want to hold a snake either, gross, do you think we should just run passed?'

Siobhan started laughing 'no mum I think Patrick will cry haha'

'Oh no, we cant have him crying can we, think I would rather hold a snake than here him crying, what would you like to do here beautiful? Any animals you want to see?'

As we walked towards the damn snakes Siobhan held my hand. 'id like to see monkeys and could we have a' at that moment Niamh screamed 'Mummy it's a snake I am scared I don't like them mum help' I scooped her up and began to tickle her and she was laughing, 'baby girl mummy doesn't like snakes either but Patrick does so he wants to get his picture with one, so lets be nice for Patrick and then you can go and see something else?'

'Ok mummy, I want to go to the chimp chat' and she giggled.

Right explorer Patrick with your new safari hat it is time for you to meet this snake the zoo keeper called.

Patrick's face was magic as he held the snake, I took photos and videoed it. I sent it on to Beca.

My phone vibrated on the makeshift table as me and gran sat looking out over the hills

Chloe: Look at how cute he is.

I opened the message to see Patrick wearing the cutest safari hat and was holding this huge snake, I mean Patrick would have just been a snack for that animal. I showed Gran and even she was in shock.

I messaged Chlo back. snapping a pic of me and gran our oversized coffee's.

I opened the message from Beca and replied telling her they looked like they were having a wonderful time. And that we would be back at hers about 5pm.

We continued around the zoo, the children had face paints, cost me a fortune in the shop but we had a fantastic time. Niamh became very tired and was asleep in her stroller. Still holding on to a monkey balloon. Siobhan and Patrick were very quiet, so I knew they were tired too.

We got back to the car and settled in. 'Right Siobhan, Patrick. Tonight some of Beca's friends are coming round to her house, as today is a very important day for her and Granny Grace. There will be Alex, Jesse and Katie coming ok. So, I know you are brilliant kids anyway but let's make sure we are extra brilliant for Beca and Grace yeah.

'Beca said we are having a BBQ are we still having that?' Patrick asked.

'yes we have to pick some things up for it on our way home, so if you want anything let me know'

I looked next to me as Siobhan had fallen asleep in the seat, Niamh was fast asleep too.

'Mum can I ask you a question?'

'Of course you can Patrick ask me anything'

'I know Beca is your special best friend but I think you should take her out, she is so cool'

I laughed 'well what if I asked her if she would come out with us all on a date?'

'eeeeewwww no way I don't want to be on a date gross.'

Patrick put his headphones on an I txt bec to say we were on the way to the shops.

Me and Gran has spent a hour or so sharing coffee reminiscing and then we went for a walk in the hills on a mild hike though and headed back home. We showered and began to prep for tonight I hit play on the sound system and had some Rat Pack tracks playing, these always reminded me of Sunday nights with Mum and Gran. I could hear Gran singing as she placed cups and drinks out.

Everything was sorted and me and Gran were on the balcony, the song Volare came on by Dean Martin, 'Oh Rebeca this song reminds me of Sunday dances with your grandfather. When we first met we used to go dancing on a Sunday evening and this was always our favourite.'

I felt a warmth fall over me, 'Gran lets dance.' She stared laughing 'oh I yeah'

I stood up and held my hand out for her to get up. She smiled at me and went 'Oh go on then, one dance wont hurt' I smiled back and took her hands as we danced close together as the voice of Martin took over the air. Seeing Gran smiling so much was brilliant. As the song came to an end, and the moment was forever etched in my mind.

The next minute Patrick came thundering through the house, his face painted as a Tiger.

'Beca I held a snake!'

He threw himself up into me, 'wow dude really? How did it not eat you up?' Siobhan came in with a bag full of stuff as Chlo walked in carrying Niamh 'Becs could you grab the food out of the car while I settle her down.'

Chlo looked tired but oh so beautiful, 'sure I can as I walked past her glancing her hip with my hand.

Patrick was chewing Grans ears off with his stories of the Zoo, Siobhan was reading her zoo book, as I walked past her I placed items from their trip into Chloe's room. I felt hands around my waist. The door closed behind us and I felt Chloe's lips connect with the skin on my neck.

'You smell nice Mitchell' I smirked. 'I'd say the same Clo but I think you need a shower' I felt her smile against me before she gently bit me. 'Ouch, no need'

I turned around so we were facing each other and we shared a slow, intimate kiss'

Chloe pulled away and placed her hands on my hips 'I missed you today, you have a good day with your Gran?'

'I missed you too and yeah it was really good.'

'What time are your friends coming?' I cut Chlo off and kissed her, 'about six so you have time to change'

'Awesome, right I am off for a shower and then I expect a nice glass of wine waiting for me when I come out?' she winked at me. I stood in front of the door and pulled her towards me. I began to kiss her and pulled up her V-neck tee up and over her head, before throwing it on the floor. I ran my hands over her bare skin before continuing to kiss her. I felt her swallow hard. 'Becs you need to stop because I want you so badly and if you carry on I won't be able to resist.' I placed my hands on the waist band of her denim shorts. I unbuttoned them causing them to fall to the floor. Chloe let out a breath I placed my hands up around her back and unclasped her bra as I removed it I gently placed kissed on her chest. I ran my hand to her waistband and whispered in to her ear 'I think you should get in the shower' I smirked at her and bit my lip. 'Oh is that so,' she took my hand and placed it between her legs. 'you see what you have done Mitchell, so you do realise when I am in the shower I will have to relieve some of this tension without you don't you?'

I bit so hard on my lip as she moved a strand of my hair behind my ear. 'seriously Chloe, I want you so badly right now as if I am going to know you are in here doing that' Beca opened the door and walked out.

I let the shower run, and I took a picture sending it to Beca.

I walked out to see Siobhan flat out on the sofa, Patrick was flat out lying on the floor next to his sticker books. Niamh was still asleep also and Gran was on the balcony on her phone. I walked right back into Chloe's room and placed a suitcase against the door.

I stepped into the bathroom. 'Becs what you doing? I pulled my clothes off and walked into her shower I pushed her against the tiles cutting her off with a passionate kiss. 'Chloe if I don't feel you right now I am going to explode now promise me you will be quiet?' she giggled in to my ear before letting out a sharp breath as she felt my hand come into contact with her, I could feel how turned on she was. 'Beca, I need you' within moments it all became very hot, a little rough but my god my mind was blown. After about 15 minutes hearing Chloe whisper in my ear that she was about to come was worth having to be silent, feeling her walls around my fingers and the bite left on my shoulder I knew that she had certainly had a tension release.

I smugly looked into her eyes 'Better?' I bit down on my lip and she pulled me into a kiss. As I pulled away she looked at me 'you Mitchell are something else' I pulled her back in for a kiss before exiting the shower. I threw a towel around me and shot up the stairs to my room.

I stood there with such a smile on my face, that had been very hot indeed. I threw my denim shorts on and a black v neck tee. I braided my hair and headed down stairs.

I could hear chloe telling Siobhan to take a shower and that Patrick was next. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. Chloe walked in with some laundry from the children, she winked at me and I nearly choked on the water in my mouth. 'Jesus Rebeca you ok?' Gran looked at me and began rubbing my back. 'Yeah sorry went down the wrong way.'

Thankfully the doorbell rang. Excellent timing! i Walked over and opened the door, It was Alex 'hey weirdo' he grabbed me and pulled me in for a massive hug. 'god I have missed you midget' 'Alex let go man, I can breathe.' We started laughing and he then made a bee-line for my gran. They were hugging it out on the balcony. I opened the whiskey he had brought along and poured a few glasses. The door went again 'hey chlo could you get that please?'

'Hiya Jesse right?' he smiled and pulled Chloe in for a hug, 'an you must be chloe right? The red head who is causing Becs to have a permanent smile on her face!'

'oh I don't know about that.' Jesse walked towards Beca, Alex and Grace on the balcony. Patrick was shouting upstairs and Siobhan was entertaining a cranky Niamh.

I could hear them all chatting, laughing and catching up and I felt a little left out.

'Chlo, come here, Siobhan, Niamh these are my friends Alex and Jesse.

The girls all said hiya back and Alex tickled Niamh who was belly laughing. Music was playing Twist and Shout non the less and Jesse took over starting the BBQ.

Patrick came wondering in 'Beca!' I scooped him up, 'yes little man?'

'Can I pick a song to dance too?'

'Yeah dude here is my phone go for it.' With that Patrick was going through the music lists. Next minute 'Dark Horse by Katy Perry' was blasting into the kitchen, while Patrick began to randomly dance.

Alex looked at Chloe 'he is full of beans' she smiled 'yeah certainly is, no idea how Bec copes with him, he adores her. It looks like Jesse has a new BFF too I best go rescue him from our Siobhan.'

'erm before you do could I grab a word?'

'erm yeah sure'

'I am not going to do the whole hurt my best friend an il search for you routines as I am aware we are adults and Bec would kick me in the balls, but just know that she is a really sensitive person and not as bad ass as she likes to think she is. She is pretty invested in you guys, an I guess I just want her to be happy'

I knew where Alex was coming from 'Alex I completely get where you are coming from, I would be saying the same thing if it was the other way around. She has come in to my life and thrown it upside down. She has made me realise things about myself, she has made me feel things I didn't know I could and I want to see where this takes us, I cant make you promises just like she cannot make them to me, but what I can give you is honesty and honestly right now she is who I want to spend all of my free time with. I am not going to stand here and tell you I love her, but I will tell you that I am falling the more I am around her.'

Alex looked at me and took a sip of his drink. 'well that's all good with me then.' I winked at Beca as she had looked across, her Jesse and Siobhan were plating up burgers.

She mouthed over to me 'you ok?' I smiled, winked and pulled my sunglasses down as I walked over to her. I leaned in to her ear 'I am perfect, thanks to you'

I sat back watching my children having a ball with Beca, Alex and Jesse. The laughing was so infectious. The door bell rang and Bec disappeared inside to answer it. A few moments later her and Kt came through she had brought a friend along with her too Lizzy.

The food and drink was flowing and the atmosphere was amazing. The children began to get quite tired, I mean they had a busy day and Niamh had fallen asleep on the sofa I currently had Siobhan snuggled into my side and Patrick was asleep on Beca. I just took a minute to take it in. I was surrounded by lovely people in a stunning house in LA my children were all happy and I was falling in love with the person that made this time possible. I looked across at Lizzy. 'Hey could you take a photo of just what you can see, random request I know. I love photos and I would just like to see what this moment looks like from your perspective.'

She smiled at me as she took my phone out of my hand 'sure, I like it'

Lizzy took a phot and handed it back as Beca called me 'Chloe should we get these to bed and then we can let the guys have a music session and you can join in on vocals?'

'erm yes to getting these to bed and yes to these guys making music but a no to me on vocals, I will pierce ear drums.'

'Whatever Chloe'

I moved to stand trying not to wake Siobhan, I managed to scoop her up and she made a few noises. I walked into our bedroom and placed her on my bed, kissed her and told her I loved her before I placed a throw over her. As I turned around Bec was stood at the door holding Patrick. She placed him on the spare air bed and covered him up. She leant down and gave him a kiss. 'I am just going to get Niamh she said'

I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her return. She walked in with Niamh who had her arms around Becs neck. We placed her in to bed an as we closed the door behind them I took Beca's hand in mine. I pulled her in and we kissed. 'You are perfect Beca Mitchell' she smiled up at me. 'come on lets get a drink and make some music.'

We walked out on to the balcony, there was Kt with a guitar, Jesse had my little bongos, gran had tambourine and Alex was pouring drinks while Lizzy was throwing out songs they could cover. Beca picked up her guitar and sat down taking in some whiskey before shouting out 'ok kids what we playing?'

Kt started playing chords I recognised and I joined with her, 'great choice, guys Tangled up in Blue by Dylan it is lets go'

For the next 2hours, plenty of whiskey was drank, so many songs played ad so much laughing. I had the fire pit lit on the balcony and the drunk conversation was all manner of weird.

'Alex, shut up right now, we won't be friends anymore' Alex started laughing. 'what Bec you mean you don't want anybody to know that you once did a super sexy photo shoot for GQ magazine?' he couldn't stop laughing. Kt, Lizzy and Chlo all looked at me 'Erm Rebeca care to explain why I never knew about this despite being married to you for 10 years' Jesse quipped. I looked over at Alex 'You are an idiot'

'Jesse it was before any of this music stuff went off, I was approached and needed the cash so I took part in it. I wasn't front page or anything. It was when I dyed my hair blonde.'

Chloe looked at me 'you dyed your hair blonde?'

Gran looked at me and rolled her eyes 'I am presuming this was not long after you moved over here? You should of said you needed money. If I google images of you is there anything I need to know before I see these images?'

Kt picked up the whiskey bottle and began to pour fresh drinks.

'omg Gran I have clothes on!' Alex started laughing 'not many though'

'Jesus Alex you are such an asshole' I punched him in the arm and he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me on to his lap and began to tickle me.

'you are such a looser Mitchell'

A few moments later Gran pulled pictures up on her phone. 'Omg Gran seriously'

Alex started laughing 'You wanna see the video Chloe' and he winked. Jesse looked right at me 'A fucking video Beca?'

Gran looked up 'Oi no need for that Jesse'

'oh but it was ok for my wife of 10 years to have a GQ Shoot with a video n have all sorts of guys oogling her and I knew nothing about it? What the fuck, Hey Chloe you should check it out though yeah I mean its titled how to date me.'

Kt stood there and Chloe had no idea where to look. 'Look guys I think we need to chill out have a bit of respect for each other yeah, we've had a top night and let's not forget why we are here right? Its not because Becs did a photoshoot, its not about your ex wife Jesse, or embarrassing your mate Alex its about celebrating how awesome Beca's mum was right?' Lizzy sat down after her outburst and downed her whiskey.

Jesse mumbled under his breath 'yeah am sure he would have been proud of that'

I had been sat there watching all of this banter unfold in to what was now something very not nice an I'd had enough. At that moment Beca stood up walked over to Jesse slapping him across the face 'fuck off, and get out my house'

He grabbed her arm but before he could make full contact Grace stepped in 'let her go. Alex go after her and sort this our now. You caused it so you need to fix it, Chloe, Kt and Lizzy would you guys help me tidy all this up please.

Grace tugged on my sleeve 'she will be ok, don't worry'

I smiled at her and we began to clean up.

I was half way down the street when Alex caught up with me. 'Hey, wait up I am sorry I had no idea Jesse would go off like that, jesus what's his problem?'

I ignored him at first 'Beca come on, you know full well I was having a laugh, I've missed you, I have missed our drunken nights and our stupid boy talk. I am sorry that it went off you know I would do it on purpose'

I stopped and turned to him 'I know you would not hurt me on purpose, you are such a dick' I smirked and her bear hugged me.

'what is Jesse's problem though? Seriously'

'Dude you know how obsessive he could be at times or insecure'

I felt my phone vibrate it was a message from Chloe

'Hey just wanted you to know your shoot was hot, so when do I get to see you covered in baby oil sitting at the breakfast bar like that? Guess if I took you on a date I would need to at least offer to pay right?' she signed off with a winking emoji.

I smiled probably more than I should.

'is that from Chloe?' I nodded. 'she seems great for you Beca, the way she looks at you, the subtle touches she gives you too. Her children seem awesome. Let yourself fall my beautiful friend, an just for the record, your mum would be more proud of you than you could ever imagine'

My phone vibrated again Jesse.

I am sorry. I had no right to go off on you. Guess I just wasn't aware you had done anything like that. Please forgive me. Coffee tomorrow?

I just messaged him back, 'see you tomorrow'

With that me and Alex started walking back the house. 'so sex with chloe any good then?' he winked at me 'Mind your own' he started laughing, 'I am going to take that underlying smirk you are giving off as a sign that its pretty awesome'

I punched him in the arm.

We got back the house and Alex said goodbye to my gran and chloe. Kt and Lizzy had already left. Gran said good night and me and Chloe sat on the sofa.

'So you spoke with Jesse after his little blow out?'

'He txt me apologising so said id meet him for coffee tomorrow, I am sorry the night ended how it did.'

'what knowing how hot my girlfriend is and that there even video evidence so when she isn't around I still get to see her looking all hot, no need to apologise.' Chloe winked at me. 'it is so shameful I wish I did feel that confident about my body'

'beca are you for real your body is so beautiful, honest it is so hard not being able to touch you all the time, if I didn't have children then we would probably never leave the house.'

'yeah it is the same with you Chloe, all the issues you have an actually you just need to let me love you and understand that there isn't a part of you I don't love.'

SHIT I have just said I love you, balls.

'bec, you erm Love me?'

Well there was no point in hiding it, I was I had fallen stupid amounts.

'yes Chloe I love you, I am madly in love with you and…'

With that Chloe leaned forward and kissed me.


	23. Chapter 23

I woke up on the sofa, I was so thirsty and I was sweating, I had my clothes on from the night before and a throw from my room over me. The light was bright and my eyes were hardly open when I heard my Gran.

'Wow you are awake early miss I couldn't be bothered to walk a set of stairs to get to my room.'

'What time is it?'

'It is 8.30am so still night time for you sweetheart' with that Gran laughed.

I pulled the throw over my head and then I remembered last night. Shit. Double shit. I left out a very long breath as I heard the kettle boil.

'Right so how did you end up on here, and have you spoken with Jesse?'

I spoke with the throw still over me, so my reply was muffled 'Never mind Jesse, I told Chloe I was in love with her.' I heard Gran place her cup down on the table. 'And?'

'And? And what? I mean fuck, damn the whiskey. In fact damn fucking Jesse, in fact scrap that wait till I get hold of fucking Alex'

'well that is about $4.00 in the swear bank. An what made you tell Chloe you are in love with her?'

'Well with everything that went on last night, I mean before Jesse went on one. When we were all playing music, and I looked over at her the sun was hitting her face slightly shining through her red hair and she had this glow about her and she was smiling and I felt this warmth flow through my veins, I have never felt anything like that and I smiled at her and that was it, that moment I knew I was in love. Cheesy right?'

It was all very quiet.

'Gran' I pulled the throw off me to see Gran stood next to Chloe who was wearing a night shirt holding a cup of coffee, her hair all messy and down on her shoulders, she looked so beautiful. I went bright red. Gran placed her arm around Chloe before giving her a squeeze and a kiss on the top of her head. 'I will be on the patio if you need me girls.' With that she walked away. I looked up at Chloe. 'well that wasn't embarrassing, right?'

'Rebeca, that was very cute. I have never heard anybody talk about me like that before, so thank you.'

'woah what with the Rebeca business? Ah well at least I can't embarrass myself any more than I just did. Where are the children?'

Chloe sat next to me on the sofa shifting my legs so she could sit down before laying them back over her lap. 'Well Patrick is still fast asleep, nothing new, Siobhan and Sophie are on skype to Thomas. Which reminds me I need to organise a catch up with him when we get back so we know who has the children when and I need to tell him about us. However I want to speak with the children first.'

I sat up a little resting back on my elbows. 'tell him about us?'

'Yeah Beca, tell him about us, me and you, you and me, you being my girlfriend and all.' She was laughing.

I smiled over at her. 'really, we are like really going to do this? Like for serious?'

Chloe started laughing 'yes Bec like for serious, I mean you are in love with me right? Because if that was all a load of crap then I am screwed because I fell for you a while back an erm I would like to hang out with you for the rest of my life….'

I held her hand in mine. 'I would like.' At that moment Siobhan came out of the spare room crying, Chloe dropped my hand quickly and moved my legs so she could stand up and take the iPad off Siobhan. I could hear Thomas voice, 'Thomas hold on a moment I can't hear you'

With that she walked off in to the spare room Siobhan following.

I stood up, picked my coffee up and walked out to Gran.

'so, Chloe wants to tell the children about us but I worry about Siobhan, an how she will react. What do you think we should do, I mean she is even crying now over something with Thomas?'

'Beca love Siobhan is very fragile but maybe her knowing the truth and knowing you and her mum are going to be a couple may help her. If not then I am sure you and Chloe will support her.'

I leant my head on my grans shoulder. 'No Idea what I will say to Jesse this afternoon, that guy was so out of order last night. Don't know what go into him. Saying that he and Alex never really got on did they.'

'well no they didn't and I think Jesse was very jealous of your friendship with Alex, and in honesty I think you need to see Alex too, I think he is missing you more than he is letting on. I know your life if about to take a massive turn however don't forget about him Alex loves you and needs you, as much as you need him.'

'has he said something to you?'

'no he hasn't however I have eyes and ears love, I am going to his place today, he invited me over.'

'charming Gran' I laughed 'well I may pop over to his tonight, organise some time with him.'

I heard Chloe raise her voice, 'I swear if Thomas has upset her.' Siobhan came storming out of the bedroom door 'mum I HATE him, I don't want to see him anymore, please do not make me.'

Sophie trundled out and headed towards gran who had bypassed me, in doing so she told me to go and check on Siobhan who had ran up the stairs towards my room. Which was stressing me out because my room is my room.

Patrick came into the kitchen looking for Siobhan. 'Beca have you seen my sister, Mum told me to come and find her.'

He looked really sad. 'Hey Patrick you ok buddy?'

'yeah I just need to find Siobhan'

I popped my head into the spare room, Chloe was sat on the bed tears falling from her face.

'Chlo, what is up?'

She just looked down at the ipad. 'well it turns out that Thomas has news that will piss all over ours. The dickhead has just told our Siobhan that she is going to be a big sister again because Rachel is having a baby.'

I looked at Chloe with complete confusion.

'Who the fuck is Rachel?'

'Rachel works with Thomas and has done for the past 18months. Turns out they were more than work colleagues for quite some time and so he obviously has been having a wonderful time shagging the world and his dog, and turns out he knew she was pregnant with his child, so all the crap apologises he gave me were utter bollocks because he was always going to leave me and the children. Siobhan is devastated. She isn't stupid.'

My heart broke hearing Chloe tell me this. 'Shit, Let me go check on Siobhan she is in my room with Patrick. Do you need me to get you anything?'

'a pen from men in black to wipe my memories of a wasted lifetime with him.'

As Beca left the room I sat there in silence looking at my children's belongings around the room. How could he do that, fine do that to me, but not our children. What on earth was I going to do to make this better, not like I could even talk to the children about me and Beca now. I picked myself up off the bed. My girls and my little man needed me. An sitting in here feeling sorry for myself was not right.

I walked out to see Patrick coming down the stairs. 'Mum, can I have a hug please. Is dad like really going to be a dad to another baby?'

I picked him up and he placed his arms around my neck and his legs around my waist. I smothered him in kisses and held him tight as I ran my hand through his hair.

'You know Patrick, mummy is going to be really honest with you, because I always want you to tell the truth and be a good boy. Your dad is going to be a dad to another baby, so that means you will have another sister or even a brother so that is exciting, right?'

Patrick sat snuggled into me on the sofa. 'not really mummy, because that baby won't have you as its mummy so we won't be the same. Will dad still see us?'

My heart broke a little hearing him 'of course dad will still see you he loves you, you are his little boy. He will always want to see you.' At that point Grace came in holding Sophie

'mum mum mum mum,' I pulled Sophie into me. She was running her hands through my hair.

Patrick sat up, 'Granny Grace do you think Beca would take me for ice cream? Ice cream and Beca make me smile'

I ruffled Patricks hair 'you know what little man, you are the best and mummy is very lucky to have you as my boy'

I entered my room to see Siobhan sitting on the floor looking out of my bedroom window.

'Hey Siobhan, can I come in?' I stood just by the door, I didn't want to push her I mean I wasn't her mum and by all accounts the little girl didn't like me much.

I could hear her crying, and god I knew what it was like to be her age and crying. Think Beca when this was you what did you want the adults to do. Just do what you would of wanted somebody to do to you.

Siobhan never answered. I walked towards her and sat next to her placing my arms around her she sobbed her heart out. After the initial moment crying Siobhan reacted by physically pushing me away 'get off me, get off me Beca I do not want anyone around me especially you, if it wasn't for you none of this would be happening. An with that she began trying to punch and kick me. Holy shit. She was a mini me at her age. As she kicked out I took hold of her from behind and placed my arms around hers and crossed them at the front taking hold of her, she was kicking out still but not really getting anywhere. After a few minutes of this Siobhan began to calm a little. 'get off' I swallowed hard.

'Siobhan mate I am not letting go of you, not one bit. I know you are hurting, and I don't care what you shout at me, I don't care how nasty you are being and I do not care about you lashing out at me. I am here for you to talk to me, and tell me what is going on, I am on your side, not your mums, not your dads not your grandparents not anybody but yours ok? and you may want to blame me for all of this but I want you to know that none of this is my fault or your fault or even mummy's fault even daddy's for that matter. Sometimes life and love especially love is utter shit.'

She became very still for a moment and wasn't trying to escape my grasp. Then she started to talk ' you talk about being on my side right but why? I have done nothing but not be very nice to you, I hate the way you and my mum are always together, dad asked me if you were mums girlfriend, I didn't know but are you? And if you are what does that mean? When we get home are you going to be living with us, because you are not my mum so I won't do anything you ask. An I definitely am not going to see dad.'

Wow this little girl was hurting.

'I am on your side because I know how you feel, my dad wasn't around when I was a kid like you, my mum was my best friend. An I am not your mum's girlfriend. If I was then that is something that your mum would talk to you about, you know your mum would as she would never want to hurt or upset you, would she? an If you don't want to see your dad then I am sure your mum can sort that out.

If I could make all of this better right now what would you like me to do?'

Siobhan went quiet.

'I would like it if me and mum, Patrick and Sophie were at home in our house'

It was at that point I heard somebody behind me.

Chloe was stood there. 'hey can I come in?' Siobhan turned around.

'Hey Chlo, Siobhan was just telling me that she would like to go home with you, Patrick and Sophie. So I am going to go and look at some flights for tomorrow and see if I can get you home Siobhan ok.'

Chloe walked over to Siobhan. 'hey baby are you sure that is what you want, do you think Patrick will be ok going home and Sophie?'

'I don't know mum but I really want to be at home, I want my bedroom'

Chloe held her in such a tight hug and she wiped Siobhan's tear stained face before kissing her gently. 'ok well I will go and help Beca sort flights out ok?'

Siobhan nodded and as much as I wanted my little girl to be happy I was not looking forward to going home without Beca.

As I walked into the kitchen Beca looked at me and pulled up her laptop. 'chlo we have to do this for her. I have to do this for her.'

Chloe walked back towards the spare room. She picked up car keys on her way. A few moments later she popped her head around the corner, 'Beca I am taking Siobhan out for a hot chocolate and breakfast' I looked up and smiled at her.

Gran walked in, 'Bec Patrick wants to know if you would take him out? I will stay here with Sophie, I may even take her on a little walk around the neighbourhood. You are doing the right thing by the way.'

I took a deep breath; then why does it feel so shit'

'Gran if I sort these flights out for tomorrow could you watch the children when they have gone to bed so that I can have a few hours with Chloe please?

'of course, don't forget you are meeting Jesse today and should I ask Alex to come here instead of me going to him?'

'I won't, and yeah that sounds like a plan and Thank You'

With that I picked up my car keys and shouted Patrick.

Siobhan sat in the passenger seat. 'can I have your phone mum to pick some music?'

'sure sweetheart' I had no idea what to say to her. I kept thinking about Beca too and how we were going to tell the children now. I just don't think Siobhan can take anymore however I didn't want Beca to have to be a secret. The next minute KT Tunstall was playing through the car speakers. I glanced across at Siobhan.

'I didn't know you liked this song baby' Siobhan looked across. 'yeah it reminds me of being at home. I heard you playing it a few weeks ago and you were cleaning but you were smiling lots and I watched you from the door.'

My heart swelled I had no idea she would think about that or to watch me, she was a little girl yet she seemed so old in her mind.

'Siobhan when we get home I am going to make you a doctors appointment ok, I think you might need to talk about somethings that are bothering you but you might not want to tell me what do you think?'

'I don't know mum' she looked so small, fragile and scared. 'what if I came with you to the first one or two?'

'What would I talk about?'

'you can talk about anything, whatever you want to. Dad, me, Beca your brother and sister, friends whatever you like'

'Erm yeah that might be good, mum, will dad still want to see us when he has his new baby? He doesn't like me much so if the baby is a girl will he still want to see me or just Patrick and Sophie?'

'Siobhan, your dad loves you of course he will still want to see you. Do not ever think he doesn't love you ok.'

'can we go get pancakes?' she sat looking out of the window as the song finished.

'yeah of course, I will just ring Beca and ask her where the best place is, is that ok?

'yeah'

I pulled the car over and txt Beca I didn't want to ring because if I'd heard her voice I would have cried.

Me and Patrick had jumped in the car and were now on our way to Blue Jam the best place for breakfast! Patrick had been quiet, I could see he was processing things in his head.

We didn't even have any music on in the car it was quiet.

'You ok buddy'

'yeah, just sad for Siobhan. I am sad we are going home. Are you coming too?'

'Not tomorrow mate no, me and Granny Grace will be home a few days after.'

'Oh'

He was looking out of the window, when my phone went off.

Chloe: Hey Babe. Siobhan wants some pancakes where is the best place? Xxx

I pulled the car over and replied.

'Patrick I have just told your mum where we are going I think her and Siobhan will be having breakfast with us too is that ok?'

He looked over at me and smiled 'yeah that's ace'

A few moments later I pulled up and me and Patrick were sat in a booth looking out of the window. I had ordered a coffee and Patrick had ordered a hot chocolate, and pancakes.

Just as our drinks and food arrived Chloe and Siobhan walked in.

Chloe looked so tired and worried, she gave me a smile and I wanted to just scoop her up and protect her.

We had been there for around a hour and we had managed to have a few laughs and Patrick and Siobhan had been laughing with us and they had asked could they go bowling. I had messaged Gran to see if that night she could watch the children while I took chloe out. She had agreed and said that her and Alex would plan something for them. I was really nice that Alex was going to get involved, I had told him what was going on through a txt and explained that when I had taken Chloe the airport that me and him could spend a few days together.

Alex had kindly allowed me to use his house that evening to cook for Chloe and to spend some time together.

Beca had informed me that she had booked flights for the following day. We were taking off at 5.30pm so had a little time in the morning. I was so upset about going back, and with everything that was going on. I knew I wanted the world to know me and Beca were together but how was I going to tell the children it was too much, but I felt for Beca, it wasn't fair to her to keep it a secret. My head and heart were so conflicted. An even though we have been around each other I missed her touch, I wish we were back in Liverpool in our own zone, just being us.

We had spent most of the afternoon finding things for the children to do and on returning back home, Grace and Alex swiftly bundled me and Beca out of the house.

We arrived at Alex's place and as we walked in my heart melted. Alex had left flowers and rose petals all over the place, there was a little food hamper, some unlit candles and a card.

Chloe looked over at me, 'Bec, did you organise this?' I smiled at her, 'nope Alex is like this plus he probably felt like an idiot from last night'

I opened the card and it had written on it,

'Bec and Chloe,

Enjoy sometime together, help yourself to anything you like, There is plenty of food and some bottles of prosecco in the fridge. Me and Grace have the children sorted so we do not want to see you until tomorrow. There is spare clothes for you both in my spare room, me and Grace sorted it all this afternoon. So hit play on the sound system (KT and Jesse may have helped me with this) and relax

See you tomorrow!

Alex.

I felt choles arms snake around my waist and she rested her chin on my shoulder. ' I love you Rebeca Mitchell.' I felt myself sink into her touch and as she told me she loved me I felt a rush of warmth through my veins. I turned around and we kissed. It was such a intimate kiss, I felt like I had needed that touch that closeness since we had arrived in LA it had been so hard to get time together and I had missed it.

As Beca pulled away I moved my hands so I was cupping either side of her cheeks. 'Thank You, I know today has not been easy, and I want you to know that I could not have managed without you, I know it must be hard on you too'

'I am fine, I just hate that I cannot make it better, seeing you hurting is just horrible'

'You do make it better by just being there and just by being you, does Alex have a bath or just a shower I feel like I just need to wash the day away.'

'He has both. I will start cooking while you are doing that.'

I walked off to the bedroom and as I stood there getting undressed I was thinking about Beca and how I really needed her to know how important she was to me and how despite everything going I didn't want us to lose anything between us. I know how hard it is children take over everything and at times, you forget who you are and everything is about them and I didn't want Beca to always be thinking she was taking a backseat. I ran the bath and threw my hair up in a bun. I wrapped myself in a dressing gown and headed to the kitchen.

Beca had the playlist on, her eyes were closed and she had a drink in her hand as she swayed to the music. She looked perfect. Her hands were moving to the beats to different elements to the song.

The song playing was 'Miniature disasters by KT'

I turned the music down and Bec looked up 'That was quick'

I bit down on my lip. 'Bec, will you come with me?'

She looked really confused.

I walked over to her and placed her drink on the side. I placed her hand in mine and I walked towards the bathroom. I took off my robe and I leaned in to Beca.

'I wondered if you would take a bath with me? And I don't mean in a take a bath with me and we have sex, not that there is any issue with that, however with everything going on I just want to feel close to you, feel our touch on one another, get to see everything that is Beca Mitchell. We hardly get anytime together and I guess I want to feel close to you and feel you responding to my touch without it being sexual. If that makes sense?'

I moved closer to my utterly beautiful girlfriend and I knew exactly what she meant. 'How about we take this bath together and then we can maybe enjoy some massages together'

At that point Bec began to remove her clothes as she did so my hands traced her outlines and I could feel the goose bumps I was creating as my touch ghost over her skin, she really had no idea how beautiful she was. I was excited that this evening was going to be one where conversation and sex were not on the agenda but getting to really know each other was. Intimacy to me is much more than sex, it is about being bare, being vulnerable, trusting and being more connected and right now me and Beca needed this more than we knew.


	24. Chapter 25

Hiya everyone...i have deleted chapter 24. to anyone who has read it i apologise it appears that for some reason on the fanfic app the wrong edit is on there in comparison to the site. I will re-post the correct one


	25. Chapter 26

I swallowed hard as Chloe ran her hands over my body, this was so different to any other time we had been physical with one another. This was more open than I had been with anybody ever and I was nervous as shit.

'Chloe, I,'

Chloe's beautiful blue eyes met mine. I took a breath. She whispered 'scared?' I bit down on my lip. 'I am too, but I want you to know that these moments will always be my favourite, the Rebeca that only I get to see. The Rebeca that has showed me how to love, how to remember who I am, showed me affection and pride and who is wanting to be by my side.'

I stepped into the bath and sat with my back up against the tiles, Bec stepped in and placed her self between my legs so her back was up against my chest. I placed my arms around her and I felt her let out a small chuckle.

'Chlo, have you heard what has come on music player?

I lay there still, I could hear KT's vocals, and I started to smile too. 'coz I have faith…'

I laughed as Chlo begin singing along in to my ear.'

'So Miss Mitchell, I have been thinking…..and I think that we tell the children about us. I think the more we put it off the more complicated it will be, I want them to know I am happy and that is because of them and you, I don't want you to be some secret. I know Siobhan is going through a lot and I will get her some support when I get home, however I think that when you come back to Ireland we have a night and that we tell her together just me, you and her.'

'Chlo I don't know, I don't want them to be upset any more than they are.'

'Bec I don't either, but I am just feeling so overwhelmed by all of this and the lies and I don't know what is best and what isn't but what I know is that I don't want you to think that you are this person in the background when you are not.'

I was tracing patterns on Chloe's now wrinkled hands. 'Ok, firstly I don't feel I am in the background and second I do not feel like some big secret. I cannot wait for the day when we get to go to bed in the same house and the children will know when they wake up we will both be there. However, for the next 4 weeks how about we just see each other when they are at their dads? That way they are getting all your attention and we can message, skype, call etc every night when they are in bed and on the weeks, they are with Thomas we can either stay at mine or yours and enjoy dating each other and maybe once a month we do something together with the children?'

My heart utterly melted listening to Bec, she was just so able to make things seem so easy an so right.

'How did I get so lucky?'

'well I could ask you the same question? We laughed. 'Anyhow I am getting out of here before I shrink anymore in size, you take your time and relax I will bring you some wine'

With that I popped out of the bath wrapped myself in a towel, I leant down and kiss clo before leaving the bathroom.

I walked in to the bedroom and put on my sweat pants and tee and made my way to the kitchen, I pour a glass of wine took a sip and then took one into Chloe.

The night I had with Beca was lovely. After I got out of the bath she gave me a shoulder and back massage and we talked a little about when I began to realise I had an issue with eating and as much as I didn't want her to see my scars from self injury I knew she already had when we had slept together, however I told her about specific ones, she kissed each one we talked about ' Babe, I know that there will be times when we are together that you will still do this, I hope it is only rare but I understand it, but I want you to tell me when you have done it don't keep it a secret you don't have to ok, just let me know so I can seal it with a kiss before it heals right?' I let her hold me for a little while. Then we ate food she had cooked while watching some trashy tv show. We had several glasses of wine, we shared several heated make out sessions and she talked a bit about when she was growing up and a bit about her relationship with Jesse, and I did the same sharing a few embarrassing stories along the way.

'Bec what films does Alex have? Let's watch one.'

'a film really? It is our last night together for a little while and you wanna watch a movie?'

She started laughing 'Actually thinking about it I haven't finished our L-word seasons so put that on!'

'Chlo, really?'

'Really Becs, I am only up to season 4, episode 7 was the last I saw'

'ok I will cut you a deal, one episode of L-word, and then we do something else. And make desert'

I leapt over onto Becs 'why thanks!'

With that we settled down, cuddled into each other on the sofa.'

Shit this episode was a little hot, Paige and Shane certainly became a little more than friends. 'well of all the episodes chlo you picked that one? My god.'

'Why Becs what was wrong with it?' chloe gave me a wink/

'nothing was wrong with it. You know'

'What did it get you a bit hot under the collar? Don't tell me you have never got hot and steamy in a car? I don't believe that one bit'

'I am not saying that of course I have in a car, hasn't everybody?'

'We haven't' I looked at Chlo who bit her lip. I rolled my eyes. 'And we won't tonight either' she laughed. 'another time another place'

I laughed 'yeah my place in our bed.' Chloe was laughing 'Spoil sport'

'oh shut up and get in that kitchen you have smores to make!'

The rest of the evening we spent talking, laughing and taking stupid photos.

I remember Chloe falling asleep on me and me putting a throw over us, I desperately didn't want her to leave.

I woke up in the morning tangled up in bec and just lay there watching her for a little while.

'Oi creep'

I laughed 'it isn't my fault you look so cute when you are waking up.'

'Are you for real, I feel like death and need a very strong coffee so move it sweet cheeks'

We spent a hour having some breakfast and jumping in the shower and then we hopped in the car ad were heading back to Beca's.

'Bec are we going the right way? Aren't we supposed to turn left there?'

'erm normally yes, this morning I thought we could go this way.

It was so off track and before I knew it the car had come to a stop near some hills.

'Beca what?' she looked at me. 'seriously? Its broad daylight?' I was laughing so hard,

In between my laughing a crying out as Beca straddled me and was peppering me with kisses, I couldn't breathe I was laughing that much.

'my god this is not playing out the way I thought it would Becs' she pulled away moved my hair behind my ears and looked straight into my eyes holding my gaze. She looked down at my lips and back up again, she repeated this and then took my face in her hands, she kissed me passionately and pulled away it left me without a breath 'Beca,' within seconds things all became very heated and passionate, 'Beca I need you, to' before I got chance the seat I was in went backwards a whole lot quicker than I expected. 'What the fuck!'

'shit chlo, I am sorry are you ok baby?' beca was doing her best to ensure I wasn't hurt 'you sure you are not' I connected my lips to hers.

Jesus that wasn't so smooth Mitchell. I ran my hands down the side of chloe's tee and as much as I wanted to see her without clothes this wasn't the time or the place, I ran my hands up the inside of her tee and allowed my nails to leave a tiny scratch as I come towards her stomach. Chlo was arching back as I did this and alternated kisses between her lips and neck. She was only wearing sweat pants too black ones so this made what I was about to do a whole load easier.

I put my hand in Beca's and placed it on the inside of my sweat pants, and I looked up at her, 'I need to feel you. now' within moments I could feel how turned on chlo was, and I knew this was not going to take long. I ran my fingers across Chloe's core and placed pressure, she was making some some very hot sounds, after several moments of tease I placed two fingers inside her and began to move with the pace she had set, 'shit Beca, harder.' I became a little more forceful and could start to see and feel that she was close. I moved my fingers in and out of her much faster and harder 'fuck beca I did not imagine this, this morning, omg, seriously I need you to fuck me.' As I continued I moved so that I was on top of chloe and that my hips were moving in a rhythm to put pressure on my hand that in turn created a pressure on chloe, within moments of this. 'fuck beca my god do not stop, wow, oh god that was hot, wow.' She leant forward and we were kissing heavily. I removed my fingers from inside chloe and ran them across her clit 'oi wow stop it, its sensitive' I laughed and gave her a glancing kiss before she picked my hands up and licked it. 'hey whats that about' she winked at me 'no reason I just wondered that's all' I looked at her wondered what?

Before I got chance to open my mouth she cut me off with a kiss, and as I was still straddling her it didn't take long before she had her hand within my denim shorts and within moments I found my self riding out to her hand movements feeling her inside me always blew my mind but this was fast, hot, rough, passionate and everything last night was not. 'chloe I am going to come baby, as everything chloe rippled through me I had my arms around her neck and her fingers were still inside me while I rode this out. I kissed her softly and a few moments later she pulled out of me and even that brought a shiver of pleasure through me.

'Jesus, i hate to admit babe but chlo that was…' we both started laughing well 'come on Mitchell we need to get back they will wonder where we are.' I pulled the visor down and fixed myself up didn't want to just have that just fucked look. I was laughing that beca was doing the exact same.

'seriously though I have never had such awesome sex, you actually just know everything I want and how to give it to me Bec, even in moments like this now.'

I smiled and wound the window down and hit play on my mp3 'this is for you'….it was I feel it coming by the weeknd. She gave off the sultriest giggle and lightly punched me on the leg. 'good job I love you' I looked over and winked. She took hold of my hand and held it as we sang at the top of our voices, hair down, sunglasses on and ridiculous smiles on our faces.

As we entered the house Grand and Alex were there Jesse too, the children had all their stuff packed up and I could hear so much laughing.

'Mummy Alex is so cool, can he come and visit us at home' I looked at Alex

'Well me and Siobhan have found that we both love writing stories about silly things and we have then created little shows and Patrick and Sophie have been out actors haven't they'

'yep it has been so funny, Alex said that I can send him some of my stories from home to him, if it is ok with you?'

'Of course that is ok with me!, are you ok?'

Beca had gone through to the kitchen to find Grace.

'Hey Gran you ok?' I poured a drink and washed my hands before grabbing some pizza from last night.

Hello my beautiful granddaughter, you are looking very happy with yourself. An I am great, me and Alex had a wonderful time with the kids, Jesse has just rocked up said he wants to shout you lunch later so was dropping by to check it was ok. Alex said he is going to stay here until we go back too. He is carrying a few things that you need to help him out with. Boy stuff.'

'Ok thanks Gran, I mean for everything recently. I love you and I don't know what I would do with out you' I gave Gran a massive hug and kissed her.

'Sorry to break this up, Bec you free later for food?'

'yeah jesse of course, cheers for the playlist last night too'

'No worries, I owed you one. Right I am off to buy paint, babies room isn't going to paint itself. Catch you later weirdo'

I heard Jesse say goodbyes to chloe and the children and I could hear Siobhan chatting away to her mum about her stories, Sophie was outside on the patio playing with giant lego blocks and Patrick was on his ipad.

'Beca come here lets get a photo of me you and sophie before we go, come on soph'

I smiled as Grand took photos of us being silly.

I waked into the back kitchen to see Beca, Patrick and Sophie all making silly faces and laughing taking photos. 'Hey Siobhan Baby come here for a minute,'

I took her hand and led her to the patio, 'can we join in?' Beca looked up 'sure cause you can'

'Siobhan baby you sit between me and Beca, Patrick you sit on Beca's knee and Soph you come here and sit on my lap. We ready one big silly face photo coming up…' with that everybody made a silly face and were all laughing.

'right you lot, have you packed everything up?, mummy is just going to check we have everything and that she has got all her own things and then we will be off to the airport'

'Chloe I sorted a driver out to take you the airport,' she looked at me with such a sad face

'What you are not coming with us?'

'of course I am coming with you, I just got a driver'

'ahem no you didn't you asked me, and I am certainly not a driver….'

'chill out alex dude'

'yeah just because you want a sly make out session when you say your see you laters'

Me and chloe both laughed. Me Alex and Gran began loading everything into the suv.

We arrived at the airport and I was devastated, I didn't want to show it and I certainly didn't want to cry it was like a few days and I would be right back in Ireland. However it wasn't enough. The kids pilled out the car with Alex while he got their bags and then walked them to the sidewalk while me and Beca sat in silence in the car. I saw her hand move to her face, she wiped a tear away. 'hey baby no crying I thought you were the badass one right?'

'I know I know suck it up dude right?, however I don't feel like sucking it up dude, I feel like being dramatic and all this is shit'

'well it isn't attractive so stop it,' with that I rested my forehead on Beca's. 'it is like 3 sleeps and I get to have you back ok? enjoy your time with Alex and your gran. I will skype you every night the kids have gone to bed ok? you will be back with us before you know it, you went 30 odd years with out me three days should be ok.' I smiled closed my eyes and gave her such a kiss she had to come up for air. 'I love you…' With that I gave her one last kiss as I began to cry, our kiss had become a gentle salty entanglement. We both pulled away, 'see you in three sleeps Chlo'…with that chloe closed the car door and I watched her and the kids walk off into the airport….i was so lost in my own world that when Alex jumped back in the car I jumped out of my skin. 'Can we get beer Alex, I need one.' 'for sure we can you soppy git, and I want to know details about everything, and if you guys got all hot and bothered in anywhere but the spare room at mine I will hurt you' I started laughing. 'actually we didn't have sex full stop in your house.' I wasn't going to tell him I had the greatest car fuck that morning, that memory was all mine.

We were all checked in and the kids had sweets and snacks in their bags for on the flight and as we were sat on the plane strapped in and waiting for take off I placed my head against the plane window and a small teal fell down my face.

The next minute my phone pinged

Grace: I thought you might like this.

Attached to the message was one of the pictures she had taken before, however it wasn't anybody pulling a funny face it was of us al laughing, my family the ones I adore all laughing.'

Chloe: It is perfect Grace. Thanks, See you in three days! Xxx

As the plane took off I kept looking at that photograph. Three days and I get to start the biggest adventure of my life right? And this was only the beginning.


	26. Chapter 27

The journey back with Alex in the van was quite funny, he could see I was feeling super shit and so he fired up the mp3 system and had us pretty much singing carpool karaoke style all the way back.

'so Becs you going to tell Jesse what a utter dick he was the other night.'

'yeah I am actually and the same goes to you! I know you were messing about, but you know how much you piss him off, an of all days you chose that one, dickhead'

'well he fucked you about for like 8 years and I had to watch, nice guy at times maybe but I don't dig him. As for you I am sorry, I know it is tough and I should of stopped when you said. Forgive me?'

'Yeah I forgive you, just. Thanks for taking time with Siobhan that means a lot, she isn't talking about anything and is pretty fragile, yet with you by all accounts she hasn't shut up'

'yeah she is the sweetest kid, she dislikes you though hey.' He started laughing so I hit him in the arm 'Oi no need'

'anyway, I am taking Grace out for lunch and I have some time free from work in about two weeks was thinking I could come over and stay?'

'omg Alex that would be awesome! We can go out, in fact should we head out tonight? I will hate that Chlo isn't here just need to have a dance or drinks'

'ok well spend a few hours with face ache and il sort us out with somewhere for us to hang without any paps on your tail.'

'Awesome!'

We arrived back at the house and I popped in and say Hi and bye to Gran before jumping in the car to meet Jesse.

We were meeting in this funky little coffee place not far from mine.

As I walked in I spotted Jesse sitting out in the little garden area. I picked up a coffee and headed out.

'hey, you ok?'

'yeah not long dropped Chloe at the airport so feeling a bit crap. How about you'

'well firstly I owe you an apology for the other night, I am so sorry Beca I was a total dick, it isn't an excuse, but Alex sometimes just really gets on my nerves an I guess seeing you with Chloe was a little strange.'

'Jesse what the fuck? You are having a child with someone else and are super happy why cant I be the same? And the way you behaved was so out of order. If anything like that happens again I wouldn't think twice of throwing you on the street. You made out like had been some sort of slag. You know that before you I only had one boyfriend, just the one. '

'Yeah Bec a boyfriend I never figured you were gay, I mean, well actually it doesn't matter what a mean. Forget about it'

'no jess, do you have a problem'

'ahhhhh bec it isn't a problem, it was just different seeing you with someone else, I haven't had that before ok and it weirded me out.'

'So you thought behaving like an utter idiot that night was appropriate because you were weirded out? And by the way I would prefer if you didn't label me'

'Yeah I guess I did and I got everything about that evening wrong and I am sorry Bec I really am, As for labelling you I haven't.'

'You said I was gay, last time I checked I hadn't come out, from here on in you concentrate on your girlfriend and your baby and I will concentrate on my relationship.'

'Ok well I figured because you were with Chloe and she is a woman that you had come out. I am sorry, I hope you and Chloe sort everything out.'

'there isn't anything to sort out we are perfect, we are just being respectful for the children as they are priority, anyway what else is new with you?'

As Jesse was talking away I was looking at him and I was still so blown away by his behaviour, at times I wondered how I had been with him for so long, and if we were still together and I had of met chole what would I have done. God I missed her.

I pulled my phone out as In that moment I just wanted to tell her what I felt. 'Chloe I cannot wait to get home to you xxx, I am heading out with Alex tonight for a few drinks, ring me when you land. I love you xxx'

With that I placed my phone in my pocket. 'so what are you going to do about steve at work then? Surely you are not going to let him take the credit for your work right?'

'No of course not Becs but I need to make sure I see this contract out. It is a big deal, I wondered if before you head back to Ireland would you listen to some of the scores for the scenes?'

'yeah sure il swing by tomorrow night?'

'That's awesome thanks, I have to go, I have a doctors appointment, so say 7ish tomos?'

'yeah that is sound Jesse see you then'

'Was god seeing you Bec. If you need me you know where I am'

'Cheers Jesse, I am good though, see you tomorrow'

With that we said our goodbyes and I drove home listening to a playlist Chloe made me last night. The first song that played was 'except to you' by The Strange Familiar.

The lyrics were beautiful, and a tear ran down my face. I walked in and the house was empty a note from Gran.

Becs,

Me and Alex have hit the city, Alex said meet him The Brig. He knows you are not a big fan but meet him there. 8pm.

Gran xxx

I sighed god I dislike that place. I hated how quiet the house was. I thought I would enjoy it however it was too silent, and I wanted everyone back. Jesus who was I turning into.

I hit play on my Chloe playlist and ran the shower. I noticed that Chloe had left her night shirt near my pillow with a note.

Beca,

Teach me to how to be loved.

I know this won't be easy, any of it for either of us, I love you like I never thought was possible, but 3 days feels like three years. Cannot wait to be back with you.

Your Chloe xxx

My heart melted. She was right none of this was going to be easy. I just hope Siobhan will be ok. I ran my hands though my hair before getting in the shower. As I entered the shower all I could think about was Chloe's note, this woman has me intoxicated. Teach her to be loved, I could say the same to her, right? I had no idea.

I was sat on the plane. The children had fallen asleep except Siobhan. Beca had booked us in first class so we had everything we needed. It was not something I had been used too I know that much. I was looking at Siobhan who was watching a film in front of me. I gave her a tap to get her attention.

'hey baby you ok?

'Yeah mum I am watching Moana, it is really good'

'it looks it! I was thinking when we get home shall I see if Dad will pick Patrick and Niamh up and me and you can have a few days just us together?'

'that would be really cool mum could we get a tree house for outside so when they both are doing my head in I can go there and do my reading?'

'I think that sounds perfect lets ring around when we get back.'

'yessssss. Thanks Mum. You are the best.'

With that she squeezed my arm and went back to her film.

I got dressed and just threw some ripped black skinny jeans on and a grey fitted shirt, which I tucked in to my jeans. I had placed a cool black belt on too and had my boots on.

I let my hair fall to my shoulders and put a little amount of makeup on. I ensured I had everything and grabbed my leather jacket on the way out.

The plane landed at Dublin Airport and I waiting for everybody to get off and then organised 3 cranky little people out, I was so tired and was looking forward to getting into bed. As we stood waiting for our luggage I had felt my phone vibrating. I just didn't have the energy to answer right now. I needed a taxi and I needed this damn luggage to turn up.

'MUM…I can see my case'

'Ok Patrick, you made me jump then dont be so loud, ready Siobhan to grab yours too? 1,2,3 pull. Awesome guys, right lets get home.

With that we walked out to see a middle-aged guy holding a sign with our names on. He was smartly dressed. 'I have been asked by a Rebecca Mitchell to pick you up and take you home. If you would like me to take your bags and follow me'

I smiled to myself, even though she wasn't here she was taking care of me.

I got the children sorted in the car and picked up my phone. There were several messages from Beca and she had sent me a picture message of her and Alex looking a little tipsy. There was a voice mail too and a video, I figured I would wait till I got home before I watched and listened to them.

I dropped her a message though.

'Baby, Thanks for sorting the car out, you are an angel. Landed safe will call you when the kids are in bed, as I am sure you wouldn't want a call right now with it being early morning. Hope you and Alex had a great night, I love you Xxx'

It was 14.30 and I knew it was best to keep the children and myself as awake as we could until at least 8pm so they wouldn't have too much jet lag. As we walked in to the house it felt a little strange.

I knew Thomas had been while we were away moving all his stuff out and I don't know it just felt a little empty.

I put all out luggage in the hall way. Siobhan took Niamh upstairs and Patrick went off to his room. I pulled out some paper and wrote a list of shopping I needed.

I picked the phone up and called Thomas.

'Hey, me and the children are back home, holiday never went to plan. Siobhan is quite unwell and I know you are not due to have the children until Monday, however I wondered if you could pick Patrick and Niamh up tonight and have them for a few extra days while I sort Siobhan out and I will then drop her with you on Monday.'

'What is up with Siobhan?'

'She is just having a hard time with our break up, and with you having a new baby on the way. She really feels that you don't love her Thomas.'

'So what you planning to do then? And when are you going to tell the children that you and Mitchell are a couple'

I let out a sigh.

'I am going to arrange for her to go the doctor and then to talk to somebody that isn't either one of us, and she had asked if she can have a tree house so she has some private space. An I am not planning on telling them anything as there is nothing to tell, Rebeca is a friend Thomas.'

'ok, and well do you go about kissing all your friends in secluded spots in Hollywood hills'

My heart sank. Shit. 'what?'

'you have become quite the social media obsession, I suggest you google your Rebeca too looks like she had a great night last night Chloe. I will pick Patrick and Niamh up about 6pm and sort out this Beca crap Chloe I don't want our children subjected to all this press stuff .'

'whatever Thomas, I have no idea what you are talking about, I'll see you at 6pm'

'Chlo I am not being funny with you, so please don't take it that way just check the net out, and then I think you need to have a think, I know I have been an utter dick but I am not having my sex life played across social media. It appears you are, See you in a bit.'

I put the phone down and hit google.

I typed in Beca's name. I went grey and I wanted to throw up. Not only was there photographs of us that day making out in the car, there was also a photograph of Beca dancing up close and personal with some girl in some club.

I ran my hand through my hair and I wanted to vomit.

I pulled the messages up from Beca. I hit voicemail.

'Baby, I am a little bit drunk, I am missing you. I just want you to know that I cannot wait to see you in three sleeps. As for what your wrote on that note on my pillow…..I cant promise as I never make promises but god am I going to love you and your children for as long as you let me. I have to go Alex is moaning. I love you and please please please ring me when you land.'

I laughed a little at how drunk she sounded. My heart warmed at what she had said. Then that picture came in my head and the one of us in the car and it was just everywhere. Fuck!

My head was hurting, the room was spinning, and all could hear was my mobile ringing and ringing and ringing. 'Fuck, make it stop!'

I reached across and saw Chloe's face on the screen. I smiled. God I missed her. I answered

'Heyyyyyyy you ok? my head hurts to fuck! Damn Alex and his shots'

'What the fuck Bec, have you not seen all these pictures of us that day in your car, I mean shit you could of warned me, or something an who the fuck was that girl you were with?'

'Ok, Ok, Ok, this was not the phone call I thought I would be getting, firstly stop shouting, my head hurts, secondly what pictures I haven't seen any and thirdly there is only ever been one woman for me and will only ever be one woman for me and that is you, fuck I struggled with this enough never mind any other women.'

'well maybe you might want to sober up and check your social media and get back to me, because to be honest right now I am sat at home all alone with three kids, one of which is all over the place emotionally and I have a ex husband who has impregnated some work colleague telling me I mean ME that my behaviour is not great for my children and I should check out the pictures on the internet. So you can see why I feel a little pissed off by this, an upset and confused. As for this being a struggle enough, get fucked.'

With that the phone went down.

'FUCK!' I dragged myself out of bed and walked down into my kitchen, Gran was sat on the patio. 'Well you have caused a stir haven't you?'

I looked across at her 'what do you mean by that?'

'well granddaughter of mine, your phone intercom has not stopped all morning to the point I have pulled the cord from it. It appears you have been seen having hot make out sessions in your car with an unknown red head, except she isn't unknown to us, however her face is now all over the internet connected to you and to top it off who the hell is the girl in this photograph here?'

Gran held her ipad out to me, there was a very very very drunk me up close and very personal to a young blonde girl and I was whispering or what looked like whispering into her ear and some of the headlines were not great. 'Beca Mitchell two girls in as many days, is there something she isn't telling us…'

I handed the ipad back to gran.

'arrrrrrrrgh fuck my life'

in a very calm voice Gran opened her mouth.'no Rebeca fuck your idiot behaviour, I mean firstly you and chloe are old enough to know better, I mean in a car in the hills, please, if you wanted time alone you should of asked. I get it is all new and exciting etc however…..'

'gran stop. Just stop.'

'Anyway who is this blonde and your I assume girlfriend is miles away on her own having a slightly stressful time and she will be sitting there thinking god knows what, sometimes you can be a total idiot and most of the time it happens when you are here. Get yourself in the shower get on to skype to your girlfriend and I suggest you stay clear of your social media.'

With that gran went back to reading on her ipad.

I turned around and headed upstairs. I pulled my phone out and messaged Alex.

Dude…WTF xxx

I had a quick shower, made a coffee and then picked my phone up.

I txt Chloe.

Hey Chloe,

Can we talk. I am sorry. Xxx

I could see that she was typing back.

Becs, I don't think so I am struggling a touch too much.

Oh great.

My phone started ringing

'Alex what the fuck dude, what happened and who the fuck is that blonde girl?'

'Oi Weirdo, stop shouting, an oh that blonde was hitting on you and you kept telling her to get lost and that you were not interested because you were in love with a hot Irish redhead, it was quite funny actually'

'yeah that funny mate that chloe has gone mental, and it is all over the net, so get up as we are going for breakfast and you are going to help sort this out.'

I was sat staring into space when Siobhan came down, 'mum Niamh is asleep'

'Ok thanks sweetie, Dad will be here in a few hours anyway so probably best she has a little nap, You ok?'

'yeah are we going shopping when Dad gets here, and he knows I am not going doesn't he?'

'yeah, we are going shopping and yes, he does know you are not going, I told him to pick you up from school on Monday for the week to join up with your brother and sister.'

'Mum I don't want to go for the week, no way, I want to stay here with you.' Siobhan began to cry, and her behaviour was so erratic.

'Siobhan, I am not arguing with you about this. Me and your dad have joint custody well we will do once we get to court to make it official which means one week with me and one week with dad'

'I hate him, and I am not going'

I raised my voice 'Siobhan, I am not arguing with you about this, end of.'

She stood by the door and shouted across to me 'what so you can spend that week without us so you can have Beca here and give her all your attention…what about me mum'

At this point everything that had happened over the past few months and weeks just flashed through my head and I completely lost it, 'what about you!, what about you, well Siobhan what about you, and what about Patrick and Niamh and god forbid what about me! How do you think I feel about everything that has happened, right now I just need you to go watch your brother or your sister because otherwise I will say something I don't mean,'

'what like you want Beca to be your girlfriend and then everybody will laugh even more because dad is having a baby with somebody that isn't you and you now have been seen kissing a girl.'

'GET OUT OF MY FACE RIGHT NOW Siobhan'

At that point she left the living room and headed upstairs. I walked to the backdoor and I cried so hard. I pulled my phone out.

Becs,

Please please please ring me xxx

I had dragged myself to Alex's place and as we were about to leave my phone went off, which Is probably a good thing as Alex ran off to puke.

Message Chloe,

Before I even finished reading it I was calling her.

She picked up 'Chloe baby you there you ok?'

I could hear sobbing 'shit'

'Chlo it is me baby tell me what's going on, are you safe?'

'yeah Bec am safe'

What a relief.

'ok beautiful, calm down and tell me slowly what has happened?'

'me and Siobhan had a huge fight and I lost my cool with her and said some not nice things and she said some horrible things and everything is just shit.'

'Ok well everything isn't shit, you are home, you are safe, you have a girlfriend who loves you very much even if she can be a total dick at times especially when she has been drinking. However, she adores you and wants you to know that the stupid blonde girl got told a million times that I was not interested as I had a hot Irish redhead girlfriend that I adored. You have a lovely home too, 3 amazing children and you are about to go back to work and college potentially, so what is so shit about all of that?

So, what you are going to do in a minute, is put the phone down, go upstairs find Siobhan say you are sorry and explain that you got a little upset and you are tired and grumpy but that you should never of taken that out on her. Despite what she had said. The give her a huge hug. Then when Thomas comes run a shower, go shopping come back and relax. Ok.'

Sniffles continued to come through the speaker on the phone.

'ok' I heard Chloe whisper.

'more than a whisper Clo, ok.?'

'Yeah ok, I am sorry about the way I reacted about that blonde girl. I just had this wave of insane jealously which I never have before.'

'it is ok, I am sorry for allowing myself getting caught in such a silly position. And, for the fact it is all over everywhere'

'no, it is ok. Becs I know we had this plan to wait to tell the children, but I think I need to tell them the truth. Once I have done that you can do whatever it is you need to do, I just don't want the children in the press.'

'baby are you sure, wait till I get to you, we can tell them together.'

'No Becs I am going to tell them tonight I hate lying to them and I also hate that people out there will tell them and not me, so going to order a takeout and tell them before they go to Thomas. I love you and I wish you were here.'

'I love you too, and I hate that you are so upset, and that you are doing this on your own. When I get there, the children will be with Thomas for their week right? and me and you are going to spend some time in my apartment away from the world.'

'Ok, I will give you a skype call later. I love you, bye'


	27. Chapter 28

I put the phone down and hit up the number of a florist near Chloe, I ordered her a bunch of her favourite flowers to be delivered. This utterly sucked an I couldn't wait to get back to Ireland. 'Alex come on I need food and more importantly I need coffee and to organise a statement for the bloody press.'

I felt better that I had heard Becs voice she just calmed me down instantly.

I ordered pizza to arrive for tea for me and the kids, and I went upstairs to wake Niamh and to ask Patrick to come downstairs.

I picked Niamh up from her bedroom floor. She was lying next to her crayons and paper where she had been drawing. I looked at one of the papers and loved all her squiggles. I gave her plenty of kisses as I woke her up by whispering in her ear how much I loved her, and she snuggled into my neck.

'Hey Patrick, can you come downstairs please, I have ordered pizza and I need to talk to you.'

'ok mum be down in a minute, an yesssssss to pizza! Do I have to go to dads though I want to stay here?'

'yeah mate Mum just needs to take Siobhan the doctors and to help her with somethings ok.'

Within about 35 minutes there was a knock on the door and the pizza guy was stood there, I paid him and took the boxes into the living room. I had never felt so sick in all my life. I couldn't believe I was about to inform my children that I had a girlfriend I mean what.

The children helped themselves to slices of pizza. Patrick more so than anybody else, I swear that boy is a human food vacuum!

Deep breath here goes. 'right kids, mummy needs to tell you all something. You know me, and daddy have broken up and that daddy has a new girlfriend. She makes daddy happy, well mummy has found somebody that makes her very happy too, and I don't want to keep secrets from you about anything, but if this makes you upset or sad that is ok too, you just need to tell mummy how you feel ok and if you have any questions then just ask them and I will answer them

I looked at my beautiful children, we were sat on the floor with all our pizzas on the picnic blanket boxes open and glasses of juice dotted around. I could feel their eyes on me.

I knew Siobhan was not going to like what I was about to say and wanted to throw up, I wish Beca was here.

'ok, well mummy has been on some dates with…Beca.' I swallowed hard and began playing my hands I looked down as I just wasn't sure I was ready to take the reactions off my children to what I had said.

Next minute I was nearly thrown to the floor from my crossed legged position by Patrick.

'Mum are you serious? Have you kissed her? This is soooooooooo cool'

I started laughing and obviously Niamh was a touch little to understand but she kept saying Beca and giggling, as she came over to join the pile on. Siobhan took some pizza and went upstairs. She caught my eyeline as she left.

'so mum have you kissed her? Is she going to be living here with us all the time? This is the best news, and I am getting a new baby brother or sister with dad, it is well better you have broken up. Plus I get 2 birthdays two Christmas….Niamh come here' they started messing about jumping and running around. 'Mum Beca better not make you sad like dad because I will make sure she cries lots if she does.' This broke my little heart. This little boy was amazing. I smiled 'Well I hope she doesn't either, and yes Patrick I have kissed her, and no she wont be living here, she has a apartment in Dublin and she will be living there' He looked at me and then at Niamh and smirked. Those two continued to mess about and stuff themselves with pizza and brownies. I put the left overs in a box. Before long there was a knock on the door and Thomas was stood there.

'Hey Thomas'

'Hey, you ok, hey kids you ready?'

'yeah dad I will get Niamh's stuff and Siobhan is not coming.'

'Thank You Patrick'

'Yeah, I am ok thanks Tom, just tired, jet lag. I have packed enough stuff for them and I will drop their school uniform off on Sunday night if it is ok?

'Yeah jet lag had me big time last week, listen Chloe while the kids are grabbing their bits, I just want to say I am sorry, I know I have said it to you a million times and so it no longer has meaning but I don't want the kids to see us fight anymore, and I don't want us to fall out, I love you to bits just not in the way either of us needed anymore, I have seen those pictures online of you and Beca an my mum of all people pointed out that you had never looked at me the way you do her in those pictures, not even our wedding pic do you look as if you love me like you do her. I am happy for you. I have arranged to see a counsellor too next week, after I spoke to you before I realised I need to understand why our Siobhan thinks I don't love her and I need to fix that. Infact I need to look at the relationships I have with all the children it needs to be better, and I know I have said this before too, but I mean it'

I had been stood at the island in the kitchen while he gave me his speech. He was looking more like the Thomas I first met just older too, he had his hair cut and styled he was cleanly shaven and was dressed in dark blue skinny jeans, brown boots and a fitted grey shirt with a brown leather jacket and he smelt nice too. I was nice to see.

'yeah erm thanks for your apology, and well it is all very new to both of us, and I am sorry you found out through the press, that should never have happened. For what its worth you look good Thomas, happy. Siobhan is in her room. I told the kids me and Beca had been on dates Patrick and Niamh were well just Patrick and Niamh however Siobhan didn't say anything to me she just picked up her pizza, stared at me and then went to her bedroom.'

I had started to get upset. Next minute Thomas wrapped me up in a hug, he placed his hand on the back of my head like he used too when we first met, and he was comforting me he put his other arm around my waist. It was strange because it felt so familiar so comforting yet sort of awkward. He whispered, 'she will be ok, I promise, most of this is my fault Chloe I will fix it.' With that he placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head and pulled away. He started to walk out of the kitchen towards the stairs. 'Patrick do me a favour, take these keys for my car and can you help Niamh get in her seat and put your bags in please and daddy will be outside in a minute.' He ruffled Patricks long blonde locks as he went past.

With that he disappeared upstairs to Siobhan's room.

I helped Patrick with Niamh getting into the car, as I turned around, Siobhan and Thomas were walking down the path. 'I am going to go and stay with Patrick and Niamh at dad's mum.'

I looked at Thomas, before I got chance to speak she gave me a massive hug, 'I love you mum and I am sorry, I will see you on Sunday when you drop our uniform off.'

She then got in the car and shut the door.

I looked up at Thomas 'Erm explain.'

'I went upstairs and just talked with her and I said I was sorry and if she came to spend time with me and her brother and sister it would be nice and me and her could have time together when they went to bed as I wanted her to know how much I love her, and I asked her if she would come to counselling with me because I was scared, and I think that she could help me. She said she was scared of going too and asked if I could help her. She said she still wants her tree house though, so I think you will be busy there' he started laughing at me.

'you ok that she comes with me?'

'erm yeah it is just a shock that's all, she hated you before, I don't understand, any problems just message me, could you just ask her to facetime me before bed'

'Chloe she has hated me for some time but maybe me and her having counselling together will help us both. Of course, I will. Go and have a sleep you look exhausted and il get the kids to message you later.'

As I shut the door behind me, I made a coffee and sat on the sofa it was so quiet. I couldn't believe what just happened. It was like I was having a dream, it was surreal. Siobhan had me so confused! I couldn't get my head around it, but I knew it was a good thing and maybe Thomas was starting to man up.

There was a knock at the door, there was a middle-aged woman holding a huge bunch of flowers. I opened the door, 'these are for Chloe' I am assuming that is you.' I started laughing.

'yes, wow they are beautiful'

'They certainly are there is a card inside too, hope you have a lovely evening'

I took them in to the kitchen and placed them in a vase and opened the card up

Chloe,

'I remember it well  
The first time that I saw  
Your head around the door  
'Cause mine stopped working….xxx

I had such a smile and I took a photo and sent it to Becs.

Beca I can't wait for you to come home. These are beautiful thank you. C xx

I was so tired. So, I thought I would run a bath and relax tonight and crack on with that tomorrow.

'Alex are you really going to eat all of that, your breakfast is huge!'

'erm yes I am so hungry, now what's this about a press release, and why cant your management do this?'

'it is about me an Chloe, she was telling the children about us tonight and she said her and Thomas have talked and they do not want the children in the press which is completely understandable. So I figured if I did like an Instagram post and then sent out a press release.'

Alex was completely stuffing his face with eggs benedict. 'Dude'

'ok ok, so how have the children reacted?'

'I don't know yet. I just can't wait to get back to her, I just don't think this whole LA life style is for me anymore. I was thinking about selling my place too.'

Alex started coughing quite badly. 'Jesus mate you ok?'

'Becs you can't sell this it is your first home, its special. I mean at least be with Chloe a year or so before you make any crazy decisions, use it as a holiday home whatever you have to do but don't sell it, after everything with Jesse moving in here is what saved you.'

'yeah I guess' I understood what Alex was saying but I just didn't want reminders of where I had been and who I had been I wanted a blank canvas. I wanted to start again.

With that my phone chimed. Chloe.

I read her message and typed a quick response.

Baby, you are welcome, I thought they would put a smile on your face, you ok? Becs xxx

Me and Alex chatted all things, work, gran, etc he told me he had been on a few dates with a guy and he was hopeful it was going somewhere, and I was too he was such a idiot but such a sweetheart and he needed somebody who could see that.

We finished Breakfast and I dropped Alex off at home he said he needed sleep which made me laugh. He used to be the biggest party animal of us all and now he needs a nap! I got back home, walked in and poured a glass of water. I could hear Gran on the phone, 'Ok ok calm down calm down and breathe ok, concentrate and tell me what has happened. An I will fin Beca ok.

I walked into my spare room. Gran looked and me and handed me her ipad. 'Book flights home now. Earliest you can get. Don't panic get that done for me and you and then I will explain.'

What the actual fuck. Everything was fine, everybody was fine, what the fuck was going on.

I quickly fumbled around and managed to get flights late tonight. I looked up at Gran. 'booked we leave here at 05.30 in the morning arrive home at 09.30ish have to be at the airport for 2.30am- Gran if its Chloe put her on, whats going on,' I was panicking and by the look gran was giving me I needed to calm down before I spoke to Chlo.

'ok Chlo, Beca has booked us flights home we will be there about 9.30am ok and we will come and meet you ok. I will pass Beca over now so you can speak with her. If you need any thing just call, see you soon sweetheart.'

Gran placed the phone in my hand covering it before I spoke. 'Beca do not let her know what you are feeling ok, don't freak out just listen even if she isn't making sense ok.'

'seriously what the fuck!'

'Chlo baby its me whats the matter, whats happened,'

She sounded hysterical down the phone. 'Becs Its Patrick, they were all playing outside and his football ran in the road and ran out and didn't look and a car hit him and knocked im into the air, he is really sick he is at the hospital in surgery and I don't know what to do.'


	28. Chapter 29

Hey baby, listen, everything is going to be ok, me and gran will be over as soon as we can ok. Are Siobhan and Niamh with you?'

I could hear Chloe trying to hold her tears back, fuck I hated being this far away.

'no they are with Thomas mum and dad we didn't want them to be here they saw what they saw and that was enough well Siobhan saw everything Niamh just saw what was going on in the house. Thomas is here, we are just waiting, I haven't even seen him, I cant loose him Beca I can'

'Hey hey hey that isn't going to happen ok, he is going to come out of there and be like mum when can I get back playing, ok, is there anything you want me to do?'

Chloe went very quiet, I could just hear her crying, 'just get here, I really need you, I am going to go because hearing your voice and not having you here is making me more upset, il call you if anything changes. I love you.'

'I love you too, I promise I will get there as fast as I can.'

I hung up. 'FUCK!' i walked off to my room to pack my bag.

I put the phone down and took my coffee from Thomas, I sat next to him and he placed his arm around me, I had never wanted to feel Beca's arm around me more than I had right now.

'Chlo, he will be fine, we brought him up to be super strong right, he will be ok.' Thomas kissed the top of my head.

A doctor came through the door 'are you the parents of Patrick?'

I jumped up off the chair 'Yes I am his mum?, is he ok? is he awake? Can we see him?'

'Patrick has had a severe trauma to his left leg, we have managed to place pins in to stabilise it for him and he has suffered some tissue damage. We will not know the extend of the damage until healing process begins. He suffered a broken left wrist, he has burns on his left arm and side and he has facial injuries. I expect he will be in hospital for some weeks. He is sleeping now and has had a lot of pain relief, he may not remember what happened. I have requested that a sofa bed be brought down for you as I am aware you wish to stay the evening. Any questions at all just ask.'

'so he is going to be ok, he isn't going to die?'

'He isn't out of the woods but he is in a much better place than he was when he came in to us.'

I turned to Thomas and sobbed into his chest. I felt his tears fall on to me, 'Come on Chlo, lets go see our boy' Thomas placed his arm around my waist as we walked in to Patrick. I took one look at his little tiny body all covered in bruises, wires, swelling, etc 'My little boy what has happened to you, mummy and daddy are here.'

I couldn't bare to look at him like that but I knew I couldn't leave. He needed me but fuck this was hard, my little boy was lying there and there was nothing I could do. I was his mum and I couldn't make it better. I sat next to him and placed my hand on top of his little hand, I bent down and kissed him. 'Chlo I am going to go and ring mum.' I looked up at Thomas I knew it was an excuse he wanted to do exactly what I wanted to. 'ok, could you get me a coffee please on the way back'

I sat there looking at Patrick and I started to think about when I had found out I was pregnant with him, to when he was born and how magic that had been. Now he was growing up and was such a bundle of energy and so kind, gentle, funny and protective of his sisters and me.

I sat on the bed in my room and just took a deep breath. I mean what the fuck was happening. That little guy was the most sweetest little guy I had ever come across and I mean what on earth was Siobhan going through and Chloe, I can't even imagine, how am I even going to support her with any of this.

There was a knock on my door 'Beca Thomas has rang my phone he wants to speak to you'

I felt sick. Be ok be ok be ok come on Patrick you have to fight come on, please be ok.-I whispered as I walked towards the door.

As I opened it Gran was stood there holding her phone.

'erm hiya Thomas, this is Beca.'

'Hiya Beca, look I know you think I am a giant dickhead. Well I know I am however could we for the next few minutes of this call just forget that you think that way please. Its Chloe, I know you are coming over as soon as but please, just watch her eating, she will relapse I know she will, the stress, and I have seen her admitted to hospital with that disorder and it was horrific, I just don't want her to go through that again. Patrick is out of the woods but hasn't woken up yet and fuck he is in a right mess' I could hear Thomas begin to cry.

'sorry, I didn't mean to cry its just not nice seeing him that way ya know'

'erm no need for apologises and thank you for the heads up, I should be there by 9.30am is there anything I can do?'

'Thank You, erm just look after her, I know I hurt her beyond belief but I do love her, she is amazing and such a fantastic mum, I was an idiot. She will try to push you away but just don't move, she needs to know you are not going anywhere, and that is all my fault.'

I took a deep breath. 'Thomas, thank you and if you think of anything else just call. I will see you tomorrow.'

'actually Beca could you pick Siobhan and Niamh up from my parents when you land and take them to the hospital they need Chlo more than me.'

'Yeah of course just message my gran the address and they need their dad just as much don't forget that, regardless.'

'thanks, its always been Chlo though. See you tomorrow'

With that he hung up. I handed the phone back to gran. 'Where is the whiskey?'

'Beca, talk to me what s going through your head?'

'what is going through my head is far too much to convey.'

'well we have a long flight coming up'

'Gran I just feel like we are not getting a minute, its always one thing or another it is just never relaxed and calm. I feel like I cant breathe'

My Gran pulled me into such a tight hug and kissed my head.

She pulled away after a few moments and placed her hands on either side of my face.

'Beca my beautiful girl, your partner has three young children, you now have a family and calm will not happen for quite a few years. Having a family is hard. You just need to find a routine and when you do that Siobhan will settle, Patrick will be back up and about and Niamh will be just as fabulous as always. You and Chloe need to stick together like glue, if you don't support her in the right way Becs, or you pull a Beca Missing in action stunt'

'not going to happen Gran, as much as I am like fuck it was easier without all this, I only have to picture Chloe and I know running away isn't an option. I just feel very overwhelmed\d and a little vulnerable. What if I fuck up unintentionally?'

'You wont, I know you Rebeca and you have never fucked up. Trust your gut feeling with what to do, and sometimes that thing is just to do nothing but be there'

'OK lets get all of our stuff in the car, I will call Alex and txt jesse'

'I will make up a coffee for before we leave.'

I pulled my phone out of my pocket as gran left.

I picked my guitar up and hit record…

'When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
There's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up  
And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got Yeah, we got a lot at stake  
And in the end you're still my friend, at least we did intend for us to work  
We didn't break, we didn't burn  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not  
And who I am.

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up  
Still looking up...

I won't give up on us  
(No I'm not giving up)  
God knows I'm tough, He knows  
(I am tough, I am loved)  
We've got a lot to learn  
(We are alive, We are loved)  
God knows we're worth it  
(And were worth it)

I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up...hen I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
There's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?

I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up

And when you're needing your space  
To do some navigating  
I'll be here patiently waiting  
To see what you find

'Cause even the stars they burn  
Some even fall to the earth  
We've got a lot to learn  
God knows we're worth it  
No, I won't give up

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make

Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use the tools and gifts we got Yeah, we got a lot at stake  
And in the end you're still my friend, at least we did intend for us to work  
We didn't break, we didn't burn  
We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not  
And who I am.

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up  
Still looking up...

I won't give up on us  
(No I'm not giving up)  
God knows I'm tough, He knows  
(I am tough, I am loved)  
We've got a lot to learn  
(We are alive, We are loved)  
God knows we're worth it  
(And were worth it)

I won't give up on us  
Even if the skies get rough  
I'm giving you all my love  
I'm still looking up...

I hit stop, did a little bit of editing and sent it to Chlo. I wanted her to know that I wasn't going anywhere, I wanted to reassure her and felt that song said everything I wanted her to hear.

Thomas came back in, coffee in hand. 'Hey, sorry I left, I erm just needed a minute.'

I took the coffee off him and smiled 'I know, don't forget I am still your wife, I know you inside out Thomas.' He smiled and laughed. 'I guess you always will right?'

I took a sip of my coffee and nodded. I felt my phone vibrate.

I pulled it out to see it was Beca.

Chlo, I am heading off for the airport in a bit, I will be there as quick as the plane will get me there. If you just need a minute listen to this. I love you xxx

I could see there was a video message.

I typed back a quick I love you too xxx

I didn't watch the video I thought I would wait. I slipped my phone back in my pocket.

'Were the girls ok?'

'yeah, mum said her and Siobhan are watching a film snuggled up in duvets and Niamh is asleep.'

I took a deep breath and rubbed my face with my hands. I felt so tired but I didn't want to take my eyes off Patrick for one moment.

Thomas phone went off. He left. 'Hey Patrick, Beca has sent a video of her playing guitar should we listen to it together?'

I hit play. I couldn't believe how lucky I was, she was sat there on her bed so naturally beautiful, she looked so vulnerable yet so beautiful. As she started to sing, I knew the song and my heart broke. I mean we hadn't even know each other that long never mind been together that long and that woman had put up with so much, I am surprised she hadn't been all like fuck this, instead here she was reassuring me that she was not giving up and that she was going to be there.

I sobbed into Patricks bed.

I was startled when Thomas practically ran through the door. 'Chlo its Rachel, erm she is on her way to the hospital she has gone into premature labour, I erm'

'You need to go, go on quick, she needs you, me and Patrick will be fine,'

He bent down kissing Patrick and told him how much he loved him and then he kissed the top of my head and headed for the door 'Thomas, she nd your baby will be fine, I just know it,'

He smiled and left. I took a deep breath. 'Hey, Patrick you hear that by morning Beca and Grace will be here and you could have a new brother or sister how exciting. I wiped tears from my eyes.

Me and Gran headed through the airport and found ourselves with a whiskey waiting to depart. 'So, Rebeca, when we get back home, this is the plan. You are going to pick Siobhan and Niamh up, I will head home and pick up some essential food things, then you drop the girls with me and you head to the hospital, with the girls, I will make tea and leave it in the oven ok. I will then meet you all at the hospital and you will bring Chloe, and the girls home. Then I will head back to you about 9pm and Chloe and you can head back the hospital and I will have the girls ok.'

I looked over at my Gran. She really is amazing. I pulled her into a big hug. 'I love you so much thank you'

'Right lets get another whiskey ordered I need to sleep on this flight otherwise I will be exhausted when we land!'

The doctors came round and did their checks and I found myself going through my phone looking at photos of me and the children and talking to Patrick about the memories and I did find myself laughing at times from the antics they had gotten up too.

There had been that many doctors in and out I hadn't really noticed the time. I had messages from Thomas to say that Rachel had an emergency C-Section and he had a little boy. However, he was in intensive care and would be for the next few days but he had been 5lb so had good weight on him. I was so relieved for him but part of me hated that he was there and not here with our son. I knew I shouldn't feel that way but sat in that room that morning I felt so alone.

The door opened. I didn't look up as I was expecting another nurse.

'Mummy' I looked up to see Nimah running at me I scooped her up in to my arms and peppered her with kisses, I looked across to see Siobhan just stood there.

'hey baby come here' I held my arms out for her and god did that little girl sob her heart out'

I had picked the girls up after a quiet sleep filled flight. I stood by the door watching Chloe with her girls.

'did daddy bring you?'

'Nope Mummy daddy has a baby boy, Beca'

'Beca picked us up from nan and grandads mum, she made sure we went home first and we had a shower, changed our clothes, had something to eat and we brought somethings for Patrick.'

Chloe looked up, 'watch out a minute girls.' She stood up as I popped my head around the corner holding two coffee's and some muffins.

'Coffee?' she threw her arms around me and I could feel the tears falling onto my top.

Luckily a nurse walked by collecting the coffee from me and placing it on the side.

I snaked my arms around her waist and just held her.

After a few moments we pulled apart, she was stood looking right into my eyes, she had lost that sparkle from hers, I wiped tears away with the pad of my thumb and kissed her gently on the cheek. 'Hey'

She smiled at me 'It is nice for you to be home'

I placed my hand in hers and walked over to the girls and Patrick. While we had been having our moment the girls had been with the nurse who had been explaining what all the wires were for and that their brother could hear them he was just having a big sleep.

'Granny Grace is making us a special tea tonight and she is making cookies and hot chocolate with us later.'

'Wow baby that sounds good.'

Beca had given Patrick a fist pump and kissed him letting him know she was there. Siobhan was sat on my knee and Niamh was sat on Beca's knee.

'Right girls shall we tell mummy the plan for tonight?'

Siobhan smiled at Beca 'Mum granny grace is coming here in a little while and she is going to read Patrick some of his books and you are coming home for a little while with me, Beca and Niamh.'

'I can't leave Patrick'

'Mummy Beca and Granny Grace said you would say that but Beca said you smell so need a shower or the nurses will kick you out and Granny grace will be here. Beca told Granny Grace that she is not taking no as an answer even if it means you don't like her for a little while.'

I looked at Beca and laughed. 'Well I didn't quite say it like that right Siobhan?'

Siobhan laughed.

Beca winked at me 'So gran is coming in about 10minutes and you are coming with us.'

'Becs I, I cant'

'hey you are coming, and on the way we are going to pop to see daddy aren't we and your new brother aren't we?'

Siobhan nodded 'yeah mum dad said he is very small and a little poorly so would be nice for us to meet him and give him a kiss to let him know we are happy he is here'

I looked at her while running my hands through her hair 'you ok with that Siobhan baby'

'Yep if he is going to grow up like Patrick then we will have lots of fun, Beca said that me and dad have counselling session tomorrow too'

'Oh right ok, your dad must of forgot to tell me.'

Siobhan and Niamh took Becs ipad and were watching youtube videos by Patricks bed laughing with each other and telling Patrick to look.

'Your children really are something else you know.'

I smiled at Bec, 'I know they are amazing right? I am surprised with how well they reacted to seeing Patrick with all these wires and machines'

'I spoke with one of the nurses at the station to ask her if she could help them so they didn't freak out.'

I looked up at Beca who was stood next to my chair. 'what did I do to deserve you'

Beca kissed the top of my head 'just by being you, that is always enough, you are perfect'

At that moment Gran came bouncing through the door. She grabbed hold of Chloe so tight. I pulled my phone out and messaged Thomas to say we were on our way with the girls.

'Grace, I cant leave Patrick seriously I need to be here'

'You have three children Chloe and they all need you, and if you don't keep it together they will not cope, so go with Beca, me and Patrick will be fine, we always are. I will read to him.'

I started to cry, walked over to Patrick and told him I would be back very soon and kissed the top of his head. The girls and Beca kissed him too.

I left his room and I took Becas hand in mine as the girls walked a little infront.

'Beca I don't think I want to see the baby, I don't think I can stomach looking at Rachel.'

Beca shouted the girls, 'Do me a favour, you see that machine their could you go and pick me and mummy some drinks and some chocolate please, here is the money and pick something each too'

'Beca I don't want'

She cut me off 'Right listen, I know this is a very emotional time and it is fucking killing you that you cannot fix this or help Patrick, however, these girls need to know that you and their dad are Ok and Rachel is now going to be in their lives just as much as me. So as much as you don't want to see her, this isn't about you, me, her or Thomas it is about those girls right.'

Beca was very assertive and it shocked me a little, but she was right.

The girls came running back with the items they had picked and we headed to the maternity ward.

We walked in and Thomas was stood there, the girls ran at him and he game them hugs and kisses. Rachel was sleeping s he told the girls to be quiet, he walked over to Chloe and hugged her they had a minute talking about Patrick, 'right girls would you like to come and meet your little brother Riley'

He walked with them in front of me and Chloe and he had Siobhan on one side and Niamh on the other holding their hands.

I took chloe's hand in mine.

We walked in to this room that had a few babies in and little Riley was the smallest thing I had ever seen, he was very cute. The girls were gushing about him and telling him about Patrick. Chloe was wiping tears away. 'Hey you ok babe?'

'Yeah I am fine, just my babies are growing up so fast, I remember Siobhan being this small, well maybe a little bigger, now look at her, everything that is going on in her head yet look how gentle she is. She amazes me, they all do'

'well I am sure she will make an amazing older sister to this little guy just like she is with Patrick and Niamh and whatever other siblings come along in the future right'

She smiled at me 'Becs would you want children In the future?'

The question took me by surprise and my answer could be a game changer, what if I say yes and she doesn't and what If I say no and she does, balls what do I say to this.

'I guess I am open to it yeah, it all depends on what is going on with us as a family to whether it is right or not really?'

Wow I felt this massive rush, I mean oh my god imagine if one day we are introducing Patrick and the girls to our baby, this was something she wasn't adverse too, and it was something that really settled me. I wasn't ready for my babies to grow up, the fact there was potential for more babies in the future brought a smile to my face.'

I pulled Beca in towards me and kissed her before pulling away. 'mummy come and see how small Riley is!'

Well I guess that was the right answer, I mean having a child of my own, that was a whole new kind of crazy.

'I think Niamh is a little excited, hey Thomas' he started laughing 'just a little'

We were there for about 20minutes and then said our goodbyes and headed home.

As we entered Chloe's I looked at the girls 'right you girls know the drill, right.

Niamh looked at me 'Yep, come on Siobhan, help'

Chloe laughed 'what have you got planned?'

'Wait and see' I gave her my phone, call grace check on Patrick.

While she did that I walked up to meet the girls, right we all sorted?'

They looked very proud. 'yeah the bath is running, Niamh has put the bath bomb in, and a dressing gown for mum. I placed all those petals in the water, though I wouldn't want them in my bath, gross.'

'ok I will light these candles and pour her a drink.' You ok to help me with preparing tea?'

'Yeah'

'I know you still don't like me much and that is ok, but thank you for helping me, it means a lot'

Siobhan looked up at me 'Its ok, its for mum, I will get Niamh and take her to watch some tv. Then we can help you'

'Thanks'

I could hear Chloe coming up the stairs, 'Becs, where are you?'

'In your bedroom Clo.'

She walked in 'Patrick ok?'

'No change, Grace said she is reading his favourite story an that is Peter Pan so she will probably enjoy that more than him'

I laughed and just pulled Chlo close to me. I just held her. She took a deep breath and sighed. 'you ok?'

'Yeah just wanted to smell you, I missed it'

I lifted her head and pulled the band out of her hair so her messy bun fell and her hair fell onto her shoulders. I then kissed her gently on the lips. I lifted her arms in the air and pulled her oversized hoodie off, then her t-shirt. I kissed along her collar bone and ran my hands across her bare skin. I took her hand and lead her to the bathroom, I hat placed candles all around her bath, the girls ad emptied rose petals into the water, War against drugs tracks were on shuffle low and there was a glass of whiskey on the side.

She looked back at me, 'becs this is beautiful' her eyes filled up with tears.

I pulled her close and placed my hands on her hips. I kissed her on the lips softly and I could taste her salty tears, I pulled away, 'everything will be ok, Patrick will be awake before you know it and things will settle with Siobhan too, so I want you to just enjoy this time for you ok, you are emotionally and physically exhausted'

She kissed me gently on the lips and I pulled at the waistband of her tracksuit bottoms, she stepped out of them and I ran my hands over her body kissing her gently on her neck, shoulders and back. She stepped into the bath and lay back.

'right enjoy, if you need anything at all just shout me ok?'

I smiled up at her 'I will, thank you'

'Anything for you' she winked and left the room.

I ran down the stairs 'right girls lets get tea sorted.'

'Beca can we play some music?'

'sure beca I am 10.' She started laughing.

'thanks for making me feel old,'

'You are old'

I looked down. Thanks Niamh, love you too.'

Siobhan switch the music system on an put on what you like'

As I prepared a coffee and handed Niamh cutlery to place on the table I felt a rush of warmth over me. Siobhan had picked to play this. 'Siobhan, great song choice, I worked with Kt on this one, Hard Girls was great to record, have you seen the video, it has sporty spice in it!'

'Who is that?'

'Who is that?, spice girls, you know girl power'


	29. 30

I could hear the girls and Beca laughing downstairs, I don't know what she had them doing but it was certainly taking their minds off the fact their brother was in hospital so poorly. I closed my eyes and allowed the smells and the warmth of the water engulf me. I completely lost track of time.

The door opened and Bec was stood there holding my mobile phone.

'It's Gran, she says Patrick is coming around, he is a bit groggy, but he is asking for you and is getting really distressed, get changed and I take you. Gran said she will bring the girls back here and I can stay with you.'

'omg Beca he is awake, like awake, my little boy, have you told the girls, is Thomas not around, does he know has he been called? How long was in in the bath?'

I stood in the bathroom watching Chlo get dressed hurriedly, she threw some grey sweat pants on and a navy ucla hoodie on, tied her hair up in a messy bun, everything was super hurried. I stepped forward and placed my hands on her arms.

'babe, just stop and stand still for one minute.'

'Beca I need to get to the hospital not standstill'

'Chlo. One minute. That's all. Your girls or your son do not need to see you like this all flustered. So just take some deep breathes and I will sort the girls and the car out ok.' with that I leant forward and kissed Chlo on her cheek.

'Gran rang Thomas too, he is on his way from maternity to Patrick, he will meet you there, and you were in the bath for 40minutes'

With that I headed down the stairs, 'girls we are off to the hospital, mum is getting ready and your dad is there. Patrick is awake'

Siobhan looked up at me 'really, he is really awake? Can he talk?' she had such a smile on her face. 'yeah really awake and he is trying to talk yeah but he is a little confused at the minute and is asking for his mum. So I am taking all of us up the hospital now so your mum can go and see him. Could you grab a few toys for Niamh and put her in the car for me please while I just put a few things together for your mum?'

Siobhan nodded and ran up the stairs to her mum I could hear her shouting Patrick is going to be ok mum. I looked across at Niamh, I walked over to her and picked her up. She was so small and beautiful, come on little one let's get your hair brushed, otherwise everybody at the hospital will think you are not loved' I loved her hair was just as red as Chloe's and her eyes just as blue.

Niamh looked at me and giggled she gave me a very slobbery kiss on my cheek and put her hands through my hair. I couldn't help but smile. I heard Chloe and Siobhan coming down the stairs and Chloe was talking on the phone. 'Yeah Thomas we are leaving now. See you soon.'

'ready guys, Niamh come on baby lets go.'

Chlo got the girls sorted in the car and I jumped in the front seat. We stopped at some traffic lights, Chloe was looking out the window just in a world of her own. I placed my left hand on top of hers and she squeezed it before looking at me and smiling. 'I hope he is ok Beca' I rubbed my thumb over the top of her hand. 'of course, he will be, he's your boy' she looked at me lifted our hands up and kissed the top of my hand.

We arrived at the hospital and Chloe was greeted by Thomas, she embraced him and he kissed her on the cheek, and I felt a pang of jealousy, I know I shouldn't of but I couldn't help it. For a moment it was like I didn't exist. Chloe walked in front of me with Thomas, Siobhan holding her dads hand while Chloe had hold of Niamh and they walked towards the children's ward. So, in true Beca Mitchell fashion and without a moment's thought I walked left as they went right.

I walked down to the cafeteria and could feel tears fall down my face. I knew Thomas was Patricks dad and I know Chlo was not interested in him one bit anymore, but I had never felt like I wasn't part of this, until just then. I knew I was being selfish but at that moment I didn't care.

Before I knew it, I was startled by a slap across the back of my head.

I shot up and spun round 'what the fuck.' I stood rubbing my head with my left hand.

'Never mind what the fuck granddaughter of mine, get your tiny selfish ridiculous self to your girlfriend and now. I cannot believe you sometimes. Your girlfriend the girl you insist you have fallen for has been going through utter hell the past few days, worrying sick about her badly injured son and you decided today that you are just going to abandon her? When she needs you, because despite that her son is awake doesn't mean looking at him all distressed and injured is any easier.'

'She didn't seem to need me once we arrived here, she has Thomas, they seemed cosy enough.'

'Rebeca Mitchell, I have loved you from the moment your mother, my beautiful daughter told me she was expecting you, and I am so proud of everything you have ever done however the past 20 minutes of your life have disappointed me the most. Now I am about to go and get Siobhan and Niamh and take them home, you are going to go and apologise to your girlfriend who by the way has been frantically wondering where you had gone too, fortunately for you I know what you are like and when I saw Chloe, Thomas and the girls walk in and there was no sign of you, I knew you would have done a runner. So, I told her you had messaged me to say you had forgot to lock the car. Which I doubt she believed so order her a coffee and take it up to her, tell her you didn't want to encroach on Patrick talking to his mum and dad so you grabbed her a coffee as you felt she might need one, and never ever do I want to have to speak with you like this again you hear me? You have a beautiful girl through their and you are part of a family, man the fuck up will you'

Gran walked off, I didn't even get another word out to her. I just ordered two coffees' and headed to the ward. With Grans words whizzing round my head.

I walked towards the ward and pushed the door open, Chloe looked up at me, wiping tears off her cheek. Patrick looked over towards me 'Beca!'

'Hey buddy how you feeling? And no dancing for us for a little while hey mate, I guess we can get you practising playing some music on my beat board, you only need one hand for that dude' I had placed the coffee down on the table by his bed and ruffled his hair slightly. I leant down and kissed him on the head. 'you had me scared for a little bit their mate'

Thomas was stood at the foot of the bed, he chatted to the girls and Gran, and told Siobhan he would pick her up in the morning for counselling and not to be scared. He then suggested they and gran go and see the baby before going home. Gran said that was a great idea. They said their goodbyes to Patrick and their mum and off they went. Gran didn't speak to me. Thomas walked over to Patrick and give him a kiss, telling him how much he loved him and he would be back later to see him and would show him some pictures of his new little brother. Thomas then placed his hands-on Chloe's shoulders as she was sat down and kissed the top of her head, 'il pop back in a bit if you need me I will only be in maternity ok.' She looked up at him and smiled.

I could sense Chloe knew something was wrong, but she hadn't said anything. I took a sip of my coffee and then Patrick asked if he could watch The Batman Lego movie, so I opened it up for him and hit play. Chloe was sat around the other side of the bed and I could feel her looking at me as she held Patricks hand.

'Bec, you and Grace ok? she just seemed a little frosty with you?'

I watched Chlo as she was running her fingers though Patricks hair, which was clearly making him sleepy as his eyes began to close.

'Yeah, we are fine, just a misunderstanding that's all. All sorted now though.' I smiled at her, 'I brought you a drink too, though it may not be very warm now, do you want a fresh one?'

'No thank you, but I could do with a hug if you have any on offer?'

I stood up and walked towards her, she stood up too and I placed my hands on her hips as she leaned in and kissed me, gently. 'I am so glad you are here, I couldn't do any of this without you. Thank you for my bath before too, it was beautiful even if it didn't fully go to plan. I know that Thomas being around must be driving you mad, but I just wanted to thank you for the way you have been with him, not sure I could of coped if you had of been all gung hoe jealous with me about him.'

With that I knew Grans slap had been worthwhile, I had been a dick before, Chlo leaned in and kissed me for a little longer, then pulled away and rested her forehead on mine. 'I cannot wait to get everybody home and then we can just have a chilled-out time and my god do I want to take you on a date, I have missed you, and I know you have to go to Dublin in the next few days, right?'

I started laughing 'Too right you can' and gave her a wink. 'yeah, I do but I will be back at Grans every evening, no way I am staying there when Patrick is in hospital, I mean even if me and you only get to have a few hours together in the evening, I want to be here for you.' Chloe sat back down and pulled me on to her lap, wrapping her arms around me. 'I love you'

Well it had been 4 weeks since Patricks accident and we had such a routine going, it was quite funny. Me and Chloe had not been able to spend that much time together. The girls obviously had not been staying with Thomas due to Riley still being in hospital. Thomas, Chloe, Rachel, Me and Gran along with Thomas's parents were all in a routine to support each other and to make sure not too much of a disruption was had. Patrick was still in hospital, however he loved the nurses and so Chloe or Thomas didn't sleep at the hospital anymore. Chloe would take Siobhan to school and Niamh to nursery. She would then go to the hospital to Patrick. Then between me, and Gran Siobhan and Niamh were picked up in the afternoon and would come and visit Patrick and Riley. Chloe would then bring them home and Gran would cook tea and then I would get back around 10pm at night and most of the time everybody was fast asleep. Siobhan's counselling sessions had been going well. Thomas and her appeared to becoming closer, however I still got a bit of a cold shoulder from her from time to time but I didn't mind so much, she had been through so much at such a young age I would have been frosty too.

Work had been so busy, the little mix girls had been fantastic though. They even came to visit Patrick and some of the other children at the hospital, I don't think I have ever seen a little boy smile so much. I didn't work Saturdays or Sundays and this weekend me and Chloe were going on a date. I could not wait it had been nearly 5 weeks since we had shared any time alone with each other and it was so needed I think at times just to being so tired we had just fallen in to this weird friend zone, and wanted to definitely climb out of that!.

I was driving home when my phone went off. 'hey Gran, everything ok?'

'yes everything is great, William and I have just booked a cruise, we are going in 3 weeks, just wanted to let you know as I am away for 99 days, we are going around the world. Alex will be over here, for about 8weeks and you should have finished with the Little Mix girls by then I checked everything out so don't panic.'

'Alex as in Alex Alex? My Alex? And 99 fucking days what on earth, Gran they cost a bomb' Gran was laughing.

'yes your Alex, I know you have been talking to him about many things and so he rang me and we talked and then before you know it he booked a flight. William knew how desperate I was for a break so we used some money we had saved up'

'oh that is going to be cool having Alex about! However I am going to miss you! And around the bloody world who do you think you two are. I am just jealous really.'

Gran laughed, 'well I heard Chloe talking about holidays the other day maybe a trip in autumn to Disneyland Paris would be nice for you and the children?'

'Great idea, I will speak to her about it later, we have date night right. You and William still ok to have the girls?'

'Yes we are, in fact Thomas's parents said they will pick the girls up from s tomorrow morning and taken them school and nursery on Monday so why don't you and Chloe have the weekend in Dublin at your place. You can facetime Patrick, he says its cool by the way'

I was laughing, 'Gran that would be amazing it has been so long since we had any time together, I will head to my apartment now and set it all up for the weekend, could you get Chloe to pack a bag and I will pick her up in about 2hours?'

'I will go one better I will drop her off with you about 7pm?

'awesome, thanks gran'

'well go and sort everything out and have a wonderful weekend.'

I put the phone down and hit play on my mp3 player, the weather was sunny today and there felt a change in the air. This was helped by 'She looks perfect' by 5 seconds of summer playing through my speakers, it made me smile thinking about Chloe and just having that time with her and how utterly beautiful she was.'

We had been told Patrick was making great progress and was hopefully going to be allowed home in the next 10 days he would have crutches and have intense physio to build his muscles back up. I had signed him up for swimming too, I told him me and him would go every other day to help with his physio. So just having him home was really going to help get the feel of everything back to normal, whatever normal was.

I had a thought, and with a huge smile on face headed into my Apartment.

Beca had messaged me saying we had the whole weekend together and that Grace would drop me off at Beca's so I didn't need to take my car, I couldn't wait. I had been told to be at home by 4pm so I knew Beca had a plan I just wasn't sure what it was. However I was super excited.

I arrived home at 4pm and poured a glass of wine, the doorbell rang.

'hiya are you Chloe?'

'erm yes can I help?'

'Bea sent us, we work with the Little Mix girls, she said to give you this'

The girl handed me a card,

Chlo,

I know how awful the past few months have been and how you selfishly always make sure everybody is ok, even when you are utterly exhausted. I know how much you want to get your hair done and haven't had the chance so, I called in a favour with the girls and so Mel is going to fix up your hair to the way you want it, Claire is going to sort your make up out and I figured, if we were going out then there is always an excuse for new underwear and a dress right? Oh, and shoes.

Don't call me or txt me, I will be waiting for you at Sophie's at The Dean, 7pm don't be late!

All my love Beca, xxx

Mel stepped forward, 'oh and these are for you too.' She handed me three yellow sunflowers. I had such a smile on my face,

'erm sorry girls come in, erm do you want a drink while I take this bag upstairs and erm grab a quick shower?'

Both girls declined a drink and said they would organise what they needed too while I was in the shower.

I jumped in the shower and when I got out I undid the bag that Beca had given to the girls, I loved the black lace bustier she had bought it was beautiful, I took a picture before placing my robe on as I walked down the stairs I sent the picture I had taken to Beca, 'I thought maybe one photo?' I smirked to myself.

I had been around the city like a mad woman before Mel and Claire had turned up ad I sent them on their merry way. I couldn't wait to see Chloe, I had ju st finished cleaning up and I put a playlist on while I decided what to wear. I couldn't wait to see Chlo in the dress I bought her, I hoped she liked it.

I jumped in the shower and placed a towel around me, I noticed I had a message from Chlo. Shit I hope she is ok.

I opened it and I swear my jaw dropped. WOW did my girlfriend look hot in that. I bit my lip, maybe tonight we would move back out of the friendzone! I had a pretty big smile. There was no way I was responding, I said no messages. I laughed to myself as I hit play on my music while I got ready.

I let my hair fall naturally and I threw on some black smart trousers, an electric blue shirt and a black jacket and some black strapped heels. Some subtle make up and grabbed my purse on the way out. I jumped a taxi, walked into Sophie's and stood outside. I checked for time I had a few minutes. I had managed to bag some tickets to watch a group called the accidentals, Gran's car came around the corner and it was like I had a whole load of fireworks going off in my stomach.

She stepped out of the car after thanking Gran. She looked amazing. She was wearing the dress I picked out, it was just above the knee in length, black with lace pattern and black lace for sleeves. Her hair was down, and she had back strap heels too, she was wearing bright red lipstick and I lost total concentration.

'Rebeca, you have some drool there,'

'what? what did you say gran' I managed to get out as I snapped from my gaze.

Her and Chloe were laughing at me, 'enjoy yourselves girls!'

Gran drove off and I turned to Chloe. 'Hey, you erm look, like wow, erm beautiful.'

Chloe leant in and kissed me on the cheek, 'hey to you too, you couldn't look any more perfect if you tried by the way' she winked at me and I nearly combusted.

She linked my arm 'so we have reservations yes?'

I couldn't believe how beautiful Beca looked tonight, I mean I always thought she looked stunning and obviously I had done the odd google search after the whole GQ photo stuff, and I knew that as stunning as she looked in those, the girl I fell in love with wasn't that Beca, tonight however she just oozed sex appeal. We had several cocktails, shared food and we were very touchy feely, we played with one another's hands, there were winks, seductive looks and the odd lip bite.

It was like we were in this little Chloe and Beca bubble, I had missed this. I had spent so much time being mum, ex-wife, and ex-daughter in law I sort of forgot who I was and tonight I felt like me, Chloe.

'Come on, we have some music to listen too'

Me and Beca started the short work to Whelan's where The Accidentals were playing. We were a little over dressed but who cares. We walked in and headed upstairs. There was this like wooden bar all around the balcony upstairs lit with tea light candles and we sat down over looking the stage, it was perfect. Chloe had got us a few whiskeys as she sat down she leant into me and we shared a very intimate kiss it was like nobody else was with us. I could taste the Jameson's on her lips. 'I love you, so much Chlo' she looked across 'love you more Mitchell' I took my drink and turned to her smiling 'doubtful'

The accidentals were amazing, and Chloe really liked them too, they were about to finish their set and Chloe ran her hand across my thigh and lent into me, whispering in my ear 'Beca, I want you to take me home' I looked into her eyes, trying to read what was going on. 'Chlo, everything ok?'

'yeah everything is more than ok, but I really want you to myself, without these people around'

'Oh right yeah ok, I am on it.'

We stood up, walked down the stairs and out into the night air, Beca took my hand and we hollered a taxi, the air did not help with the amount of alcohol we had drank, and I found myself laughing at things that were not even funny.

We arrived back at my apartment, Chloe walked off to the bathroom while I grabbed some drinks, she walked out no longer wearing her dress, she picked up her glass of champagne, walked towards me. She took my glass out of my hand and placed it on the kitchen side. I don't know why but I began to giggle like a school child.

Chloe leaned towards me and kissed me, pulling back and biting down gently on my lip as she did so. 'what's funny Mitchell? Care t share' she winked at me. She pushed my back into the kitchen side, and I couldn't help but look her up and down, the underwear I bought was looking so hot on her and before I knew it she was kissing me on my neck and working her way down towards my collar bone I couldn't help but let a moan escape my lips it had been quite sometime since we had slept together or even had any kind of intimate moment not that I was complaining however I knew that I was desperate to feel her touch. 'Chlo, if you are going to continue doing that I think we need to go to my room' with that I swallowed hard.

Chloe pulled away she looked straight in to my eyes and before I knew it she had picked me up and I now found myself sat on the kitchen side with her stood between my legs, she pushed me back a little more. 'what if going to your room is just wasting too much time and what if I want you right here.'

I bit my lip and before I knew it Chloe had removed my trousers and, had her tongue exactly where I needed it. I genuinely could feel my eyes roll in my head form how hot this was. My hands were on her shoulders and my nails scraping the surface of her skin, the closer I came to calling her name the deeper my nails dug into her leaving marks. 'Chlo I need to feel you inside me' with that she looked up at me and moved her head away from where I needed her, instantly I missed the contact. 'Chlo don't stop what the fuck'

She placed her hands on my hips and pulled me off the side as she turned me around, so she was stood behind me. 'Beca, shut up' I started laughing as she pushed me forward and I was slightly bent over, with that I felt her run her fingers along where her tongue had just been. 'fuck' I said as I felt her place two fingers inside me from behind and within moments I could feel myself about to come. Chloe's pace picked up and she whispered into my ear 'come for me Beca I want to feel you on me' she then gently bit my ear lobe and that was enough, I came so hard, Chloe continued with her rhythm until I had ridden my orgasm out, as she removed her fingers she used her other hand to place my fallen hair behind my ear.

She pulled me up and turned me around and we shared a passionate kiss. I ran my hands down her body feeling the material of her underwear. 'you look so hot' she giggled. I continued to kiss Chloe along her shoulder and I moved her towards the sofa and gently pushed her backwards, so she fell on to it without it coming as such a surprise. As I removed her underwear I was conscious that I just wanted to take everything chloe in, it felt so like son long since I saw her like this, I stood between her legs and straddled her. Chloe was always a little more forward than me in the bedroom as I could still be quite shy, she knew this and everything between us had become very heated on the sofa, 'Bec, seriously I haven't felt you for near six weeks and if you don't fuck me in the next few moments I swear I am going to combust' I knew how badly Chloe needed that but I had other ideas and I placed my tongue between her thighs, she moved her hips in rhythm with my tongue and I felt her hands in my hair pushing down I could feel she was on the edge by how she was gripping my hair tighter and by the way she was moving her hips up and down faster. Within a few moments she placed her hand on the back of my head and pressed my head closer so the pressure of my mouth on her caused her to come undone. I teased her by running my hands down from her breasts and to her hips before taking one last run of my tongue through her and laughing as I peppered her stomach in soft kisses.

She was laughing as I did so and as we come face to face she kissed me slowly and was smirking as she did and bit my lip. 'God, I missed you Bec, that was pretty intense'

'I couldn't agree more, you are coming for a shower' I kissed her quick on the cheek and walked off, taking my glass of champagne with me.

To say we didn't get much sleep would be a lie. It was gone 4am when we finally fell asleep and I woke up around 10am. Beca was fast asleep and she looked so perfect. As I traced patterns on her back hoping she would wake up I couldn't believe how lucky I was. I thought about once her work was finished and when Patrick would be home and how it would feel back to normal. I knew Siobhan was still a little hostile, but she wasn't as up and down emotionally anymore and adored spending time visiting Riley with Niamh. I was so grateful for Patrick being on the way back to full health. I was having to decided about going back to college to become a midwife or to wait until Niamh is in full time school.

I didn't want Beca to live at her Grans or here I wanted her at home. Beca began to stir. 'what you looking at me like that for? And what do you want?' she winked at me.

I started to giggle as I snuggled into her side and kissed her shoulder. 'well I was thinking about the house. The money that I have for university from the sale of the house is all saved and I still have alot of money left over so I was thinking about having the place re-decorated before Patrick comes home, what do you think? and can sort Siobhan's tree house out too. We could stay at Grace's while she is away and then maybe erm when your work here is finished you could.'

'Chloe, I am not building a fucking tree house I can't even complete a jigsaw so sorry just pay to somebody to sort it out.'

'you idiot I didn't even mention you doing that, I wondered if you would move in with me, I mean us,a new chapter as a family when Patrick comes home, give everybody a chance to start a fresh. If you think it is too soon that that's ok too'

'oh, that sounds much better than me building a tree house' I started laughing 'Bec at times you really need to just wait before opening your mouth.' With that she kissed me 'I love you so much'

'Love you more, you wore me out last night and I need pancakes and coffee, so hit the kitchen' with that she pulled the covers off me. 'If I am up, then so are you'

Chlo walked away, I could hear her muttering to herself in the kitchen. I lay there staring at the ceiling thinking about how crazy it is that I now I have a family.


	30. Chapter 31

I was stood in the kitchen thinking how I was going to make pancakes…No flour, no egg…great. I made coffee and was leaning back against the kitchen side just having a moment. My life over the last few months had changed so much I mean what the hell I just asked my girlfriend I mean Girlfriend to move in with me and the children. What on earth. It had all happened so fast, but it felt so right.

'what are you thinking about?'

Beca walked up to me and picked her coffee up, she looked super cute. Red and black plaid pjs bottoms and a grey tee. He hair was down and a little crazy. 'erm mainly about how you expect pancakes when we have nothing to make them.' I smiled at her, 'yeah I am sure that required such deep thought, get dressed and let's go get breakfast, should we go to the mountains for a walk and then tonight head out for some drinks and come tomorrow we can just do nothing.'

It had been ages since I had done any hiking and I missed it, 'sure, sounds good, do me a favour, if I throw something to wear out will you iron it for me?'

'well it all depends you see,'

'shut it Mitchell you had more than your share of depends rewards last night, get ironing.'

With that she walked away with a wink.

Chlo walked back in totally naked and chucked some black skinny jeans, a black polar neck jumper out at me.

'woahhhh you can't do things like that, do we need breakfast or can we just stay in bed?'

All I heard was a laugh coming from the bathroom.

After completing my ironing duties, I walked into the bathroom as Chlo was walking out.

She had her phone on blasting out 'Your Domino' by Jessie Ware, she was singing along as she applied moisturiser.

I stood in the door way watching her. My stomach flipped more than once knowing this girl was my girlfriend. I mean I had a girlfriend. 'I can feel you watching me Mitchell'

I smiled, and my eyes caught hers 'I'll be your domino,'

'you already are, now go get a shower'

'yeah I am' as I punched the air. I could hear clo laughing.

While I stood in the shower I was thinking about moving in with Chloe, and I was a little nervous about it, I mean I wanted it, so badly, but I was so nervous that I might not cope or that i might not be good enough or I might not be there often enough, argh. I needed to think about work too, I mean working out of Dublin at the minute was ok, however I would need to be in LA and possibly London, it would mean I wasn't always home. I wanted to talk to her about it but I didn't want her to think that I didn't want it and that I was putting barriers up. I wasn't.

'omg Bec how long seriously.'

'Shit, sorry I was thinking about stuff, I'll be out in a sec'

I sat on the sofa waiting for Bec, I had brushed my hair back and tied it up, I took a sip of my water, as my mind raced away. What if Beca was thinking this was all too much, what if moving in with us is too much and she feels pressured. I knew I should have left it. I began to feel a little anxious.

Beca came stumbling out of the bedroom one boot on one off, the brightest yellow socks you have ever seen, she had some navy jeans on and a grey long jumper which had navy slashes across it. Her hair was down and she looked super cute. 'why can I only ever find one shoe? I swear there is shoe thieves in this place'

She had the place upside down 'ahhh ha, there we go I found you! Clo could you grab me my long grey wool coat please its in my room, thanks'

I walked in to the bedroom to utter destruction and laughed to myself my god this will not be happening in our room. Before I could say anything Beca shouted through 'I will clean up when we get back'

I smiled to myself, I turned around to see her leaning against the door frame.

'ready'

'here you, and too right you'll tidy that up when we get back!'

'yeah yeah shut up and get out of here'

It was about an hour drive to the Wicklow mountains; the weather was being generous. It was hitting spring; the sunshine was beautiful however it was still a little cold. Chloe oversaw the music as always, we had stopped at a service and picked up coffee and some granola bars, no pancakes today after all. The drive had been quite quiet. It was nice to know that we could have that happy silence and just take in the drive and music. Chlo had chosen the Ps I love you soundtrack to play in the car, it was very cute how much she not only loved the movie but adored the soundtrack. However, she had told me numerous times the book is the best and has been telling me to read it, of course I haven't yet, I swear she will read it too me soon. Obsessed.

To be honest as I drove along it was beautiful soundtrack, the countryside we were now seeing out of the city was stunning. 'Becs, I have been thinking and I just wanted to thank you, I mean you turned up here to spend time with your gran and to relax and instead you ended up with such a crazy time and I just hope that me and the kids and all our drama hasn't spoilt that time you wanted for yourself.'

I didn't reply. It wasn't because I didn't want to I was just looking for somewhere to pull over, so I could look at Chlo while I talked. I could see my none response was having an effect.

So without warning I hit my hazards on the car and pulled over with a jolt. 'Jesus Beca'

'Chlo, get out the car,'

'What the fuck, what out of the car why'

'just get out of the damn car will you'

I did just as Beca said and I had no idea what was going on. Before I knew it Beca's lips were on mine and passionately. She pulled away her hands grabbing either side of my jacket lapels. She was looking deep into my eyes 'Chloe, I love you, I love Siobhan, Patrick and Niamh. Did I expect this, not at all but my god, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I mean, you blow me away in every sense of the word. Am I scared? Yes, so much. I don't want to let you down, I am frightened that when we live together I might not be enough and that the times when my work takes me away I wont always be there, can I imagine not having you around, no, I need you but more than that I want you, and I don't care if this is all crazy fast, I know what I feel and fuck, I have never felt anything like this.' I smiled at her, Chloe had tears in her eyes 'Don't cry, you have no need, you have cried enough, we are equals me and you, I will never expect anything of you, except for you to be honest with me. So next weekend we will organise the house and I will sort decorators out and we can get the kids involved and make it all ours.'

I stood in awe of this beautiful girl in front of me this amazing little snarly American, but she is my little snarly American. She stood looking up at me, as I looked down to her, 'Bec, I am super lucky, but next time you want to declare your feelings, do you need to hit the break so fast and order me on to the roadside, god you can be extreme' She started laughing so bad, as did I and we shared a gentle kiss, even got a beep from a passing car. 'romance at its best hey babe' Chloe looked at me and bit her lip 'totes, now come on we have a hike to do and I want to take some photographs'

I jumped back in the car and Chloe was messing with her phone, before I could say anything 'wild one' by Flo Rida came through the speakers. I shook my head. 'hey I heard you were a wild one…'

I started laughing as Chloe sang and car danced along. She had her water bottle and kept placing it front of me so I could sing along… My heart melted.

'Oh dear god no, not this song Chlo' she looked across at me 'Becs you know you love it,' she winked and started to sing 'I like the way you, look at me with those beautiful eyes,  
I like the way you, act all surprised,  
I like the way you, sing along,  
I like the way you, always get it wrong,  
I like the way you, clap your hands,  
I like the way you, love to dance,  
I like the way you, put your hands up in the air,  
I like the way you, shake your hair,  
I like the way you, like to touch,  
I like the way you, stare so much,  
but most of all...  
Yeah.  
most of all...

Come on Beca' she gave me such seductive looks and bit her lip 'Nope chlo'

'Not even if tonight I promise to'

'We are here Clo,' I leaned across smirking and kissed Chloe on the cheek before getting out of the car.

We spent about two hours walking around the national park, Chlo was having a blast taking photos and it was just nice to see her so care free, and for me just to have sometime away from a laptop and my phone was a tonic. It was about 3pm and we decided to head back to the car.

'so where we off tonight? And what shall I wear?'

I looked across the top of the car as I opened the car door 'erm nowhere and nothing'

Chloe rolled her eyes. 'Thank you for a lovely time out here Becs, I had so much fun, actually felt like me, first time in some time I can tell you.'

'I could tell it was nice to see you so relaxed. I figured we could just hit pubs tonight, throw some smart casual clothes on and be tourists, what you think?'

Chloe took my hand 'sounds perfect'

I drove back and just as on the way there Chloe was taking part in her own Carpool karaoke.

'Youuuuuu make me feel like I am living a teenage dream…the way you turn me on, I can't sleep.'

'babe if Katy could see you right now she would be like Beca who is that girl' Chloe gave me dagger eyes 'whatever she would be more like rock it out sister' and started laughing. 'actually, you are probably right, she is pretty awesome'

'name dropping, are we?' Chlo winked at me, 'erm no, if I was name dropping I go all Beyoncé on you'

'in your dreams Bec, she is like the queen of all queens'

'yeah, I know, she is super lovely, I have met her about 5 or 6 times, she is so down to earth.'

For the first time all day Chloe was completely silent. The she turned and looked at me 'you have met Beyoncé like 5 times?'

'yep'

'fuck off'

I couldn't help but laugh. When we get back I'll show you my pictures.'

'next thing you will be telling me you produced a track of hers.'

'well I didn't produce a track, but I got to be in the studio with her when she recorded best thing I never had.'

'really?'

'yep, it was amazing'

'you are like super well known, aren't you? Like way more than you make out?'

I always got quite shy about this stuff, because to me these people were just people who I worked with or supported not the big artists everybody sees them as.

'not really, I worked hard and then as the years went by I realised I just wasn't happy in my marriage especially after I lost the baby. So I would spend most of my time working, it made everything easier as then I wouldn't have to admit there were issues. However due to all the work I was doing people became aware of who I was in the industry and it just went from there. I made some decent money in that period and was quite sensible with it. So now I get to sort of pick and choose who I want to work with.'

'that's amazing, and yet here you are with some American/Irish housewife and her three children.'

'yeah and I wouldn't want it any other way. LA is LA and it is great for work but its fake Chlo.'

The mood changed a little in the car. She went very quiet.

'Babe, you ok?'

'Yeah, I am grand, LA is a wonderful place, well the little bits I saw' she spoke in a low tone, and I knew something was on her mind. I didn't want t to push it, so I turned the music up.

I sat in the car and listening to how successful Beca was made me realise what she was giving up, I mean what on earth did she see in me, I wasn't questioning her love for me, but why me when she can have somebody in LA who is just as successful, and won't have any of the messing about like what I give her, I mean those girls are flawless, why do I feel like this, its so stupid, the poor girl is getting the quiet treatment and earlier today I couldn't of been given more reassurance if she had of tried. Often, I hate my mind.

We arrived back at Bec's apartment. I went to call the children I hated not seeing them every day. Beca stayed in the kitchen, god I was being so shit to her.

I sat down on the sofa with a coffee, Chloe had gone to skype the kids. I picked my phone up and started to send a message to Thomas, god I disliked this guy but he knew Chloe better than I did.

Hey Thomas, erm kinda need some advice, chloe advice. Can you help me out. Beca.

Within a few minutes my phone was flashing up that Thomas was calling, I picked it up and took it outside.

'Hey Beca, Clo ok?'

'yeah yeah she is fine its just she found out today that I have worked with some high profiled artists and since then she had gone really quiet and I cant read her, like well enough yet to know what's going on.'

'it will be self-esteem. Chlo has never had any, and in fairness to her I didn't help with that at all. She will no doubt be thinking why are you with her and not some super beautiful artist or celeb.'

'She is hot as fuck though, why would she think that, jesus'

'It stems from her mum and the things she said when she was younger, and obviously me behaving like a dick and cheating on her never helped. 'erm ok thanks Tom, il go speak with her now'

I put the phone down as I didn't need to go in to anything else with him.

I walked into the bedroom and Chlo was sat on the bed talking to Siobhan. I looked at her, 'hey erm when your finished can you come find me.'

She nodded. A few moments later she walked into the living area.

'Hey, come sit here.'

Chloe sat down next to me on the sofa, she looked so beautiful. I moved closer to her and placed my hands in hers, 'what I am about to tell you is 100% true, ok and I don't want you to question any of it I want you to understand it is the truth.' She nodded 'Chlo, I love you. I love you for just being you. I love you for your crazy morning hair, your love for super girlie pjs, how bright blue your eyes are, see this scar here, I don't even know how you got it but I love it. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, so much so I fell for you. You see this amazing six pack here on you and this bit of flesh here that you try to hide all the time from me, I love it, in fact I love that part of your tummy more than anything else, you know why…because it is a constant reminder of where your children came from and how much you loved and looked after them before they even arrived. Your muscles have me in a spin and as for your smile, my god it kills me every time.

You could put all the women in all the world in front of me and I would pick you without hesitation every single time.'

Chloe was crying, 'now look, we can't keep doing this with each other ok, I do not want anybody else, you are not holding me back, you are not losing me and I don't want anybody from LA. So from now on, I don't want any more of this, in those moment where you are feeling like that tell me and trust that I am not going to go away or want somebody else.' Before I got chance to kiss her she pushed me back onto the sofa and kissed me passionately. 'Beca, I am so sorry, so sorry for getting all stressed out and…' I kissed her and pulled away 'babe shut up and..' she cut me off by kissing me. She was now straddling me and I was looking up at her as she removed her jumper, she had a black lace bra that just had me drooling. I ran my hands down her sides and rested them on her hips. I leant forward but she pushed me back down. She undid the button to her jeans and moved her zip down, she took my left hand in hers and placed it exactly where she wanted it. She bent down and whispered in my ear 'babe, I need you now, no teasing I just need you to make me come, an then I want you to make love to me.' Like I was going to argue with that. I felt shivers travel down my body. I ran my two fingers up and down Chloe before pushing them inside her, as I did so she let out a low moan and pushed herself into me more on the sofa to create more friction. I moved my fingers in and out of her in a frantic motion and she continued to push down onto me. She wasn't even touching me but the movement and friction from her on top of me had me ready to burst, I think she knew as she bent down and kissed me while biting my lip 'bec don't stop I'm going to come and with that I could feel chloe orgasm hard, the noise she made caused me to push into her knee and I came too. I removed my fingers from her and chloe was utterly breathless. She climbed off me and took my hand pulling me from the sofa. 'bedroom Mitchell', I wasn't arguing.

On getting to my room she sat on the sofa and I walked over to my bathroom and opened the door to the cabinet. It had been a while since we had used any toys. 'What you doing, get in here' I smiled, 'chill out, will you I thought we could put this to good use.' Beca stood in the bathroom door way holding up a pair of girlie boxer shorts. 'a pair of shorts?' Beca looked at me and laughed, no not shorts, you can fit…'ahhh yeah I understand now' I walked over to beca and took them from her and closed the bathroom door. I placed the shorts on, I walked back out. I felt Beca's eyes on me, following me.

I pushed her back on the bed an made short work of removing her clothes, I hadn't ever been this in charge however I could wait to experience what it was going to be like to make love to Beca using this . Beca looked up at me, 'babe you sure you want to do this? You comfortable'

'Never been more comfortable in my life. Well for the next two hours Chloe and I certainly had fun and I had no idea how I was going to spend an evening walking around, but in a good, content wait.

I brought some drinks in for us an we were lying in bed.

'babe can I ask you something about your confidence?'

'erm yea sure' she replied tentatively

'well before you were really anxious and nervous, your self esteem had taken a beating by yourself and yet within moments you are confident as fuck, telling me how you wanted me,how?'

I looked at the ceiling, 'well I know what I can give you and my self esteem issues kick in when others are around, an the thought of you spending time with all these amazing hot women stresses me out but then you were just so sincere when you spoke with me that I knew, that I was enough for you, mean I am still scared you will, one day leave or not find me as attractive but I know that it is just coming from my head.'

'yeah it is, so basically you fucked me so I would know wat I would be missing?' she winked at me, 'pretty much'

'well for future reference, I'll let you fuck me anytime, anywhere'

'That a promise?' Chloe started laughing.

Right come on, you own me a few beers, and I am definitely ready for one.'

'yeah and you awe me some food'

We shared a shower and then got changed and hit the city. We were very close with each other, Beca was very tentative. I wish more people saw this Beca,

We walked into this bar, live music and so we took our coats off and settled in the corner. After a few drinks I found myself on stage holding my guitar, fuck. How did this happen. I did want to be stereotypical but I knew this was a favourite of Chloe's and I knew it would go down well, so I started playing the guitar….the band kicked in and before you knew it I was singing it loud and clear 'I took a stroll down the old long walk  
On a day-I-ay-I-ay  
I met a little girl and we stopped to talk  
On a grand soft day-I-ay-I-ay  
And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do?  
'Cause her hair was black and her eyes were blue  
And I knew right then I'd be takin' a whirl  
Down the Salthill Prom with a Galway girl

We were halfway there when the rain came down  
On the day-I-ay-I-ay  
And she asked me up to her flat downtown  
On a fine soft day-I-ay-I-ay  
And I ask you, friend, what's a fella to do?  
If her hair was black and her eyes were blue  
So I took her hand and I gave her a twirl  
And I lost my heart to a Galway girl  
So when I woke up I was all alone  
With a broken heart and a ticket home  
And I ask you, friend  
(And I ask you, friend)  
What's a fella to do?  
(What's a fella to do?)  
If her hair was black and her eyes were blue  
See, I've travelled around  
(See, I've travelled around)  
I've been all over the world  
(Been all over the world)  
I've never seen nothin' like a Galway girl

And I ask you, friend  
(And I ask you, friend)  
What's a fella to do?  
(What's a fella to do?)  
If her hair was black and her eyes were blue  
See, I've travelled around  
(See, I've travelled around)  
I've been all over the world  
(Been all over the world)  
I've never seen nothin' like a Galway girl

I got to the end of the track, the place was bouncing everyone cheered, and I made my way back down to my seat taking a sip of my Guinness, I was so embarrassed, Chloe leaned in a kissed me 'you were amazing, thank you, I love that song, it was so good look at this place bouncing because of you'

'Thanks, your turn.' I pointed over to the organiser holding the guitar out to her. 'erm Bec no way'

'go, now your audience are waiting.'

I took the guitar out of the guys hands and waited for everyone to settle.

I looked over at Beca, she was smiling and full of encouragement. While inside I was like FUCK

Chloe's American Irish accent started to fill the room,

'Oh my life, is changing everyday  
In every possible way  
And oh my dreams, it's never quite as it seems  
Never quite as it seems  
I know I've felt like this before, but now I'm feeling it even more  
Because it came from you  
And then I open up and see, the person falling here is me  
A different way to be

Ah, la da ah  
La da ah  
La, la

I want more, impossible to ignore  
Impossible to ignore  
And they'll come true, impossible not to do  
Impossible not to do  
And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me  
You're what I couldn't find  
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind  
You're everything to me

Oh my life, is changing everyday,  
In every possible way  
And oh my dreams, it's never quite as it seems  
Cause you're a dream to me  
Dream to me'

I sat watching Chloe as she lifted the roof off the place, that was it then she was taking requests for the next 4 songs she did some great covers of Dancing on My own, she sang the most amazing version of Damien Rice Volcano with a guy from the audience, her voice and his matched so well in harmony, none more so than when they performed Distance by Jason Mraz, I was so mesmerised when she sang that It made me see my girlfriend in such a different light, she needed to be doing this, people needed to hear her. The last song she sang was Sorry by Justin Bieber, her and this guy smashed it, i could see something magic before my eyes, I needed to get these guys in the studio their harmonies and chemistry as much as I disliked it was electric.

She sat down next to me, 'well Clo that is some reaction baby'

'I know they are all mad.' She had several drinks waiting for her that had been bought by guys in the pub.

I headed off to the bar and Shay the guy Chlo had been singing with was stood there. 'hey, your Chloe's partner right?'

'yeah lucky me right' he smiled 'she has some voice'

'yeah about that your harmony's with her are perfect, if you give me your number you fancy spending sometime with me and Chlo in the studio?'

'studio?'

'yeah I produce music, currently working with Little Mix, very different to this but you two have something'

'OMG yes that sounds amazing, can I get you a drink?'

'no its all good just your number I will call you Monday, need time to convince Chlo she needs to be recording! Enjoy your night'

I walked back to my table, in complete awe of my red head.


	31. Chapter 32

We spent a further hour or so in the bar, talking away and it was a fantastic evening. At a moment when our drinks ran empty, Chloe leaned over and placed her hand on my knee. 'Becs can we go, I am feeling a little tired.' I smiled at her and picked up our jackets.

I went to call a taxi as we stood outside, she took my phone off me. 'No taxi's, walk with me through the city'

'Babe its like 1am its dark, it's cold and….' She cut me off with such a gentle kiss. As we kissed i felt a smile across her lips. 'I love you Beca Mitchell' I smiled back and placed my left hand on her cheek, 'love you more' 'Doubtful Becs'

As we walked back to my apartment conversation turned to the children.

'how is Siobhan doing? I mean she doesn't interact with me as much as Patrick and Niamh but Is she ok? how are her sessions going? I just want to make sure before I move in with you that she is ok, I wouldn't like to cause her any more distress or upset.'

'yeah, she is doing very well babe, she has a diary that she writes in daily and she reads that when she is in her sessions and I really think as much of a mess as everything has been the one good thing has been those sessions and the interaction she has with Alex, he has been fantastic with her, it's funny how she struck up such a bond with him.'

'I know it is very cute, he said that she told him that she wished he was her big brother'

'awwwww no way bless her, I was thinking of when things settle down of taking her away for a few days, you wouldn't mind would you? I mean I will get Thomas to have Patrick and Niamh'

'omg no of course not I think that is a great idea, why don't you go stay in my place in LA and then you guys can just chill out and spend time together, Alex will be able to organise places for you to visit too, and Patrick and Niamh leave them with me, we will be fine, '

'That sounds amazing, thanks, she will love that so much'

'well it isn't about just us any of this, don't get me wrong having you all to myself is amazing however all of us being together that's pretty perfect to me.'

'on occasion Mitchell you are too cute,'

As we walked into the apartment I remembered what state I had left the bedroom in. So as Chlo headed to the kitchen to get some water I headed to the bedroom to pick everything up before she came in.

I heard her enter and within a few moments I felt her arms around my waist. I had put the shower on to run as I knew Chlo wouldn't go to bed without one especially if she had been in pubs and clubs. 'Showers on, so it should be warm enough for you' she kissed my neck before whispering 'come join me' she took my hand and led me to the bathroom.

We both began to undress the other. Chlo placed soft kisses along the bare skin of my collar bone as my hands snaked her hips. It wasn't about sex in that moment it was an intimacy about being together but it not being sexual. We stepped into the shower, we shared kisses and took time to watch and feel the warm water cascade over one another. On leaving the bathroom we threw towels around us and headed to our bed, we climbed in and kissed each other deeply.

We didn't make love or have passionate sex we didn't need too, it was about just being with the other.

Before long I sensed Chlo had fallen asleep as her breathing was deeper and before long I drifted off too. To say I was content was an understatement, and I genuinely could not wait to get back to what was going to be our home tomorrow.

I woke up to what sounded like a guitar, Becs side of the bed was empty and cold so she must have been up for a little while. I pulled myself out of bed and threw some pj bottoms on and one of Becs hoodies.

I walked into the living room to see her just strumming away, she looked like she was miles away.

I stood in the doorway not wanting to disturb her. 'I know you are there you creep and while you are nearest to the coffee machine il have one'

I started laughing 'you at times are nothing but cheeky do you know that?'

'obviously my cheek always shines through when you are near the kitchen and I am thirsty'

'what is your song anyway?'

'oh I just had a few lyrics and melodies running through my mind so thought id just get them down and see where they go, i was thinking what if we head back in the next hour, we can then start to call people about the house?'

'I think that sounds like a plan'

Clo walked over and snuggled into me on the sofa. We drank our coffee and looked at different room designs online. We were quite lucky as I was a little messy with clothes however everything else needed to be organised for me and Chlo had everything organised to within an inch of its life, so we knew that we wanted our home to be modern, clean and to have plenty of storage. I loved the snug she already had it was amazing and I enjoyed being out there so much the view was perfect too. Siobhan would have her tree house. Thomas had wanted to have a den, so we had seen one that was small enough to fit in the corner of the bottom of the garden, it was made from wood and had a little wooden ladder up into it along with a climbing rope at the front and Niamh we thought would love a little tepee. This meant that everyone had somewhere when they just wanted some space away from each other. This was probably more important for me and Siobhan than for anyone else.

Me and Beca were starting our journey back in the car we had ordered some items for the garden for the kids and it was cute seeing her get exciting about getting things sorted for them. As we drove back I sat listening to her sing along to the little mix tracks she had been producing, she wanted to see what I thought of them before signing them off as completed final cuts.

It was great to watch her seeing how intently those songs played through her mind as she drove.

I was pulled out of my daydream by my phone going it was Thomas.

'Hiya Thomas everything ok?'

'Hey Clo yeah everything is good kids are great just checking tomorrow I am still dropping them off at Grace's? and have you spoke to my mum or dad?'

'yeah drop them at Grace's il either be there or at home as I have some decorators coming out. An no haven't heard anything, they ok?'

I could tell from the way Thomas tone of voice something was playing on his mind.

'Thomas just spit it out'

'Mum received a facebook request' he paused. 'from your mum'

My blood ran cold, Beca placed her hand in mine and pulled over. She was looking intently at me.

'ok, did she accept?'

'Erm no she said there was no way she would add her but she wanted you to know as clearly she wants to get InTouch'

'ok that's cool, and I am not interested in anything that woman has to say at all, so she can try all she likes, its never going to happen, can you thank your mum for me for not adding her though'

'No prob Clo and if you want to talk I know these days I am normally the last person but if you do I am here.'

'thanks Thomas, I am fine though, cheers for letting me know and il see you tomorrow.'

With that I put the phone down a looked at Beca. 'how come you pulled over babe?'

'I thought something was wrong, you ok?'

'oh yeah just some idiot people trying to befriend Thomas's family on Facebook that's all, nothing to worry about, come on let's get home.' With that I leant over and kissed Beca on the cheek. I knew she didn't believe the bullshit I just spoken but I knew she knew better than to push the subject.

I knew Chlo wasn't telling me the truth, but I most certainly wasn't going to push whatever it was. She would tell me when she was ready. I just didn't want any more drama.

We arrived home and began moving things around from chlo's to grans in preparation for decorators and we boxed off lists for what was needed in each room, before even noticing it was 8pm. Beca walked into the snug with two beers. 'Oi bright eyes take this, and grab a seat, pizza is arriving in 10mins, want to watch a movie?'

I took a mouthful of my beer 'in fact do you mind if I have a bath and grab some pizza in a bit, just aching from moving everything round.' I walked towards the stairs 'yeah babe no worries, gimme a shout if you want a massage or anything'

'Will do'

I had recorded some of Chlo signing last night and Instead of picking a film I sat and watched them back on my phone. I sent a message to Shay asking him to meet me at the studio tomorrow, I wanted to see what his voice recorded well.

Chlo's phone started ringing with Thomas flashing up. I swiped it up, it was a video whatsapp. All I could see was Niamh face, 'beca, beca beca..' I started laughing she was too cute. 'hey little one you ok? mummy is in the bath do you want me to get her?' she started shaking her head. I wanted you, I made you a picture look. She held up this picture which had two people on it, and a fire and something I couldn't make out. 'Niamh that is amazing beautiful' 'it s me and you in the snug with pizza for our tea.' I genuinely think my heart melted. 'Oh well when you get home tomorrow should me and your make pizzas?' all I heard before Niamh could respond was Patrick 'I want pizza too Becs'

'alright mate no worries, well give your order to Niamh tonight and she can pass it on to me tomorrow, you can be my assistant chef Niamh.' Before I knew it all three kids were in on the conversation they were telling me what they had been doing and it was such a cool video call.

I heard Chlo appear and a massive shout of mummy could be heard, she winked at me as I stood up to answer the door for our food.

'Right guys its past your bedtime and you have school tomorrow so massive kisses and have good dreams mummy loves you all millions and I cannot wait to see you all tomorrow'

With that I walked over 'night guys!' Niamh was smirking so much 'love you Beca' came through the speaker and I felt this rush of blood it was so amazing to hear that. 'love you too little one.'

With that the phone went down and I went to cut the pizza up. Before I had chance Chloe grabbed my hand, 'pizza can wait' she walked over to the sofa and pushed me backwards. She straddled me and was kissing me passionately 'babe' she bit on my lip 'beca seriously as of tomorrow these moment will be few and far between, and with your gran away babysitters will be down and so will you just'..I ran my hands down her stomach and before I had chance she had removed her own pj top and thrown it to the floor. This was not a moment for admiring Chlo's body she didn't want that she wanted to feel me and she wanted that right now, I have no idea what changed her mood but i didn't care, 'chlo tell me what you want' she bit down on the side of my neck and whispered into my ear 'you to take me on this sofa now, I want to feel your tongue on me' I swallowed hard. I didn't need any other invitation. I placed my hands on her hips and moved her so she was now lying on the sofa I pulled her shorts and ran my tongue across her stomach and the inside of her legs, I could feel her hands in my hair entangled. I ran my tongue up and down the front of her lace underwear and moved it to one side the noise I heard coming from chlo as my tongue contacted her clit was enough to know this was not going to take long.


	32. Chapter 33

I woke up with my arms wrapped around Chloe on the sofa, I don't think I will ever tire of how good this feels. I watched her sleep for a little while, watching her chest move up and down with each intake and release of breath. I could watch it forever.

I was brought out of my daze by a loud knock at the door. 'Chlo, baby the decorators are here and as hot as you are lying naked under this blanket I erm think you might want to get dressed'

I gave her a wink as I threw my t-shirt on and pulled my sweatpants on.

'I love sweatpants on you Mitchell' she shouted while flashing her sly smile my way.

Chloe wrapped herself in the throw and walked up to her room to change.

As I walked towards the door, I smiled to myself, wow this house was about to become my home, I was about to have a family, that was a feeling I didn't think I would ever feel, a New Chapter in my life was just about to begin.

It was about 3.30pm and I was stood over seeing the decorators I had everything planned in my head how I wanted it to look. Beca had gone to the studio about 3 hours ago and was doing her best to convince me to go with her but I wanted to make sure everything went to plan with these guys. I wanted our home to be perfect down to the smallest of detail. I had the drawings and plans printed in a file and was consistently checking everything was right. So much so I completely forgot Thomas was dropping the kids off. The front door opened and all I could hear was Niamh singing at the top of her voice to 'think of the happiest things, it's the same as having wings…' Then I heard Patrick 'niamh shut up, or sing something else' followed by Siobhan 'Patrick you shut up or I will start singing let it go' as that left her mouth Niamh let out a Scream 'frozen…siobhan can we watch it please please please.' I heard Siobhan laughing before Patrick 'oh nice one Siobhan she will have that on all the time now'

'Guys come on out the door way lets go find mum, don't take your shoes off as Mum is taking you next door, Chlo you here' I stood up and walked to the hallway and was engulfed by Niamh and Siobhan while Patrick stayed on his crutches. I walked over to him and gave him a big hug and kiss.

'cheers for picking them up Thomas, I will be glad when all of this is done.'

'no worries, I remember all the hassle it was when we were doing it up ourselves, so I don't envy you.' he looked at me with a little sadness in his eyes. I knew why he was feeling that 'yeah like I could forget, we had a laugh didn't we, well at times' I smiled at him 'right kids I am off, I will see you Friday' with that he gave them all kisses and off he went.

'right guys come on, next door. Siobhan baby will you watch Niamh while I walk with Patrick here is the key.'

'how you doing my brave boy?' I placed my hand on his shoulder. 'I am god mum; do you think at my next appointment I will be able to not have these crutches? And will Beca take me swimming this week? I like going with dad but Beca is more fun.' I smiled at him, 'is that so, she is pretty busy this week but ask her when she gets in, and well you are at hospital on thusday for a review so lets see, when you get signed off from hospital I think we should have a party? What do you think?'

He turned and looked at me and practically shouted with excitement 'really mum a party? Where?'

My heart melted at his response the way he had dealt with everything that was thrown at him from that accident he had to grow up a little faster than I wanted him too, however for a moment there was my little boy. 'you can have it wherever you like' with that he hobbled through the front door and shouted at the top of his voice 'Siobhan, Niamh I am having a party and I can have it wherever I want mum said.' All I heard from Niamh was 'yes! Mum can I get fancy dress?' well lets just get in first and get our uniforms off and have a wash and then we can talk all things party. Siobhan you have any homework tonight?'

'yeah mum but it is just to read a chapter of this book and then to write about it. So, if I do it now can we watch a film together when Niamh goes to bed?'

'of course, we can, that sounds perfect.' With that Siobhan went upstairs her and Niamh were sharing, and Patrick was in Graces room. Although he had stairs to get to his makeshift room the physio team had said that that so long as he took his time, had rails and that I supported him I would be a great way to build his muscles, plus I think he loved the fact he could come down them on his backside more than anything.

I made the kids some snacks, I took Siobhan's up to her, Patrick was on his ipad in the living room and Niamh was drawing. As I walked into the living room I could hear my phone, it was Beca 'hey you on your way home?'

'Babe erm some woman has turned up here at the studio, she is erm claiming she is your mum, I have asked security to move her on but I thought I'd let you know, is there anything you want me to do, did you know she was coming?'

I was trying to process exactly what I had just heard out of Beca's mouth my mum. Like she even still used that to identify herself. Mum what a joke. 'Becs don't come home, she will follow and find out where I am and I don't want that I don't want her anywhere near here.'

'Baby I cant not come home I want to see the kids and you, look if she follows me we just ring the police ok?'

'No Becs don't come home go to your apartment and I will come to the studio tomorrow. I need to figure out why now after all these years she thinks she can add people on fb and turn up at your work and want to get in touch with me, I will call you back in a minute' with that I hung up, walked to the back door and stepped out into the fresh air FUCK. My phone started ringing again it was Beca, I hung up for all 6 calls she made to me. I just needed to think.

I looked out of the window as I held my phone, there was this woman who was just an older version of Chloe stood there, she showed no signs of moving either. 'damn you chlo, answer you phone'

Perrie came out of the studio, 'hey Becs everything ok? that woman looked like she was on a mission'

I turned around and placed my phone in my jeans back pocket. 'yeah thanks, just families! Right we have about another 40minutes before you guys have to go right? Shall we do a quick review of the last few tracks before we finalise this?'

'sounds like a plan to me, quicker I get some food the better, plus I have a flight to catch tonight, so lets go'

With that we entered the booth and played the tracks back. Not that I could concentrate, I thought all this pushing away crap was over with, how many times we had done this to each other. I didn't care tonight I was going home to my family and we were going to deal with this together.

The girls left and me and the guys were leaving, I was in my car and as I drove out the gates this woman was still there she walked in front of my car. 'holy fuck lady' I put my window down 'I could of killed you are you mad?'

'No I am not mad, but I need to find Chloe please help me I know you two are some sort of couple though I am not sure how that happened'

'its called love, it doesn't have boundaries, and you would not know because you know nothing about Chloe, so why do you now after all these years do you feel the need to throw yourself in front of my car an plead to see her? Last time chloe spoke about you she pretty much made it clear that you were dead to her, now I know chloe and I know she snt that emotionally shut off, however what you did to her and have done ever since is unforgivable. She is your daughter she is half of you how do you just give up on that?'

'look Beca, I don't need a lecture I know I let my daughter down and I know I am a completely shit mum and..'

'grandma, your pretty shit at that role too, you have three amazing grandchildren you know and the saddest thing is they have no idea who you are.'

She went quiet and looked to the floor, playing with her hands. 'I know ok, I know. I am not asking for anything I just need to talk to her,please.'

I sighed and I knew Chloe would probably never speak to me if she knew what I was about to do. 'Get in the car, I am not taking you to our house, I am going to take you for coffee and you can tell me why it is so important that you speak with her, and then I will do my best to get chloe to speak with you, however if she refuses then you must promise me that you will leave and respect her decision?'

She walked around and got in the passenger side. She was clearly upset as she wiped tears from her eyes 'thank you Beca' well 'Don't thank me yet, I have a feeling I am about to test my relationship with your daughter to the max'

I had walked back into the house after composing myself and I messaged Thomas's dad and asked could he come and watch the kids for a hour or so while I sorted this out. I had ordered a pizza and I shouted Siobhan to let her know grandad was coming and that when I got home we could watch a movie downstairs. I needed to run, not run away but I needed to think, and running was how I did that exercising was how I did that. Soon as Grandad arrived he gave me a massive hug, 'it will be alright Chloe don't forget you are an adult now, not a child you can control the way you respond, and you can be the better person, whatever you decide to do I am very very very proud of you.'

I gave him a kiss on the cheek and left. I jumped in the car and drove to near the lake. I parked up put my headphones in and set off on a run, all I had blasting in my ears was Florence and The Machine 'You've got the love' It had started to rain and just being out and feeling the rain falling on to me made me feel alive, made me feel like I could breathe. As this song reverberated through my ears I could picture Beca, shit was a bitch to her, how would I get her to understand how never want to see my mum when she had that choice taken away from her and she idolised her mum. I stopped running pulled out my phone and txt her.

As I sat down in front of Chloe's mum my phone went off it was Chloe. Her mum looked at me,

'Babe, come home. I love you. Xxx'

I typed a message back and put my phone in my pocket. 'right you have by the time I finish this drink to tell me why you here.'

She looked across at me 'I am sick. By that I mean I am dying. I have a tumour it cannot be operated on and I have around 6months to live. They told me not to fly, I came without insurance, I am not looking for her to forgive me or even like me but I wanted to give her the option to ask me whatever she wants before she doesn't actually get the chance. That's why I am here. Her dad doesn't know I am here either. If I am honest he is not a nice man, not at all.'

Holy shit. 'ok, erm wow, I am sorry to hear you are so sick'

'Look I have wrote her a letter, maybe you could pass it to her?' I am here for a week, my husband thinks I am at my sisters in London. She is here with me though.'

'ok look il take the letter and I will see how Chloe responds when I get home, where are you staying? I cant promise you anything but what I can do is try'

'Thank You, how long have you and Chloe been together?'

'not long, but I love her very much, and her happiness is paramount to me. That why I really need to go, I want to see the kids before they go to bed and I want to spend sometime with Chloe. Can I drop you at your hotel?'

'that would be a great help, here is the letter for her should she wish to read it.'

'thanks come on'

I got back to the car and realised I had done a good hour run. Beca had messaged me back 'See you soon, save me some pizza and I love you xxx'

I smiled, I knew as long as I had Beca I could face anything we had already been through so much and I didn't want this to be another huge drama but I needed her to understand. More than anything I wanted her to hold me. I got back in the car, put the heathers on full and tried to dry off as I drove home.

I pulled up outside and placed the letter down the side of my door, tonight was not the night for that.

I opened the door to a pretty quiet house, but it smelt amazing…'hey guys, where are you? Do I smell chocolate cake? Niamh was the first one out of the kitchen…face covered in chocolate icing 'nope no cake' she started laughing as I ran towards her and scooped her up 'liar liar liar', I tickled her before placing kisses all over her little face. As I put her down and walked in the kitchen Patrick and Siobhan were decorating some cupcakes. 'Wow guys they are amazing, where's mum?'

Patrick looked up 'she went for a run that's why grandad is here'

'ahhhh I see, any pizza left?' I stole a slice off the side and Thomas's dad went out for a cigarette, I followed him.

'you ok? heard from Chloe?'

'yeah I am fine just worried about her that's all, she has messaged me so when the kids go to bed we can talk'

'She and Siobhan are having a movie night, she promised her before she left, maybe an idea to leave them two alone'

'Yeah I completely understand I will finish some work things off and leave them to it. Thanks for the heads up'

With that I heard the door go and in walked Chlo, she looked exhausted and like a drowned rat.

'hey babies these smell and look amazing!' she walked up to them all giving them kisses, she walked up to me 'can you run the shower for me please?'

'yea of course'

I walked upstairs and put the shower on, as I was leaving the bathroom she walked in and shut the door. She put the seat down on the toilet and sat down, she placed her head in her hands and just cried. I knelt down in front of her moved her hands from her face and placed my arms around her as she buried her face into m shoulder. I never said anything, she never said anything we didn't need to I could feel her pain and she could feel that I was there


	33. Chapter 34

After a about 5 minutes the bathroom had become quite misty from the heat of the shower water. 'Hey Babe, look we don't have to talk about any of this tonight ok, have your shower, pick a great movie with Siobhan and I will take care of Niamh and Patrick. Then how about we go to bed, you can put your favourite album on and we can talk about how amazing our home is going to be.'

Chlo looked down into my eyes, she cupped my face in her hands. 'I have no idea what I did to deserve you, but I love you more than you know.' I smiled and kissed the palm of her hand. 'As for deserving me, it is completely the other way around, I am blessed by you. Now have a shower you stink'.

With that she laughed and kicked me out the bathroom, I walked back downstairs, Thomas dad was on his way out, I thanked him for helping and then I scooped Niamh up, she began to squeal with laughter as I tickled her under her ribs. 'right little one, bed.'

'can you read me a big story?' I smiled as she looked expectantly at me. 'you mean a long story, and if you are quick having a wash and doing your teeth with me then yes' I put her down and she ran off shouting 'Dr seuss yessssss' and up the stairs she went shouting for her mum. 'you two ok here while I sort your sister out? Mum will be down in a minute?'

Siobhan looked up 'yeah no worries, I will put the cakes in the cake box and Patrick can help me load the dishwasher'

Patrick looked over to Siobhan 'erm I don't think so'

'yeah you will Patrick, mum isn't cleaning up our mess, so get your dodgy leg in to action'

Before I had the chance to say anything I heard Chloe 'Oi less of those type of comments please, they are uncalled for and nasty, say your sorry to your brother and Patrick go and help your sister'

I smiled at Chlo, who stood there with her hair pulled up in a loose ponytail, some sweatpants and a grey vest top. She looked cute, but I could see how exhausted she was. She looked at me, 'Niamh is waiting for you upstairs something about reading her some Dr Seuss book you have or something, I'll sort these out and then go watch a film with Siobhan. Tomorrow could you work from home?'

'Erm I will see what I can do but I am not sure I can,'

'just I thought when I had watched this film with Siobhan me and you could talk that's all but it will be late and i…' before she got time to finish I placed my hands on her hips, kissed her on the cheek, 'I will move things around, tonight you sleep, you are exhausted, tomorrow I will sort the children in the morning and then me and you can go have breakfast and for a walk to the lake, and you can talk about whatever you need to ok'

She looked at me and wiped a tear away. 'ok, thank you, I am sorry about before'

'no need to worry, I love you and you were upset, now go any enjoy your film with Siobhan'

I started to laugh as I heard Niamh 'beca hurry up, I wanted a big big story and now it will be a little one.' I smiled and headed for the stairs 'never mind a little one, il give you a little one' she was giggling.

Niamh was pretty much asleep after the first three pages. I kissed her head and tucked her up with the duvet. She was just a small version of Chlo.

I saw Patrick on his way up the stairs as I stood at the top 'hey dude you wanna read some comics for a bit before bed?'

'yeah that would be cool, we haven't done that for ages and I have a new one from grandad.'

As he got to the top of the stairs I ruffled his hair 'I am so proud of you mate' he looked up and smiled 'thanks, is erm mum ok?'

I sighed 'yeah mate she is going to be absolutely fine, she is just a little sad today and we all find that hard as mum is always so happy!'

'ok, well you make mum happy a lot so thanks.'

That made my heart swell, I kissed him on the top of his head, 'your mum, you and Siobhan and Niamh make me very happy too. right now, where is this comic'

Me and Siobhan were sat in Beca's room which was ours while the house was sorted. We were sat on the bed choosing a DVD to watch. 'mum why was you so upset today, is it beca?' I swallowed hard, 'no baby nothing to do with Beca, Beca is great. She makes me very happy, just she called me to tell me that Grandma is in Ireland and she wants to see me.'

'oh, so why you not happy? Is she coming to see us?'

Siobhan joined me on the sofa. 'No she isn't coming to see you, mummy and grandma not that she deserves that title really, dont get on at all, in fact I haven't spoken to her since I fell pregnant with you and me and your dad moved here.'

Siobhan looked up at me, 'why would you not talk to your mum, I could never not talk to you.'

I looked into her beautiful little eyes, 'well baby, gran wasn't nice to me much and so I don't really want to talk to her as she always makes me sad.'

Siobhan looked at me, 'maybe she feels sorry now mum, like sometimes when I say things that aren't nice and then when I say sorry you forgive me, maybe gran wants to say sorry, so you can forgive her' I kissed Siobhan on the head 'maybe she does, you chosen a movie?'

'Yep, 13 going on 30, I love it, and I can't wait till I am 30 and I will have lots of things'

'Siobhan baby don't wish your life away, being 30 isn't that cool'

'whatever mum, where's the popcorn'

With that we settle in to watch the movie, I could hear Patrick laughing and I could hear Beca doing stupid accents that were awful, god do I love that girl.

I spent about an hour with Patrick, we did some proper laughing. He loves his comics and of course he loves my stupid accents when we read them out. I hope he still gets chance to dance after his injuries, he is obsessed with street dance if we aren't reading comics we are watching dance moves on YouTube. I had kissed him goodnight and made my way down the stairs passing Chloe and Siobhan as I walked towards the stairs, Siobhan was asleep snuggled into her mum and Chloe looked like she was in deep thought. I didn't disturb her and walked downstairs.

I was sat out the back with a beer and my guitar just strumming away, when Chloe walked out, 'hey, what you are playing?' she stole my beer and drank from the bottle before handing it back, 'erm nothing really just strumming, you ok?'

She stood next to me and sighed. 'if I said yes, you would know I was lying, so honestly no, I'm not great but also, I don't really want to talk much about it tonight, can I put some music on?'

I put my guitar down and pulled up a playlist of tracks we had, Paul McCartney 'I don't know' began to play through the speakers, I walked up behind her and placed my hands around her waist, my chin was resting on her shoulder 'sleep tight, and I will take the strain' I whispered along to the lyrics in her ear. I could feel her relaxing into my arms, as the song came to an end she turned around and smiled as 'a place called you' by Emma Stevens came on. I smiled back, then I took her hands in mine and we began to dance. 'Omg Bec what are you doing' she was laughing, and god did I love hearing that laugh, 'erm less talking and more dancing red,' I winked at her and she laughed a lot as we both sang along to the lyrics. If anybody would have seen us I am sure they would have thought, we had been taking drugs.

As the song came to an end, I pulled Chlo into me, 'I love you' she ran her hands through my hair and leant in to kiss me softly, she pulled away and looked into my eyes 'Not as much as I love you, I would not know what to do without you' I leaned into kiss her 'good job that will never happen then hey'

She smiled at me. 'right you sit there an admire the view and I will grab you a glass of wine and then we can just sit and relax.'

We sat outside talking about a million and one things mostly house themed, we skyped with Gran which was funny, she was a bit drunk but looks like she is having an amazing time, even if she did tell me I looked exhausted and in need of a haircut, I messaged Alex also to see if he wanted to come around tomorrow evening. I was a bit conscious that Chlo may have a shit day and he could help with Siobhan and the kids really.

I had began reading a book, well I say I began reading a book, I did until Chlo asked would I read a chapter to her from it, so now most days I read a chapter to her when everything is quiet in the evening, so after skyping with Gran this is what we did. The title is 'David Bowie made me gay' by Darryl w. bullock. It is about 100 years of LGBT music. It's a great read so far, as I came to the end of the chapter I looked at Chlo who was fast asleep.

I nudged her gently, 'Baby, come on bedtime, I placed gentle kisses on her cheek. She moved a little and pulled my top, so I was closer to her, 'let's sleep here, I am comfy.' She looked so pretty, and my head was telling me to scoop her up and take her to bed, however I grabbed the throw from the living room and I placed it over us as I snuggled up behind her placing my hands in hers and pulling her close. She gave out a murmur and then I felt her fall into a deep sleep.

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, and the early morning chill. I was still wrapped in Beca's embrace and I don't think there was ever a place I felt safer. I rolled slowly off the sofa so not to disturb her. I picked up my phone. It was 5.30 am, I went upstairs got changed in to my running gear and scribbled a note to Beca to say where I had gone. I stepped outside and placed my headphones on, there was a new playlist on my ipod, just called Don't Look, Just Play Me.

I smiled to myself and hit play. I began a brisk walk, as 'Circle of Life' from the Lion King began playing. I couldn't help but smile. Beca and Patrick had a lot to answer for. I had great memories of this as me and the children had acted it out one Sunday morning when Niamh was very little. I stopped walking not that I had got far, and I leaned against the wall re living that moment. Things were very different now; however, it was all good different, but those memories were so important.

I spent the next 15minutes listening to the songs,a Disney theme was running through them. Then one song began to play, and I ran cold. It took me back to being Niamh age, my birthday, my mum had bought me Mary Poppins on Video and I had been so enchanted by it. We would sing the songs as I watched it every night before bed, my favourite had been 'lets fly a kite' I would sing that all the time and one summer mum had taken me to the beach and we had ran along the beach with this amazing red kite. It was one of my favourite days ever. I hadn't thought of that for so many years yet here I was early morning eyes closed back as a super excited child. Tears streamed down my face, yet I couldn't help smiling so much and reliving those moment when I loved mum and mum loved me. How it had all gone so bad. I played that song on repeat while I stood there.

How, did they know about this song, I had never allowed the children to watch Mary Poppins as It was too hard, so this isn't something they would know or even Thomas would of. I decided to continue my walk and pretty much searched the Mary Poppins soundtrack, as I walked the country roads with Julie Andrews in my ears I wanted to get back to the kids and I wanted to sit with them and share this film with them all snuggled in my arms.

I walked back into the house, Beca was stood in the kitchen making coffee. 'Hey, how did you know about Mary Poppins, don't say you don't know what I am talking about because I know it will be a lie. Did you talk with my mum yesterday after I asked you not too?'

As I poured coffee into the cup on the side I could feel Chloe's eyes burning into me, 'Fuck' I thought to myself as she finished her sentence.

I turned around, my eyes meeting her red teary ones, 'I didn't talk as such, she talked to me and before you go off and shout at me, she gave me an envelope for you and it had a red kite on the seal with a lyric. That's all.'

She stood staring at me. In silence. 'So that's all, because if I find out that you had conversations with her about me and my childhood I won't forgive you for lying.'

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 'ok well I took her for coffee, not because I wanted to talk with her but because she seemed so desperate and I wanted to know what the fuck she wanted and to explain that I wouldn't have you hurt or upset, then I dropped her at her hotel and that's when she gave me the letter.'

Chloe looked at me with a blank look, I couldn't read her at all. 'give me the letter'

'erm yeah sure it is in the car babe' I put my coffee down to go to get it. 'just give me your keys il get it myself'

I passed the keys to her and she left. I stood in the kitchen waiting for her return. Next minute my car disappeared off the drive. 'Fuck!'

I picked my phone up and called her. She kept cancelling the calls.

As I sat in Becs car I looked at the letter in my hands, mums writing, I decided to drive off, I didn't know what to do, before I realised I was on the drive way of Thomas parents. I looked at the door an before I had chance to knock I felt these big arms engulf me. 'come on my love lets get you a warm drink and a jumper. Beca said you took off. He kissed me on the head. Come on tell me what's going on.'

After a few moments of sorting myself out and several sips of my tea I handed him the letter.

'is this what your mum gave Beca, she mentioned it when she called.'

I nodded. 'I don't know hat to do with it'

'well you have two options, if it was me I would want to read it, and let's face it Chlo, you have dealt with many more terrible things than a letter. You had a baby when you were a child yourself, you have relocated countries, you have divorced my idiot of a boy, you have dealt with your feelings for Beca and faced that and then you have supported Siobhan and Patrick when they have had awful things happen, not to mention your illness around food. I wish you could see yourself through other eyes. This is just a letter.

I pulled my phone out and rang Thomas. 'hey,yeah yeah I am at your parents, could you have the children for today and overnight?'

'yes, of course. I will head over there now, what should I tell them?'

'just tell them I am going on a surprise stay out in the city with Beca. Siobhan knows mum wants to talk with me, and Alex was coming around so maybe best to message him as Siobhan will still want to see him. Could you tell Beca when you get there to come here please'

'Yeah of course I will, you need me to do anything else?'

'no thanks, but Thomas, thank you, for all you have done for me since we were kids.'

'clo, no thank you, I am sorry for all the hurt and pain I caused you I really am.'

'thanks, look after the kids and I will pick them up tomorrow night.'

'no worries but if you want me to have them longer just ask'

'Thanks Tom. See you tomorrow.'

Having known Chlo like I do I figured she would head up to Thomas's parents they were like parents to her and they always would be, she was scared and so I called him. Explained what happened and sure enough I received a txt off Thomas; mum to say Chloe had arrived there. That gave me peace. My phone went off.

Chlo: I didn't answer because I was so mad at you, and I needed to calm down to think. Thomas is going to come for the kids, he said if they are still in bed he will wait there until they wake up. When he gets there, come find me.

No kisses or emoji's clearly, she was still unhappy with me, but it isn't like I had given her mum the address or anything. I text her back telling her I loved her.

Chlo: xxxx

Next minute there was a knock and Thomas walked in.

'Hey Becs, chloe said can you go up to my parents'

'Yeah she just txt me, on my way now.'

'cool, take her a hot chocolate from the coffee place in the village, its her favourite, it will chill her out. When we first moved here and everything was crazy that's what she would do.'

As much as taking advice of my girlfriend's ex killed me I knew he would be right.

'cheers, see you tomorrow, help yourself to anything you want.'

I jumped in Chlo's car and headed to the village grabbed her a hot chocolate and drove to Thomas's parents house.

I walked in and Chlo was sat on the floor, back up against the sofa, Thomas's dad was on the chair letter in hand. He walked over to me handed it to me and placed his hand on my shoulder as he walked behind me and left the room.

Chloe never moved or said anything. I sat in the chair. 'Chlo, I got you this.' I handed it over, she gave off a slight smile and looked up. 'Thanks, Thomas has a good memory, open it.' She nodded towards the letter.

'what?'

She looked at me 'I said open it, an then read it to me'


End file.
